Since I struggle with chameleon tendencies, I have been uncomfortable with Paul’s assertion to “become all things to all men” to win them to the faith. But then I realized: non-judgmentalism comes with adaptation. And that’s the crux of it all.
I Corinthians 9:22b
I have [in short] become all things to all men, that I might by all means (at all costs and in any and every way) save some [by winning them to faith in Jesus Christ] [Amplified]
Paul consciously chose to adapt to the people around him; he was not pretending to be someone else to be liked. He chose to “be” with people fully. Jesus did the same thing. He spoke to be understood. He genuinely listened. He was present in the moment.
Adapting does not necessarily mean imitating. It’s not necessary to speak crassly to be around people who do. Nor does it mean I must smoke, use drugs, or drink because they do. But, it does mean I can’t condemn them for their way of speech or habits. It is accepting them where they are right now that makes the whole difference.
I am personally sensitive to cursory attention. When I am out of my own comfort zone, around wealthier people or people with greater authority or power, I am aware of my non-status in some of their eyes and demeanor. And I yet, I think I do the same thing to others who don’t measure up to my own internally set standards. God forbid.
People don’t want my pity, my sympathy, or my indulgence. All of these come with an assumption that I have it better than they do, either by luck or perseverance. And yet, does that make me better?
It goes back to the “sacred other.” It goes back to the heart of humanity. Instead of identifying differences, I want to be seeking for similarities.
As babies, we were all seeking the same thing: safety. And that safety was demonstrated to us by a primary caregiver. If we didn’t get that then, we are still looking for it as children, teens, or adults.
Am I a place of safety for others? Can I become one? Isn’t this part of my mission as a believer? To manifest acceptance and safety: “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” [Psalm 32:7] “My [Jesus’s] prayer is not that you [God] take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” [John 17:15]
Nicely written, read it a few times.
Thanks Michael.
Funny, with all your beautiful pix, no profile image? 🙂