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Posts Tagged ‘way of Jesus’

Husband as Sacred Other

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010| Leave a Comment »

If love is a type of submission, as I believe it is, then that is the best place to start with this controversial passage about wifely submission. You see, if ALL are to submit to one another, why must the “wife to husband” submission be “greater” or more submissive as some people imply?

Ephesians 5:22, 24
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. . . . Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I’m still taking baby steps when it comes to loving as Christ loved others. Here’s my theory: if I can love/submit to my husband a fraction of what Christ models for me to love/submit to everyone, we’ll have a transformed marriage.

The same habitual sins I experience with others in my daily life are magnified at home. For instance, if I judge others, even people I don’t know in the grocery line or sitting in a restaurant, is there any surprise that I judge those closest to me?

Probably, the love/submission relationship was supposed to be easier with our mates, after all, we’ve made a promise to love them, to cherish them, to stand beside them through joys and sorrows, to create families, to build a microcosm of the Church (i.e. Body of Christ). Instead, we build mini-cultures that reflect the culture in which we live. In some families, that means an environment of greed, ambition, violence, mistrust, disease, and manipulation.

I missed something along the way and forgot that my own husband is “sacred other.” He is Holy Spirit illuminated too. And that is the One to whom I am to submit within him. It is not the veiled man, but the core that is holy. And it is the core of man that is more than worthy of love and yes, even submission.

Some of his veil I caused. When two people hurt each other or become estranged in any way, the darkness covers the light within on both sides. I have been looking through two layers of sin: my own and his.

It’s a uncertain business to begin peeling the layers of “outer self” in a relationship while the other is fully clothed and protected. But I am pretty sure that “outer me” cannot love/submit to anyone in the way of Jesus.

Today, I have intention and mindfulness with love and submission for the Holy Spirit.

(FD 9)

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For Everything

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2010| Leave a Comment »

This is pretty straightforward: give thanks for everything. But, over the years, I have lost the context of this phrase and as a result, it has become cliche. Why do I give thanks? To be filled with the Holy Spirit–to experience relationship with the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 5:20
. . . always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Giving thanks is a type of submission, an agreement with the giver. When I give thanks, I am in partnership with the God who I have invited to guide my life. I may not understand what is happening, but this mandate insures I enter my life with open eyes.

This is my life today. These are my burdens. This is my joy. This is my sorrow.

And when I scorn these gifts? I grieve the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit was given to me to “have my back.” There is nothing in my life that cannot be faced with the Holy Spirit–it’s God within, for heaven’s sake. That’s the promise. That’s the whole point.

So, now the real challenge: God teaches and I am asked to practice this day. Not in any fake way, but truly, with understanding, I give thanks for this day.

(FD 7)

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The Wise Way

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 12, 2010| 1 Comment »

I don’t want to sound like Master Po from the popular television show, Kung Fu by saying, “Grasshopper, wisdom is the highest level of understanding.” And then a chime dings. But maybe, just maybe, wisdom is just another word for character or plain authenticity?

Ephesians 5:15-16
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

For me, it’s still a challenge to live wisely: I have thought about wisdom for a long time. I even had a bible study group for a time, seeking wisdom, studying the words of wisdom, and the promises from operating in wisdom.

I’m putting the cart before the horse, as they say. Wisdom, or character, evolve as a by-product from our individual days and choices. There are no wise children. Their life experiences are not fully formed.

And yet, it’s not about the age of a person. It is our responses to life, to people, to God, that grows wisdom.

I’ve become so caught up in Solomon’s request for wisdom [I Kings 3:1-28] and the scriptures that encourage me to “ask” for wisdom [James 1:5], that I keep thinking of it as an anointing. If I ask, God will answer and wisdom will drop onto me like a mantle.

In verse 18b of this chapter in Ephesians, Paul says, “. . . be filled with the Spirit.” This is more likely the true foundation of all things wise.

