No, I have not faced despair to the point of facing death. My life is blessed. What are my struggles compared to walking streets where a car bomb could go off at any moment or looking into the eyes of my starving children each day or living in a tent city or carrying water for miles in plastic water jugs?
II Corinthians 1:8b-9
We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
I understand the theory of trusting God in the face of despair. I understand that God is present for the poorest of the poor, for the loneliest of the lonely, the widows and orphans, the lost. But I have only witnessed these lives from afar. Even when I went to Africa, I was in a cocoon of safety.
In Namibia, I spent one afternoon at the Mafuta village where our church-sponsored children’s home was providing a lunch to the local school children. And I was touched by their need, their struggle. And yet, these were better off than many. They were being fed while many others elsewhere are not.
Would I have the courage to trust in God in the face of true despair? Would I be able to hold fast to my faith?
It is the reason I am still in awe of Mother Teresa when she served in Calcutta. She faced the despair of others every day. But she was able to sustain herself in Christ. Only her faith in God allowed her to rise each day and touch the dead and dying. To be the hands of love. She could not bring hope, even. Just tenderness and love in the face of despair.
Meditations from Zion 
There is, on the one hand, the hope that our earthly life will turn out well, then there is, on the other hand, the hope that there is some transcendent aspect to life that means that ultimately all is, in a sense, right, even when facing death.
We will all die, whether in 70 years’ time or today. Therefore while both kinds of hope are necessary in life, the latter is the great sustainer.
I think that when one is starving and the future is very bleak, it may offer the latter kind of hope when encountering one such as Mother Teresa.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Maybe that is why God allows certain difficulties in our “American” lives because we have so much compared to most of the rest of the world. I think it can make it harder for us to NOT rely on ourselves….but wow a part of me wishes there were an “easier” way to be molded into His image…ouch! Even as I am sharing this I realize I have NOTHING to complain about…we are SO blessed.
I couldn’t agree more.
I think that God is not an interfering creator-person as usually understood. I don’t think that God ‘allows’ or ‘disallows’ anything.
But it is true that suffering does tend to be a catalyst for the religious mindset – under the right circumstances.
Like how oftentimes an alcoholic must hit rock-bottom before he can find the will to change, so must human beings experience the depths of suffering before they can shuck off all their old complacent ways.
My understanding of religion is that there’s a vain ego that sees itself as distinct from God/God’s creation – prayer, or meditation, is silencing this ego in order to experience Grace.
But while we are comfortable and complacent, it is all too easy to tell ourselves pleasing and reassuring things, and indulge in egotism. Suffering shocks us; it seems to take away that ego-solace and reveal it as flimsy and false.
That makes sense to me too.