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A Groaning Spirit

February 20, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

Sometimes, I don’t know how to pray, not for myself or for anyone else. But there is this promise that the Spirit within knows exactly how to intercede. That is a great comfort to me.

Romans 8:26b
. . . We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

I did not realize until I meditated on these verses (Romans 8:26-28) that the Spirit within is not just praying or interceding on my behalf, but praying in a particular way: according to God’s will.

Mike and I used to joke around a lot about a teaching we once heard by a Jamaican/English minister from Florida, Peter Lord, long since off the scene. This particular teaching was called “How to … ‘ah’ … hear … ‘ah’ … God’s voice.” The message was good, but his delivery always cracked us up. This was all the rage back then: trying to ‘ah’ hear God’s voice.

But now I understand that I don’t have to struggle to hear God’s voice in order to be led in the right direction. The Holy Spirit, always with me, is already lined up with God’s will and praying for me. I may not understand the words. I may not understand the sounds, the whispers, the groaning, but I can be confident in the intent.

I think the harsh voice of condemnation has tried to bend my Christian journey into something far more grueling than necessary. I keep forgetting the promised “lighter yoke” [Matthew 11:30].

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Waiting in Hope

February 19, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

Hope and patience are partners. They are the ones who sit with us when we are waiting for the change to come. Hope implies change.

Romans 8:24-25
For in [this] hope we were saved. But hope [the object of] which is seen is not hope. For how can one hope for what he already sees? But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure. [Amplified]

Chapter 8 of Romans is really quite mystical as Paul deliberates on all of creation waiting for the ultimate redemption when humans become like Jesus, when humans become complete and our own triune natures become truly One. How else would it be possible for the lion to eat with the lamb and “. . . they shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.” [Isaiah 11:9]

How else can we wait but in patience? We cannot make this happen. We can only do our small part in this age of transformation: give ourselves fully to the hope and walk today in faith.

In the Cursillo communities, they say our Christian walk is supported by a three-legged stool: piety (prayer), study (word), and action (works). I believe this too. But before, these three can take root, one must be sure that three other legs are in place: faith, hope, and love.

Piety, study, and action are disciplines and should be natural outgrowths of our faith and love. Our strength to persevere comes from our hope. It’s active waiting.

I choose to walk and wait in hope this day. Keep me mindful. Keep me in the moment.

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All Creation is Waiting

February 19, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

I love this idea of creation waiting for something momentous to happen: the spiritual rebirth of its humans. Despite all of the sorrow that people have brought to the earth, we can still redeem it.

Romans 8:18
The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons [and daughters] of God to be revealed.

The trick to this redemption is in the our discovery of the Christ spirit within. When human beings come into their perfection, creation will do the same. That’s all so mysterious and “woo-woo” but I still like the idea.

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Suffering = Love

February 17, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

In this passage from Romans, Paul writes that suffering goes hand in hand with glory. On this Ash Wednesday, it seems befitting to ask “what is suffering?”

Romans 8:17
Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Much attention is paid to Christ’s ultimate sacrifice on the cross as his primary moment of suffering. And of course, that is true. He gave everything he had that day and died that we might become “heirs,” eligible for direct relationship with the Father–children.

But is that the suffering we are to duplicate? Some answer that we are to understand that Christ’s death on the cross symbolizes the sacrifices that we are to make on behalf of others. The implication is that those sacrifices will cause suffering. And that can happen.

I am thinking of simpler things today. I am considering other examples of Jesus’ suffering like the pain of rejection, sorrow, misunderstandings, false accusations, hatred, and attacks by crowds. His every word was scrutinized and his enemies were always trying to trip him up. Oh sure, the crowds followed and adored him but they were fickle. They marveled at his miracles but missed the message. They accepted the free food but missed the bread of life. For me, his greatest suffering was the pouring out of himself each day with little to nothing in return. He suffered in his love for us.

That’s right. Loving the unlovely is painful. Loving those who don’t want to love you back is a struggle. Loving when we are tired, feeling sick, or lonely is a challenge.