Potentially, anyone can have wisdom from life’s challenges, sorrows, and successes. This kind of wisdom is rooted in the mind. But God’s way of wisdom involves the Spirit. And when Paul speaks of making the most of every opportunity, it’s about our relationship with Spirit. Historically, I have thought about being filled with the Holy Spirit as a “swooshy” kind of thing. I had that initial experience as a young Christian and I know it does happen. It’s a kind of anointing, an empowering presence, a wind.

But, Paul is talking about a different kind of filling here. I believe it’s part of this journey of the inner way, keeping all avenues open by avoiding those things, situations, and people that block the light and draw veils over the soul.

Most people know the proverb passage that says, “The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. . . ” [Proverbs 9:10] but we sometimes forget that this word for fear is closer to reverence than anything else. And where and when do we experience true reverence for God?

Photo by Irm Brown

In my mind, the desire for “places of reverence” encouraged the initial designs of beautiful churches and cathedrals. Intentionally, they were created as places where people could feel awed almost immediately. I can appreciate this reasoning today so much better than I could before. Our contemporary churches have lost this aspect of the worship experience.

In that first study group, I asked them, where do you experience that kind of reverence or fear of God? Their answers were varied but clearly, their answers were all choices to be in those places, with those things or people, and there we are filled with the Spirit.

What conscious choice can I make today to enter the wise way, to be in a place of reverence?

(FD6)

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Living in the Light

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2010| 2 Comments »

God's Light by Max Ash

God is light [I John 1:5]; God is love [I John 4:8]. And I am offered a chance to live my life in the circle of both: light and love. I ask for God’s indwelling and both are available to me. So, why do I continue to shutter the light and edit the love? Why do I “kick against the goads?”

Ephesians 5:8-10
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

This is the prayer that Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity would recite each day (by John Henry Cardinal Newman)

Dear Jesus,
Help me to spread Your fragrance everywhere I go.
Flood my soul with Your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly,
that my life may only be a radiance of Yours.
Shine through me, and be so in me
that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me,
but only Jesus!
Stay with me and then I shall begin to shine as you shine,
so to shine as to be a light to others;
the light, O Jesus will be all from You;
none of it will be mine;
it will be you, shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise You the way You love best,
by shining on those around me.
Let me preach You without preaching,
not by words but by my example,
by the catching force of the sympathetic influence of what I do,
the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to You.
Amen.

It’s a process, that’s why. It’s a daily prayer, a daily unveiling, an awareness, a practice.

I’m thinking this is more difficult alone than in a group. The whole point of fellowship with other light-minded people is to help keep the light shining, to fan the flame, to encourage the embers, to light the darkness.

“Kindle in me the fire of your love . . . ”

(FD5)

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Empty Words

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , on November 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »

'City of Words', lithograph by Vito Acconci, 1999

What are “empty words” and how do they get so much power? They can mean loud, confused talk; they can mean sheer rhetoric (wordiness); or they can be just idle talk and chatter. Words, words, words: what is said and how we say them; they all matter after all, for good or ill.

Ephesians 5:6a, 8
Let no one deceive you with empty words, . . . For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light . . .

I have been struggling so much the last few days to temper my speech. I have tried to stop myself from speaking maliciously or unintentionally “catty.” I can put such an arch in my voice that even if the words are harmless, the intent is not. I know it and I know their power.

Now, there is another layer to consider and that of empty words, the yakkity yakkity yak that has no value whatsoever really and yet can do harm. How many cliches do I use in a day and what do they bring to a conversation really?

But I still wonder about those empty words that carry enough power to bring down the wrath of God. These empty words are chosen to deceive. These are words that appear to have meaning but don’t. These are words that are spoken to give the listener what he/she wants to hear perhaps. These are “wooing” words. These words do not carry the whole truth. They dissemble. They lie.

