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On Perseverance 4

I’m really hard on myself. I mean, I can really give myself a pretty brutal lashing for mistakes I’ve made or wrong decisions or bad behavior. It was not until a few years ago that I realized how much of this self-attack is a type of condemnation.

While working through our Having a Mary Heart in Martha World study, we came across this quote which is quite apropos, in which the “enemy” tries to convinces us, before we become followers of Christ, that we don’t need a savior, and then after we commit to Him, the littany changes and the script we hear in our heads is that we do not “deserve” a savior. All, not true!

Instead of spending a lot of time rummaging through our sins, I think it’s more productive to put some energy into reviewing the times that went right. When was God present? When did we respond to His call? When did we stay the course despite obstacles? Let us be encouraged by our own histories. These very stories may help us as we face the next challenge.

The elements we have learned about from II Peter 1:3-11 over these past weeks grow stronger with use and practice: faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control and now perseverance. “…for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.” II Tim 1:12b

On Perseverance 3

There is a perseverance that comes with our roles in life. As parents, we must be steadfast in our desire to train up our children or our failure to persevere will affect them adversely. For instance, to teach a toddler simple courtesies like “please” and “thank you” takes, at minimum, 10,000 repetitions. Think how many more repetitions it takes for other fundamentals of living.

But for the sake of their ability to survive and thrive, we do it. We tell them again and again and again. Hopefully, we also model these behaviors… and model our faith.

Perseverance is not just for us. We must remember that we are all intertwined in a great fabric. Our children, our grandchildren, our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our neighbors and so on, are impacted by our actions, our decisions, our beliefs.

So, now, what do we do in the face our failures? What do we do when we realize we have not persevered? I say, “we begin again.” It is never too late. In God’s eyes, there is no time. We can always start over. God can redeem anything and everything. Perseverance includes beginnings.

On Perseverance 2

Sometimes we have to back into this process. What I mean is that there are times when circumstances drop into our lives and we are faced with learning perseverance the hard way. It can be done, but it’s not God’s best for us.

For instance, you might become ill with a serious disease that will take months or even years to battle. If you have not built on the phases Peter lays out in II Peter 1:5-7, you will probably discover that you must go back and pull them into the equation. If you want to live, you’ll do whatever it takes. And so, you endure. But as you endure, you discover you must control yourself, your anger, your frustrations. Careening emotions do not help the process. And then, you discover that the more you know about your disease and how others have handled it, the more knowledge you have, the more understanding you have of your circumstances, the stronger you feel. And then, you may find a desire to share that knowledge with others in the same situation. You may actually find that you feel better when you reach out beyond yourself and “do some good.” And finally, your faith in God is re-kindled!

And then, you head back up the chain and you are amazed to discover that you are stronger in each area and you are able to endure another day … another hour … another minute.

I discovered some of this backward/forward movement when Mike and I were in the adoption process for Lily. Being steadfast in our determination to adopt her was foisted upon us for a full two years. We did not go gently into this period of perseverance!

Perhaps it’s more accurate to call this process cyclical. It wasn’t a straight path from faith to virtue to knowledge to self-control to perseverance for me … it felt more like a circle and often there were times when I felt like I was on a race track going round and round and round with no progress; suddenly, a ramp would open up and we would be on another level. Yes, it was still going round and round but the view was different, the road was different, the goal was more clearly in sight, and the fire of hope was fanned into flame again.

On Perseverance 1

Here’s what comes to mind before anything else: the tortoise and the hare. This story has, by far, gotten the most mileage in my life… I suppose it’s because I’m the hare trying to learn the lesson of the tortoise. There are lots of spiritual applications, but perseverance is the dominant one. It’s the slow, methodical tortoise who holds fast to his goal. All of the circumstances and “common sense” say that he will lose the race and yet he wins. He’s good for the long haul. He knows how to keep on going no matter what. This is just one more paradox in Christianity and all true.

And let us not forget, this perseverance is grounded in the other elements of our plan to not fall away: self-control, knowledge, virtue & faith. I’m thinking that some of us “hares” are trying to do the perseverance dance without the grounding of the other elements.

On Self-Control 3

What is it that controls me? Unfortunately, I often feel as though I am blown about by a wind… a great hurricane that pummels me about quite a bit depending on my circumstances … and that is NOT God’s best for me.

Self-control should be a steadying force within that gives me the strength I need to withstand and weather what life throws at me. Instead, my self-control is often undermined by my emotions. They are my “old friends” who have laid claim to a big space in my heart. They are squatters. They have been in residence so long that I don’t know what it would be like in there without them. They are using old scripts. They have become a habit.

That’s not to say that there are not good days when I am anchored to His Spirit. But it requires a discipline to be mindful of it. This is part of my current journey… I am working on being more present in the moment… more present in Christ. I know, when I am conscious and “fully connected to the vine,” my emotions do not run free.

I think this is the whole point, learning how to be “spirit-controlled.” That’s the ultimate in self-control.

On Self-Control 2

Pastor Craig selected Titus 2:11-14 for our meditation today and I could barely get passed the first verse, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “no”…” I was caught by an idea, as we move toward doing good (the virtue piece of our plan in II Peter 1:3-11), I believe the opposite energy begins as well. Some people might call that Satan’s work, but no matter what you call the phenomenon, once you head out to do good, there is a force of darkness at work to send you back the other way.

I have always assumed that this was where “my role” in the process had to kick in. If I was a true Christian, then I should be able to overcome these temptations. I should be able to say “no,” especially after all that the Lord has done for me. And when I failed, I lost heart… I lost my forward momentum. Perhaps I wouldn’t go back, but I wouldn’t go forward either.

I have never thought about the power of “grace” to halt the negative flow or pressure. In essence, I am seeing grace as “having my back” now while I’m moving forward. Grace is the true power behind “self-control.” Grace is the fuel. Grace is applied without judgment. Grace is full of mercy and understanding. But never forget, Grace is is also full of power!

I can’t help but think of the Irish Blessing from St. Patrick (and with each mention of Christ, I think of Grace):

Christ be with me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ in me
Christ beneath me
Christ above me
Christ on my right
Christ on my left
Christ where I lie
Christ where I sit
Christ where I arise
Christ in the heart of every man
who thinks of me
Christ in the mouth of every man
who speaks of me
Christ in every eye that sees me
Christ in every ear that hears me
Salvation is of the Lord.

On Self-Control 1

It’s interesting to me that self-control is the 4th leg of this journey for sustaining our faith over the long haul. This bears some comment in my mind that you must have your faith, then your virtue or ability to “do good” and then knowledge to understand the why of it all and only then, is true self-control possible.

This is a key for me right now, today. You see, I suffer terribly from lack of self-control … that is, self-control of the right type. Over the years, I have confused self-control with “control” in general. In other words, I try to control my environment and the people in my environment as a substitute for controlling myself. This is not God’s best plan for me (or for the poor souls that are entangled with me – e.g. my family).

I think things are getting better. One way I have learned to enter this process is by taking a “holy inventory” each day. During my devotion time, right after praising God for “who He is,” I speak the scripture outloud, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and and know my thoughts! And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” [Psalm 139:23-24] and as God reveals those moments in the past 24 hours that were displeasing to Him, that were sin, that were out of control, I ask for His forgiveness. This is a cleansing time allows me to move on.