But there is a promised reward for loving in this way: glory. Our pastor says that glory is really the light or expression that comes from a fully formed character. Perhaps that is true.

Certainly, loving unconditionally brings change within. Loving unconditionally requires authenticity. This kind of love cannot be faked. As I become more transparent, even translucent, only then can the true glory, the Spirit of Christ become evident.

Teach me your Way, O Christ.

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Mind Games

February 15, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

When people say, “it’s all in your head,” that’s more true than not. The mind is at the core of who we are. The mind is quite mystical and unpredictable. The mind thrives within, not just in the head, but also in the heart, the gut, and the soul.

Romans 8:6
Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever]. [Amplified]

The mind is also a lover. The question is with whom or what? The mind can be seduced. The mind can be fooled. The mind can be capricious (changing from one behavior to another). The mind can be a slut or a saint.

Joyce Meyer has an entire video series on the “Battlefield of the Mind” but sometimes I think it’s a little more like “speed dating.” Going from one thing/person to another, the mind is looking for the current fit, the “feel good,” the curious, the challenging, or the appealing.

Thank God the Spirit is patient.

It is in the mind that the story of Hosea and Gomer is truly played out on a regular basis. Gomer, the prostitute, who breaks covenant with her prophet husband, and yet, he forgives her again and again.

My mind is too much like Gomer. I am linked by promise to the Spirit, and yet I stray. Each year, I stray less and less. As my mind becomes more submissive, by choice, to the loving Spirit, the relationship strengthens. My mind is becoming more content.

God is teaching me how to feed my mind with prayer, scripture, music, reading, nature’s beauty, koinonia relationships, love, hope, rest, and solitude. When I feed my mind well, I am not so hungry for the “next new thing.” When I am disciplined and consistent, my mind experiences peace.

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Condemnation from the pit of hell

February 14, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

The voice of condemnation is one of the most debilitating inner monologues a person might endure. From accusation to disapproval to contempt and reproach, the effect of this voice is like a nail head pounded by a persistent hammer. This isn’t how God speaks.

Romans 8:1a
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…

I used to think this voice was my conscience speaking. Not so. Condemnation is straight from the pit of hell and I learned it the hard way.

Condemnation speaks through some of the most unsuspecting ways like perfectionism and accidental human error and lack of knowledge.

Where grace would abound, condemnation vied for greater attention.

Every mistake I made would get exaggerated in the retelling within. Every thoughtless word I said or was said to me was repeated a million times in my head. Every criticism (kind or otherwise) was blown out of proportion.

I became bound by this persistent voice.

How did I get set free? Confession. Truth telling in prayer. An open heart. Grace. Forgiveness. Faith.

All of these intertwined and became my safety net, my inner audio filter. This the Spirit did for me . . . does for me still. Thanks be to God.

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Desire is Not Enough

February 12, 2010 by Irmgarde Brown

I want to do the right thing. I want to be a good mother, wife, and friend. I want to choose well. But truthfully, my “trying” and my desire are not enough.

Romans 7:15; 18b
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. . . . I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

As long as I am trying and doing and choosing in my own strength, I am behaving just like an alcoholic, promising myself and others that I’ll do better “next time.” This is the point of decision: do I keep trying to do it myself or abandon this tactic and truly give myself over to that “higher power?”

Even though I have surrendered a great deal of my life, I am still hanging on to a lot of details. I am still hanging on to what “I want to do” with my life and what my kids should be doing. I am still controlling. I keep taking back the reins particularly when I look around and the environment has become unfamiliar.

God is actually about change. And although I say I love change, it’s change under my control and understanding that I love: change that doesn’t touch the heart of me.

But now, I see, that God is moving me toward the next level. It’s time to move into new terrain.

I have said again and again that I want more intimacy with God in Christ. So, now, I stand at the door. When I open this door, my ability to control the outcome is negligible. My hand is on the latch.

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