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Posts Tagged ‘acceptance’

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe.” [John 6:35-36, NIV]  I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. “But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.” [Psalm 81:10-12, NIV]

 No one can make or convince another person to believe, particularly in the things of God. The proofs will always, somehow, fall short; the explanations sound hollow; the passion suspect. Believe or not: there is no try.

Belief in God requires an acceptance of “other” that is outside our normal range of perception. God is not like us. God is not just me or you or nature or the universe. God is all and God is nothing. God is paradox and logic. God is light and dark. alpha omega

God manifests among us through humans in a variety of ways and for this reason, there have been (and still are) saints and charlatans. Jesus is our prime, for those who believe, of course.

Jesus is the physical God with a specific message and example of grace and redemption and love. Jesus completed the circle of promise that was initiated in the heart and soul of sentient human: Adam, if you will.

But Jesus, the physical, departed earth more than 2000 years ago. What’s left? More God. Spirit. And faith that it all really happened, God really IS and WAS and WILL BE.

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chameleonBack and forth I go over this scripture from Paul about being “all things to all people.” More than likely, he is referring to his ability to accommodate various beliefs and behaviors by being non-judgmental and that’s a good thing, but then I can envisage a mis-use of this passage to assert we should blend in and not rock the boat. It’s all a bit of a fine line.

I act weak to the weak, so I can recruit the weak. I have become all things to all people, so I could save some by all possible means. All the things I do are for the sake of the gospel, so I can be a partner with it. [I Corinthians 9:22-23, CEB]

Honestly, I’m not sure Paul could have blended in anywhere anyway. He was so opinionated and seemed to step on toes wherever he went. I’m just sayin.’

Jesus is really the role model for this scripture. He never changed his spots and yet, he engaged each person and group fully. He allowed people to be who they were in that moment and the by-product was that they recognized his authenticity. I could imagine him walking into a bar and hanging out and although he would be drinking water, he would be available without condemnation.

When serving outside our comfort zone, it’s important to be secure in our faith without reserve, but also realize that every journey is different. But we must learn to “look” to the spark of human within, the spark that is waiting for the flame of the Holy Spirit, for all of humanity is waiting in one form or another [Romans 8:19] for the personal revelation of God. In this way, we are all the same. Our outward selves and circumstances are often a poor reflection of the core within.

The real chameleon is the spirit within who can melt into a unity with the essence of Other.

I see you. See me. I see you. See me.

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Drawing by Oldřich Kulhánek

Drawing by Oldřich Kulhánek

Job did. At least, that’s what is written about him in Job 7:16 and then again in chapter 10, verse one.

I despise [loathe, hate] my life; I would not live forever.
    Let me alone; my days have no meaning. [Job 7:16, NIV]
and . . .
I loathe [hate] my very life;
    therefore I will give free rein to my complaint
    and speak out in the bitterness of my soul. [Job 10:1, NIV]

The dictionary defines “despise” as loathing and “loathing” as a feeling of disgust or intense aversion for something. If we switch over to the word “hate,” it is defined as an intense or passionate dislike, an extreme hostility toward something.

In the early weeks or months of Job’s suffering (no one knows for sure how long he suffered, but most scholars count his time in months and weeks and not years), he hated his life. His suffering was so intense, his dismay at the losses, his “why me” lament, caused him such intense feelings, that he abhorred his very existence.

And yet, he did not kill himself. He was, despite it all, somehow surrendered to God’s will.

There is so much I do not understand about Job, but I do see this: he was in terrible pain. He was distraught and hated his circumstances. He wanted it all to end. He wanted to forget, to stop feeling, to stop experiencing all that was horrible in his life. He was attacked by his own friends and he was misunderstood. Nothing new there. Job was fully human. He was no angel in his torture and so he cried out with intensity and even venom. But he remained.

Even his wife said he should “curse god and die!” She too suffered, but ultimately placed the blame fully on Job’s own shoulders. As did his friends.

