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Posts Tagged ‘heart’

O, My Uncircumcised Heart

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 7:51
You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit!

It’s such a temptation to use a public forum like this to pontificate about the condition of the church or the condition of all the “others” who are not in God’s will or plan. But today I realize again how important it is for me to show my own heart. Oh sorrow, it is buried again beneath the layers of self-deception.

The heart is tricky because it regrows layers even after it’s been circumcised. These regrown layers may start out very thin and almost indiscernible at first, but eventually, layer upon layer forms and the heart is back to where it was before the Holy Spirit touched it. As the layers accumulate, the hardness begins to set in and although the mind and body can go through the motions of worship and service, the heart is no longer involved.

Some of the symptoms: a cavalier attitude toward corporate worship, missing times with God, a quick temper, a judgmental cattiness, overwhelming tiredness, forgetfulness, looking for change for the sake of change, putting others under the microscope, dropping responsibilities, indulging the body, resisting the Holy Spirit, just to name a few.

I don’t think I’m at the totally hardened stage yet … obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing today.

Psalm 51:17 says, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” It’s really quite simple, acknowledge what is happening and be chastened by the truth of it. It goes right along with repent. It goes right along with choice.

God does not come in with a sledge hammer or a fancy butcher knife to do heart work. Instead, like a child who runs to a parent and shows the injury, God brings comfort and then gently removes the harmful effects. God cleans the layers of dirt and grime and if necessary, the scab that his holding in infection. God uses truth with love.

I don’t like being vulnerable. I don’t like placing myself in places where I might get hurt. I hide my fears with layers of humor and bravado and chameleon-esque behaviors. In this way, I can keep people out of the tender places, I can control the connections. I know how to hide.

Oh, “refiner’s fire,” come and burn away the dross. Give me courage to be transparent and authentic. Give me courage to accept my tender places.

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Is There an Evil One?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 2, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 17:15
“My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” [Jesus praying]

Is there an evil one? You’re kidding! On what planet are you living? Of course there is an evil one and he/she is having a party down here.

The question is how do we engage evil.

According to Jesus, truth is the great weapon against evil [vs 17]. Harumph! We don’t use that tactic much. I think we try other things instead: isolating ourselves from evil, condemning evil, running away from evil, lumping evil in with a lot of other things, avoiding evil, and worst of all, pretending evil doesn’t exist.

In order for truth to have power, it must have complete foothold within our being. We must take a stand within before we can venture forth. We must choose honestly, love honestly, act honestly, speak honestly. Here is where truth begins. It is out of this truth that we can become equipped to engage the evil one. This is the power of union with Christ. This is the point. We can only be honest with ourselves when we are authentic with the Christ within.

The evil one uses guerrilla warfare, secret agents, emotional manipulation, and brainwashing. It’s scary out here. I take hold of truth today in my heart, soul, and mind.

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Exposing Gentleness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Philippians 4:5a
“Let your gentleness be evident to all….” [Paul]

Exposing gentleness has always sounded dangerous to me. That’s why most people perceive me as having a “strong,” maybe even tough exterior. It’s a type of shield for my heart. I’m sure, even my dearest friends, wouldn’t choose “gentle” to describe me. But it is there.

I only expose my gentle self when I judge the circumstances are safe. For instance, I’m sure my pets would call me gentle most of the time, particularly one on one. Or is it that they gentle me? In any event, I respond to their unconditional love. But the heart cannot count on unconditional love from others. The gentle heart must give it.

One key to exposing the gentle heart is not responding like for like. I get sucked in emotionally to the flames of others when I want to be cool water.

Another key is trusting God to protect my heart. I think the revelation for me today is that a heart protected by God is like a “tempurpedic mattress” – it returns to its shape naturally. It’s not that the heart won’t be pushed or compressed, but it will bounce back.

In truth, the gentle heart is resilient and very strong. The gentle heart accepts people right were they are. The gentle heart places no expectations on others. The gentle heart is patient. The gentle heart is brave.

Oh, gentle heart, be brave today.

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Genuine Praise

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , on June 6, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 5:41-42
I do not accept praise from men, but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts.

Praise can be given but has no value if it is not accepted. Genuine praise must come from the depths of the heart. It is grounded in truth and love for the other. Anything else is self-serving.

It comes back to motive. Why do we praise others unless we really want them to be lifted up? Genuine praise comes from genuine humility.

And so, it is really quite simple: we are challenged to get the heart right before we give out from there. Praise that comes from the heart is full of power. It is truly about the “other” and not about self. Once we can tap into this authentic love, praise will come naturally.

Lord, fill my heart so that praise becomes a natural expression… for you and for others. This is my prayer.

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Pilate Satisfied the Crowd

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , on April 7, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Mark 15:14-15
“Why? What crime has he committed?” asked Pilate.
But they shouted all the louder, “Crucify him!”
Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

In the end, Pilate satisfied the crowd because it was easier. He had no fear of Jesus. He discounted the warnings of his wife. He viewed the whole matter as an inconvenience. He made a few lame attempts at releasing Jesus instead of Barabbas. And I’m sure he even knew it was the priests who were driving the crowd. But most of all, he knew Jesus was innocent. He took the path of least resistance. Truth was not essential.

