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Posts Tagged ‘trust’

Prepare a Room for Me

Posted in Eastertide, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 27, 2011| 1 Comment »

Empty Room by Tom Burke

Believing in a future is part of the faith package. We can’t know what that future will actually hold for us, but that does not preclude us from embracing all the possibilities. So much of tomorrow hinges on today.

Philemon 20
And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.

Paul believed he would be cut loose from prison. He asked his friends and his followers to believe the same thing, despite the circumstances.

I can function fairly well in this part of the equation, but I’m not so good when that future I had prayed about, asked for and even envisioned, doesn’t happen. I am disappointed. This is a trap for me.

Intellectually, I understand what it should be. I can preach about it and I can teach about. I can offer all kinds of advice, quotations, and scripture references. Honest, I get it. But the reality of living the other answer is not always my best day.

Instead of disappointment, when the alternate future presents itself, I need to joyfully envelop it and give thanks because God, all sovereign, heard my prayer and took my future onto a different way. When I don’t get “out of prison,” when I don’t get the job, when my kid doesn’t go to college, when my project is not accepted, when . . . when . . . when, it’s no less intentional from the God perspective.

I’m reading a book by Steven Furtick called Sun Stand Still. He’s a young, exuberant pastor from Charlotte, North Carolina, who planted a church that grew into the thousands in a very short time. He’s all about audacious prayers and expecting God to do impossible things. He has seen such prayers answered every day. His faith is infectious. He challenges his church to do the same, like Paul, he says, “do as I do, believe as I believe, trust as I trust.”

Have a I become too jaded in my walk to drum up this kind of enthusiasm? I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t believe God can do great and wondrous acts. God can and does. But I want to be able to walk on through despite the outcomes. I want to have a faith that isn’t wrapped around the answers. Because, quite honestly, my requests are not always in the best interests of the whole picture; I know that instinctively. I can only dream my dream and put my desires out there. But I could be way off.

When I was younger and went through those terrible years of barrenness, I came to a peace when I accepted the reality of my body. It was no less God’s plan and, in the end, we built a family through adoption, three kids who didn’t know that God had prepared a room for them here.

Everything is connected, every dream, every future, every room. Keep me mindful Lord, when I step into the room prepared for me today, that I don’t forsake it just because it’s not painted the color I had imagined or it’s not furnished with the expected furniture or populated by certain people.

Help me dream and even dream big still, but help me engage in today fully as well. Today is part of yesterday’s dream.

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You Can Trust Them

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2011| 2 Comments »

In several places Paul tells his followers to trust his message because his very life is a testament to his faith. In today’s world, there are those we know and have known, whether they are friends or family, and because we know them, we trust them. Or do we?

II Timothy 3:14
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, . . .

Trust is a funny thing. It can be taken for granted or it can be nurtured consciously and strengthened over time. The longer and deeper I know someone, the more likely I am to discern whether he/she is trust “worthy.” Relationships are built on trust because people must be transparent to be trusted. Without transparency, the foundations of a relationship are built on sand. And yet, despite, weeks or months or years of building trust, it can be broken with a single word, a single act, a single observation.

As soon as mistrust raises its unholy head, there’s hell to pay. Rebuilding trust after a betrayal (whether perceived or real) takes longer than the first time around. We place the other under the microscope and we find additional reasons to “not” trust. We look for the lie. We look for the secrets. We expect the worst.

I believe this “breaking of trust” moment must be examined carefully and weighed against knowledge and familiarity and love.

In the past week, I have seen three relationships within my immediate family ripped apart (possibly in a permanent way) because of broken trust. Somehow, whatever was known about each other before that moment came, was not enough to stay the doubt and suspicion, to balance the scale of possibilities, to hold the cracks together. Whether it’s teenagers falling in and out love or mature adults running from the possibility of being hurt yet again, the process is the same and one or the other says, “I don’t believe you.”

And then, on top of that, in a public forum, I witnessed palpable abusiveness and accusations because of a perceived certainty that trust was broken. I wanted to stand up and yell, “Stop! You’re talking about my friend, you’re calling into question the integrity of someone I have known for twenty years.” I trust my friend. I trust my friend’s intentions. And it hurt me to watch the bubbling cauldron of bitterness and rejection. The words were different, but it sounded the same, “I don’t believe you.”

And that’s when I saw it, this moment of decision, to stand by what has been shared and spoken before, to remember the conviviality and the good intentions, to hold fast to the history. . . or not.

Paul tells Timothy to trust in the truth of what he has learned from his mentor, from his friends, and from his family. This is Paul’s last letter to his protege. Many, many people attacked Paul in the same way that the authorities attacked Jesus. They called them liars, fakes, and charlatans. They called them destroyers and divisive elements in the faith.

