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Posts Tagged ‘koinonia’

Unity Isn’t Uniformity

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , on April 11, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Unity, like love, requires consciousness and choice. We will never always agree. Like the old cliche of “pick your battles” with one’s kids, the same is true for the body of Christ. Not every disagreement requires the drawing up of sides and the raising of battle flags. I suppose a better word for unity is compromise or even love.

I Corinthians 1:10b
. . . that there be no dissensions or factions or divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in your common understanding and in your opinions and judgments.

I would say my closest friend is Kathy. We have known each other almost 40 years (age hint). Historically, I have been the conservative one and she the more liberal one. We don’t agree on everything by a long shot, but we know each other and we trust each other and as a result, we respect each other. And so, yes, we are in unity. We don’t live close by and we don’t talk every day, but when we do connect, it’s meaningful. We share deeply and we share honestly. When we disagree, we speak it, but we know that no disagreement is powerful enough to divide our hearts. We anticipate growing old together, 21st century Golden Girls.

But every relationship is not so easy. There are people who have put me under the microscope and nothing I say or do seems right to them. I am suspect and therefore, I am a challenge. There are people, I’m sorry to say, to whom I have done the same thing. My expectation is that they will behave badly and when they do, I am not surprised. Who knows if they behave well, I’m not looking for that. In neither of these cases is unity possible. Even though there is no outright hostility and on the surface everything seems fine, the inner turmoil is fraught with misery.

We will never be all the same. It’s not the way our creative God works. Everything in nature is about uniqueness. It is putting uniqueness together that makes a new “whole.” We each bring our special something to the table.

I can remember when Mike and I used to attend pitch-in suppers at our old church in Atlanta. Most of the cooks brought fried chicken, southern-style green beans, cole slaw, and mashed potatoes. I brought hummus and tabouli. I don’t need to tell you what was barely touched. It’s not that it wasn’t good, but it was outside the box for a church supper, at least back then. Most people wouldn’t even try it.

Each person’s personality has a little tabouli or baba ghanoush in it. Unity comes from tasting … trying … accepting … loving.

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Working Hard

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2010| Leave a Comment »

What does this look like . . . working hard “in the Lord?” I’ve been thinking about this since yesterday. I’m thinking the essence lies in the word sacrifice – a sacrifice of time and energy.

Romans 16:12
Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord. Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord.

Truthfully, there isn’t much we can “give” to God since everything we have is gift from God already. Except for time. Granted, time is also part of God’s creation, and yet, we have free will in our use of time. It cannot be repaid and it cannot be controlled. Time marches on. Time is the qualifier to all of our lives. Time is our ultimate measuring stick.

How do I use my time?

To work hard within the constraints of the time given to me is, according to Paul, worthy of acknowledgment. The time I give to the things of God has more value than the time I give to anything else.

To work hard in the Lord then means I use my time for God. There are no surprises here: prayer (in all of its forms); helping the poor, widows & orphans; practicing koinonia with other believers; sharing our story (our witness); studying; teaching; and loving the unlovely.

Working hard in the Lord is not setting up church programs or retreats, cooking and serving a ladies’ luncheon, practicing skits, or building a building.

Instead, working hard is going against the easy way. Working hard is the way of the seed in soil or the caterpillar in its chrysalis. Working hard is transformation.

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Loving Choices

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , on March 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Today I am being asked to choose, consciously, to adapt my behavior for the sake of another. And that, not for just any “other,” but for a “sister/brother,” someone who shares my faith walk, who is in koinonia (community) with me. Hmmmm.

Romans 14:14b-15a
. . . But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat [by what you are doing], you are no longer acting in love. . . .

This challenges me because I have been working on authenticity so much lately. Historically, I have not believed I could “be my true self” around some my church friends. I perceive myself as slightly different from them, a little off-beat. I know I enjoy activities that some would consider inappropriate in their eyes (certain books & movies for instance). I have political points of view that may very well be quite different from their own.

I have resented this “duality” and I have wanted to “come out” (and no, I’m not saying I’m gay), to my church family. I just want to be real… authentic and transparent.

So, what do these passages from Romans tell me to consider?

