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Posts Tagged ‘betrayal’

No Lie

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »

How do I convince someone that what I’m saying is the truth? I mean, really! People lie all the time. Show me a person who says he/she doesn’t lie and I’ll show you someone who is lying. It’s human nature: a slight embellishment, a minor distortion, a self-protection. And yet, when it’s really important . . .

Galatians 1:11, 20
I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up. . . . I assure you before God that what I am writing you is no lie.

How can I “make” someone believe me? Answer? I can’t.

“I believe you” must first be built on a foundation of trust. If trust is missing or lost, all bets are off. As soon as trust is broken, it’s a very long road back to acceptance. Betrayal is the antithesis of trust. They cannot co-exist.

In Galatians, Paul is trying to remind those churches of the bedrock he laid down for them while he was among them. Jesus did the same thing before his final sacrifice, he built trust and believability. He didn’t just walk up to people and say, “By the way, I’m the Son of God and I’ll be dying for your sins.” He would have been led to the nearest loony bin.

It’s really a simple equation: to the degree that I trust a person, it’s the same degree to which I will believe.

I trust God. I trust Christ.

But here’s what I’m thinking. The next time I don’t believe someone, I need to figure out what would change my mind. What is my criteria for trust? And the same in reverse. When someone doesn’t believe me, I must ask, “what do you need from me to believe me?” If there is no paradigm, then I can’t shift it. If the person cannot articulate what is needed to bring change, no change can happen. And that reality works both ways as well.

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Beguiled

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2010| Leave a Comment »

There is a dramatic difference between the one who has been beguiled and the one doing the beguiling. Historically, I have used this word for its second meaning (to pass time pleasantly) and assumed its first meaning had a lighthearted coyness to it. Not so. It’s betrayal . . . and it’s intentional.

II Corinthians 11:3
But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived [beguiled in Amplified] by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

I don’t believe our children (whether they are sixteen or twenty-six) know they are being beguiled away from the faith. I see the world ensnaring them (and others) into believing they need all the “stuff.” They are bombarded with extremely convincing advertising that insists they are less because they need more: electronics, apps, screens, gadgets, clothing that advertises the store where it was purchased, ever-changing styles that make last year’s apparel uncool, high-powered jobs and income, and so on.

In order to compete, the “church” tries to lure these generations by using the same tools and tricks of the culture. Is that a good thing? I don’t know. Maybe. If young people begin to examine within and look for greater meaning, that has merit. Can it still be a bad thing? Does the end justify the means? I really don’t have an answer, I just have questions. It’s only the individual’s heart and soul that matter. The inner life, that inner discovery happens alone. No accoutrement is needed.

Betrayal is one of the deepest hurts of all. I have been hurt by people of the church.

We must be careful how we “woo” people to the Lord. A person should not be beguiled into the faith, as though following Christ is like taking a happy pill. It’s not.

The journey with Christ is not easier, it’s different, under girded with hope, assurance, and traditionally, with fellowship (other people who care and love). The end of the journey is known, but the path itself is still laden with challenges.

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Cost of Betrayal

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 19:11b
“…Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.” [Jesus speaking to Pilate]

Although Jesus knew that one of his followers would betray him, the suffering was still heavy to bear. Imagine, in this scene, Jesus tells Pilate that Judas, who betrayed him, has committed a greater sin than Pilate who would be condemning Jesus to death. I believe the chief priests, who brought Jesus to Pilate, were also betrayers. They twisted the truth to achieve their own goals. As leaders of the faith, they betrayed the people.

I have experienced betrayal and I can testify to the depth of such pain. To give someone trust, to open the heart and expose it willingly to someone, and then have it crushed through betrayal is a misery like no other.

Love is a contract. Relationship is a contract. Friendship is a contract. It may not be a written one, like a marriage vow or certificate, and yet, as the onion layers of our hearts are removed in order to love more deeply, we are placing more and more trust in that contract. Contracts of this kind are strengthened by our transparency and destroyed by lies and deception.

And yet, love requires that we accept the possibility of betrayal. This is the greatest challenge of all. Once injured by betrayal, the tendency is to protect the heart from another incursion. But love is anemic without trust and vulnerability. It is not love at all.

Jesus loved Judas despite the eventual betrayal. Jesus loved all the disciples, knowing they would fail him and flee. Jesus loved Peter who denied him three times in a single night.

Our only safety in loving others is Christ. He is the healer of betrayed hearts. Without his presence within the heart, we will develop a heart of stone. It all starts innocently enough, a protective shield from the disappointments and betrayals we have experienced over the years, but eventually, if left to our own devices, the protective layer begins to soak through and our hearts are hardened. This is the highest cost of betrayal.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart…” [Psalm 51:17a] The heart of stone must be broken in order for healing to begin. [Ezekiel 36:26]

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How Many Rooster Crows?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on August 6, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 13:38b
“…I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!”

Living in the city, I don’t really hear roosters crowing. And yet, I do resonant with the idea that each morning, roosters herald the dawn and a new day. But how many mornings have I betrayed the very God I love through inattention and disregard? How often have I “disowned” Him from fear?

