Meditations from Zion

Luke 22:55-57
But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.” But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.

When Peter denied Christ in the courtyard, each denial escalated. First he denied knowing Jesus, then he denied being among the disciples and finally, he even denied being a Galilean. Sometimes, it takes this progression before we encounter the mirror of Christ.

I struggle with bad eating habits every day. As a result, my weight and well being are doing a ying-yang every few weeks. In the end, the culprit is in my head. It’s where the denial starts. I’ll have “one” cookie or “one” piece of candy, then later, I’ll be tired or feel cranky and therefore I “deserve” a treat, perhaps a granola bar (almost healthy) or two and by evening, I might as well have a quesadilla with chips, salsa, and guacamole since I’ve already blown it for the day (dare I mention the late night ice cream snack?).

Another example is my failed commitment to stay in touch with my distant relatives in Estonia and Germany. I have promised to call them and email regularly, but the day comes and goes and the call is not made, the email is not written and soon, so much time has passed that it feels too embarrassing to call or write at all. It’s a vicious cycle really.

This same progression can happen anywhere and anytime. It can happen with our prayer times, our reading, our plans to reach out to others, to attend church, to visit a friend… it doesn’t matter. One denial will lead to another. One lie will create another. One deception will birth another.

We’ll never know what would have happened if Peter had not denied Jesus that fateful night. Peter had projected out what he thought would happen… he feared for his life. How often do we project a false scenario of the future to justify our actions and decisions?

Today, I pray, let me not wait and deny the truth. Give me courage to face my self-betrayals and bring them into the Light of Christ.