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Posts Tagged ‘Holy Spirit’

Whom Do I Fear?

Posted in Praying the Psalms, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2013| Leave a Comment »

The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?  [Psalm 27:1, NIV]

Antelope Canyon, Wikipedia Commons

Antelope Canyon, Wikipedia Commons

Three words drove my prayers from this verse: light, stronghold, and fear.

There are so many different kinds of light but they all get similar results: they transform the appearance of a place or thing by illuminating it. Light pushes back darkness. Light is often a reflection of energy. “God is light, and in God, there no darkness at all.” [I John 1:5] Light reveals things that are hidden. Light is no respecter of persons. Light does not judge, Light is.

And apparently, the presence of Light (the Light) gives confidence against the people, situations or causes I might fear.

A stronghold is best described as a fortified place which has been created as the best (and often the last) line of defense. It is like safe within a bank or a tower within a castle. It is built with defense and safety in mind. This, then, is within me as well. There is a location within me that is protected by the Holy Spirit. This place cannot be breached without permission, an open door or window, opened from within. This is where God’s Spirit dwells in tandem with my own spirit.

But fear is also a strong word and it manifests most often through people. It is unfortunate how often I engage people (and my fear) before I engage my place of strength within or before I shed the Light on the situation. This task is to be done daily, hourly, and even minute by minute. Some people call it centering.

I want to stop “reacting” and simply be fully in the moment and allow that moment to be what it is and me to be who I am in Christ. That’s one of the reasons why it’s called “the peace that passes understanding.” That place is not always apparent if I don’t practice being there.

It is prayer from the place of strength. It is prayer of abandon and trust. It is authentic and transparent.

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The Lord Will Hear

Posted in Praying the Psalms, tagged , , , , , , on August 5, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Psalm 4

trustThis Psalm begins, ” Answer me when I call to you . . . Give me relief from my distress. . . have mercy on me and hear my prayer.”

How often have I cried out in this way: Do Something! Anything!

It’s a kind of command and a kind of plea. The words carry a feeling of desperation as though God has not been answering, has not given relief, has not been merciful, and has not heard any of my prayers. Not true, of course. I know it, but when I am overwhelmed, I feel abandoned by God, alone, and sometimes, even drowning.

In these moments, it is the critical time to stop and think and consider. Am I child of God or not? Have I surrendered my soul to God or not? Do I believe God is in this life of mine or not? No matter what I might have said or done to get myself here, is God still sovereign?

When I am unwilling to pray, I do the greatest damage to myself. I can convince myself that God is not listening, why bother? I can display my life and use it as evidence that God does not answer. I can choose to embrace the arguments of the enemy to my spirit to deafen my ears, to blind my eyes, to dull my senses.

God hears my prayers if I speak them from the heart. Whether they are well spoken or not, desperate or not, flowery or not, God hears because I asked God to be in my life. I accepted the Presence of Christ’s Holy Spirit within me.

When my circumstances seem out of control, I must take a break and change up my image of prayer. It’s like pounding on a locked door, crying and anxious, while God is calling me to turn away, take a walk, take a breath, engage trust. Believe in the “answers” that come from the most unlikely places, that are far more creative than my requests.

I want to stop making my prayers a list of recommended solutions.

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Praying the Psalms

Posted in Praying the Psalms, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2013| 2 Comments »

I have been contemplating today how I will continue my path. I have just completed creating a six-week study of the Book of Ephesians in Bible lesson/question format; and as a result, I knew I wanted to spend some time in prayer and perhaps study prayer along the way, but how? I prefer grounding any of my efforts in scripture, no matter how far afield I may go along the way. The most logical place to start appeared to be the Psalms.

I didn’t want to simply start at Psalm 1 and plow through them one by one; instead I wanted the selections to more closely reflect my state of being that day or week. As a result, I have discovered a number of web sites that lay out the psalms by the church calendar (Book of Common Prayer Psalter), by topics, and by summary statements. I will begin with these, looking for revelation and, hopefully, an inner journey that will manifest in a more joyful, peaceful, and moderated outer life.

It is the Spirit I am pursuing in prayer. It is the Presence. It is an intimacy I believe is attainable; a listening place where direction is palpable and rooted in the holiness of God in Christ’s Spirit.

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Waiting in Christ

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on June 19, 2013| Leave a Comment »

waitingI usually berate myself when time and circumstances change my patterns. I think, “Oh no, I’ve dropped out of grace again and I’m sliding down the slippery slope of inattention to the things of God.” But am I?

You, however, should stand firm in the love of God, constructing a life within the holy faith, praying the Spirit’s prayer, as you wait eagerly for the mercy of our Lord Jesus the Anointed, which leads to eternal life. [Jude 1:20-21, Voice translation]

Always dreaming of a future life, I imagined so many things: the perfect family, the perfect job, fame, fortune, respect, and a certain level of material possessions (growing with each year, of course). I would be a deep thinker and a luminous communicator. I would be Job before the tragedies took everything away from him (see Job 29:13-25). But unlike Job, I wasn’t looking back on such a life, I looked forward, still hoping it would come, some breakthrough, some coming together of the stars, some magic.

I am reminded of my mother, who at 90, sorrowed and complained often, “What should I do with the rest of my life?” In some ways, it’s charming, this idea that anything could still happen. But I knew the truth of it, it was more about a certain disappointment in what was, what had been. The life she had lived was not the life she had dreamed.

Each life has a rhythm. We can live in that rhythm or go counterpoint to it. Each life has seasons. The seasons may be challenging or boring. They may be mundane or full of excitement. But I see clearly today, the time must be embraced for what it is and not for what it could be.

As a believer in the Christ Spirit within, this “being-ness” is even more critical because it is Spirit that sets the beat.

I am always looking for life to happen faster: either I’m trying to get through the tough spots quicker or leap over the boring spots. But if I can be centered in the unity of soul, in the marriage of my spirit with Christ, then, each moment counts again.

In Christ, that is the key. And anything else is kicking against the “goads” [Acts 26:14].

Waiting in Christ (in Spirit) is different than any other kind of waiting. It is not filled with expectations. It is not building pictures of the next moment or next year. It is rest and trust and confidence. It is “yes.”

So, what prevents me from becoming a slug, a beached whale? Waiting in Christ includes action, but God-breathed. In the Spirit place of waiting, God’s voice is clear and the next step certain.

Like the many paradoxes of faith, this is one more: waiting in Christ is the most active choice of all. It is the womb of miracles.

 

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God With Me

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2013| 3 Comments »

mustard-seedAnd that ‘s all I know right now. God is with me despite my inner chaos, despite my sense of loss, despite my confusion. God is with me even in the darkest night, the shallowest hope, the greatest disappointments. God is still here.

Have started a brief 30 day reading plan on behalf of my church, to encourage others to read. Funny, in the very midst of this, I am feeling very hollow. My muse is on vacation. My Spirit is quiet and I am deaf. And so, all I have is my mind to remind me, intellectually, God is here. (Matthew 1:22-23)

Yesterday, a friend posted on Facebook that he was feeling depressed. I told him to take a breath and go somewhere beautiful. I think I need to take my own advice. This morning, I woke early with only a few hours sleep. My dreams were vivid and then I was subsequently crestfallen to emerge into this reality.

And so, I see: I need my own rebirth, a baby Jesus to be born and start again, a babe of an idea: a mustard seed to renew my soul.

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Today

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 26, 2013| 1 Comment »

todayHave been asking God for some small revelation, some little nugget to feed my soul, but the days are crowded and cramped and my spirit self has been relegated to the back porch. It’s not a good thing. But I still have today.

Look at the grass growing over there. One day it’s thriving in the fields. The next day it’s being used as fuel. If God takes such good care of such transient things, how much more you can depend on God to care for you, weak in faith as you are. [Luke 12:28; The Voice translation]

It’s like a diet sometimes. I mess up and my tendency is to think, “I just blew it; might as well throw this entire day out and eat whatever!” It’s like I condemn myself and give permission to myself all in one fell swoop. Whose voice is that?

And yet, this day, I heard for the first time, begin again right now. Just take a breath and turn around. There is plenty of time; there is plenty of grace for this day yet.

I have been starving my soul. I have been shutting out the Holy Spirit from my daily decisions and directions. It’s like my inner self has been holding her breath.

It’s a good moment to begin again. It’s now. It’s today. Anything is possible.

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Bondage in Me

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2013| 3 Comments »

surrenderIt’s an unpleasant word: bondage. It brings up all kinds of lascivious images of chains and whips and leather. It’s the new interpretation of the word; it’s the culture in which we live. But in this case, it’s about slavery and compulsion and captivity. It is the antithesis to freedom.

During the time before you knew God, you were slaves to powers that are not gods at all. But now, when you are just beginning to know the one True God—actually, He is showing how completely He knows you—how can you turn back to weak and worthless idols made by men, icons of these spiritual powers? Haven’t you endured enough bondage to these breathless idols? [Galatians 4:8-9; The Voice translation]

And the phrase that I keep hearing is “haven’t you endured enough bondage . . . ” How much more do I need to experience before I finally set free from my old self, my old habits, my old way?

I have read that a body, once overweight, believes that higher weight is the norm. As a result, despite conscientious diet and exercise, the body will continue to betray and crave. It wants the old me back again: indulgent and insatiable.

Haven’t you endured enough? Haven’t I endured enough? I have.

I want everything that God has for me.

When I was just a baby believer, trying to figure out what it even meant to follow Christ and how it would change me . . . or, did I even want to change? No, not back then. Truthfully? I wanted everything to stay the same, just add in the Jesus bit. I thought I could treat Jesus like a spice, just sprinkle it on top. That is not how it works. Not really. And especially not if I say the words and surrender.

And I did. I waved the white flag back then and again and again and again. Each time, each year, a new surrender, a new discovery.

That’s been the journey; two steps forward, one step back. But I feel as though I am coming to a new place, a fork in my road, a new terrain. It’s like the last push before reaching the top of the mountain.

Ready.

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