Meditations from Zion

Look inside and out before eating the holy meal. Communion is a combination of a corporate act [with other believers] and a personal examination. The encounter doesn’t work very well if we don’t really believe or accept that the bread & wine [or juice] have power.

I Corinthians 11:28-29
Let a {woman or} man [thoroughly] examine himself, and [only when he has done] so should he eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discriminating and recognizing with due appreciation that [it is Christ’s] body, eats and drinks a sentence (a verdict of judgment) upon himself. [Amplified]

I encountered the word “examen” for the first time while reading Richard Foster’s book, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home some years ago. It’s no “navel gazing,” far from it. Foster says, “In the examen of consciousness we prayerfully reflect on the thoughts, feelings, and actions of our days to see how God has been at work among us and how we responded. . . . God goes with us in the examen of conscience. It is a joint search. . . . if left to our own devices . . . our tendency is for self-flagellation.”

Examen is not about tying ourselves to the whipping post, it’s about seeing ourselves in truth, with love. It’s the time when we can begin to lay down our burdens and failures at the feet of the Christ.

In recent times, I have taken to the practice of examen at the start of my devotions each day. I ask forgiveness for my mistakes [sins] and give thanks for the successes, those times I responded to situations and people in loving way. Only then, can I really begin to pray forward.

Communion should be the same, but perhaps a little deeper, a broader swipe over the time since the last opportunity to eat and drink of Christ.

What has gone before is the foundation of who I am today. And my future is built on both, the past and present. If I ignore the past, then I may be setting myself up for repeating it, doing the same things again and again? It was Albert Einstein who said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I cannot change unless I know what part needs changing. I cannot go on a diet and lose weight if I don’t know my starting weight, otherwise, how will I know the difference? I must be willing to face and accept my authentic self. Like the recovering alcoholic, we too must “Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” [step 4 of the 12 steps]

The prayer of examen, particularly at the time of communion, is a photograph. I must let God see the true picture, not one that’s been airbrushed or “photoshopped.” And like a flipbook, only God gets to see the flapping of pages and photos that represent my progress over the years. God knows my whole story.