Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

Seeking Redemption

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 10:43
“…All the prophets testify about him [the Messiah] that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” [Peter speaking to the gentile family of Cornelius]

My daughter is in English 12 and apparently, most of these classes are reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (a wonderful book in my estimation) and I was looking forward to discussing it with her. What was striking to me was her lack of mercy… in the sense that she and her class spent a lot of time discussing the lead character’s flaw/mistake and how he spent the rest of the book “seeking redemption.” In her mind, there was no true redemption possible: his boyhood friend was dead and gone. That was his burden to bear.

Two things came to mind as we were talking. First and foremost, of course, as a believer, is that this is the whole point of the Messiah, Christ Jesus, the great redeemer. No sin is too great that it can’t be covered by the blood and promise of the Christ.

But secondly was the realization that very few teenagers have experienced something in their lives, so horrible, so wrenching that they would need to search with all their hearts for the peace of forgiveness and redemption. They cannot imagine making such a huge mistake that someone would die or be permanently injured or lost. There is no room for true mercy and grace.

I am also reminded of an old friend whose husband broke their marriage covenant and had an affair. She, too, was unable to extend forgiveness or grace. And all I could think was that someday it would be she, herself, who might face her own unthinkable sin or crime. Then she would be the one who needed redemption.

In fact, we are all capable of great sin. We are fooling ourselves to think that we couldn’t act selfishly in the face of difficult circumstances.

Naturally, people may also act nobly. I am not saying that we, as humans, always choose the evil way. There are many who have lost their own lives or lived sacrificially. But I think they are able to do this because they have faced the truth of themselves.

For many years, I have never felt comfortable praying the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” I just couldn’t identify with this concept of calling myself a sinner… what had I really done so bad.

But now, the longer I am a follower of Jesus, I see the truth within. I am no better than any other. My sin is no less than another person’s sin. Even Paul bemoaned this state in Romans 7:19, “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”

Oh yes, I am in need of a redeemer. I am in need of forgiveness and mercy and grace every day. My sin is too great for me to carry alone.

Read Full Post »

A Gift Cannot Be Bought

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 8:18-19
When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

Poor Simon… he just didn’t get it. Here he had been following Philip and the other new Samaritan believers around and he was happy as a clam. That is, until Peter and John show up and take the next step… praying for the Holy Spirit to come upon those new believers.

Something dramatic must have happened. We are not told what. It could have been the speaking in other tongues as with the disciples, it could have been tongues of fire or wind or just an outpouring of great power. We will never know. But we do know that Simon the former sorcerer was impressed and all his old habits and desires and power came into play. Everything in him was saying, “gotta have it.”

He did not realize that this laying on of hands was a gift. It was a gift that came with devotion. It was a gift that only the Giver could choose to give or not give. And so, Simon made a mistake and lusted for it.

I have made Simon’s mistake. I have coveted the giftings of others. I have wished for the ministries of others. I have dreamed of God using me as a healer or a prophet. I have inwardly negotiated for more power.

God forgive me.

The old ways die hard. One of my besetting sins is a desire for fame. Generally, I have that well covered by grace. But there are days when it slips out like a little demon and sits on my shoulder spouting long monologues about recognition, notoriety, success and fans! Like the love of money, fame corrupts the soul.

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Read Full Post »

Asking God to Forgive

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 7:59-60a
While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

Interesting that Stephen does not say, “I forgive them,” but asked, as Jesus did, that the Lord God forgive them. There is a fine line difference and it’s worth noting, I think.

I’m guessing Stephen never held anything against them in the first place. From the get-go, he was able to keep their “issues” separate from his own. But to pray to God and ask Him to forgive one’s adversaries is proof of a higher concern: that their actions would not block them from eternal things.

Hmm. I’m a long way from this place, this higher level of forgiveness. I’m still struggling with the one on one type. Maybe I should try this God forgiveness first. Would looking at the difficult relationships in my life through the eternal eyes of God give me new personal perspective? Perhaps the little irritations would be less irritating. Perhaps the memories would be less vivid. Perhaps the patterns would finally break.

Have I secretly hoped that God would take on my banner of revenge? Romans 12:19 does say that God will avenge. Have I been playing a game of extending personal forgiveness while hoping all the while that my magnanimity would heap burning coals on the heads of my “enemies?”

Oh, secret heart, look what peeling away some layers has revealed. Forgive me… and yes, forgive them… the list is long, but you know them all… my friends, my colleagues, my staff, my neighbors, my family, my customers, my classmates, my church, my students, my politicians, my leaders, my relatives, my strangers… who am I to say that my feelings, my pain, my fears, and my disappointments must be avenged? Who am I to say?

Read Full Post »

Jealousy: A Drag on Momentum

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 5:17
Then the high priest and all his associates, who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy.

There’s nothing like momentum or success to bring out jealousy. If only I could say I know this by observation and persecution. Instead, I know jealousy personally–shameful, but true.

Jealousy starts out with envy. It starts out rather innocently perhaps, “oh look what they bought, have, can do” and “gee, I wish I could afford that, get that or do what they can do.” There is a longing that settles in, depending on the amount of energy given to it. And out of the longing, an obsession with others’ gains, and eventually, resentment finds a foothold and builds exponentially.