Apparently, someone has to be to blame. We do it in our modern times too, don’t we? It’s the boss or the President or the Congress or the neighbor. It’s the parents or the children or the Pastor or the car in front of us. It’s the farmer or the industrialist or the millionaires on Wall Street. It’s the Muslims or the Gays or the Polygamists. It’s the Jews or the Christians or the liberals or the conservatives. They did something! Things are bad. Someone did or said something to bring this on. Right?

Or, maybe, just maybe, it’s up to us to simply stand in the midst of the storm.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” [Ephesians 6:13, NIV]

When my friend, Mary, died on Mother’s Day, 2013, she endured several months of the ravages of pancreatic cancer. Her disease was inoperable and therefore, nothing could be done but to ride it out. When I visited her early in her death pilgrimmage, I will never forget her words: “I did nothing to cause this. I have been healthy all of my life; I ate well, I exercised, I took care of my body and my spirit. This is simply part of my journey and I will to experience it fully, without blame toward anyone, including Spirit.” And so she touched hundreds of lives in her final months and died with no miraculous healing or recuperation.

She did not despise her life or her God.

Hate and disdain, name-calling and blame-shifting, take up a lot of energy. They suck up valuable human resources.

No more. No more.

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One day This DayThe difference between Joseph and me is acceptance of today, just the way it is (not the way I think it should be). Joseph went from “favored son” to “favored slave” to “favored prisoner.” Instead of focusing on the favored part, I’d be moaning and groaning about the other transmutations. I’d be comparing now with what used to be. I’d be comparing now with my dreams. Could this day be God too?
Genesis 39: 5a, 19-21
From the time he [Potiphar] put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. . . . When his master heard [believed] the story his wife told him, saying, “This is how your slave treated me,” he burned with anger. Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison . . . But while Joseph was there in the prison, the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden.
I remember when I turned thirty (back in the day) and I was sure it was the worst day of my life. I had a litany of accomplishments that I expected to have mastered by then: successful marriage, successful career, stable income, maybe a kid, fabulous apartment, and the perfect body. Instead, I was working as a cocktail waitress in a singles bar, living in a tiny one-room cabin back in my home town (having left New York), with no boyfriend (much less a husband), and totally out of shape. Plus, the one date I did have for my “big turning thirty day” stood me up. I was a mess. God? Surely not. This could not be in God’s plan!
Looking back, of course, I can see some incredible events that happened as a result of my circumstances: the people I met, the healing between my mom and me, but mostly the discovery that I could be alone. I needed to learn who that person was (since my nature had been to define myself by others). I see God in my rear view mirror, but I couldn’t see God then.
Joseph appears to have the gifted insight, at a young age, to trust God no matter what. He took what was given and did the best he could within the parameters he was given. He worked it.
It’s time to take my head out of the sand and really look around. Every neighbor, every acquaintance, every brief encounter at work, every pet (accidents and all), every loss, every gain, every child (adult or not), every married year, every relative, every hour, day, or minute: they are all God.
Last week, I learned that one of my oldest friends (from high school days) is in the final stages of pancreatic cancer. I was so angry, Mary, the happiest one of us all, the most content, the healthiest, the most well-centered in God–she was dying? No Fair! And yet, when I spoke to her, I was immediately arrested by her Today God. She was in the now and accepted this journey just like all the other journeys.
She put me to shame without even trying. Really. Today is God. Thanks. Really, thanks for today. God.

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Illustration by Brain Danaher

I’m not much into fishing. In fact, I’d say I’ve gone fishing exactly one time. This metaphor for drawing people to the Christ doesn’t exactly resonate. My view of fishing: get some equipment, pick/find a spot, bait the hook, throw it out and wait; get a nibble and yank like crazy. Lose fish. Start over.

Matthew 4:19-20
As He was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He noticed two brothers, Simon who is called Peter and Andrew his brother, throwing a dragnet into the sea, for they were fishermen. And He said to them, Come after Me [as disciples—letting Me be your Guide], follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men! [Amplified]

What’s the attraction for fishing? I see people fishing off our town dock all the time. Sometimes in small groups, sometimes alone, sometimes with a kid-relative. When I go on vacation, there are signs everywhere for bait (apparently different bait works with different fish – I got that much). And the first time I actually walked around the fishing department of a sports store, I was shocked. There were so many different lures and poles and gadgets. Did these actually make someone a better fisherman or just high tech?

