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Walking on Water

June 9, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

John 6:19
When they [the disciples] had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified.

Here are a few questions about this passage:

  1. Why did the disciples leave without Jesus? Did he tell them to leave?
  2. Why did Jesus walk to them on the water? Was it just more convenient or was he showing them a truth?
  3. Did they think He had abandoned them?
  4. Whose idea was it?
  5. Why were they afraid?

So far, in all six of the early chapters in the book of John, Jesus was telling the crowds AND the disciples who he was. He was establishing his authority.

He is still doing the same thing with us, but we don’t recognize Him. I am listening to a light fantasy book for young people and one of the characters says that “humans” can’t see through the mist. They see what they want to see.

Look, Jesus is walking on the water today!

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Ears to Hear

June 8, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

Mark 8:18
Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember?

Who wants to confess that he/she can’t hear? Or worse, can’t see? And worse still, can’t remember what has gone before? Jesus asked these questions of his disciples in intimate settings where they, alone, were present. I think he was always a little surprised that they weren’t “getting it.” I assume the disciples were having trouble because Jesus was showing and teaching them things outside of the norm.

When we see or hear something outside of our experience, it takes awhile to integrate it into our mindset. In dreams, we are more capable of this integration. I think about the number of times I’ve awakened to discover the music from my alarm or a loud storm have become part of my dream (but not as an alarm or a storm, as something totally different).

In the gospels, the word “listen” appears at least 30 times. Either Jesus is exhorting the people to listen or someone else is encouraging others to listen to Jesus. To listen and integrate requires one’s full attention. While in church yesterday, I sensed God was showing me that I don’t listen enough… that I literally talk too much. I have been suffering from severe TMJ for some weeks (yesterday, it was so extreme, I couldn’t even sing without pain). I feel there is something symbolic in that… too much talking and not enough listening.

Lord, tame my tongue today and teach me to listen. Forgive my stubborn ways.

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Genuine Praise

June 6, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

John 5:41-42
I do not accept praise from men, but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts.

Praise can be given but has no value if it is not accepted. Genuine praise must come from the depths of the heart. It is grounded in truth and love for the other. Anything else is self-serving.

It comes back to motive. Why do we praise others unless we really want them to be lifted up? Genuine praise comes from genuine humility.

And so, it is really quite simple: we are challenged to get the heart right before we give out from there. Praise that comes from the heart is full of power. It is truly about the “other” and not about self. Once we can tap into this authentic love, praise will come naturally.

Lord, fill my heart so that praise becomes a natural expression… for you and for others. This is my prayer.

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Nothing to Lose

June 5, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

Luke 21:2-3
He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “I tell you the truth,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others.”

The hard part of giving is struggling with our desire to keep the stuff. At least, that’s one of my issues. I grew up fairly poor. My mother was a widow who somehow managed to raise two children on less than $10,000 a year. And yet, she always provided food on the table, invited people to our table who were less fortunate than we were, and always had cut flowers in our home and on her desk to give cheer and hope to others.

She gave out of what she had: her love for beauty, her time, her enthusiasm, her hope.

Although I have managed to attain a middle class lifestyle, I find myself holding too tightly to the things that come with it. I am afraid of being poor again. And I know that fear betrays my confidence in God to take care of me. I am ashamed to admit it and even more afraid to say it: will I be tested through an unexpected loss?

The poor widow in Jesus’s story understood that she had nothing to lose, things could only get better.

This past weekend, my brother’s apartment was robbed. They took everything that had street value: all of his electronics, movies, music, jewelry (including his wedding ring), and other miscellaneous valuables. He is being stripped of so many tanglibles and like Job, he wants to know why. I have no answers.

But it is a wake up call for me. I am being challenged to simplify my life. If I can let go myself, then it may not be needful to wrench the stuff away. Oh Lord, forgive my stubborn holding on to the ephemeral things of life. Give me courage relinquish “stuff” and cherish, instead, relationships, love, joy, hope, transformation, and Spirit.

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Lamp is a Fire

June 4, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

John 24:35
John was a lamp that burned and gave light, and you chose for a time to enjoy his light.