Though I confess I have used empty words in chatter, let me not use words to deceive. Once again, make me exceedingly mindful of my words today.
(FD 4)

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Live a Life of Love

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I have a friend whose life phrase is “live loved” which she has adopted from the God Journey folks. It deeply resonates because of its simplicity and promise that we are loved and called to do the same for others.

Ephesians 5:2-3
Be imitators of God, a therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It’s a two way process actually, but substantially begins with being loved (or recognizing that we are loved). Usually, we experience this love first as small children in the home. The better our parents were at loving and creating security in love, the better start we have. If that love is absent, then the search is on. We all search because we all know, inherently, that we are creatures of love. It is part of our DNA.

So much of what we do as young adults and teenagers is asking, “do you still love me?” If the answer appears to be “no,” then the search for “feeling loved” expands further. And if there is no model for being loved, the chance of picking up a counterfeit increases exponentially.

Although my father loved me, his age and alcoholism prevented him from being consistent. As a child, I forgave him everything (as children do), until he died when I was nine, and my heart interpreted that as the greatest betrayal of love ever. My mother, handicapped by her own losses and mental instabilities, did the best she could, but her love always seemed to carry a proviso, a burden, a condition.

So, I performed well to merit love, from her, from my friends, from the men in my life. I became an expert chameleon, the consummate actress in life as well as on the stage. Theater and acting seemed like the perfect solution: applause equaled love. All the while asking, am I worth loving now?

Even when I met God in Christ, I was still programmed to perform and earn love. I worked through the motions and the rules. I went to church. I married a Christian man. I wore Jesus jewelry and talked the Jesus talk. I lifted up my hands at the right times and depending on the setting, I danced and swayed.

Similar to the Verizon commercial, my heart would say, “Do you love me now?”

But with each year of performing, the mistakes piled up as well. There was that inner critique, the reviewer whose assessment was always harsh and blistering.

When was the release moment? I can’t really say. I think it started when I learned about “performance-orientation” from Elijah House. And then, from there, a counselor helped me accept the truth of Romans 8:1 (Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus . . . ). And eventually, I came to really believe God loved me, failures, disappointments, and all.

And only then, I will truthfully say, did my journey to love God back begin in earnest. Only then, did I understand and experience freedom in my faith.

And what does loving God look like? I’m pretty sure it’s loving others and letting them love me. Today. I’ll start with today.

(Fast Day 2)

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Power of Three

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on November 7, 2010| 2 Comments »

Apparently, there are at least three tools for breaking the potency of bitterness, anger and slander that grieve the Holy Spirit (and others): kindness, compassion and forgiveness. And in fact, I believe it’s the marriage of kindness and compassion that makes forgiveness possible.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Too often, we think of a kindness as polite niceties. Instead, I think it’s a choice to act in a way that is independent of the circumstances. Kindness is a habit, well-formed.

I’ve been reading a 2010 book by N.T. [Tom] Wright called “After You Believe” in which the good professor is putting forth the foundations for virtue and thereby, character. In the early chapters, he talks about the natural response to circumstances as being the evidence of virtue. And isn’t kindness one of these? We shouldn’t have to think about being kind.

The power of kindness became so popular at one point, there were bumper stickers and a Foundation advocating more kindness, just for the heck of it. And yet, it’s not really the norm for us.

And compassion? This requires an awareness of Other in a specific way. To express compassion, we must see, hear, and feel something of the Other. Without a relationship of some kind, I believe it’s only kindness. Compassion is the next level and implies a doing or a response to remedy the situation.

If kindness is touching someone’s hand, then compassion is putting something in the hand.

The two together create the perfect environment for forgiveness.

The father who forgives the drunk driver who killed his daughter, found compassion and kindness first. I met Jeffrey Vetter and the young man, Michael Jacoby, who drove the car.

Forgiveness must be fueled with something, and is not efficacious with words alone. The heart must be engaged because it is the heart that is healed.
(Fast Day 1)

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