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Archive for the ‘Ordinary Time’ Category

Living in the Light

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2010| 2 Comments »

God's Light by Max Ash

God is light [I John 1:5]; God is love [I John 4:8]. And I am offered a chance to live my life in the circle of both: light and love. I ask for God’s indwelling and both are available to me. So, why do I continue to shutter the light and edit the love? Why do I “kick against the goads?”

Ephesians 5:8-10
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

This is the prayer that Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity would recite each day (by John Henry Cardinal Newman)

Dear Jesus,
Help me to spread Your fragrance everywhere I go.
Flood my soul with Your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly,
that my life may only be a radiance of Yours.
Shine through me, and be so in me
that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me,
but only Jesus!
Stay with me and then I shall begin to shine as you shine,
so to shine as to be a light to others;
the light, O Jesus will be all from You;
none of it will be mine;
it will be you, shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise You the way You love best,
by shining on those around me.
Let me preach You without preaching,
not by words but by my example,
by the catching force of the sympathetic influence of what I do,
the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to You.
Amen.

It’s a process, that’s why. It’s a daily prayer, a daily unveiling, an awareness, a practice.

I’m thinking this is more difficult alone than in a group. The whole point of fellowship with other light-minded people is to help keep the light shining, to fan the flame, to encourage the embers, to light the darkness.

“Kindle in me the fire of your love . . . ”

(FD5)

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Empty Words

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , on November 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »

'City of Words', lithograph by Vito Acconci, 1999

What are “empty words” and how do they get so much power? They can mean loud, confused talk; they can mean sheer rhetoric (wordiness); or they can be just idle talk and chatter. Words, words, words: what is said and how we say them; they all matter after all, for good or ill.

Ephesians 5:6a, 8
Let no one deceive you with empty words, . . . For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light . . .

I have been struggling so much the last few days to temper my speech. I have tried to stop myself from speaking maliciously or unintentionally “catty.” I can put such an arch in my voice that even if the words are harmless, the intent is not. I know it and I know their power.

Now, there is another layer to consider and that of empty words, the yakkity yakkity yak that has no value whatsoever really and yet can do harm. How many cliches do I use in a day and what do they bring to a conversation really?

But I still wonder about those empty words that carry enough power to bring down the wrath of God. These empty words are chosen to deceive. These are words that appear to have meaning but don’t. These are words that are spoken to give the listener what he/she wants to hear perhaps. These are “wooing” words. These words do not carry the whole truth. They dissemble. They lie.

Though I confess I have used empty words in chatter, let me not use words to deceive. Once again, make me exceedingly mindful of my words today.
(FD 4)

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Idolaters

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , on November 9, 2010| Leave a Comment »

An idolater cannot see the inner way. The appeal of the outside world, where sensuality, lust for things and love of money prevail, blocks the path to the riches of God which are the inheritance of a believer: peace, love, joy, contentment, relationship.

Ephesians 5:5
For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

It’s not so much that all these things and behaviors are “bad” per se, but they cannot coexist in the same space with the things of God, that’s all.

More about idols.

(FD 3)

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Live a Life of Love

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I have a friend whose life phrase is “live loved” which she has adopted from the God Journey folks. It deeply resonates because of its simplicity and promise that we are loved and called to do the same for others.

Ephesians 5:2-3
Be imitators of God, a therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It’s a two way process actually, but substantially begins with being loved (or recognizing that we are loved). Usually, we experience this love first as small children in the home. The better our parents were at loving and creating security in love, the better start we have. If that love is absent, then the search is on. We all search because we all know, inherently, that we are creatures of love. It is part of our DNA.

So much of what we do as young adults and teenagers is asking, “do you still love me?” If the answer appears to be “no,” then the search for “feeling loved” expands further. And if there is no model for being loved, the chance of picking up a counterfeit increases exponentially.

Although my father loved me, his age and alcoholism prevented him from being consistent. As a child, I forgave him everything (as children do), until he died when I was nine, and my heart interpreted that as the greatest betrayal of love ever. My mother, handicapped by her own losses and mental instabilities, did the best she could, but her love always seemed to carry a proviso, a burden, a condition.

So, I performed well to merit love, from her, from my friends, from the men in my life. I became an expert chameleon, the consummate actress in life as well as on the stage. Theater and acting seemed like the perfect solution: applause equaled love. All the while asking, am I worth loving now?

Even when I met God in Christ, I was still programmed to perform and earn love. I worked through the motions and the rules. I went to church. I married a Christian man. I wore Jesus jewelry and talked the Jesus talk. I lifted up my hands at the right times and depending on the setting, I danced and swayed.

Similar to the Verizon commercial, my heart would say, “Do you love me now?”

But with each year of performing, the mistakes piled up as well. There was that inner critique, the reviewer whose assessment was always harsh and blistering.

When was the release moment? I can’t really say. I think it started when I learned about “performance-orientation” from Elijah House. And then, from there, a counselor helped me accept the truth of Romans 8:1 (Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus . . . ). And eventually, I came to really believe God loved me, failures, disappointments, and all.

And only then, I will truthfully say, did my journey to love God back begin in earnest. Only then, did I understand and experience freedom in my faith.