A lamp gives light, but in those days, all lamps were fire that was fueled by something else. The fire was dependent on the fuel… usually oil. All of these words are used symbolically throughout the scriptures: lamp, fire, light, oil. They all go together and are combined to give a strong picture of what must happen within.

One of my favorite songs is “Refiner’s Fire” (based on Malachi 3:2). The message is simple: my prayer is to be holy … and the only way to be holy is to be refined by the fire of God…. purified.

John the baptizer had this fire within, gifted directly by God. It was this fire that drew others to him. The people recognized that fire. But John said that one was coming who would not just baptize with water, but with fire… one Christ Jesus. He would give pour out this fire directly from the “one who sent him,” [God]. This fire, then, is given when we invite Jesus to dwell within. He comes as a fire with the oil of the Holy Spirit that continually fuels the fire, continually refines our souls. [2 Chronicles 7:1] Sometimes, that fire can cause pain.

So often, I see myself trying to hang onto the ashes that have been burned away by the fire. But they are worthless, really. Sometimes the pain is by my feeble efforts to protect or “save” the parts He is trying to burn away. But it is then I realize that the best part remains. That part cannot be burned. Gold must be purified to be gold. The soul must be purified to be holy. Amen.

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Accepting Story

June 2, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

John 3:33
The man [or woman] who has accepted it [his testimony] has certified that God is truthful.

Everyone has a story but until it is heard or accepted, it has no power. This is true for anything we hear, including gossip, television news, blog postings, sermons, chit-chat, memories, songs, entertainment, explanations and so on. It is really just a story until we integrate it into ourselves. There is a point of choice with everything we hear. We can accept the story and thereby validate it within or we can reject it. Once it is is integrated, it becomes our truth.

Unfortunately, we also fall prey to habit. We often accept a story as true without giving it much thought. Or, sometimes, we accept what we hear as true simply because of the source. The source may not always be authoritative, but we don’t like to question or investigate its authority. That takes effort and may shake up our norms.

One of the best tools I received from acting school was to ask questions of a story: both in speech and text. What does this mean? What are all the possibilities? How do I interpret these words? Why does this story touch me so deeply? What do I fear? Why do I care? Does this story resonant with me? Why? Who is telling this story? What is the point of this story?

Jesus told many stories. He told stories to teach concepts and he told stories to prepare fallow ground for truth. He told stories to break down barriers and he told stories to reveal himself to others. He told stories to explore the meanings of words like “kingdom of God” and “eternal life” and “forgiveness.” He told stories to explain his purpose on earth. He told stories to explain his identity.

It is possible to go through life and never accept or integrate Jesus story into our lives. But that did not happen to me. I decided 30 years ago to accept the stories that are recorded about Jesus and his message. I believe Jesus is who he says he is. I believe Jesus spoke true….both then and now.

As a result, my story is an expression of his story within me…. just as his story is an expression of God within him. This does not mean that I have stopped asking questions. In fact, if anything, I am asking more than ever. And His story prevails.

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First Fruits at Pentecost

May 31, 2009 by Irmgarde Brown

Acts 2:1
When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.

Pentecost, in Old Testament times, was actually considered a Feast Day. It was a day to bring the “first fruits” of the harvest to the Lord. It was offered in thanksgiving of what had been given to the people.

This day, we are celebrating the high school graduation of our oldest son. In many ways, he is our first fruit. He was a gift of God to us and and now we return him to the will and way of God. He turns 18 in a few more weeks and then he’ll be off to college, seeking his own future, making many of his own choices. Thanks be to God for the gift of our son.

Sergei was a foundling on the streets of Riga, Latvia. He has a few memories of his life in that country, but not many. At one time, he had a family there, but he does not remember how he was separated from them. He was in a boys’ gang for awhile on the street, but he doesn’t really remember how long… it could have been a day, a week, or even longer. When he was found by the police, he was taken to the orphanage and given a birth date and a name on June 27th. On January 21st, 1998, he entered the United States with a new name and a new family. He was chosen by God for a new life.

We gather today as a family to celebrate his harvest…. and God is with us.

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