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Archive for the ‘Christmas Through Epiphany’ Category

Desire is Not Enough

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2010| 1 Comment »

I want to do the right thing. I want to be a good mother, wife, and friend. I want to choose well. But truthfully, my “trying” and my desire are not enough.

Romans 7:15; 18b
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. . . . I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

As long as I am trying and doing and choosing in my own strength, I am behaving just like an alcoholic, promising myself and others that I’ll do better “next time.” This is the point of decision: do I keep trying to do it myself or abandon this tactic and truly give myself over to that “higher power?”

Even though I have surrendered a great deal of my life, I am still hanging on to a lot of details. I am still hanging on to what “I want to do” with my life and what my kids should be doing. I am still controlling. I keep taking back the reins particularly when I look around and the environment has become unfamiliar.

God is actually about change. And although I say I love change, it’s change under my control and understanding that I love: change that doesn’t touch the heart of me.

But now, I see, that God is moving me toward the next level. It’s time to move into new terrain.

I have said again and again that I want more intimacy with God in Christ. So, now, I stand at the door. When I open this door, my ability to control the outcome is negligible. My hand is on the latch.

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More About Sin

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 11, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It takes me ten minutes to figure out one verse out of Romans 7. Sin, sin, sin . . . law, law, law. Does it matter anymore? Is sin just a “church” word?

Romans 7:7
What then do we conclude? Is the Law identical with sin? Certainly not! Nevertheless, if it had not been for the Law, I should not have recognized sin or have known its meaning. [For instance] I would not have known about covetousness [would have had no consciousness of sin or sense of guilt] if the Law had not [repeatedly] said, You shall not covet and have an evil desire [for one thing and another]. [Amplified]

I’m not sure how much more I can write about sin. I looked back over my other meditations and there are already quite a few, What is Sin?, and Sin is EOE, and if anyone wants to read other blogs on sin, have at it, there’s reading for a full day.

Personally, I think Paul beats this idea to death. I get it, honestly. Without the law, we wouldn’t know about sin. And without sin, we wouldn’t know that sin kills our body, mind & soul (eventually), and without knowing we die from our sin, we wouldn’t know we need grace (a savior) just to survive.

When Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” [Matthew 5:48], he actually meant that. It’s the only way to have an intimate relationship with God.

Oh, if anyone thinks I don’t mean that. Think again. That is the whole point. We can’t be perfect. Everyone breaks the law. We break the laws of God, we break the man-made laws of the land. We can’t even get the basics right: “love your neighbor as yourself.” If we did, there would be no orphans, no homelessness, no poverty, no starving people, no unemployment. There would be enough for everyone. The earth can supply our basic needs. But, human as we are, we want more than that. The evidence of our lawbreaking is everywhere.

Lawbreaking crosses cultures and religions. People who love Allah or Buddha or Brahma or Vishnu or Shiva (or any of the 300 million gods and ancestors that abound in this world), still break the laws, mandates, and guidelines of their faiths. There is always a cost. For some faiths, the cost is higher than another.

In reality, the Judeo-Christian faiths have the highest cost: death. It’s the reason for all those sacrifices. Jews only stopped sacrificing animals because they lost their holy place. But their law clearly states that blood sacrifice is a necessary substitute for breaking the law.

And the same is true for Christianity. The only difference is that the Messiah, the anointed one, the Christ came to be that sacrifice for all. This is the point that Paul was driving home, again and again and again.

So now that Christ Jesus made this sacrifice, I am asked to confess our sins to him. My sins still require the covering of a blood sacrifice. This is weird stuff really. It all seems so archaic.

But what would our world look like without any of it? No laws, no rules, no order? Anarchy doesn’t work. Instead, some kind of order rises up, and usually, in these situations, it’s the biggest, strongest dog in the pack.

Who is my pack leader? Who is my Master? Who is my Dictator? Who is my Savior? Who is my King? Who is my sacrifice? Who indeed? I gave my answer thirty years ago, before I even understood the full impact of my decision. But I thank God that I can say I am a slave, by choice, to Christ Jesus. Handmaiden of the Lord.

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Serve in the New Way

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It’s been 2000 (+/-) years since the Christ died and rose again and Paul wrote his epistles, and yet, Christians are still struggling with the “new way” of the Spirit. I am no different.

Romans 7:6
But now, by dying [in Christ] to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

The struggle is caused by the domino design: one piece depends on the other. In order to do anything by the Spirit, one has to be in tune with the Spirit, that is, able to hear/feel/see the Spirit within. Another word for this is “abiding.” And in order to abide in Christ, we must know Christ. And to know Christ, we must spend time with Christ.

To serve in the “new way,” I must respond to the promptings of the Spirit to act. Service is action, love, and generally, outside my personal space. Service implies work that benefits “the other.”

One irony is that I am already serving. I mean, I am busy! My daytime job is service-based and I am spending 40 plus hours a week helping patrons and staff get the information and materials they need or want. I am a volunteer and serve on several committees and Boards. I am a Bible teacher and serve at my church. I am a mother/wife and serve my family (sometimes with joy but too often with that “unappreciated” feeling of irritation).

Am I serving in the new way? I don’t know. I don’t think so. There isn’t much room for serving at the prompting of the Spirit. Either I am too busy to hear or just too busy to add another task to my calendar.

I don’t want to drop into the “shoulds” of service. That’s not my intent. But I am saying I might be missing something better, sweeter, and more meaningful. There is freedom in the Way but there is also guidance. It’s not the rigidity of the law but wisdom.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” [James 1:5]

So be it. Give me wisdom oh God, that I might hear your still small voice and respond to the needs of others with grace and sensitivity. Guide my service.

