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Posts Tagged ‘trust’

Overwhelmed by the Wind

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2010| Leave a Comment »

When prisoner Paul was on his way to Rome by sea, he warned the ship’s pilot that a storm was coming. But on the day they started out, there was just a “gentle south wind” and all seemed well. How often do we start out in a gentle wind only to be shocked by a windy reversal?

Acts 27:14-15
Before very long, a wind of hurricane force, called the “northeaster,” swept down from the island. The ship was caught by the storm and could not head into the wind; so we [the ship that was carrying Paul to Rome] gave way to it and were driven along.

I have had wind on the mind all week. It’s been really windy in our area, so much so that we lost two huge Beech trees that broke off at the midway point in our back yard. What a mess. The wind has been almost a constant. This week I realized I don’t really like wind. I don’t like its relentlessness.

I’m not talking about a gentle breeze that cools the skin on a hot day or a even a a few gusts that come and go. I mean wind that bends the trees and jangles the heavy wind chimes outside my window.

In Paul’s story, the ship’s pilot was so sure that light wind was a good omen. And I’m certain he was well seasoned and knew the signs and ways of the sea. And yet, the storm came all the same. How many times have I set out on ventures that appeared to be smooth sailing on the surface but turned into gale force winds unexpectedly.

I have based many a decision on outward signs alone. I did not seek the unseen forces that can only be found through prayer and meditation. I’m not just talking about small decisions, but big ones like getting married, getting divorced, moving to New York, leaving New York, getting married again, starting a new job, changing jobs, and so forth. At the outset, each and every choice seemed reasonable and appropriate at the time, but I cannot say those decisions were made with much prayer. In fact, I confess the real praying didn’t start in earnest until the wind start really blowing.

What happens then? Honestly, once the big winds start, there is rarely anything can be done. In Paul’s day, they could no longer control or steer the ship and so they “gave way to it.”

I have tried battling the winds of some of my decisions. But the truth is, sometimes we just need to let go. Give the ship to God and wait for the storm to settle. Then, and only then, can we really assess what happened or why. But more importantly, only then can we ask God to show us the next step.

This is not unlike Rescue. We must ride the circumstances to some degree until some calm comes to the moment.

For a season, I tried to teach myself to enjoy roller coasters. They are basically harmless and yet their appeal is in calling forth some basic fears of falling, heights, and speed (very windy!). There was a roller coaster (one of those “mouse” types) that just about did me in as the individual cars rounded corners with the front end hanging off the edge. I pretty sure I compressed my son’s hand into a pancake. But I couldn’t stop the experience in the middle. I couldn’t get off the roller coaster. I had to ride it to the end. I survived. And then I made some new decisions. I figured out that I don’t need to go that way. I can skip that roller coaster next time.

There is one other thing that can help in a stormy, windy situation: to be grounded in a God relationship beforehand. Even if I screw up and don’t specifically prepare my soul for my next storm, I know I can trust in the God who has been carrying me through regular days up until then.

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Past and Future Witness

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2009| Leave a Comment »

When we enter into relationship with Christ Jesus we are also entering into an agreement to be a witness to the acts of Jesus in our lives up until that moment and as events unfold in the future. Much like the cusp of the New Year… we look back, but we also look forward.

Acts 26:15b-16
” ‘I am Jesus, whom you [Paul] are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. ‘Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you. …”

When I started on the Way, I was a little embarrassed. I wasn’t comfortable with the trappings of being a “Christian.” There was a whole new vocabulary and depending on the types of believers around me, there were expectations about behaviors. Sometimes, the whole thing just didn’t feel real. Was I really going to carry a bible around with me all the time and wear a cross around my neck and give homage to Christian holidays? Was I really a person who would stop saying Jesus Christ! when I banged my toe or hit my fingers with a hammer? Was I really going to go to church every Sunday or even extra days throughout the week? Would I pray in public? Would I raise my hands and dance in the aisles or would I kneel in a pew and cross myself? Would I pray for people over the phone? Would I ask people to pray for me on the Internet?

Which of these outward expressions would really witness to my faith in Christ?

None. Not really. Somewhere along the way, I realized it was my transformations within that would dictate my outer expressions. And even from the very beginning, there was a powerful presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. No matter how I stumbled, there was a wooing that would bring me back to the Way.

I experienced private joy when I walked around my apartment for an hour singing the only Christian song I knew, Jesus Loves Me. There were intense times of forgiveness of my father who died and abandoned me at a young age, and forgiveness of people who had hurt me, and forgiveness of myself for the hurts I had caused others (my mother, my first husband, my brother, my friends). There were testing times too because I wanted to see if God really cared about me as an individual. He did. He does.