And what does loving God look like? I’m pretty sure it’s loving others and letting them love me. Today. I’ll start with today.

(Fast Day 2)

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Power of Three

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on November 7, 2010| 2 Comments »

Apparently, there are at least three tools for breaking the potency of bitterness, anger and slander that grieve the Holy Spirit (and others): kindness, compassion and forgiveness. And in fact, I believe it’s the marriage of kindness and compassion that makes forgiveness possible.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Too often, we think of a kindness as polite niceties. Instead, I think it’s a choice to act in a way that is independent of the circumstances. Kindness is a habit, well-formed.

I’ve been reading a 2010 book by N.T. [Tom] Wright called “After You Believe” in which the good professor is putting forth the foundations for virtue and thereby, character. In the early chapters, he talks about the natural response to circumstances as being the evidence of virtue. And isn’t kindness one of these? We shouldn’t have to think about being kind.

The power of kindness became so popular at one point, there were bumper stickers and a Foundation advocating more kindness, just for the heck of it. And yet, it’s not really the norm for us.

And compassion? This requires an awareness of Other in a specific way. To express compassion, we must see, hear, and feel something of the Other. Without a relationship of some kind, I believe it’s only kindness. Compassion is the next level and implies a doing or a response to remedy the situation.

If kindness is touching someone’s hand, then compassion is putting something in the hand.

The two together create the perfect environment for forgiveness.

The father who forgives the drunk driver who killed his daughter, found compassion and kindness first. I met Jeffrey Vetter and the young man, Michael Jacoby, who drove the car.

Forgiveness must be fueled with something, and is not efficacious with words alone. The heart must be engaged because it is the heart that is healed.
(Fast Day 1)

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Grieving the Holy Spirit

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2010| 5 Comments »

This phrase about grieving the Holy Spirit has always jumped out at me. Reverend Spurgeon said, back in 1859, that causing grief touches even the hardest hearts. But today, for the first time, I linked the cause directly to my mouth.

Ephesians 4:29-30a
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God . . .

This revelation really clenches it for me: I must include “unconscious talking” into my fast.

I can just imagine the Holy Spirit within me, covering ears and thinking, “I can’t believe she really said that!” And then, crying. Doesn’t crying go along with grief?

Sometimes, there is anger too, and disappointment. There is helplessness in grief, because there isn’t much one can do to change the situation. And with grief, there is pain.

When a person is sorrowing, it is because of loss. And in that loss, there is love. But it’s love that is cut off, stopped, quenched, unresolved, blocked. . . for whatever reason.

So, whenever I speak out-of-hand, or gossip, or judge, there is a loss that happens there too. I am inching further away from my center where the Holy Spirit dwells. And the Holy Spirit is calling, reaching out to me, warning me, crying for me, whispering to me, but I am too focused on the outpouring.

Unlike fasting from food, which is relatively easy since the body is pretty good about reminding me about three to four times a day, “Hey, didn’t you forget something? Food! I need food!” But to fast from blabbing is more difficult. There won’t be any help for this one. It will be about mindfulness. It will be about “practicing the presence” of God. It will be about thinking before I speak. It will be about slowing down. It will be about listening.

And maybe, just maybe, if I can submit to this discipline, even for a short while, I will hear the angels singing after all.

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Truth for the Body

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Here’s an idea: every time I tell a lie, it does harm to the Body of Christ. That Body requires truth. And anything less diminishes it. Either I have a corporate corporeal responsibility or not. I’ve managed to minimalize the impact. It’s so big after all. Well, time to think again.

Ephesians 4:25
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Another image that comes to mind is one of those psychology experiments in college where small electric shocks are given to someone else based on the subject’s (my) answers or failures (or whatever the testing might entail). If I could see or feel the impact on this “Body,” would I act differently? If I had a chart of the body and every time I sinned or lied or cheated, a red dot representing pain in some other region or area of the Body would light up. Would I stop?

I know that’s silly, but really, am I a unique part of this larger Body or not? And does my place in it make any difference?

Telling the truth is the hardest of all really. I lie with my lips and I lie in my mind. I lie to others (sometimes masked in halves or exaggeration) and I lie to myself.

Sometimes, I get another crazy picture in my head like I’m standing at the “pearly gates” and, as I have been forewarned [Romans 14:12], I begin to give an account of my life. When I get to the lies part of the list, It’s so long, I end up in some kind of purgatory (waiting tank) after all.

Have I placed ALL the lies under the covering of the blood sacrifice? Have I stopped telling them? Really?

I will probably never get very good at the “not telling lies” part. Some of this is my quick mouth and some of it is the way I think and blab at the same time. I sometimes don’t even “hear” something until I say it. This leaves on option for me: silence. Not speaking. Also difficult, but probably a better choice for the sake of the Body.

I am planning another fast. I do these on occasion but this time, it’s as a result of my previous days’ revelations about the superficiality of the “old self” and the power of sensuality to rule. I’m thinking that food and unrelenting appetite fit into the same drama (not just sexuality and violence). And today, I can add lies and too much talking into the mix. Can I fast from so much talking? Something to consider.

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