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Posts Tagged ‘Timothy’

True Life. True Self.

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2011| 1 Comment »

It’s not always what we think it is: true life. Understanding is particularly difficult for the wealthy and, even though I hate to say it, I am among these. Most Americans are. We have abundance and we have fooled ourselves into believing it’s the life, that American dream.

I Timothy 6:19
In this way they [the wealthy] will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Oh, compared to Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, I’m not rich. But, compared to the millions of people who live on a dollar a day or who are deeply dependent on welfare and social security subsidies, I am flush. And yet, Paul admonishes his mentee, Timothy, to pay particular attention to the wealthy, who must be reminded often that it is not their goods, but their good works that have value over time. It is their liberal generosity willingness to share with others. . . . not just share money, but time.

The rich become complacent and arrogant more easily.

I can certainly attest to the complacency. If it were not so, I would be manifesting greater service to those in need. It’s not that I don’t care, I just can’t seem to “fit it all in.” How lame.

As a supervisor, I have asked employees who struggle with “best use of their time” to log their days for a couple of weeks and analyze how their time is really spent. Clearly, I need to to do the same thing.

What did I do yesterday that was investment in “true life?” What will I do today?

Sometimes and maybe even more than sometimes, generosity is not about money, but about generosity of the heart. If we give out of true self, like time and authentic connections, that has value too. Can I give bountifully of myself today? Can I stay mindful enough of the inner presence of the Holy Spirit, that I can be open to feel, to hear, to see, to sense, the pain of another, the loss, the hollow places that need an outpouring of love? Can I? Will I?

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Who is my Witness?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Photo by Nic Mifsud

Who do I call on to affirm or witness my declaration of faith? Do I have the confidence to call on God, “the blessed and only Ruler, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords,” to corroborate my story each day? And yet, that is the only witness that counts. That’s part of the faith agreement.


I Timothy 6:13-14a
In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command [fight the good fight] . . .

There’s an evangelistic phrase that has been beat to death, “If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?”

But of course, the answer depends on the human interpretation of our actions. And really, all those other witnesses could say what they want, there is only witness that counts.

I have been in enough churches or para-church organizations and observed a cloud of well-meaning witnesses crucify me and others for saying the wrong thing, for revealing a disapproved behavior or choice, for reading the wrong books or watching the wrong movies or listening to the wrong music. Once, my husband and I left a church only to discover later that we were discussed as having left the true faith by leaving that group and moving on to a different one. (Anne Jackson speaks eloquently of this in her book and blog, Permission to Speak Freely.)

Have I been guilty of being this kind of witness to others? I’d love to say I haven’t, but I know better.

It’s one of the reasons that gossip is so dangerous, it’s a type of witnessing, a “passing” of information with little concern for its accuracy. One of the curses of gossip for me is that hearing it or speaking it has given me the illusion of being on the inside of a matter. If I have “news” that no one else has, I am an insider. When I hear such news, I am being included. What a terrible sham.

I cannot go back, I can only go forward. Today is a new day and today, I open the gates of heart and ask that He be my witness this day.

Lift up your heads, you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory?

The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory. [Psalm 24:7-10]

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Fight the Good Fight

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2011| 4 Comments »

What do you think it means to “fight the good fight?” I used to think it meant a lot of proselytizing and speaking out for the faith. I needed to take a stand, face derision for my beliefs, hold the line, and be bold for Jesus. Wrong.


I Timothy 6:11-12a
But you, man [woman] of God, flee from all this [the love of money], and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith.

To fight the good fight, it’s an interior struggle; it’s learning to choose, in the moment, the right way, the honest way, a choice that may not be “best” for me. It’s about experiencing God in such a way that I am awake to the Holy Spirit and respond to people and situations as the Christ would. It’s about believing in the truth of the Presence. It’s all real and true and does make a difference inside me. I am different because of that Presence. It’s love. And that’s the most difficult of all because it’s love in the face of all things, it’s love so strong that one’s heart is visible, it’s love so authentic that is can tolerate rejection and hatred and betrayal. That’s why endurance is part of the package. That’s the fight part. Keeping on. And then, the last: gentleness. What? Gentleness? How do we do this long-suffering battle with gentleness?

It would take everything in me to test to truth of these words. And that’s the point.

I need to be gentle with myself. It’s a journey. It’s a war to become . . . to really give it all away (those old ways, not just the stuff) and follow the Christ.

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Pierced with many Griefs

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Contentment can turn into complacency if not tempered by the presence of God. While the drive for monetary success can override smaller, gentler ways and cause discontent, sorrow, or grief. Success, fame, renown . . . they are also cut from the same cloth as the love of money.


I Timothy 6:6, 10
But godliness with contentment is great gain. . . . For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Two sides of a coin are represented in this brief passage.

On one side, I see the importance of adding godliness to the formula for contentment. So many people have taken contentment to mean “door mat” or satisfaction with misrepresentation. Neither of these are correct. True contentment is wrapped up in trust first and sensitized to the Spirit within that trust wrapper. When we cannot change a situation, then we must trust God to know and impact it in God time. And when we can change a situation, then we must move according to the stirrings from the Holy Spirit, moving at a non-human speed. That’s how contentment and godliness work together.

On the other side of my coin is too much action with the wrong motivation. It’s change for the sake of personal gain alone. It’s living a deception and for this reason, it brings grief, for once the money or fame or notoriety are achieved, truth is lost and in many cases, the people who mattered most are cast away while the secret dream that had nothing at all to do with money is forgotten.

Sometimes, acclaim comes without an expectation or specific desire for it. Sometimes, it’s a by-product because a person acted out of pure motive and devotion. It can happen. But not often.