Now, what of tomorrow? What will be my witness be for tomorrow? What more will the Christ do in my life? Perhaps this is the reason I write now… to capture today so I can be ready for the next hour, the afternoon, the evening, and then tomorrow.

Yes, I am on the Way. It is a long path that winds ahead. I can look back on that path and see where I took some “long cuts” (opposite of a short cut) and I can see where the path was wide and easy as well as the places that were narrow and difficult. When I turn to look ahead, I can see there are curves ahead that prevent me from seeing very far into the future. But I do see that there is a path. And when I look around, I can see the footprints of others. I am not alone on the Way.

Yes, it’s all good. I am comfortable in my Jesus shoes at last. I am content.

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Do me a favor

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , on December 28, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Doing or giving favors sounds like a good thing and yet, as soon as it’s done in the political arena, it’s dark and convoluted. Instead of extending good will alone, it also carries an expectation of paybacks. Am I doing any better than this?

Acts 25:9
Festus, wishing to do the Jews a favor, said to Paul, “Are you willing to go up to Jerusalem and stand trial before me there on these charges?”

The best favor is the one not expected or requested. A true favor comes from the heart. It’s a “token of good will” and requires nothing in return. But if we ask for a favor, aren’t we really saying … “do this thing for me because you are able to do it and when something comes along that I can do for you, I will.”

A true favor is an act of grace and is imparted to someone whether they deserve it not. There should be no expectation of a “return.”

When both of the governors, Festus and Felix, wanted to do a favor for the Jewish leaders by trying and/or condemning Paul, their expectation was that the favor would bring cooperation later on. It was a gesture that would show the Jewish leaders that they wanted a peaceful relationship… no more uprisings.

This is an abuse of the its true nature. But this norm has come down to us in our own time.

Instead of asking for favors, I’m going to look for opportunities to give favors. In order to anticipate a need, it’s important to know a person. A useless item or action is no favor at all. It’s a gratuity.

Keep me mindful today that I might favor those around me in a meaningful way. Amen.

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A Young Man’s Courage

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Paul had a nephew who was following in his “Pharisee” family tradition apparently. As a result, he was present when the Sanhedrin and 40 men plotted to ambush and kill Paul. That young man, unnamed, changes Paul’s course. Who’s life will I change… who will change mine?

Acts 23:16
But when the son of Paul’s sister heard of this plot, he went into the barracks and told Paul.

Over and over again, I am astounded by the impact of one person’s courage. In a recent post by Seth Godin, he wrote of the power to affect change by corralling 1000 people into action. And I think that is very compelling, but then, I read about the impact of one person in a single moment that changes everything.

If Paul had been ambushed that day, the New Testament would be totally different. Many of Paul’s writings would be lost. His legacy and witness to the gentiles would have been diminished.

And in all of this, Paul had no control whatsoever. He had no idea what was happening. The situation was being molded completely outside of his knowledge.

How many events and people are operating right now that may collide with my own life? Will there be a turn in my future when I go out shopping today? Will someone cross my path who will unlock something critical in my understanding of God… of life? Or will I be the catalyst for someone else? Will I have the courage to act if the situation is dangerous?

I don’t believe Paul’s nephew was a believer or follower of Christ. But he recognized evil and he was moved by his own personal sense of right and wrong; he warned his uncle of the plot. Who knows what else prompted him to act? We’ll never know. Perhaps he loved his uncle… perhaps he spoke to his mother first and her love for her brother trumped everything else. It’s fun to speculate.

Today, I want to be mindful of those around me. Give me courage today to act when necessary. And if I am on the receiving end of a dramatic shift in my circumstances, may I be at peace knowing that this too is within the sovereign will and grace of God. Plus, my change may be the opportunity for someone else to exhibit his/her own courage.

Oh yes, we are woven together. I am grateful for our God, the weaver of life and death.

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Citizenship

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , on December 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Many take their American citizenship for granted. And although a U.S. citizenship used to carry more weight around the world than it does today, there are still tremendous freedoms that come with it. But there is still another citizenship.

Acts 22:29b
The commander himself was alarmed when he realized that he had put Paul, a Roman citizen, in chains.

In Paul’s time, a Roman citizen had the authority to call on the power of Caesar to intervene if he was being mistreated or maligned. As citizens of heaven, we have the same authority. We can call on the “King of Heaven.” But we have to believe in this government of God. We have to believe the ruler of heaven and earth is responsive. We have to participate as true citizens.

As American citizens, we agree to pay taxes, follow laws, protect our land, and preserve our constitution. The same is true for our citizenship in heaven… we must agree to do the same.

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What Shall I Do?

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Why can’t I remember to ask this question before I hurdle into action after my own great idea or solution? Answer: Because I don’t want to hear another answer…. or worse, I can’t really hear God’s answer. So, I cover uncertainty with bravado and a battle cry, “This way! Follow me.”

Acts 22:10
And I [Paul] asked, “What shall I do, Lord?” And the Lord answered me, “Get up and go into Damascus, and there it will be told you all that it is destined and appointed for you to do.” [Amplified]

Paul was knocked off his horse by a bright light and a voice who identified himself as Jesus of Nazareth, the very person Paul had hated and whose followers he was persecuting, jailing and condemning to death. And yet, Paul had the guts to ask, “What I shall I do?” (I think there was an unspoken “now” at the end of that question). Paul probably expected he would be killed for his massacre of Jesus’s followers. Blinded by the light, Paul arrived in Damascus and did not eat or drink for three days. [Acts 9:9] He was at the Lord’s mercy.

But God did the opposite of what anyone would have expected. Paul was anointed instead, to be a witness to the reality of Jesus as the Messiah and eventually that witness was predominately directed to the gentiles, the most despised people group by the Jews.

Paul didn’t really know he’d end up with the gentiles. When he started telling his story, he taught among his own people. He went to the synagogues and Jewish prayer places. But when his witness was rejected there, he turned to the other people who embraced his message. His ministry evolved and he allowed it to evolve.

God is full of grace and mercy. He doesn’t drag us along kicking and screaming.

Jeff, my old friend, and I used to always joke that we would “never” go to Africa or anywhere else where poverty and hardships were the norm. No way. We liked our creature comforts far too much. In fact, whenever people started talking about their fabulous experiences in various third world countries or impoverished areas, we would look at each other, pretend to wave a flag, and hum the “Stars and Stripes Forever.”

But, what happened? Jeff ended up in the ghetto of London ministering to the homeless and prostitutes for over a year and my family ended up working with two orphanages in Namibia and Zambia in Africa. And all was done with a joyful heart. It all happened at the right time and the right place.

This is the message for me today: my job is to ask. God honors the asking. God is a good communicator. If I honestly want to hear … if I am willing to hear… then God’s “voice” is clear.

Something is evolving. I can feel it in my heart but I don’t know what it might be. I can only ask: “Oh God, what shall I do now?”

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Egyptian Terrorist

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2009| Leave a Comment »

The Roman commander may have saved Paul from the savage crowd but he still mistook him for an Egyptian terrorist! How could that be? Is it possible the commander saw what he wanted to see and not what was actually there?

Acts 21:38
“Aren’t you the Egyptian who started a revolt and led four thousand terrorists out into the desert some time ago?” [Commander arresting Paul]

Expectations are powerful and can lead us astray easily.

There was little to no evidence for the commander to suspect Paul to be a terrorist. I doubt Paul looked like an Egyptian, nor was he fighting off the crowd, nor did he have followers who were armed and dangerous. The only evidence was the crowd’s reaction to Paul. The commander may have assumed the situation was political. He could not imagine the riot was about differences in religious views. Or, that it was about who could be “in” and who was “out?” Or, who could be a follower and who could not? Or, who should be circumcised and who should not?

To the traditional Jews, it was bad enough that Paul was preaching/teaching about this Jesus as the Messiah, but now word had spread that Paul had embraced the gentiles and was opening the faith to them. He had crossed a line they could tolerate.

One of my favorite musicals is Fiddler on the Roof. Tevye, the father, is faced with constant change as his daughters come of age to marry. The first one challenges the tradition that marriages are arranged and she marries out of love. Tevya begrudgingly complies. His second daughter falls in love with a zealot who is ultimately arrested and sent to Siberia. She decides to follow her love and Tevye, again, allows her to go, but with deep misgivings. But, when the the youngest daughter falls in love with a gentile, it is a line that Tevye cannot and will not cross. She is cast out and “dead to him.” In the end, the Russian pogrom disrupts their entire village. As Tevye’s family members are dispersed and may never see each other again, Tevye relents and speaks a small “God be with you” to his beloved daughter and her gentile husband.

Tevye had expectations. We all do… for our lives and for our children. Sometimes we expect the best and sometimes we expect the worst. Instead, I believe we must be willing to lay aside our expectations. Everyone’s journey is different. We can hope for the best, but we must accept the truth of what is happening in the present as well.

Another set of expectations rise up when we meet people who are different from ourselves. They may be from another country, speak a different language, or just live in a different neighborhood. Their skin may be of a different color. They may practice a different set of religious values or family structure. If we lay down our expectations, we may be surprised by what we discover: a beating heart, a yearning soul, a bright mind.

Keep my heart open today Lord. Help me to seek the heart of others and to see past our differences. Check my spirit when I start thinking that someone might be an “Egyptian terrorist” based on superficial circumstances or appearances.

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