Who will we choose to trust in that moment when the vase is about to shatter? Who will we believe?

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Trap of the Devil

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2011| 2 Comments »

Most of my understanding of the nature of God is downright murky; how much less my understanding of that opposite force/entity: the Devil? And yet, I see the consequences of evil everywhere, even prevalent. How do I still get trapped?

II Timothy 2:25-26
You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil’s trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands. [The Message]

What is the trap of the devil anyway? I’d say it has more to do with a state of the mind than anything else. After all, it’s in the mind that I make decisions, that I initiate my actions. I choose inside the mind. So, I confess, some “traps” I choose. I choose to judge others; I choose to gossip; I choose to sin. Like any woman on a perpetual diet, I still eat the wrong foods and exercise little. I perpetuate my condition.

Now, that’s not to say that some traps don’t catch me off guard too. Like a mousetrap, that is laden with scrumptious cheese. It looks so good. It looks so harmless. I am presented with such snares in the media and while shopping: buy, buy, buy. I am offered credit cards with “cheap” interest. I am told I can afford a much bigger house than I thought. I am encouraged to upgrade everything and anything. Super size it!

And what about the gambit that slowly bewitches me if I am not watchful, like the little frog in the pot of water, getting hotter and hotter? Will I jump out in time? Not always. I become desensitized. I no longer notice the brutal lyrics, the foul language, the abusive behaviors. I am able to watch tsunami scenes and it’s like watching a Hollywood movie, all unreal. “How sad,” I say, “how tragic,” and then I blend up my smoothie or pour a glass of Pinot Noir and watch a DVD to get away from the news.

They say that people who are abducted actually begin to attach to their abductors. Their limited lives develop a pattern, a norm, and slowly, the whole idea of escape is numbed out of them. Isn’t this the most insidious trap of all?

And if I get trapped, so can anyone else. When I’m caught up in a web, it means so much when someone reaches out to me, tells me to “watch out” before I step on the trigger, helps me climb out of the pot of water, gives me clarity where I can no longer see, and draws me into truth with love.

No one likes being slapped across the head like an idiot and told to “wake up! You’re deluded.” No one likes to discover they’ve been fooled or tricked.

The people who have made a difference in my life are the ones who were consistent and patient; those who were authentic in their faith and transparent in their sharing of self.

This is my goal as a follower of the Christ today. This is the role that makes it possible to change a path, to walk beside, to love, to stay out of traps by walking the road corporately.

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Can’t Disown Himself

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2011| 1 Comment »

Shared with Irenic Thoughts Blog

If this “in Christ” and “in me” business is not a mystery, then I don’t know what is. To accept the truth of a Messiah is not a casual decision nor is it just “fire insurance.” It’s a relationship that opens a supernatural door to a unique and forever-lasting access to God.

II Timothy 2:11b-13
If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

This scripture statement is filled with “if’s” because I have to participate in the alliance. Only if I tear up the internal contract completely and “disown” my agreement will I jeopardize the arrangement. Otherwise, no matter what mistakes I make, what foolishness I exhibit, what disappointments and doubt, my God, through the Holy Spirit remains . . . both “in” me and faithful.

Like my own children, who make terrible choices sometimes and even do the opposite of what I ask or recommend, they are mine and always will be. They are part of me and I am part of them.

This is the human version of the God contract. And that one is much more robust. Thanks be to God.

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Pierced with many Griefs

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Contentment can turn into complacency if not tempered by the presence of God. While the drive for monetary success can override smaller, gentler ways and cause discontent, sorrow, or grief. Success, fame, renown . . . they are also cut from the same cloth as the love of money.


I Timothy 6:6, 10
But godliness with contentment is great gain. . . . For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Two sides of a coin are represented in this brief passage.

On one side, I see the importance of adding godliness to the formula for contentment. So many people have taken contentment to mean “door mat” or satisfaction with misrepresentation. Neither of these are correct. True contentment is wrapped up in trust first and sensitized to the Spirit within that trust wrapper. When we cannot change a situation, then we must trust God to know and impact it in God time. And when we can change a situation, then we must move according to the stirrings from the Holy Spirit, moving at a non-human speed. That’s how contentment and godliness work together.

On the other side of my coin is too much action with the wrong motivation. It’s change for the sake of personal gain alone. It’s living a deception and for this reason, it brings grief, for once the money or fame or notoriety are achieved, truth is lost and in many cases, the people who mattered most are cast away while the secret dream that had nothing at all to do with money is forgotten.

Sometimes, acclaim comes without an expectation or specific desire for it. Sometimes, it’s a by-product because a person acted out of pure motive and devotion. It can happen. But not often.

For me, I have known none all and none. Griefs have come and I have felt the piercings. Mostly, because of my fears of not having money. And so, there is a holding or misuse of money, a drive to protect what I do have. It colors my world and I don’t like it, but I am hard-pressed to let go. I am hard-pressed to experience contentment within the confines of what is: this much money and no more; this lifestyle and not another; this security and not that other one; this way for now and not another way.

Grief comes with loss and how interesting to be warned of loss in the midst of “financial gain.” Another scriptural paradox!

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Train Yourself to be Godly

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , on March 12, 2011| 1 Comment »

Isn’t this a summary of the entire Christian walk? And yet, in the same way that I make New Year’s resolutions, start diets, and buy exercise equipment, I am erratic in my spiritual training. It’s the journey and not the destination that is critical.

I Timothy 4:7-8
Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

I know Paul makes a big deal about the benefits for the afterlife, but I am not moved by a promise for an unknown future. (I mean, what do we really know/understand about heaven – that multi-dimensional other place that we can not even imagine, much less describe.) No, I am more interested in what this training will do for my 3-D life now, my day to day, my interactions with others, my state of mind, my service, and my heart. If these would get boost from spiritual training, then whatever comes later is gravy. That may sound crass, but I mean it.

We live in a troubled world. As scripture says, we live amidst wars and rumors of wars. “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. . . ” [Matthew 24:7] Japan just experienced a 8.9 earthquake and the headlines are reading that 9,500 people are already missing from a single city. This is a kind of mass devastation that feels unreal to those of us sitting in our living rooms and watching television or drinking in the sunshine of the day.

What is the spirit response to this weary world and sorrow?

I am a pebble tossed in a different pond, but there are those concentric circles around me. If I can manage to bring down the veil that dilutes the outpouring of the Holy Spirit from within me, then God can use me to touch that first circle around me.

The training is for the first circle and then the second and then the third, ever wider. But I cannot leap into the bigger circle without the practice of the inner one. That is a true myth.

My problem: I keep putting only little pieces of myself into the water like a toe or a hand, I don’t jump in and get completely wet. I am afraid of drowning, even at this level. I don’t trust the water, not really. So I go out for more training in the use of goggles and flippers and underwater gear, instead of trusting that my previous training is enough.

What does most of that training look like? Letting go. It’s “Let go and let God” became so popular over the years. It’s more about letting grace work, letting the Holy Spirit lead the way. It’s about the breath of God doing the breathing and not some tanks strapped on my back.

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Contempt for the Prophetic?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2011| 3 Comments »

In today’s world, unless one participates in a charismatic denomination, the idea of the prophetic smacks of the National Enquirer. So, if most people don’t believe in prophecy, isn’t that already contempt? How does a prophet gain credibility?

I Thessalonians 5:20-22
. . . do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.

Actually, the scriptures speak of the importance of testing what is said by a prophet. All the way back in the Old Testament, it was written, “If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken.” [Deut 18:22a] This appears to be a straightforward test of a prophecy, if it comes to pass, it’s a true prophecy. Of course, that doesn’t help much in the moment, when a prophecy is uttered.

It’s hard to know, actually. I have experienced a kind of fluttering within my personal spirit upon occasion, a sense of truth being spoken, a type of corroboration or affirmation. But, that’s certainly less than definitive. And so, if the prophecy is important, it’s reasonable to consider putting the words to the test.

But I will say right here, testing a prophecy is about as effective as trusting internal flutterings alone. Oh, I suppose one could compare the prophecy to what is already known and determine if it’s sound and grounded in truth. However, it’s in my mind that a genuine prophecy is outside the normal range of reason. Otherwise, it would just be something the smart folks around us could figure out, they’d be able to predict. You know, those people who love statistics and computers, our weathermen and futurists.

Perhaps the key word here is not the test but the attitude? A prophetic utterance viewed with contempt will rarely find root.

I did check the Greek, as best I am able, and there is a some confusion as to whether the “testing” phrase is about the prophecies or about everything else, that is determining what is good and right vs. what is not. So, perhaps we aren’t supposed to test prophecies alone, but test the world around us.

Others will say that prophecies are not merely predictive, but rather some type of “edification or encouragement.” I think that’s pretty lame. There’s not much danger in doing that, is there? What is there to disregard or disdain?

No, I think it’s all the phrases [20-22] together that have meaning: I cannot hear truth of any kind if I have closed myself off through contempt, either for the speaker or the message. If I have made a decision before the time, then there is no possibility I will hear anything new. In other words, “we hear what we want to hear.”

Also, once we have heard something (anything), we shouldn’t act or react immediately, but let it settle inside. Some testing can be done by comparing the message with what is known, but for what is unknown, it takes a united exploration of those words and ideas with the Holy Spirit. And finally, out of everything spoken, we must hold fast to “good” and truth: once we accept the truth of a prophecy, then we must not let it go. From there comes strength to “avoid evil.”

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