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Sin is EOE

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2010| 1 Comment »

An Equal Opportunity Employer–that’s sin! Equal pay for equal work. Totally fair. Which is why I am so grateful for the gift of grace that continues giving even when I screw up.

Romans 6:23
For the wages which sin pays is death, but the [bountiful] free gift of God is eternal life through (in union with) Jesus Christ our Lord. [Amplified]

As a new Christian, I never understood the parable about the laborers who were hired throughout the day and paid equally, whether they started at the beginning of the day or at the very end [Matthew 20:1-16]. It all seemed so “unfair.” But now I see, first of all, that I am one of the “late in the day” laborers; and, secondly, this is the whole point–this is how grace works.

The sowing and reaping principle is in place for everyone. Other religions teach sowing and reaping as well, but perhaps by a different name like Karma. Like energy, what we expend comes back to us in equal parts. The only thing that can block the full force of this cycle is the cross of Christ, the ultimate sacrifice. The sacrifices required in Jewish law were a foretelling of the work of the Messiah.

What is sin? So many think of the most dire deeds as sin like killing someone or stealing or breaking some other secular law. “I am basically a good person,” they say. And because of this human tendency (described very well in the story of Adam and Eve), God provided a “law” or code of conduct to help people see how far we are from the “mark.”

It is so much easier to observe the misconduct of others. But the the mirror of Christ allows us to see more accurately our own missteps and our self-preserving tactics (preserving “face,” preserving our standards of living, etc). There are lots of forms of sin, some easily detected, others hidden in the heart. But, in any case, all sin is covered by grace. This is where my confidence lies. Otherwise, I would be truly lost.

I hold to the tether of Christ’s mantle.

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Slave to Confession

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2010| 1 Comment »

Our culture recoils at the word “slave.” Our corporate guilt over the many peoples we have enslaved compels us to resist. As a result, we overlook our own “state of enslavement.”

Romans 6:16
Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? [NKJV]

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I am still a slave to the wrong voice in my heart. I listen more often than I should to the voice that says, “Oh, what the heck! Why not?” or “Might as well… ” or “Who will know?” This voice gives me permission to indulge myself by eating too much or wasting time in front of the television or daydreaming myself into discontentment about my life. This voice would encourage me to have an affair or get a divorce. This voice is sarcastic and mocking. This voice is relentless.

The slavery begins when I listen. The slavery intensifies when I act. The slavery becomes a yoke around my neck over time.

But the Spirit carries the sword of truth and can slash through that yoke. The Spirit of Christ is my champion. There is only one hitch: the Spirit is also a Master, a benevolent Master, if I choose to follow, believe and confess.

“Obedience” is really a form of confession. To be a slave to confession is a powerful and transformative process. I am not very good at obeying because I keep making mistakes. But anyone can be good at confessing and as the breath of forgiveness and grace blows over me, I grow strong enough to step away from sin, to close my inner ear to that other voice, to turn toward the light.

I can be a slave to confession.

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Body Parts

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2010| 1 Comment »

As soon as the Bible mentions “body parts,” everyone’s mind goes right to sex. And yes, there is a lot to be said about sex and its abuses. But there are other misused body parts that do equal damage to the soul. . .

Romans 6:13
Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.

The tongue is the number one culprit in my life. This is the body part that is constantly leaning toward wickedness and does much damage. If I could keep my words corralled and dedicated to God, what a difference it would make. Instead, my mouth goes into 3rd gear while my mind is still in “park.” I have actually warned people that I think out loud. I hear my out loud thoughts and then massage the ideas. In a brainstorming session, I can be a true asset: Blurt Out Brown.

But this type of talking can do harm when it turns into gossip. I can’t even say it’s always malicious gossip. It’s the constant telling and retelling of a story where I might have been on the short end. And unconsciously, every time I tell that story, the perpetrator gets more stupid and I am more wrongly maligned. The listener nods and “tsk-tsks” and I feel vindicated to tell the story again. Oh shame.

There are other abuses of the tongue: cattiness, sarcasm, complaint, crudeness, name-calling, and lies (to name a few).

As I think about it more, it’s clear the tongue is but a slave to another, more secret master: the mind. It is the mind that fans the flame and directs the tongue to speak, to answer, or to attack. The mind is the “first responder.”

I love the fact that I have an active mind. I am relatively smart and I can process a lot of data. I am creative and I am facile. But this same mind that has served me well has also spent a lot of time on the “dark side.” It’s time to flood my mind with the light.

I confess my sinful tongue and ask forgiveness for the damage it has done. Oh Lord, Guard my mouth this day. Show me how to offer my words to you before they leave my mouth.

Sensitize my mind to the sacred other that I might not inflict my wounds. Hold my judging thoughts and sift them before they can take root. Take the memories I have used to justify my resentments or anger toward others.

Take my life and let it be consecrated to you.

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Small Deaths

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2010| 1 Comment »

As a believer, I am promised a new life when I accept Christ’s sacrifice (his death) as the propitiation (satisfactory compensation) for my sin. Although the sacrifice is enough, my ability to embrace the truth of it in daily life is wanting.

Romans 6:3, 5
Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? . . . If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection.

I firmly believe the faith walk is a process. And although our beloved Messiah did everything necessary to repair the separation between God and us, I am still learning how to walk the new path (the Way). I struggle with the paradox: death = life. I tend to hold onto what is familiar instead of letting those parts of me die.

I understand in my head that I must be more like the seed that dies before the plant will grow. Instead, I keep trying to be the best seed I can be. I’m missing out on the real transformation.

But God is patient. My old nature, my old self, is in various partitions and states of renewal. Gradually, sections do die. And with each small death, new life finds root. This is sanctification, my rite of passage from death to life.

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