Meditations from Zion

Acts 19:32b
“… Most of the people did not even know why they were there.”

How many times have I looked around and asked myself how I ended up in a particular situation? Sometimes, it’s a crowd thing, to be sure, just being caught up in the synergy of the thing and suddenly, there I am, in the midst of a mass of people who are shouting and carrying signs. I’m not shouting; I’m not carrying a sign. I’ve just realized where I am and I don’t want to be there, but how do I extricate myself?

Some of these things have happened because I didn’t stop to really think. I just went along for the ride not realizing where the ride might lead me. This is usually a type of teen behavior. I should know better.

I remember my first marriage. I was only eighteen and when I accepted that proposal of marriage, never did I realize that I would be caught up in a whirlwind that would not stop. And so, on that fateful day as I walked down the aisle, I knew I was making a mistake. But it was too late and I was not brave enough to be a “runaway bride.”

I remember going up to Toronto when the Toronto Blessing was big news and people were flying in from all over the world to experience this “new wave” of the Spirit. It was all so exciting until I found myself standing on a line with hundred and hundreds of other people waiting for someone to come along and pray for me with the expectation that I would be “slain in the spirit” and fall backward (they also provided catchers). Now, I know that being slain in the spirit can happen, it has happened to me once or twice and I went from upright to flat on the ground, with no catcher, no injuries, and thoroughly blessed. But my Toronto encounter was a conveyor belt and I wondered what I was doing there.

The list of these “where am I” experiences is long. Did someone tell me ahead of time? Did someone try to stop me? Did someone warn me? Unfortunately, I don’t remember that part. I was always too caught up in the moment, in the crowd, in the momentum.

As a parent, I am trying to be that voice of caution or “reality check” for my teenagers. They’re not listening either. Instead, they are calling me a “bubble breaker” who pricks the balloons of excitement and enthusiasm for a project.

But following a momentum without really thinking doesn’t just happen to teenagers. We are all guilty of not looking at all sides of a situation. It can be something as simple as raiding the grocery store for milk, eggs, and bread at the slightest hint that there may be a snowstorm. It can be showing up at a county council meeting to scream about taxes or budget cuts. It can be passing along an email or a blog post that is caustic or crude or downright wrong.

How do we get into these situations? We don’t take time to think… to pray… to consider the consequences of our actions. We lose courage in the face of the crowd, the group voice, the assumptions of righteousness.

Lord, give me a heart of courage this day. Give me sensitivity to your voice, your Spirit. And above all, give me mindfulness.