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Posts Tagged ‘God journey’

A Thinking God

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 6, 2013| Leave a Comment »

grieving angel“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
    declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” [Isaiah 55:8-9]

Here’s the difference. When you and I “think,” it’s just an opinion or point of view or perhaps a bit of problem solving. When God thinks, things come into being or mountains move. The answer to the question, “what is God thinking” is incomprehensible to humans. Maybe, “what are You making?” would be better. I get some solace from my faith in a blueprint. Some.

We’ve gotten too casual with God. Perhaps it’s part of the new informal culture where jeans are always acceptable and language has become various letters of the alphabet. YKWIM? We want the “thumbs up” Jesus. We don’t want to be afraid of God so we make God cozy and grandfatherly.

And although a relationship with God can be warm and intimate and full of mercy, there is a point when God basically says, “because I said so.” And this moment needs to be accepted with the same surrender as “cootchy, cootchy, coo.” A creator has the ability and the right to destroy or alter or remake the object. “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?”[Romans 9:20]

Lately, some terribly difficult circumstances have dropped into the lives of my colleagues and friends: several people have been diagnosed with cancer or had serious surgeries, a couple of people have been on dialysis for over a year, and now a 3 1/2 year old child died just three days after being diagnosed with T-Cell leukemia.The child’s death has been the most difficult of all.

It’s hard to avoid the gripe, “what is God thinking?” Is there a satisfactory answer in my world? Not really.

I understand intellectually. Each journey is different. And although I have come to a peace about my friend Mary dying from pancreatic cancer and how I admire her as she embraces this new path in her life odyssey, the bottom drops out of my confidence, when it’s a child. The grief is heavy, the weight of a family’s loss is palpable.

It’s not the first time I’ve witnessed the agony. Some years ago, I went to a viewing of a baby who had died of SIDS. The mother was so distraught that she pulled the lifeless, embalmed child from the coffin and carried her around the room of the funeral chapel. She was inconsolable. And there was nothing to say.

Every step of faith in the face of pain and trauma and sorrow, is an excursion into the mind of Christ, a dance with the Holy Spirit, a siege at the entrance of the “holy of holies.” But the answer is always the same, “God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, God’s ways are not my ways.”

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Creation Story & Me

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 30, 2012| 3 Comments »

Based on Genesis 1:1-31

Here’s what I’m thinking: there is a pattern to the creation story that can be replicated in my own spiritual renewal journey. The one I started yesterday. Again. Of course, each day is a new journey and each valley makes for a different trek up the next mountain. I know that. But for the sake of reflection, here’s what I picked up from the 7 day model.

Day One: Light, or discovery. See Renewal and Light post. It’s when a person realizes that something has to change.

Day Two: Separation (like light & darkness, water & sky). It’s really a way to get some order out of chaos. This will be my next challenge and it would be lovely if it would only take a day, but I’m thinking I’ll be at this stage for awhile. Everything got away from me and it’s time to do some sorting: save, toss, or give away. Those are the choices.

Day Three: Growth. Once there’s a little order, then there’s breathing space for growth (vegetation started on this day) and I can see how important it will be to build on what I discover.

Day Four: Time and Milestones. When God placed the sun and the moon and the stars, in my mind, these became a type of measurement. Time was established and the rhythms of life. And so it is in a time of renewal. As there is growth, then there need to be milestones and landmarks along the way. That’s the way I’ll be able to remember. It’s important to mark the time.

Day Five: Multiplication. This is interesting to me that the multiplication part actually starts before the big Kahuna was created (human beings). So, that means, that while I am growing and marking my development, I will also be multiplying “self.” That is, the self that I am becoming, the learnings, the developments, the comprehension, and maybe, if I can sustain this journey, the wisdom.

Day Six: Human (in God’s image). That’s huge. True humanity is true holiness and godliness. I’d love to think I could “arrive” at human one day, but instead, I know, there are only glimpses on this side of heaven (as it were). But there are moments and in those moments, there is love and kindness and generosity and thoughtfulness and patience and transparency and selflessness and yes, even sacrifice. That is Human to which God wants us to aspire.

Day Seven: Rest. Selah (pause and calmly think about that).

And then start all over again. Thanks God for taking me along this way again. Thanks for giving me a “Way” to you. You laid it out even before you sent the Christ.

Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

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Doing what is Good

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2011| 3 Comments »

Book by Sheena Iyengar

Here is the duality of living and walking the faith: first there is the inner journey, bringing the life within into the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit; then, secondly, the outer journey, walking out the behaviors of the Way and choosing to “do good.”

Titus 2:6-7a
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. . . .

I wish this dual walk was more linear. You know, get the inner life in order and only then, venture out into the world. But it’s not like that. We must live in both worlds at the same time and apply what is learned within along the way. I suppose the ideal is reaching a point when the inner and outer lives are meshed into one and they operate seamlessly. Good is no longer a choice but a state of being. God is good.

Instead, I must remain conscious and aware; I must choose to be good.

The other day, I went to the optician to order new glasses after several years of wearing the same frames. To be honest, the idea of changing my appearance so drastically was a little daunting. I even thought about bringing a friend or one of my teenagers to help me pick out the frames. But then, I knew, if I did that, I would muddy the waters of my decision-making. Fortunately, I had the best optician. He helped me pick a small group of frames, six or so. Then, I sat down and he presented me with two. Between those two, I had to choose one. And so forth, from one pair of choices to the next. It was hard but doable.

And then it occurred to me this morning that “doing good” is very similar. I can’t make a global choice to do good, but as my day unveils, I can handle choosing between two possibilities.

Our culture overwhelms us with the cereal aisle of choices and it’s difficult to know which way and which one. Many in the current generation of teens and twenty-somethings are frozen by the panorama of options. They live in a country where anything is possible, or at least, this is what they have been taught. But they haven’t been taught how to choose along the way.

I am no better. Historically, I have been a “Jill of all trades” and the master of none.

Today, I will bring the array down to a manageable level. And as I look at those choices today, I will ask myself, which one is good.

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Joy in the Faith

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2010| 6 Comments »

What is joy? Do I know by experiencing it or is it merely a concept, a word that we Christians use carelessly and even assume it’s a given: we should be feeling joy or manifesting joy or understanding joy. Right?

Philippians 1:22a, 24-25
If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. . . . but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith . . .

After all, this is the season when we all say and sing, “joy to the world.” What does it mean? It’s a wish and a blessing, I understand that. But what does this kind of joy look like? Am I capable of recognizing joy? In myself? In others? In the world?

When will I know joy is here?

Some people define joy as “lasting happiness” or a “state of happiness.” Joy in this definition is pleasure then, and gaiety, delight or even satisfaction.

But Paul is talking about joy as something that can grow incrementally. Nehemiah [8:10] says “. . . the joy of the Lord is your strength” while Psalm 16:11 says “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence,. . . .”

Joy and faith work together, as well as joy and strength. These are birthed through Christ as we accept that Spirit within. It’s part of becoming a follower of Christ and a believer. To believe in that Holy Spirit life within is to count on the outcomes. According to Paul, the process of growing joy, faith, and strength are part of the journey and we can count on it.

Our culture is constantly presenting alternatives to this kind of joy. Usually, it’s about the stuff. All the commercials show us: this car will make you happy, this flat screen television will give you hours of delight, these clothes will enhance your feelings of beauty and contentment. Even though we all know these feelings are fleeting, we get sucked into the message. This way is the “wide gate” {Matthew 7:13].

I want joy, true joy. I want it to grow inside me like a time lapse flower unfolding within me.

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Live a Life of Love

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I have a friend whose life phrase is “live loved” which she has adopted from the God Journey folks. It deeply resonates because of its simplicity and promise that we are loved and called to do the same for others.

Ephesians 5:2-3
Be imitators of God, a therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It’s a two way process actually, but substantially begins with being loved (or recognizing that we are loved). Usually, we experience this love first as small children in the home. The better our parents were at loving and creating security in love, the better start we have. If that love is absent, then the search is on. We all search because we all know, inherently, that we are creatures of love. It is part of our DNA.

So much of what we do as young adults and teenagers is asking, “do you still love me?” If the answer appears to be “no,” then the search for “feeling loved” expands further. And if there is no model for being loved, the chance of picking up a counterfeit increases exponentially.