But let’s go back to the message behind the metaphor. Jesus was talking to fishermen who used nets. It was more like a drop it in and haul ’em out kind of fishing. The expectation was that “human fish” would be hauled in by the hundreds and even thousands. I wonder if the fishermen-disciples started out expecting some additional equipment.

In the end, the fishing was done quite differently: travel, talk, share, teaching, listen, accept, and invite. The bait was love. Only one kind: unconditional.

Some people still think fishing for people requires a lot of extra stuff like buildings and hot worship music and lights and video and an “online presence.” Are people so different today? Or are we just in a hurry?

Peter was in a hurry. By the time he got to the day of Pentecost, he was bringing in believers by the net full. But in the end, despite the initial haul, the most effective method was still travel (go to where the fish are), talking (give and take conversation), sharing (give what you have and can), teaching (what you’ve learned long the way), listening (everyone has a story), accepting (practicing the art of non-judgment), inviting (live life together) and love (do, act, and touch in their best interests).

In God’s time, I am fishing every time I with someone, every time I engage with someone, every time I touch someone, every time I share space with another human being. My success as a fisher-woman is my commitment to handing out the bait.

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It’s a hard reminder that our lives are not our own, no matter how much we believe they are. Oh sure, there are responsibilities and choices that only I can make for myself, and yet, in the end, it is God and all that is infinite that chooses to give or take away, to end or begin.


James 4: 13-14
Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a city and spend a year there and carry on our business and make money. Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air].
[Amplified]

Conceptually, it should be a joy: after all, isn’t God sovereign? Doesn’t God promise to do what is good for me, even better than the birds of the air [Matthew 6:26]? But I don’t walk each day in this confidence. I am still wary of the next moment. I still want to “control” it: after all, what is familiar, even painful seems better than the unknown.

But the future is the great unknown. We can create probabilities, but we cannot create absolutes.

And so, I ask, what will I experience for the rest of this day? Can I keep my hands open? Can I say “yes” to this day before it unfolds? Can I trust god with my time, my experiences, my journey?

When/what is the next moment anyway? Is it now? no now, no this other now. I can watch the clock or I can turn that invisible countdown outward.

When my elderly mother lived with us, up until her 91st year, she would get so frustrated because she felt so unproductive in those last years. In fact, one of her biggest concerns, “What should I do for the rest of my life?” She never considered the number of those days, just the fullness of them. She wanted to see her minutes and hours as valuable to others, useful.

Can I be more mindful of my day time? Can I hear the stray comment, the smallest encounter, the big mistakes as well as the great successes as opportunities to embrace the “rest of my day” in God, through Christ and the Holy Spirit?

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For mercy to have its full power, it must be a two-way street: that is the God road. Same as forgiveness, whose power can cast a wide swath when it flows freely. I forgive, God forgives me. I show mercy, God shows mercy to me.


James 2:13
. . . because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

The truth is that mercy and forgiveness are a type of twins really, aren’t they? In both cases, the person who needs forgiveness (or mercy) doesn’t deserve it. They are guilty. And yet, if I, whether it’s deserved or not, extend mercy and/or forgiveness to this rascal/deadbeat/handicapped heart, God will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant, where you have been faithful in a few things, I will put you in charge of great things.” [my paraphrase of Matthew 25:23]

Those are the significant few things: forgiveness and mercy. And once again, as in so many of my posts, it’s paradox that rears its goofy head again. We are encouraged to do the very last thing we want to do.

There is no guarantee, in fact, less than a guarantee, not even a promise or law or a mandate that my stepping out to forgive the other will mean he/she will forgive me (either for the same situation or another one). The process doesn’t work that way. The exchange is between me and Holy Spirit, not me and thee.

So, when I play “rock, paper, mercy,” it’s always got to be mercy. And it may look from the outside as though I’m losing every contest, God says I’m winning where it counts.

My daughter once asked me how my husband and I have managed to stay together for all these years; we are after all, quite different. And all I can say is that we have practiced two key concepts: acceptance of what is and mercy/forgiveness for what is not.

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