It’s bad enough that envy and jealousy are fed on a personal level: house, car, job, friends, wealth, clothes, youth, body, athletic abilities, artistic abilities, mastery, etc. But it becomes really sordid when it’s on an organization level, or worse, on a national or international level.

There are church pastors and church goers who become envious of other churches, either their attendance, their notoriety, their leadership, or even their music. There is something dreadfully wrong with this picture.

Isn’t that just the foot being envious of the hand… of course the hand can do more… it was designed that way. But where is the commitment to what the foot can do?

And so, the foot keeps dragging on the hand: “not so fast,” “that’s not how we’ve done it in the past,” “we can’t do it that way,” “we’ve never seen that before,” “who gave you the authority to do all that ‘hand’ stuff?” Sometimes, the “foot” worries that all that attention to the “hand” will suck up all the resources.

But is that how God works? Nope.

The more we give, the more we receive. We cannot outgive God… that goes for money, energy, ideas, activity, healing, blessings and even, success.

Today I ask forgiveness for my jealous and envious heart. Today, I am going to be the best foot I can be. Today, I will speak blessings to the momentum of others. Today, I stop holding others back. Today, I set the captive free. Today I become a a true cheerleader for others.

Read Full Post »

Lying to the Holy Spirit

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 5:3a
Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit…”

Whoa! Ananias is not the only one who is doing this. Oh forgiving God, be merciful to me.

These are the dangerous internal lies, the lies to myself. These are the lies that no one may ever know I have said or thought. These are the traps within that prevent me from having an unfettered relationship with God.

Give or don’t give, but don’t pretend to give.

In my mind, Ananias and Sapphira held back some of the money and laid the rest at the Apostles’ feet for several reasons: to appear totally committed to the gathered believers, to copy Barnabas, and to protect their personal interests. In the end, it was a lack of trust.

Forgive me for holding back a tithe for fear of not having enough to pay bills… forgive me saying I will help someone and then not show up… forgive me for saying I will pray for someone and then not do it… forgive me for justifying my mistakes and passing the blame to others in my mind… forgive me for lying to the Holy Spirit.

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord … [Psalm 130:3-6a]

Thanks be to God.

Read Full Post »

Stop and Turn Away

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 2:37b-38
“Brothers, what shall we do?” [the crowd] Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit…”

Repent. It’s become such an inaccessible word over the years. It’s like a joke. How many times have we seen caricatures of “preachers” holding up a bible and shaking it over the crowd: “Repent you sinners!” Who can even hear the real message anymore?

And yet, it’s exactly “repent” that is the core to change. Repent is not just a religious term, it’s a personal experience. It’s a choice. Change… for good or evil… cannot happen without choice.

Personally, I find myself bemoaning over the same sins every day: gossip and judging others (to name two of the most popular). Both are extraordinarily nasty sins and I am ashamed to confess them. But the point here is that shedding these sins is not just about confession and the receiving of forgiveness… there is a point where I must “stop” and do something else instead.

Once, in counseling session some years ago, I was crying over these and other “besetting” sins (as though they have a mind and life of their own) and how I struggled with them. In the end, the revelation was simple: “I didn’t want it badly enough” … I didn’t want to change enough. I didn’t want to stop enough. The benefits of continuing were still outweighing the unknown of stopping. Who would I be if I stop this behavior? Who would I be if I change?

So often, people (including me) are more comfortable with our current state because it’s a “known.” But to change or “repent” means we are moving into an unknown territory. We are pioneering into a future we cannot predict. Fear, doubt, insecurities, anxiety also jump into the fray.

I am a bit of a hypocrite. I say I like change, but really, I mean change around me… I can adapt to that kind of change. But, I’m different when it comes to my own behaviors. Those changes are much easier to avoid.

So, today, one challenge: stop and turn away from gossip. If what I say cannot be said with the person standing there beside me, it shouldn’t be said. End of story.

Read Full Post »

Akeldama

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 1:19
And all the residents of Jerusalem became acquainted with the facts [about Judas], so that they called the piece of land in their own dialect–Akeldama, that is, Field of Blood.

The Field of Blood was also called the Potter’s Field because some believed it to be the same place that Jeremiah visited the potter. “So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” [Jeremiah 18:3-4]

Akeldama was used as a burial ground for “foreigners,” for strangers, and for betrayers. This is one of the hardest truths in the Bible for me: some people are destined for evil, some are destined to be buried in the Field of Blood, some are destined to be a marred pot.

God integrates evil into our lives and from these experiences, we grow, we change, we adapt, and we learn. These are the hard lessons of life. But what of the one who is the tool of evil?

Is there a moment in that life when he/she has a choice? Can this destiny be aborted by faith? Can the one turn and cry out for mercy? Or is the the mercy extended only after the fact? Is it forgiveness that brings a destiny of evil around to hope?

I don’t know the answers.

From my few years working with a potter’s wheel, I know a pot can be re-fashioned with the same clay… but only up to a point. Eventually, the clay becomes hard, unwieldy and unusable. Usually, a potter will not throw out the clay until it’s hopeless.

Keep me pliable today. Give me mindfulness toward those who struggle with their destinies, that they might turn before Akeldama becomes an unavoidable fate.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »