Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘inner life’

Stay Away from Idols

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2011| Leave a Comment »

It’s time to put some idols under the microscope. I get too complacent about my idols, thinking they have little power, after all, how bad could they be? I’m a walking believer, I study the scriptures, I pray, I go to church, I even fast . . .

I John 5:21
Little children, keep yourselves from idols (false gods)–[from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life]. Amen (so let it be). {Amplified]

All faith-based disciplines are a help to the life of a follower of Christ. All of these practices aid the fuller indwelling of the Holy Spirit. But for every discipline and practice that is a help, there are “idols” that pull and push against us . . . me.

My idols (in no particular order):

  • Newspapers, News, Blogs, or just about anything on the Internet
  • Lattes and Loose Tea, brewed correctly
  • Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, FlickR
  • Sleeping late; pushing the snooze button 4 times
  • Being Busy, really busy, I mean really, really busy
  • Reading as many books at the same time as I can: current load is 8
  • Driving alone, so I can listen to an audio book
  • Smart Phone
  • Gadgets, or coveting gadgets, or reading about gadgets
  • Being funny
  • Being casual about money, a joke, since it’s in short supply
  • Writing anything: blog, book, reports, instructions, grocery lists
  • Photography, even without a good camera; or maybe it’s kvetching about that too
  • NPR (if I’m short on audio book) – silence not allowed in the car
  • Panera with a few special people (you know who you are)
  • Scheduling the family: even after age 18
  • Age lines, puffy veins, dry eye, sore feet, plus lots of extra pounds
  • Talking, a nice way of saying gossip
  • Being with and taking care of dogs & cats
  • Candles = ambiance
  • Pandora: Smooth Jazz
  • Work: librarian, manager, volunteer, parent
  • Workshops and Training – learn something else new
  • Children’s needs, Husband’s needs and all the needs they don’t know they need

Oh, come on, goofy right? Aren’t idols supposed to be like Mother Teresa or Brad Pitt? Aren’t they the rich and famous, the indulgences, the lofty or the lowly?

No, not really. I mean, I suppose those are issues too, but really, for me, it’s the “time suckers!” : anything that takes me away from my awareness of the Presence within, the marriage of Spirit, the inner life, Christ in me and me in Christ. That’s the very essence of what it means to be an overcomer in this world, this age, this culture. I know all this in my mind, but instead, I act out: I step on my scale and start another diet, I read too many posts, I play too much Scrabble or Words with Friends, I fill my time and watch the digital clock on my computer turn over, minute by minute by minute.

I occupy my mind. Ha Ha. Occupy Irmgarde. These activities, these mind numbing time wasters, they are all camping out inside me. And even if none are particularly bad, they draw me away from my center.

When I was in acting school, I learned a surefire remedy for hiccups: every time! Basically, it requires the person to “relax the diaphragm.” That’s all. But, to do cure usually requires silence, stillness, breath, and centering.

To cure idol pandering depends on the same practices.

Read Full Post »

Self-Control & Wild Grace

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Self-control runs as a theme throughout the first two chapters of Titus. Was it the crowd he was teaching or did he have his own impetuous streak? Self-control requires working knowledge and understanding of oneself in order to initiate change. . . . along with a lot of grace.

Titus 2:11-12
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, . . .

The problem comes when I confuse self-control with controlling others. I know I can be a control freak and unfortunately, I tend to put too much effort into governing my outer environment and not enough energy toward my inner landscape.

I write a great deal about choice and working from the inside out to effect real transformation, and yet, it’s never been clearer to me that self-control is a state of mind and body that must be present as well.

I can’t do it my own. Maybe others can “count to ten” before speaking or take three deep breaths or snap a rubber band on the wrist as a reminder. None of these work for me.

I must depend on wild grace, the kind that covers a multitude of sins, the kind that flourishes in the chaos of my missteps and mistakes, the kind that works like a steady breeze off the ocean.

Sometimes self-control is not about “holding back” the angry shouts or demonic manifestations when my kids continue to put clean laundry on the floor or leave dirty dishes all over the house or go to bed with every light still on downstairs. Sometimes, self-control is about focus. It’s about narrowing the vision, intentionally putting on blinders, and working the moment.

There have been occasions when I have entered true Flow (developed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi), it’s a single-minded immersion that harnesses complete attention and energy. It is in these times that self-control is moot, it is not some additional requirement or add-on. I don’t have to “reach” for that self-monitoring state because it comes naturally within the Flow.

Is it possible to have Flow in the things of God? Is it possible to combine Flow with Grace? Something to think about.

By the way, I’ve started thinking about “grace” as “wild grace” because I see it capable of taming the worst of situations, of embracing the most unlovely, of breaking down the highest walls. There is an abandon to Grace that gives me hope in every circumstance.

There is nothing I can do that can’t be met by Grace. And so, perhaps that’s all I can do today is wrap myself in it so that control is flow.

Read Full Post »

Doing what is Good

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2011| 3 Comments »

Book by Sheena Iyengar

Here is the duality of living and walking the faith: first there is the inner journey, bringing the life within into the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit; then, secondly, the outer journey, walking out the behaviors of the Way and choosing to “do good.”

Titus 2:6-7a
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. . . .

I wish this dual walk was more linear. You know, get the inner life in order and only then, venture out into the world. But it’s not like that. We must live in both worlds at the same time and apply what is learned within along the way. I suppose the ideal is reaching a point when the inner and outer lives are meshed into one and they operate seamlessly. Good is no longer a choice but a state of being. God is good.

Instead, I must remain conscious and aware; I must choose to be good.

The other day, I went to the optician to order new glasses after several years of wearing the same frames. To be honest, the idea of changing my appearance so drastically was a little daunting. I even thought about bringing a friend or one of my teenagers to help me pick out the frames. But then, I knew, if I did that, I would muddy the waters of my decision-making. Fortunately, I had the best optician. He helped me pick a small group of frames, six or so. Then, I sat down and he presented me with two. Between those two, I had to choose one. And so forth, from one pair of choices to the next. It was hard but doable.

And then it occurred to me this morning that “doing good” is very similar. I can’t make a global choice to do good, but as my day unveils, I can handle choosing between two possibilities.

Our culture overwhelms us with the cereal aisle of choices and it’s difficult to know which way and which one. Many in the current generation of teens and twenty-somethings are frozen by the panorama of options. They live in a country where anything is possible, or at least, this is what they have been taught. But they haven’t been taught how to choose along the way.

I am no better. Historically, I have been a “Jill of all trades” and the master of none.

Today, I will bring the array down to a manageable level. And as I look at those choices today, I will ask myself, which one is good.

Read Full Post »

True Life. True Self.

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2011| 1 Comment »

It’s not always what we think it is: true life. Understanding is particularly difficult for the wealthy and, even though I hate to say it, I am among these. Most Americans are. We have abundance and we have fooled ourselves into believing it’s the life, that American dream.

I Timothy 6:19
In this way they [the wealthy] will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Oh, compared to Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, I’m not rich. But, compared to the millions of people who live on a dollar a day or who are deeply dependent on welfare and social security subsidies, I am flush. And yet, Paul admonishes his mentee, Timothy, to pay particular attention to the wealthy, who must be reminded often that it is not their goods, but their good works that have value over time. It is their liberal generosity willingness to share with others. . . . not just share money, but time.

The rich become complacent and arrogant more easily.

I can certainly attest to the complacency. If it were not so, I would be manifesting greater service to those in need. It’s not that I don’t care, I just can’t seem to “fit it all in.” How lame.

As a supervisor, I have asked employees who struggle with “best use of their time” to log their days for a couple of weeks and analyze how their time is really spent. Clearly, I need to to do the same thing.

What did I do yesterday that was investment in “true life?” What will I do today?

Sometimes and maybe even more than sometimes, generosity is not about money, but about generosity of the heart. If we give out of true self, like time and authentic connections, that has value too. Can I give bountifully of myself today? Can I stay mindful enough of the inner presence of the Holy Spirit, that I can be open to feel, to hear, to see, to sense, the pain of another, the loss, the hollow places that need an outpouring of love? Can I? Will I?

Read Full Post »

Testing My Heart

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2011| 2 Comments »

Photo by Charles C. Ebbets, 1932

Are there people out there who actually like taking tests? Not me. Conceptually, I understand the reason for them, they inform me and reveal to me what I know. But I have contorted this process into a performance: good score, good girl and vice versa, or worse, pass/fail. That’s not how it works.

I Thessalonians 2:3-4
For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, . . . We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.

It’s unlikely that God’s intent is to grade Paul on his experiences in Thessalonica in the process testing his heart. Bible translations slightly differ on how they interpret the Greek word, dokimazo. The long definition would be “I put to the test, prove, examine; I distinguish by testing, approve after testing; I am fit.” So, in this context, heart testing is a way to reveal what is really there. It’s an authenticity gauge.

Unfortunately, but most of us don’t really know or understand our hearts. Generally, we get a vague idea based on our behaviors, our decisions, and subsequent fall-out. Sometimes, we create a scenario to see inside. I remember how that turned out a long time ago when Mike and I went to a marriage retreat and were instructed to discuss with each other what we would do if either one of us was trapped on a very high beam that was stretched between two skyscrapers. Would we, despite our fear, go out to the middle of the beam to save the other one. This exercise, I suppose, was to show our sacrificial love for one another. Of course, Mike said he wouldn’t come out. “What ifs” are dangerous games.

Bottom line, heart testing has to be the real thing. It’s the only way to exercise an authentic response to a situation. This is where courage and fear wrestle, where practice becomes second nature, where our progress can be reflected, straight out.

When Captain (pilot) Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger successfully “ditched” U.S. Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River with no loss of life, he was sorely tested. And yet, he responded with all the practice and all the experience he had. He assessed his situation, he evaluated all the choices, and he acted.

I must be willing to do the same. I cannot know in advance how I will react in a situation. I can only work on responses and the health of my inner life and relationship with the Christ Spirit within me. I may need to be more conscious now in my choices as a way of building up my heart’s understanding so that I can respond instinctively to the next situation.

Another word for this sanctification.

Test me, O LORD, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;
for your love is ever before me,
and I walk continually in your truth. [Psalm 26:2-3]

Read Full Post »

Watchful and Thankful

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Intriguing instruction to be watchful and thankful in prayer. I mean, these aren’t two words one would normally put together for something as benign-seeming as prayer. And yet, it’s not the first time Paul speaks of danger in the prayer closet or the necessity for alertness.

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

But is there danger in my prayers? Not hardly. At least, not at first blush. I rarely consider myself to be in deep spiritual battle. Or am I?

Is it possible that mere steadfastness, faithfulness, and consistency can make waves in the spiritual realm? Is it possible that I am part of the “transformational” by holding up my friends and family in the Light of the Christ? Is it possible that my quiet moments of deep connection to the Spirit have resounding impact? And if that is so, is it possible that there is push back that manifests in ways I do not realize?

Perhaps this is what it means to be watchful in prayer: becoming aware of the imprint of God. Watch for movement in the spirit realm. Allow the spiritual senses to become alive in prayer: not just seeing with the inner eye, but also hearing, tasting, smelling, and feeling.

One of my all-time favorite devotionals is You Set My Spirit Free: A 40-Day Journey in the Company of John of the Cross, arranged and paraphrased by David Hazard [1994]: “He creates in you the desire to find Him [the Spirit] and run after Him–to follow wherever He leads you, and to press peacefully against His heart wherever He is . . . Press, and keep pressing into His heart, until you have pressed the image of His invisible nature into the substance of your soul.”

Be watchful. When this happens, there could be fireworks.

We are told in various places throughout the New Testament to give thanks, from Romans 14:6 to I Thessalonians 5:18 to Revelation 11:17. Give thanks.

I have always thought of this as something I must do willfully and consciously, but today I imagine what it would be like to be overcome with a spirit of thanksgiving. To give thanks out of a heart overflowing with an appreciation for the presence of God.

So then, the essence is to “be watchful” in order to experience the fullness of the Spirit which automatically leads to thankfulness. That’s good.

Read Full Post »

Within and Without

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Odd passages about Paul “struggling” with the energy that Christ has given him for the sake of others. And that energy is for them to experience the two-fold mystery of God: Christ within (where our unique relationship is built with the Holy Spirit) and without, in our relationships with others.

Colossians 2:2
My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ . . .

This idea of Christ within and Christ without reminds me of the various ways people get caught up in their own brand of Christianity. Some put all of their energy into good works and service, reaching out to the poor, developing community and building fellowship (all good stuff), while others put everything into those private places where contemplation, prayer, study, and various other personal disciplines expand their inner domains.

Paul’s work is on both fronts for his people that they might be “encouraged in heart” (interior work) as well as “united in love” (exterior work). The complete understanding comes from both sides of the equation. This reminds me of that well worn passage in James 2:14, “What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?”

I don’t do well in this dual role. And yet, intellectually I know that both feed each other. I know that my interior life endows my walk on the outside with better choices, if I allow it to do so. And really, good works can draw a person into a deeper inner life, if permitted.

I am intentionally adding the proviso of permission here because I don’t believe I do it. I don’t give way to the power of the Spirit within. If I did, I’d be doing better (the fruits of that relationship with the Christ Spirit would be more evident). This is part of that “free will” concept. I can limit my relationship with God. I can have surface-only interactions. I can pick and choose. It doesn’t really serve me to do it, but I can. And unfortunately, I do become frightened and put on the brakes.

When the Toronto Blessing was in full swing, one of their most popular phrases was “More Lord, more.” I understand now it was a way to “allow” God in more. It was teaching self to let go and receive. It was not about God giving more, it was about the person opening the door wider to the flow of grace.

The mystery of Christ needs both arenas for full understanding. There is a “battlefield” both within and without. But the interesting aspect of these skirmishes is that I would do better through surrender–that is, surrender to the One who reigns over both and all.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: