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Posts Tagged ‘renewal’

Looking to My History

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on October 13, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 7:3
“Leave your country and your people,’ God said [to Abraham], ‘and go to the land I will show you.” [retold by Stephen]

All history has lessons and truth for us today, whether it is on a national, local or personal level. It is important to remember. It is important to tell the stories. It is important to learn from our histories. They put our present into perspective.

So much of who I am today is because of my past. Whether I like it or not, my decisions are all colored by my personal history. I cannot escape my past nor can I pretend these things did not happen.

The fact that my mother was the primary breadwinner and bi-polar while my aged father succumbed to alcoholism and died in my ninth year has colored every relationship I have ever had. Among other things, I learned from my mother fierce independence and self-preservation; from my father I carried away a distrust of men and a fear of abandonment. As a first generation American, I learned what it means to be “different” and an outsider. Growing up in a poor environment, I learned the importance of hard work and commitment.

There are so many things, it’s too difficult to enumerate them here. But my point is that these “history lessons” must be integrated into a life and tempered with the new information of today.

There are blessings and obstacles from the past. All must be remembered and assimilated.

I don’t believe we do enough remembering. Out of my broken past, I have lost much. I assume these lost memories have been locked away in a box somewhere deep inside of me. I am sorry now that I cannot retrieve them and address them as an adult.

But there is still a treasure of later memories. I have known Christ now the majority of my life. It is time to remember and tell the stories of this way that changed the very direction of my life. I am here today and alive (literally) because God touched me, beckoned to me and I followed.

Christ is my story. Christ is my history and my today and my tomorrow. It means something. This partnership changed everything.

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Pick Your Last Days

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 2:14, 16b-17
Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say…. this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel [2:28-29]: ‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams….”

When, exactly, are the Last Days? Good luck with that. Theologians and other Christian writers have written volumes about this phenomenon while the Pentecostals and Charismatics have been waving the Last Days banner since the turn of the 19th century. People have been talking about the Last Days for a long time. Is it possible that we’re still in the Last Days? Have the last 2000 years been the Last Days?

In his post-Holy Spirit filling in Acts 2, Peter certainly implied that the Last Days were beginning that day. He saw the outpouring of power and the speaking in tongues (other languages) that day as a sure sign of Joel’s prophecy being fulfilled.

Here are the choices I see: either we are still in the Last Days… or the Last Days haven’t really started yet… or we’re on the other side of the Last Days. Pick your camp!

I think the disciples and newly committed Christ followers in Peter’s time, believed the Last Days were right then and that it was indeed … a matter of days or weeks, at best, before Christ would return and the world would end as they knew it. They lived and died as martyrs because of their commitment to this idea. They lived fully and without compromise.

But, in the same way that Nineveh was spared when Jonah finally did what he was supposed to do, e.g. warn Nineveh’s residents of coming destruction if they didn’t change… so has the world has been spared… for now. We are still here.

But are we paying attention to the Joels and Jonahs of our own age? Are we reading the signs of warning? Are we taking seriously that we may be on borrowed time?

There are still men and women today prophesying… seeing visions… and dreaming dreams. Their words speak of spiritual deserts, economic chaos, environmental collapse, human suffering at the hands of evil, starvation and traumatic illness.

Not everyone can be a prophet or a watchman on the wall, but we can be listeners. We can change our own small world. We can love our neighbor and love our environment. We can pray for change. We can pray for healing.

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Is Doubt a Bad Thing?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 20:24b
But he [Thomas] said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

Poor Thomas has become legendary by the phrase, “doubting Thomas,” used in both secular and religious circles to mark someone as “unwilling to believe.” So often, the implication is that he was a second-class disciple because he didn’t believe at the first. And to make matters worse, Christ himself admonished Thomas by saying, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” [verse 29]

But I think we are being a little unfair. After all, the rest of the disciples DID get to see Jesus appear that first time in the locked room. We don’t know if they would have done any better than Thomas, had any of them missed that gathering. Direct experience is powerful. And it is for this reason that many people over the years have become believers: a direct experience with God in Christ.

Everyone else is initially dependent on the testimony of others. Is our story compelling? Is it complete? Is it loving? Is it inclusive? Is there room for doubt?

I think there is a healthy place for doubt. In some cases, it’s better to face the truth of our fears, our concerns, our uncertainties and engage them. To camouflage doubt is much more serious and weakens faith even more when the tough times come along. There must always be room for questions and those who don’t doubt must embrace lovingly those who do.

Christ returned to the locked room specifically to meet Thomas there, to meet his doubt. The transformation of Thomas in that moment is worth noting: he went from doubt to total belief and faith. I am convinced that Thomas was never shaken again by doubt. When doubt is authentically washed away by the revelation of truth, it sticks.

But we should not fear doubt, instead, lay it at the foot of God who will address it. Sometimes the road from doubt to faith is a slow journey. For instance, if we have doubt in ourselves, it often takes a series of positive experiences to reveal our ability to do or succeed at something. And the building of our faith in God may be the same way. Each person is different. Some achieve faith in the blink of an eye and some along a path that is only illumined one stone at a time.

My own doubt in God’s love for me has traveled in waves over the years. Naturally, it tends to rear its head when circumstances are most difficult: when my marriage was in crisis, when I couldn’t bear children, when our finances were stripped bear, when our parents died, and so on. But each time, I can say, Christ appeared in the locked room of my heart. His presence replaced doubt with hope and I was made new again.

I am on the slow path, I guess. And although I am not Thomas, I am stronger for each doubt challenge along the way.

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Breath of God

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , on September 15, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 20:22
And having said this, He breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit! [Amplified]

Just like that! Most people put a great deal more emphasis on the dramatic outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, but here we have a very low-key moment. Jesus explains their mission: go forth, do as I did, be directed by me in all you do … and then he breathes on them.

Over the years, the power of breath has been touted more and more. How many times are we told to take a deep breath? It’s one of the best things we can do for our bodies.

But the key is taking the breath. Instead, we take short shallow breaths. We know it’s good/better to use deep breathing, but we don’t. Why? We are no longer in touch with our breath.

Jesus says, “receive” the Holy Spirit. Like any gift, unless our hands are open, we cannot receive it. We must accept what is given. And if we have the power to accept, we also have the power to reject.

Breath, like the wind, cannot be measured or seen.

Today, I want to imagine that every breath I take is receiving the Holy Spirit. Today I choose life. Today I breathe in Jesus with every breath I take.

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A Folded Cloth

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 20:6-7
Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen.

I have always been intrigued by the folded cloth that was set aside separately from the rest. John is the only writer who adds this small detail. When I was still performing and touring my own show (Pente, a show that depicted the 5 women in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1), I included this tidbit in Mary’s monologue at the end of the show.

There is no real way to know who folded this cloth. I can’t quite imagine that Jesus, resurrected, pulled off the linen burial clothes and then took the time to fold his head cloth. But my imagination does go to the possibility that Mary, his mother, visited the tomb even earlier than the other women or disciples. I can imagine that she discovered the missing body and in her love for her son, folded his head cloth, perhaps after taking in the aroma of him one last time. I have no proof: it’s strictly an image I have carried for a long time.

For me, the folded cloth is an acceptance of Jesus’s transformation, his resurrection. Mary had pondered long all of the prophecies and experiences. And now, she could see that all had happened as Jesus said it would. She finally knew, without a doubt, that Jesus was indeed the Messiah, who had died and risen as he had promised he would.

For me, she left the folded cloth, the former life, and stepped into her own new life. Today, I fold away the mistakes of my yesterdays and begin again. Each day is a new opportunity…. a new beginning. Thanks be to God.

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The Counselor is Here

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 22, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 15:26
“When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me.”

The Counselor is the Spirit of Truth. This Counselor was promised by Jesus and sent out from the Father. The Counselor is not human but Spirit. This Counselor is still here.

In human terms, how does a counselor operate? A counselor is a listener. He/she is paid to listen, or if not paid, it’s a clear-cut part of the unwritten contract between the counselor and the client. A counselor cares about the client. A counselor is focused on the client and is interested in the progress of the client. A counselor is committed to the client.

A counselor is a mirror and assists the client in seeing him or herself more clearly. The counselor asks questions to help the client dig deeper. The counselor is an observer. The counselor is available and non-judgmental. The counselor is a truth-teller.

As believers, we have access to a Holy Counselor. But we tend to wait too long before we enter into dialogue with this counselor.

Instead, we tend to look to upon our triune God as a fixer. We act and when/if we act in error, we cry out for help. We are “reactive” and not “proactive” [that is, in the language of our current culture].

And it’s just like in “real life,” when we need the assistance of a human counselor, we must step away from our regular lives and schedule. We must commit to the time and energy and honesty it takes to look within. The counselor is a type of integrator but the process requires our trust and desire to move forward.

We must choose to enter into this relationship on the long term. The Holy Counselor is not into the quick fix. The Holy Counselor is in it with us for the long haul.

Holy Counselor, let us begin anew.

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Pruning or Cutting

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , on August 16, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 15:2
“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”

Do I know the difference? I’m not sure I do. Conceptually I understand. Pruning is supposed to be that little snip here and there, deadheading, and shaping, while cutting is chopping off a dead branch or even more drastic, the whole top of something and starting over. One action is a hopeful trim while the other is not so hopeful, more resignation I’d say. Oh sure, there are times that a major cutting happens and the plant regroups and sprouts all over again, but how often does that happen?

My husband and I have always wanted a willow tree, but we’re too cheap to just go out and buy one. So, he keeps coming up with these little willow tree sprigs and shoots to try and generate some roots from them… either in a jug a water or sticking them directly in the ground (according to “his” daddy, this is possible). Anyway, to make a long story short, none of these methods have worked to date. That is, until the last one. He stuck it in the ground (we have a very wet area of our yard) and no surprise, the little thing up and died. So we didn’t bother to prune it, we just cut it down. Guess what? That little guy interpreted that action completely differently. For that little willow, it was pruning, and up from nothing, came a healthy willow branch, ready to face the world. Go figure.

What’s the lesson here? Anything is possible. Pruning and cutting can look the same sometimes but it’s what the plant does with it that matters.

When an idea or a planned future is cut off from out lives, how are we interpreting it? I have assumed that broken dreams were God’s way of saying, “no, not that!” But really, it’s possible that it was just a re-direction. It was really a pruning… maybe it felt like cutting because I had carried the plan along too far without checking in. Who knows?

I know I’m in Christ. I’m in the plant… the vine. And if that’s the case, it’s all pruning, every change out of my control and in God’s control has tremendous potential. I think it’s time to really embrace the shifts and snips.

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