For me, I have known none all and none. Griefs have come and I have felt the piercings. Mostly, because of my fears of not having money. And so, there is a holding or misuse of money, a drive to protect what I do have. It colors my world and I don’t like it, but I am hard-pressed to let go. I am hard-pressed to experience contentment within the confines of what is: this much money and no more; this lifestyle and not another; this security and not that other one; this way for now and not another way.

Grief comes with loss and how interesting to be warned of loss in the midst of “financial gain.” Another scriptural paradox!

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Quarrels About Words

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2011| 2 Comments »

Words are compelling. They can change someone’s mind or lock in a point of view; they can soothe or they can motivate to action; they can break a heart or heal. Words create and words destroy. Depending on the wielder of those words and the interpreters, meaning can go either way.

I Timothy 6:4b-5a
“. . . He [one against the message of the Christ] has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men, . . . ”

Currently, there is quite the controversy over the book, Love Wins, by Rob Bell. Perhaps by now, a few of the attackers of this book have actually read it, but I have a feeling that their minds are made up about the author and will read into those words what they believe are true. In response, they have added more words that are even more controversial, like heretic and apostate and “universalist.” These words are highly charged and challenge anyone who might want to agree with Rob Bell’s proposition as being in equal danger. Each day, I google Rob’s name and his book to find additional essays and points of view. Today, I discovered a well crafted essay from Richard J. Mouw, the President of Fuller Theology, who called Bell’s book one of salvific generosity or a generous orthodoxy, a term popularized by Brian McLaren some years ago (also a controversial author).

And so the battles rage about words and more words. Some are determined to “protect the faith” and some are equally determined to take grace to its limits, expanding the faith.

I am not a theologian nor do I have any authority to speak either way really, except by personal experience. I have written about my mother before who died at 91, in full dementia, and after a long life of mental instability, bitterness, and hardness of heart. But, when it came time for the end of her life, love was there and she had a specific experience of seeing the Christ. How could that be? How could God break through that cloud of confusion? Because, love can win. That love came through me, my husband, my children, my church family, my friends, and my neighbors. That love was three-dimensional, yes, but I believe it was also supernatural.

There is potential for recognition of the Way at any point in a life. We will never know.

When I give my own testimony of how God reached into my own soul, I am always reminded that several people who had known me before my revelation would say, “You? You are a Christian? You are LAST person I would think would ever do that.” And so it was, that I was the last person, like the woman who washed Jesus’s hair with her tears. And so, among the terrorists and killers, the child molesters and liars, the idolaters and the prisoners, I am there too. We are all among the last. And what words are there for us?

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Careful Laying On of Hands

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , on March 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

What is it about the laying on of hands that is so potent that Paul must give warning about it? Some translations imply it’s the implied authority that the laying on hands imparts, but I think there might be more to it than that: it might have to do with power.

I Timothy 5:22
Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.

When the elders or leaders lay hands on Timothy, he was empowered or anointed or sent forth to do the work to which he was called. The people who touched him agreed with this call and witnessed it. They shared some part of themselves through that touch. And with it all, came the “gift” that was his and needed for the work ahead.

On occasion, we still see the laying on the hands in our contemporary churches. Sometimes, it is done to send out someone on a missionary journey or a new project. But more often, it is done in the name of healing. And isn’t it because we want that act to evoke a change? We desire for our health, let’s say, to give strength to the one who is sick. Or, maybe, we can be a conduit for a greater power, that of God Himself through the Holy Spirit within us.

But why doesn’t it seem to work?

Perhaps we lay hands too quickly. Perhaps we have missed the true transaction. Perhaps we should step back and consider why we are reaching out.

The laying on of hands should be intentional. I intend to make my next act more meaningful. I will ask for the explicit participation of the Holy Spirit beforehand. I will prepare my heart and clear my mind and purposefully extend the promise of the Christ.

Who am I to do this? No one, but a follower of the Christ who walks ahead of me and shows the way.

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What is a church?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Paul writes to the elders who “direct the affairs of the church” and I can’t help but wonder, what is this church? Many have written about the church over the centuries and it continues to morph. Today, some are big business while others gather in a private home. What is it for me? You?

I Timothy 5:17
The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.

There is something about the corporateness of “church” that appeals to me. If I had the time, I’d look up the scripture references to gathering together, supporting one another, and building unity. But for now, I’ll just say, I know, in my heart, that “koinonia” is important.

There is a difference between Church (capital “C”), the greater Body of Christ throughout the world and the sub-unit of the Body, also called church (small “c”). In some cases, those sub-units have become silos and have built walls between their brands of corporate worship and the practices of other groups. They may even worship the same God but too many become suspicious if activities and terminology don’t resonate with their own.

Is church merely a place to worship together? Or is it just a corporate agreement that we share the same God? Is it a family? Or is it better than family? Is it accidental or intentional?

Some will glibly say the church is the people and not the building. And yet, they don’t know the person sitting next to them.

Mike and I are part of the launch of a new church in Havre de Grace called Restore Church. What will that look like? How will it be different, or will it? What does it mean to “do church?” Will we be able to know one another? Will we achieve true koinonia?

Will we get caught up in the government of church or the “affairs of the church” and lose the essence?

There is so much talk about church planting, but what are we planting? Are we putting down roots? Are we nurturing ourselves and others?

For the past twenty years, we have been at the same church, a wonderful mass of people, and yet we felt it was time to move on to experience something else. There was no anger, no complaints, not really, just a languishing feeling. My fear is that it simply comes with my age. Am I simply tired of church in its most traditional sense? What is it I want to experience now?

I have a lot of questions but few answers today. But I know this, it’s important to ask and to seek. It’s important for Spirit to lead.

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