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Posts Tagged ‘disappointment’

Lifting the Veil

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010| Leave a Comment »

A veil can work two ways. It can protect what is within from outside eyes, but it can also hinder seeing clearly. Which veil do I still wear?

II Corinthians 3:15-16
Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.

I can attest that I experienced a literal dropping of a mental veil when I read the New Testament through for the first time back in 1979 and as a result, acknowledged that Christ was real and had accomplished that mysterious feat of covering my sins with His blood sacrifice and reestablishing a way between me and God. One day the whole thing was gobbledy-gook and the next day, I saw truth in the words. The dropping of that veil was an enlightenment.

But I wonder now, if I haven’t raised a different kind of veil. Much like the Middle Eastern hijab or burqah, am I still hiding behind a veil of the heart? Am I concealing myself from people around me? When I consider the glory within and how I have shuttered it, isn’t that just another description of the veil?

For glory to pass through, the veil must be down. For love to pass back and forth, the veil must be down. This is about transparency and authenticity. This is about trust.

Over the years, I have struggled again and again with disappointment. It’s been a powerful clip-on for the veils in my life. To keep out disappointment, I push away dreams and hopes. To keep out fallible people, I raise standards. To shield myself from the judgment of others, I send out my own arrows of judgment (the best defense being a strong offense).

It is not the way.

Give me courage this day to drop the veil and to reveal myself and with me, the glory that is Christ Jesus. I believe Jesus was comfortable in every setting and with every kind of person because he was open, he was veil-less, he was accessible.

This is my passion for today.

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With Opportunity Comes Opposition

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Truly, whenever a door opens, it does seem that obstacles come flying across and even through the opening. Too often, when this happens to me, I find myself closing the door, fearful of potential attack and worse, for me, failure. A clear view of the way through does not necessarily mean it’s the right door.

I Corinthians 16:8-10
But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.

There’s a Bible story about this situation [Numbers 13-21-30]: Moses sent a group of men to spy out the land of Canaan. When they got there, they found a beautiful land, “flowing with milk and honey.” But along with the verdant land, there were fortified cities and even giants. It all seemed too daunting to the scouts except for Caleb, who believed the opportunity was from God and therefore, worth the cost.

Opposition in the face of opportunity may also mean there is a sacrifice to attaining the goal. Our culture has adopted the “quick fix” way of doing things. If it doesn’t come easily, it’s not worth doing.

I have seen students leave college within one semester because it was so much more difficult they they expected. There was an initial goal but the demands were greater than their desire to overcome the challenges.

I remember when I was first getting into the theater business in Chicago back in the seventies. There weren’t as many professional and semi-professional theaters back then as there are now. As a result, most actors would venture into the modeling or acting in commercials or trade shows (in addition to waiting tables, of course). This process includes presenting oneself to an agency with a head shots and resumes and a hope that they might like you well enough to send you on an audition. The audition: that’s the opportunity.

But every audition would have hundreds of other starving, good-looking, perfect-for-the-part actors and actresses. If a “newbie” didn’t get a job from one or two of those auditions, the agency lost interest. They wanted instant success and verification that the “product” (actor) was a viable commodity.

How do you fight that kind of opposition? Intellectually, I always knew the answer: practice and perseverance. But emotionally, I couldn’t handle the disappointments, the losses, the failures. I didn’t look or sound like the “All-American” girl. Instead of leveraging who I was, I kept trying to be someone I wasn’t. I actually gave in to the opposition.

Opposition builds strength and like fire, separates the dross from the pure gold. It’s a good thing.

God help me accept opposition and to stand firm in its face, to learn what I must learn and then to forge ahead.

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Abraham’s Legacy

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2010| Leave a Comment »

What do I want to consider about Abraham today? Faith in the face of overwhelming challenges. Faith in the face of boredom and the mundane. Faith in the face of sin and stupidity.

Romans 4:11a
And he [Abraham] received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness that he had by faith while he was still uncircumcised. So then, he is the father of all who believe . . .

Abraham gives me courage to have faith outside the box. I can be wrong. I can go astray. I can lose it. But also, I can count on God because, above all else, I do have faith.

I can be fallible. That doesn’t sound like much except that I constantly struggle with my perfectionism. God is gentler with me than I am with myself.

Abraham screwed up big time . . . with Sara, with with Hagar, with Lot, with Isaac. He did damage. And yet, he was covered. He confessed. He talked to God. And God responded with promise.

That’s all, just hope in face of my mistakes, especially with family. I know I have discouraged when I could have encouraged. I have disappointed when I could have applauded. I have talked when I should have listened.

Still I hope that love will grow stronger than fear, mercy will trump judging, and faith will wipe out doubt. that’s the legacy I believe Abraham is giving me.

