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Fallow Ground

Matthew 13: 3-9
Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.”

Despite all that I have done this past year, two bible studies, regular devotions, bible reading, etc., I still come to the Lord today with a heart that feels fallow. I think so much of what I have learned and heard has washed away like water that cannot be absorbed in a hard pan of soil. We are known by our fruit… I know that. So, where is the fruit. (Reminds me of that old fast food commercial where the little old lady would look straight at the camera and say, “Where’s the beef?”) I feel the same way. Where’s the fruit?

Of course, I am also an impatient cuss! Perhaps the soil is not fallow… perhaps the seeds have been planted and are merely waiting for the right moment to sprout. Open my ears this day Lord that I might hear you. Water the garden of my heart.

Like a Little Child

“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children….” Matthew 11:25

This is my first request, that God would draw me to Him like a little child, for it is only then, I believe, that I will be most open to seeing, believing, trusting, and knowing Him. I have two pictures of myself as a little girl, quite faded now, in black and white, sitting at my father’s desk. In one, I am diligently writing. But, in the second, I have lifted my pen and my face to the camera and I am so full of joy. It is an “aha” moment for the little girl. Discovery! Success! Connection!

Children are easy vessels. What is poured in is easily poured out. That is, until the world teaches them to dissemble. May this time “in Christ” be a time of transparency. Reveal yourself to me, O God, that I might reveal You within me to others.

Fat Tuesday

OK… this is it. No more diet cokes (or sodas) after tonight. Does that sound like a little thing to you? Not me. If it’s true that we are to “add” a prayer for each time we “give up” something for Christ during the Lenten season… I will be quite prayed up.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday… let us begin a short journey into the Word … may He anoint my writing for the sake of the Body…

Preparing for Lent

In a few short days, it will once again be the time of Lent. It is my desire to once again do a series of devotions during this special time of the year. I believe the Lord is leading me to creating these posts from my personal devotions while slowly reading through the scriptures. In essence, all of the posts will be coming from the three gospels I have completed so far (well 2 1/2). For any of you who have been following this blog, I appreciate your prayers and support.

Keys of the Kingdom

Weekend message was actually quite provocative for me as Pastor elaborated on Matthew 16:19, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

And I thought about the process of using those keys to bring others to and through the door of the kingdom… the door Christ Jesus, the kingdom of God. And I began fantasizing even more about the “events” that would be authentic enough to reveal the heart of the matter… where the invitation into the kingdom would not be cliche, but mezmerizing and creative and thought-provoking and unexpected and tantalizing and refreshing and hope-filled and loving!!!!!

I have been a Christ follower almost 30 years! And yet I remember my “sinner’s prayer” where I, alone in my brother’s guest room on Christmas Eve, confessed that I believed the Word of God to be true, that Jesus was indeed who He said He was, and that mysteriously, what He did on the cross was significant and meaningful and life-changing … for me! And so, I asked that I might become a follower of Jesus… the door opened. But before I went in, I had one proviso … just don’t make me a Christian.

When I tell this story, everyone laughs… somehow, it resonates… they know what I mean. But here’s the sad part: somehow, it still feels that way. Oh, there have been long seasons where I have worn the mantle very well, but there have also been times when I have bristled under it’s narrow confines.

Today, more than ever … if I am going to be one of the holders of the keys … then I just want to use it to open the door, not hand out the rules. The way is narrow enough without me adding my versions of stumbling blocks.

On Love 2

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:4-7

So, guess what!? If there’s any doubt about how I am acting or what I am receiving from others, I have a basic checklist right here. If I’m not sure about someone’s “love language” or I’m not sure if the other person has been damaged emotionally, I can start here. No excuses.

If I could just grasp fully the first two! If I could just be patient and kind toward everyone… including my family… and that includes my teenagers! If I can’t get passed patient and kind, how am I going to tackle the more difficult attributes of love like trust, protection, hope & perseverance?

Funny. And then how am I ever going to avoid this great list of what love is “not?” I don’t know. I really don’t know. I am so grateful that there is a God who is showing patience and kindness towards me and not just rolling his eyes!

On Love 1

So, we’ve arrived at the 8th and last of the “steps” that Peter laid out in II Peter 1:3-11 to build or sustain a person’s faith over time.

I have always appreciated Pastor Craig’s definition of love as “doing what’s best for another person.” This is his definition of how we truly walk out agape love and that is a love whose source is the deepest place of the heart and comes about as a result of a conscious choice to love, not from a feeling.

I also like a book title I remember from my college days, “Love is a Verb.” Very simply, this phrase says it all: love carries actions with it. The hard part is accepting that loving others, acting in someone else’s best interests, and reaching out to them may not always be reciprocated. Love has to be rooted in our love for Christ or we will often feel like we are coming up short.

Pastor Craig says we are here on earth to love. And although I’m sure he is correct, I don’t believe we, as humans, are doing this very well. We certainly want to “be loved” and to “feel love” but we are not so quick to do the loving ourselves. There is too much chance for pain.

This is really the same point of view I shared On Brotherly Affection 3. If agape love is from the deepest place of the heart but we have walled off our heart for fear of being hurt or disappointed, our love is pretty puny. We keep our love “safe.” We don’t take risks. We don’t forgive.

Pastor Craig laid out a few helps to learning how to love… and the first one and most important is knowing and trusting that we are in the hands of God. This understanding is key to all of the steps we have discussed these past 50 days with Christ. Each element, whether it is faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, or love, must be rooted in our security that God is sovereign and God is loving (doing what is best for me) me and God is forgiving.