Although my father loved me, his age and alcoholism prevented him from being consistent. As a child, I forgave him everything (as children do), until he died when I was nine, and my heart interpreted that as the greatest betrayal of love ever. My mother, handicapped by her own losses and mental instabilities, did the best she could, but her love always seemed to carry a proviso, a burden, a condition.

So, I performed well to merit love, from her, from my friends, from the men in my life. I became an expert chameleon, the consummate actress in life as well as on the stage. Theater and acting seemed like the perfect solution: applause equaled love. All the while asking, am I worth loving now?

Even when I met God in Christ, I was still programmed to perform and earn love. I worked through the motions and the rules. I went to church. I married a Christian man. I wore Jesus jewelry and talked the Jesus talk. I lifted up my hands at the right times and depending on the setting, I danced and swayed.

Similar to the Verizon commercial, my heart would say, “Do you love me now?”

But with each year of performing, the mistakes piled up as well. There was that inner critique, the reviewer whose assessment was always harsh and blistering.

When was the release moment? I can’t really say. I think it started when I learned about “performance-orientation” from Elijah House. And then, from there, a counselor helped me accept the truth of Romans 8:1 (Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus . . . ). And eventually, I came to really believe God loved me, failures, disappointments, and all.

And only then, I will truthfully say, did my journey to love God back begin in earnest. Only then, did I understand and experience freedom in my faith.

And what does loving God look like? I’m pretty sure it’s loving others and letting them love me. Today. I’ll start with today.

(Fast Day 2)

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Miracles–A Grace

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , on September 17, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Miracles don’t follow known rules or laws. No one can “earn” or “learn” a miracle. They happen apart from ourselves. We can’t call on one or necessarily expect a miracle. We can’t recreate the circumstances or duplicate them. They are supernatural. So, how come they don’t work faith?

Galatians 3:5
Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?

It goes back to the remembering. In the moment of a miracle, everyone is astounded, in awe of what just happened. Belief is born. But then, after the miracle is over, things seem to go back to some kind of normal. The thousands fed one day are hungry the next. The blind man who could see again disappears into the crowd. The water turned into wine is consumed.

Miracles are just another form of grace. Like mercy, no one is really worthy of a miracle. It’s a gift. And like children who get loaded with presents on Christmas morning, they lose their novelty over time, and often a very short time.

Faith is built up on relationship not miracles.

When my husband and I met, that was a miracle. But our marriage could not be built on our chance meeting and whirlwind engagement. Or, when we were saved from harm in a terrible car accident, or when we received anonymous money in the mail to pay our bills, or when our children were presented to us for adoption.

All miracles are turning points and crossroads: we can choose, from that point forward, which way to go. But faith itself is in the journey that follows.

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Stand Firm, Hold Fast

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on July 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

There is a piece of my journey that rests strictly with me: standing firm and holding fast. It’s the “free will” part of the plan. I must choose to stand as long as I am able, to stand with faith by holding fast to the One who promises there is good reason to do it.

I Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

If there is no world or realm outside of this three-dimensional one, if there is no changed body, if there is no kingdom where love is the norm and sin is untenable, then really, what is the point?

It’s all about the kingdom of heaven, really. Jesus is the door, the long-awaited door, by the way. He came and left with us the keys to the kingdom. He showed us “the way.”

The way is still there but continues to be an obstacle course. As a people, we allow the vines and briers to grow over and along the path just like the hedge of Sleeping Beauty’s castle. Or, we are seduced to go the easier way at the crossroads. Or, we have lost the tools to cut down the vines, like the sword of truth.

This path should not be one of pride (as though my being on the path is something extraordinary). I’m just fortunate to have had a glimpse of it. But I am pretty sure it is most difficult to traverse the long journey alone. I keep trying to do this alone. I confess it; I know it. This is the primary reason for “church,” a team to travel together. But I don’t always feel like we’re on the same path.

Christianity is filled with paradox. And this is what I need to understand. Probably, the way that is least likely, is the way to go. The people who are least likely to help, are probably the guides.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. [Matthew 7:14]

This is the cause for the narrowness, the paradox and the sins of the nations.

Oh yes, I must stand firm this day, to stand in my faith that there is a way and I am on it. I must also hold fast to the hem of his garment [Matthew 9:21], and I will be able to stay on the path. There are indeed, “lions & tigers & bears, oh my” [Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz], but I believe in a Christ who will never leave me or forsake me [Hebrews 13:5].

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