There is a powerful skit I used to perform for small groups where Jesus would surprise me one morning when I was getting ready to go to work, but running late. I reasoned with Him, since we didn’t have time to sit down together, He could stick around, have a cup of coffee, and we would connect later that day. Instead, He offered to go with me to work. I thought that was inappropriate. I suggested He visit my next door neighbor now and then we could visit later. And so on the skit would go until I ended up getting really angry and “nailing” him to the wall so he would stop pestering me since I was so busy.

Or, perhaps the rooster crowed and caught me on a day after I disowned the Lord like Peter because I was afraid. The fears that cause my betrayals are not the same ones that Peter had. My life has never been threatened because of my faith. I am usually afraid of others and their opinion of me. Too often, I have chosen silence when it would be better to speak. I have looked the other way in the face of sin or need. I have indulged myself and my children and we have dipped our feet into the world while others suffer.

Slowly, I am changing. I am getting better about hearing the rooster crow as a call to prayer. I am seeing Jesus in the people I meet. I am waking up.

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Betrayal for Everyone

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on August 5, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 13:21
After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me.”

And Judas didn’t bat an eye. He saw the whole thing differently than everyone else. In his mind, it wasn’t betrayal. He was helping move things along. He thought he had the “big picture.” He thought the stars were aligned and Jesus needed to step up his game.

Can you imagine, with this mindset, what he must have thought when Jesus turned to him at table and said, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” [vs 27b] He probably viewed that as the “go-ahead.” Jesus was going to take the challenge and show everyone. He would reveal himself. He would become their king. He would overthrow the Romans. On and on his mind would have clamored.

Haven’t we all, at some point or another, justified our own actions in the same way? We convince ourselves that our choices are the right choices for the moment. From adultery to lying to theft and more, our reasoning allows it. In reality every sin is a type of betrayal against the other. If we commit adultery, we betray a spouse; if we lie, we betray the trust of the person receiving that lie; if we steal, we betray the owner… and so on.

Confronting the truth of betrayal means confronting ourselves and our motives. Betrayal is all about “me.” Judas ran from his betrayal and killed himself. This may have been his greatest sin of all. A betrayer can be redeemed but only with confession.

I have betrayed and it grieves my spirit today. I call on the love and grace of Christ Jesus to wash me in forgiveness. My only hope.

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Progressive Denial

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , on April 17, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 22:55-57
But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.” But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.

When Peter denied Christ in the courtyard, each denial escalated. First he denied knowing Jesus, then he denied being among the disciples and finally, he even denied being a Galilean. Sometimes, it takes this progression before we encounter the mirror of Christ.

I struggle with bad eating habits every day. As a result, my weight and well being are doing a ying-yang every few weeks. In the end, the culprit is in my head. It’s where the denial starts. I’ll have “one” cookie or “one” piece of candy, then later, I’ll be tired or feel cranky and therefore I “deserve” a treat, perhaps a granola bar (almost healthy) or two and by evening, I might as well have a quesadilla with chips, salsa, and guacamole since I’ve already blown it for the day (dare I mention the late night ice cream snack?).

Another example is my failed commitment to stay in touch with my distant relatives in Estonia and Germany. I have promised to call them and email regularly, but the day comes and goes and the call is not made, the email is not written and soon, so much time has passed that it feels too embarrassing to call or write at all. It’s a vicious cycle really.

This same progression can happen anywhere and anytime. It can happen with our prayer times, our reading, our plans to reach out to others, to attend church, to visit a friend… it doesn’t matter. One denial will lead to another. One lie will create another. One deception will birth another.

We’ll never know what would have happened if Peter had not denied Jesus that fateful night. Peter had projected out what he thought would happen… he feared for his life. How often do we project a false scenario of the future to justify our actions and decisions?

Today, I pray, let me not wait and deny the truth. Give me courage to face my self-betrayals and bring them into the Light of Christ.

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Jesus as Mirror

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , on April 16, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 22:48
… but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

Jesus often taught by asking questions, similar to Socrates. In this case, as a crowd came to the Mt. of Olives to arrest him, Jesus asked Judas to “see” himself, much like in a mirror.

More times than I would like to confess, I catch myself charging along with an idea and while caught up in the midst of it, I lose sight of myself and I lose sight of the big picture. What I really need is someone who can gently hold up a mirror to me. In some cases, I have been fortunate and a friend or a colleague at work have taken on the challenge. But more often, I am too “busy” to look. And so, it is only Jesus who can step in and reveal my truth. Sometimes, these revelations are painful. Sometimes, the damage has been done and all I can do is confess, ask forgiveness and move on. Sometimes, there is still time to step back, regroup, and correct my course.

The first time I married, I was only 18, but I thought I knew everything! I wanted to be out from under my mother’s authority. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. There was no stopping those plans. My mirror did not rise up until I was walking down the aisle. And then I saw with complete clarity that I was making a huge mistake. It was not because the man was unkind or unloving or unworthy. It was because of me and my motives. Like Judas, really, I betrayed my first husband by continuing to walk down that aisle. I did not have the courage to stop and turn around (to be a “runaway bride’). Of course, I didn’t know anything about the way of Jesus back then either.

Jesus, be my mirror today. Show me my motives before I act thoughtlessly. Guard my tongue.

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