Here’s what I think it has to be about for me: it’s a difference in attitude. The “hiding” of my true self before was based on assumptions. And yet, I don’t really know if what I do, think, or read is a stumbling block for someone else. I have rarely opened myself up to that degree. And so, I still think I need to continue this path of onion peeling. However, if my choices cause someone else distress, then I can consciously choose not to participate in these activities or conversations for the sake of the other.

Again, the difference is in the conscious choice for the sake of the other.

I need to think about this more. But for today, I just want to be more mindful of the reasons behind my behaviors, the roots. Assumptions are dangerous for everyone involved. But loving choices can be healing.

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Practice Hospitality

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , on March 16, 2010| Leave a Comment »

This should be a no-brainer. Of course I should practice hospitality . . . except when I haven’t mopped the floors or gone to the grocery store or finished that novel or walked the dog or put the dishes in the dishwasher. Oh yeah, clearly, I’ve missed the practice part.

Romans 12:13
Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

A quick definition of practice is “to repeat an action to improve.” And clearly, I need to improve. It’s not that I don’t love being around people. I do. But bringing them home seems to take more and more energy. It’s unfortunate that having people over has turned into the requisite dinner party or the gathering has to be for a clear purpose/event. Whatever happened to just getting together?

When Mike and I were newly married and living in Atlanta, there was rarely a Sunday that went by that one family or another wouldn’t invite us over for dinner after church, unplanned. They didn’t call us the week before or even the night before. It was on the moment, “Come share a meal with us.” And it wasn’t a special meal picked out for us because we were guests. We were just enveloped into family that day.

Hospitality is not just providing food, drink, and clean sheets for an overnight stay. It’s an invitation into who I really am. When I am hospitable, I am inviting the person to share in my “real.” I am opening a door to my private self. I am giving permission for the guest to know me.

Funny. I think about Jesus who didn’t have a place to invite people to visit. Instead, he made himself the guest in a variety of places and homes. He was giving them opportunity to know him in reverse. He was teaching them how to practice.

I understand why the first churches were house churches and why they are becoming such a phenomenon today. Home is one of the few safety nets most people still have. And if they don’t, they need one. Home: where the door swings wide and one enters into a wide embrace.

Practicing hospitality means practicing an open heart. Welcome is the first word toward koinonia.

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Grace Gifts

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 13, 2010| Leave a Comment »

We have “faculties, talents and qualities” that contribute to our uniqueness. They are gifts. Some of these gifts travel through our family lines, some appear supernaturally, some are discovered after years of disuse, but all are from God and given in grace. Exercising those gifts is a choice.

Romans 12:6-8
Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them: [He whose gift is] prophecy . . . practical service . . . teaching . . . encouraging . . . contributing to the needs of others . . . leadership . . . showing mercy . . . . Amplified and NIV combined

Out of this list, I can manifest some of these attributes by sheer will. I can serve others or encourage, I can even contribute to the needs of others and I am working on showing mercy. These are all good things to have and employ. We would all do well to work on these areas of our lives.

Some people are simply gifted with these attributes and the expression of these gifts is instinctive. And yet, lots of the same folks don’t seem to realize they have the gifts and as a result, the gifts are under-used and the community suffers. Maybe it’s because people don’t even realize how important they are to the body of Christ . . . to the koinonia.

Paul specifically noted these gifts and although I’m sure the list is not necessarily exclusive, clearly these attributes are essential to any team or group (Christian or not, I’d say). There is always a need for visionaries (prophesying) while others handle the practicalities. Some must teach while those who struggle need to be encouraged by those who can see future success in anyone. There are those who understand and multiply resources for the good of all and there are those who can see the big picture and put the puzzle pieces together. And in a thriving group, there will be those whose mercy weaves compassion, gentleness, and forgiveness throughout.

What are your gifts? Do you have one or many? What is the gift of the one beside you? What is mine?

Remember, these gifts are given by grace. Whenever grace is involved, it means there is no “worthiness” involved. The gifts are undeserved and cannot be bought or earned. And yet, all are needed for a fully functioning koinonia.

If you are an encourager, then I exhort you to draw forth the natural gifts of those around you. It may be this role that is most essential to building a truly viable community.

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Mutually Dependent

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2010| 2 Comments »

Interesting concept really, to be mutually dependent. Think about it: we assume a dependent person needs or relies on someone else for protection or caregiving, or knowledge even. But mutual vulnerability implies that each person has his/her own set of weaknesses and strengths, both needed and provided by one another.

