Meditations from Zion

Matthew 26:74-75
Then he began to call down curses on himself and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.

In Matthew’s version of this story, Peter is confronted with the truth of himself and weeps; a few lines later, Judas confronts himself and commits suicide. Both men felt remorse. Both were overwhelmed by their actions but only one survives. Peter is not mentioned again individually by Matthew, except as within the group of eleven disciples who return to Galilee to see Jesus ascend. But in Luke’s gospel, we see Peter among the gathered disciples and then he rushes to the empty tomb to see it for himself.

Here’s my point: Peter wept when he saw himself in stark reality. Both Luke and Matthew say he wept bitterly which implies how difficult it was for him to accept the truth. But Peter’s response, his next step, was to return to community instead of isolating himself.

When we see the truth of ourselves, our first tendency is to hide and go it alone. But that is not the best way. Isolation is just the beginning of a downward spiral into depression and hopelessness. Nothing we have done or said is beyond surrender to God. Forgiveness is made real by sharing that painful confession with other believers. It is the body of Christ that puts hands and feet on forgiveness and renewal.

I am working my way back into community, into koinonia. Will there be open arms?