Today, I read in Luke 21:34… “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life…” where Jesus warned the people that these things will prevent a person from recognizing the truth of events unfolding in the end times. A dissipated heart could be interpreted as a heart wasted away by misuse, drunkenness as “self-medication” and anxiety as fear of self-control (for in the end, anxiety occurs when we can’t control our circumstances). All of these prevent us from seeing the truth. And so, we take the easier path, just like Pilate. We have lost the ability to feel the pain of others, we run from our own pain, and we build walls around our world to keep out the messiness of life.

Today, I will seek courage for seeing truth and choosing the way of it. Today, I will exercise my heart, my mind, and my soul for the sake of Christ.

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Fallow Ground

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , on February 26, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Matthew 13: 3-9
Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.”

Despite all that I have done this past year, two bible studies, regular devotions, bible reading, etc., I still come to the Lord today with a heart that feels fallow. I think so much of what I have learned and heard has washed away like water that cannot be absorbed in a hard pan of soil. We are known by our fruit… I know that. So, where is the fruit. (Reminds me of that old fast food commercial where the little old lady would look straight at the camera and say, “Where’s the beef?”) I feel the same way. Where’s the fruit?

Of course, I am also an impatient cuss! Perhaps the soil is not fallow… perhaps the seeds have been planted and are merely waiting for the right moment to sprout. Open my ears this day Lord that I might hear you. Water the garden of my heart.

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On Brotherly Affection 3

Posted in Fifty days with Jesus, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2008| 1 Comment »

So let’s talk about families and relationships. What is the expectation? While we are still children , we certainly expect our parents to be safe. We expect our parents to know what is best. We expect them to love us and take care of us. If this expectation is broken, for whatever reason, we are already at a disadvantage as we move into adulthood. If we have lost our ability to trust, we have lost one of the key elements to love.

Love requires an exposure of the heart and the ability to tolerate a bit of heart stomping. But there are limits to what a heart can bear.

Children are extremely resilient. They can forgive “absent,” “bad,” “neglectful,” and even “brutal” parents for a long time, but eventually there is a toll that is extracted from the heart. So often, these broken experiences with a parent are stumbling blocks on the path toward hearlthy adult relationships not to mention a relationship with Christ.

But perhaps the parents are not cruel, but simply broken themselves. The cycle often goes from one generation to another. They may have never experienced unconditional love, trust, encouragement, praise, boundaries, instruction, or anything else that is part of the growing up process. They cannot “miraculously” pass these elements down to their own children. They must learn them themselves first.

There are ways to repair the damage to the heart and to learn new behaviors and attitudes. In the secular world, it is usually through counseling or, if the person is lucky, through an extremely well-grounded, patient, and healthy mate who can model love (but this opportunity is rare since most broken adults are rarely attracted to healthy adults… but gravitate to the familiar).

In the Church, this healing should come through our interactions with Christ and the family of Christ. First of all, we have Christ’s sacrifice [symbolized by the cross] whose blood insures we have access to God Himself … we have access to the holy of holies where there is healing for all. And so, we should be able to appropriate this power, to place the cross between ourselves and others, and to connect heart to heart, soul to soul, spirit to spirit. The past should no longer have such a great influence over us.

Instead, we forget what is available to us. We shield the heart from further hurts. We create our own version of the “holy of holies” and only allow others into the “outer court.”

I’m thinking it’s time to take down the veil between my personal “holy of holies” and the outer court. It’s time to stop requiring all kinds of sacrificial proofs from people I encounter… prove to me that you won’t hurt me, take these litmus tests to prove your worthiness or compatibility quotient to be my friend, be sure you are “like” me before you enter or you’ll be cast aside.

Earlier I said that the heart must be able to tolerate a little stomping. I know this to be true because Jesus himself alluded to it… the forgiving of others seventy times seven for starters.

When I came to the Lord, it was through a young man who initially hid his Christianity from others because he was afraid that people wouldn’t like him. Instead, they didn’t like him anyway because they believed he was “faking” and hiding something. They even thought he was “gay” and encouraged to “come out.” In the end, he did come out… he came out as a Christian. Did it turn things around? Did he suddenly have great numbers of friends? No, not really. But he felt better about himself. And, in the end, because he came out for Jesus, his testimony brought me to the Lord. That was almost 30 years ago.

Friendship, marriages, families, churches … all relationships must be based on truth. There are no guarantees in relationships. When the heart is injured by another, it is only Christ within who can heal, protect and renew. But we should not ask Him to insulate us from pain. The butterfuly that does not struggle to emerge from the cocoon is not strong enough to survive. Life has pain. Relationships have pain. Love has pain. We grow stronger through experience if we choose it.

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