Romans 12:4-5
For as in one physical body we have many parts (organs, members) and all of these parts do not have the same function or use, so we, numerous as we are, are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another]. [Amplified]

This basic idea is the foundation of teams in the workplace. The combination of skills and strengths leads to higher levels of understanding and success. God is asking no less of the body of Christ. Unfortunately, many of us tend to sit back and allow others to do their thing while we absorb all their good stuff, giving little of what we are good at doing back.

Churches are filled with folks who show up regularly on Sunday mornings but rarely extend themselves beyond the pew. So many of us make excuses as we watch talented folks sing, preach, play instruments, run committees, and lead classes. We tell ourselves we have no abilities in those areas and therefore, nothing more can be demanded. But what are we good at doing?

I know there is an entire teaching on those verses about being strong in weakness [II Corinthians 12:10] and how God will give us what we need if we step up to the plate. And I don’t really disagree. However, I also think we may be missing something valuable in the church: taking advantage of the gifts people do have, gifts that may not seem useful at first blush but could be used creatively for the body of Christ.

Church life is so locked up in tradition; sometimes there’s little room for innovation and creativity. More than likely, where I am weak, there is someone else who is strong. And where I am strong, it is up to me to offer those strengths for the edifying of those who are weak.

People think of me as strong, but truthfully, I am not “all that.” There are many places and times where I am foolish and insecure, just like anyone else. I am lonely and do not have many close friends. I am a spendthrift and spend money on the wrong things. I make quick judgments. I fill my schedule to overflowing, doing too many things acceptably well, but not really well. I am performance-oriented and put high expectations on those around me. But I am also funny and energetic. I like to draw people together. I like to be the hostess. I like to plan events and watch others enjoy the fruits of those labors. I am smart enough to enjoy reading, studying, and observing others. I love change and new things. I enjoy being with people. I enjoy teaching what I know and writing. I enjoy discovery. But I am not particularly spontaneous because I am also fearful of making mistakes. I can be a control freak. But I can also create something out of nothing.

These are my “I am’s” today.

But, there are people around me who are strong in my weak areas. I want to reach out to them and allow myself to be weak with them. I want to be part of the balance in the body of Christ.

I surrender that part of myself today that has been hiding. It’s time.

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Raised for a Purpose

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2010| 2 Comments »

It’s difficult to see something with new eyes or get new understanding when our memories abound with old movie images and Sunday School bible stories. Who can forget Yul Brynner’s angry, jealous, heart-hardened Pharaoh who would not let Mose’s people go?

Romans 9:17
For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”

I used to believe that people who were marked for despicable acts by God were literally “born and bred” for those moments. I limited my definition to the word, “raised” to be “reared” as in a child who is reared by his parents. But there are over 31 meanings for the word including “setting in motion” or “to cause” something to happen. That means someone could be “raised up” in a single moment, a single choice.

We will never know much about the childhood of Rameses or what challenges he faced as he was being trained for leadership. Perhaps he had always struggled with making decisions and his tutors put heavy constraints on him to “stick to his guns.” In any event, he came to a point in his life, when he was confronted by Moses and said, “No.” And with each “No” he uttered, the future of a people was set into motion.

I cannot assume that Rameses was particularly evil or cruel as a child, teen, or even young man. In fact, a quick trip over to Wikipedia shows that he was actually known as “Rameses the Great” and ruled for nearly 66 years. Or was it Rameses I (even that is unclear historically)?

Whichever Pharoah oppressed the Israelites and then later tried to block their “exodus,” his “raised up” moment could have happened in a heartbeat and God used that encounter to birth a nation.

I don’t believe I’ll ever be comfortable with the idea that a child is born with an evil future. Depending on the scenarios and the choices made along the way, there will be always be turning points that can bring a person to an evil day and time (or not). Does God know how a life will go? Sure, as I have written before, God is outside of linear time. And yet, a life still has more to it than a signature event or time period. Men and women who are remembered for evil may have kissed a child, planted a tree, loved a mate, or created something of a beauty as well.

If I love someone today, anyone, that moment could turn the tide the other way, for me as well as for the “other.” It is why the power is in the now. We can all be change agents for God through touch, compassion, friendship, love: koinonia.

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