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Posts Tagged ‘choice’

Doing what is Good

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2011| 3 Comments »

Book by Sheena Iyengar

Here is the duality of living and walking the faith: first there is the inner journey, bringing the life within into the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit; then, secondly, the outer journey, walking out the behaviors of the Way and choosing to “do good.”

Titus 2:6-7a
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. . . .

I wish this dual walk was more linear. You know, get the inner life in order and only then, venture out into the world. But it’s not like that. We must live in both worlds at the same time and apply what is learned within along the way. I suppose the ideal is reaching a point when the inner and outer lives are meshed into one and they operate seamlessly. Good is no longer a choice but a state of being. God is good.

Instead, I must remain conscious and aware; I must choose to be good.

The other day, I went to the optician to order new glasses after several years of wearing the same frames. To be honest, the idea of changing my appearance so drastically was a little daunting. I even thought about bringing a friend or one of my teenagers to help me pick out the frames. But then, I knew, if I did that, I would muddy the waters of my decision-making. Fortunately, I had the best optician. He helped me pick a small group of frames, six or so. Then, I sat down and he presented me with two. Between those two, I had to choose one. And so forth, from one pair of choices to the next. It was hard but doable.

And then it occurred to me this morning that “doing good” is very similar. I can’t make a global choice to do good, but as my day unveils, I can handle choosing between two possibilities.

Our culture overwhelms us with the cereal aisle of choices and it’s difficult to know which way and which one. Many in the current generation of teens and twenty-somethings are frozen by the panorama of options. They live in a country where anything is possible, or at least, this is what they have been taught. But they haven’t been taught how to choose along the way.

I am no better. Historically, I have been a “Jill of all trades” and the master of none.

Today, I will bring the array down to a manageable level. And as I look at those choices today, I will ask myself, which one is good.

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Pray for Me in this Way

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Prayers are scattered throughout Paul’s writings and many are often repeated as blessings, but never has a prayer touched me as deeply as this one did today. With three elements, my way can be transformed: love, knowledge, and insight.

Philippians 1:9
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, . . .

If I can approach my days with love, literally reach out to others with an authentic heart, those actions become a framework within which knowledge and discernment can grow and become strong. I cannot expect to have knowledge of the human soul without love. That kind of understanding comes through relationship. To know someone is to encounter the sacred core.

Every day presents me with choices. I make these decisions based on my understanding of the person or the circumstances. There are good choices and there are the “best” choices. Paul contends here that love, knowledge and depth of insight are essential to discerning the very best path.

Today, we begin the Advent season when we enter a time of anticipation, a “divine interruption” of our regular lives. It’s a time of beginnings. What better way to begin that to set the heart toward abounding love.

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Predestination Club

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Here we go. The predestination (Calvinist) argument comes up again. Is this an exclusive club? After all, the Jews were a chosen people? Why can’t we be too? Don’t think so.

Ephesians 1:4-5b
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted . . .

Truthfully, I think the Jews were chosen to carry the mantle of the One God and to prepare the way for the completion of those long ago promises. They were to be the roots from which the tree would grow and the Messiah would emerge. But once the Messiah completed the mission on earth, all humans had access in a way they never had before. All people could come in. Is this a type of predestination? I believe it is. But it is far more spacious than most Christians of today believe.

Christ is the way because the long-awaited Messiah was the promised way. It’s not so much about becoming a Christian as it is accepting the story, the redemption of humanity to God.

This also goes back to the sowing and reaping principle. [Galatians 6:7-8] This is part of the human condition and is a law not unlike gravity. It is the work of the Christ that can break that pattern. Without that messianic intervention, we bear the burden of our sowing alone.

I am not interested in arguing as to whether there are those who are not predestined to accept Christ. Instead, I give thanks for those who have accepted this way. And I give thanks for my own epiphany. Without it, I would be dead by now. This I know to be sure.

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Anything Goes

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2010| Leave a Comment »

This is a freedom I don’t practice as much as I should. It’s so easy to get caught up in tracking all the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” in our lives. What is it we fear so much? Why have we lost our confidence in grace?

I Corinthians 10:23-24
Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well. [The Message Bible]

My daughter was working with some dear counselor friends of mine the other day and in the course of their time together, she said she was planning to get a tattoo. Now, I am not a fan of tattoos at all. Five or six years ago, I told my three teens, “If any one of you goes out and gets a tattoo, I will cut it out with a spoon.” Yah, I’d say I had a bit of an attitude. But, over the years, it’s become evident that cultural acceptability of this practice is going to outweigh my threats and I can either fight it and watch them sneak into a tattoo parlor some weekend in Ocean City or I can speak lovingly, reasonably and simply abd ask them to plan it: plan it well, and to be sure it’s what they want. So far, no one has added one yet.

But that’s not really my point. Those friends ended up pulling out scriptures and telling her that getting a tattoo is a sin (I assume this is based on Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves…” and other similar Old Testament passages). But, aren’t we missing the phrase, “for the dead” in this passage. The cuttings and tattoos referenced here are cultural and clearly ritualistic. Most kids and young people are not participating in a satanic ritual any more than they are by going from house to house on Halloween saying, “trick or treat.”