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Staying with the Ship

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It’s hard to “stay with the ship” when everything seems lost. Like lemmings who follow each other over the cliff, we tend to abandon tough situations if we see other people cut and run. Sometimes, it takes great courage just to stick it out.

Acts 27:31
Then Paul said to the centurion and the soldiers, “Unless these men stay with the ship, you cannot be saved.”

My son is on a swim team in high school and one of the best swimmers was arrested today. Of course, the situation for the boy is grave, but already the team has been rocked as well. What are they saying to each other: We’ll never win another swim meet. What’s the point of staying on the team? It will be embarrassing now. And so on. The kids feel “exposed” since their best swimmer is out of the game. They want a rewind, but life doesn’t work that way.

Oftentimes the loss of a key player in any organization will make the whole group feel unstable and insecure. New leaders must emerge. New strategies must be developed. New challenges must be faced. The loss of one person sets up an environment for “change” which most people resist, at best, or just downright hate.

This same situation can happen in a church. A beloved pastor may depart or a key family, that has been in the church for years, will leave and people start looking around wondering if they should leave too. It’s not always a change in people or personnel that starts the exodus, sometimes it’s a change of venue (a new or refurbished building/sanctuary) or a change in the ubiquitous “order of worship” or different music or different carpeting. Any “change” can be like a glass of cold water thrown on a fainting person. It feels unpleasant.

I have struggled with staying in the same church year after year. Certainly, our church has seen lots of changes already, some good and some not so good. Many of my dear friends have left, there’s a new building which I dislike immensely, there’s a different worship team and style, the sermons are still bible-based but not terribly challenging anymore or speaking to where I am, and there are so many new people I don’t even recognize 4/5 of the congregation. Why am I still here?

And yet, there is a sense that God is not finished yet. Where there have been changes, there will be more changes. Where there has been loss, there will be gains. Where there has been disappointment, there will be encouragement. That’s the message in my heart. Stay… just a little while longer.

And like the men on Paul’s ship who wanted to jump into the lifeboat, he warned them and said it was important that “everyone” remain with the ship so that all could be saved. Then they ate together and were strengthened for the time ahead. The next day, the ship was destroyed, and yet all 276 were saved… prisoners, sailors, and soldiers. Who would imagine that staying with the ship included the ship’s destruction? But, that which was most important was saved: the people.

A church is not the building, it’s the people. In fact, all organizations are really just the people. Staying with the ship requires a simple commitment to one another, a type of trust, a type of support, a love.

When Jesus left the disciples, they must have been devastated. Some teachers give the impression that the survivors were all huddled in the “upper room” being all holy and everything. Personally, I think they were scared to death and at a loss for what to do next. Some of the disciples baled and scattered for sure. How could they go on? What did it all mean? What would tomorrow hold? But enough of them stayed. And in the end, it turned out to be part of a plan, it was the way it had to be in that moment.

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Endless Future

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 31, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 1:48-49
[Mary said] “… for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.”

From now on… those are deep words for anyone who is trying to figure out today. From now on, I will look at the rest of my differently. From now on, I will invite tomorrow into my life. From now on, I will expect God, who is holy, to continue to do great things for me. From now on…

We cannot walk our own future. We can make plans and we can anticipate problems and we can lay a strong foundation, but in the end, the future is a God thing and anything can happen.

The greatest preparation we can make for the future is to accept what the future brings and “work it.” There is richness in the now if we accept it as a gift from our future.

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On Faith 4

Posted in Fifty days with Jesus, tagged , , , , , , on October 8, 2008| Leave a Comment »

These 50 days with Jesus will be based on II Peter 1:5-7: “For this very reason [the reason being that he has given us everything we need for life & godliness, vs 3], make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.”

So, faith is the foundation for the rest… the first building block. But as I contemplate faith this week, I am struck by its two aspects, belief and trust, and find trust the more dynamic. The verb, trust, can replace the word “faith” in many verses. It carries a lot of power and revelation. In the end, it is in the trust I struggle the most.

When the disciples said (Luke 18:8), “Increase our faith”… I think they really meant “increase our trust.” Try these verses on: “…if you have trust as small as a mustard seed…” [Matt 17:30] or “…I live by trust in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” [Gal 2:20b]

I’m just saying, trust is an issue for me and I believe, if I could really trust the Lord with all my heart [Prov 3:5], the rest (goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love) would come more easily. I would be leaning on Jesus and yet never feel off balance. To trust someone is a choice, usually based on experience. And if we have experienced betrayal, loss, and disappointment (among others), trust is broken. But in the end, to build trust requires a leap of … what else? … faith! The part of faith that is belief… the part that may not have any logic or reason. But once we make the first step on the path of trust, the rest come more easily.

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