This reminds me of other “do nots” that have been conveyed to me in the name of sin, such as practicing yoga or visualization. Can these things be abused? Of course, but then, so can practices in the name of Christ, such as “miracles” of gold dust floating off the hands of a “healer.”

What is essential here then? Motive and intent. Christ brought freedom and that freedom “completed” the law [Romans 8:1-2].

Needless to say, we must remember, if participating in an activity gives pain and anxiety to those around us, it’s probably best not to do it, for their sakes and out of our love for them, the other (the sacred other). We can’t always know that, though, and we can’t go through our lives second guessing these things. But when we do know, when a child chooses NOT to act in a particular way out of respect and love for parents, that is a good thing. And I’m sure there are other examples of these choices.

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I love: I abstain

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I’m not doing too well with this idea of abstaining from something . . . anything . . . just because it’s a problem for someone else. And yet, if I hold true to the concept of the “sacred other,” can I choose to do anything else?

I Corinthians 8:13
Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

Sometimes, these choices are a cakewalk. Obviously, if I have friends who struggle with alcoholism, I would not guzzle around them. That’s insensitive. But then, the cost to me for not drinking in their presence is minimal. But what about other things? What about movies or books that cause my conservative friends to stumble? What about eating meat around my vegetarian/vegan friends? What about wearing dresses instead of pants around traditional Mennonites or Amish?

There are such fine lines between being true to oneself, being a chameleon for the sake of fitting in, and choosing to abstain out of concern for the other.

I believe my previous “unconsciousness” in these choices were the ultimate problem. I might abstain but I did not do it out of love, but with resentment and even negative judgments.

It’s a type of reluctant obedience that is no better than just going ahead and doing it.

And yet, Jesus stretched a lot of observers to places they did not want to go. He ate without ritual washing, he allowed sinners to touch him, he healed and touched contagious disease. He broke Jewish laws with knowledge but also with kindness.

It all comes back to love and motive. Abstaining for the sake of another should be conscious and intentional. And probably, that act should be accompanied by conversation.

Keep me mindful today Lord.

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Our Place in Life

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2010| 2 Comments »

In many ways, this phrase just rubs me the wrong way. I want to put my hands on my hips and say, “MY place?” Who are you to say what my place is? But then, I take a breath, and think: isn’t it true . . . isn’t htere a moment in time in which we are touched by God? That’s the place we start.


I Corinthians 7:17a
Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.

Whether I like it or not, I started out in a place in life: daughter of immigrants, relatively poor, gifted with some wit and bits of talent. When I recognized the Christ spirit within me, I was on quite a downhill spiral. I was actually losing place. I was falling into a different place, casting away my God-given talents.

So, my place in life is not just my class and race, it’s the entire package of who I am in a moment. It’s not that my place may not change, but it’s not for me to destroy what has been given.

Paul writes that it’s the commands of God that must be followed, that being more essential than place. (For me, these are the two great commands of loving God and others.) When doing this, THEN, place may change.

Today, I am in a new “physical” space, in a workshop for writers. Today, I sense my place in time and Christ is about to take a turn.

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Celibacy, Fasting and Self-denial

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2010| 1 Comment »

Who wants to give up anything the body wants or needs? I’ve been investigating the importance of the body as the “Temple of the Holy Spirit” and yet, here is old Paul recommending celibacy as a way of walking out “self-control.” Harumph.

I Corinthians 7:1b
It is well [and by that I mean advantageous, expedient, profitable, and wholesome] for a man not to touch a woman [to cohabit with her] but to remain unmarried. [Amplified]

This Pauline letter must be one of the main sources for the Catholic tradition of celibate priests. A few verses later, Paul even spells it out, “I wish that all men were like I myself am [in this matter of self-control]. But each has his own special gift from God, one of this kind and one of another.” [vs 7:7]

Is this a good thing? I know that fasting, another form of body denial has its place in devotion. It seems that as we deny the body sustenance, there is more time to look inward to the things of spirit. But this conversation is for those who choose these things, for those who choose to be celibate or choose to fast, or choose to deny themselves in other specific ways.

What about those who have no choice? What about the lonely men and women of this world who desperately want relationship and intimacy with another person? What of the couple who no longer have intimacy due to illness or boredom. What of the poor?

God promises a grace to those who are not in a position to choose. These promises can be seen readily in the beatitudes. They are promises of hope in the midst of great loss and deprivation. These were the people he chose to teach first, to reach first.

What happens for the rest of us who much choose seasons of deprivation? We get a taste, a glimpse of both poverty and grace in this arena.

But I want to remember that Paul also says that each person has his/her special gift from God. The key here is knowing what God wants of me. The point is hearing God’s voice, God’s plan for today, for now. Once, God called me to a long fast and I was so deaf, He made bread taste like garbage before I got the message.

Choosing self-denial for the mere sake of it does nothing special. These times must be part of the true call.

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