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Posts Tagged ‘presence’

Praying the Psalms

Posted in Praying the Psalms, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2013| 2 Comments »

I have been contemplating today how I will continue my path. I have just completed creating a six-week study of the Book of Ephesians in Bible lesson/question format; and as a result, I knew I wanted to spend some time in prayer and perhaps study prayer along the way, but how? I prefer grounding any of my efforts in scripture, no matter how far afield I may go along the way. The most logical place to start appeared to be the Psalms.

I didn’t want to simply start at Psalm 1 and plow through them one by one; instead I wanted the selections to more closely reflect my state of being that day or week. As a result, I have discovered a number of web sites that lay out the psalms by the church calendar (Book of Common Prayer Psalter), by topics, and by summary statements. I will begin with these, looking for revelation and, hopefully, an inner journey that will manifest in a more joyful, peaceful, and moderated outer life.

It is the Spirit I am pursuing in prayer. It is the Presence. It is an intimacy I believe is attainable; a listening place where direction is palpable and rooted in the holiness of God in Christ’s Spirit.

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Christ Living in Me

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2013| 4 Comments »

sunday-school-jesusWhat does that really look like? Sometimes, my imagination carries me away and I think of my body as some kind of hollow, yet intricate cave where the Jesus of Sunday School paintings sits around and chats up all my body parts and memories. Absurd, I know. Or, how about one of those alien movies where the creature pops out of the chest or stomach? Yuk.

“Now I have found the freedom to truly live for God. I have been crucified with the Anointed One—I am no longer alive—but the Anointed is living in me; and whatever life I have left in this failing body I live by the faithfulness of God’s Son, the One who loves me and gave His body on the cross for me. I can’t dismiss God’s grace, and I won’t.” [Galatians 2:19b-21a, The Voice translation]

The scriptures about Christ’s Spirit, that also being called the Holy Spirit or Spirit, is the stuff of non-traditional thinking. The Christian experience, the believer’s life, with the Presence of God within, is supernatural. It is just as “woo-woo” as any other Eastern beliefs or “new agey” talk. The walk with Christ is the stuff of transformation. Because it is full of paradox, it requires faith . . . of things not seen or even understood. Miracles are things that happen outside of the natural order. That’s the point.

Jesus withinThe difference is the affiliation. Do you engage with the other powers or do you engage with the power of the One God, manifest through the Christ and offered to the faithful . . . freely. The sacrifice is in letting go of “self.” But the “other powers” want the same thing. Who do you trust with your soul?

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” [Ephesians 6:12, NIV] And when you see “heavenly realms,” think spiritual realms, the world within.

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Polluted by the World

Posted in Eastertide, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Photo by Andrea Galluzzo

Photo by Andrea Galluzzo

Pollution is a hot topic. The word itself brings up images of oil-slick waters, trash-strewn woods, and smog-filled air. Pollution contaminates, infects, and even poisons. It moves a place, person, or situation from one state to another, and not for good. So, how is the “world” polluting me? What is this world?

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. [James 1:27]

I’m sure there are reams of paper written by clerics and Bible students all over, and I don’t have the time or the inclination to study this topic. I just want to capture a gut reaction.

The world, in Christian circles, always has a negative context: it’s everything from R rated movies to street violence to foul language. It is sexy clothes and sex-filled images “everywhere.” It’s drugs and gambling and porno stores, it’s sexual orientation and alternate lifestyles. Basically, it’s anything that doesn’t line up with the scriptures, according to the folks (and culture and sensibilities) who are reading them. The range of interpretation runs the gambit from the Amish’s “simple life” to left-winger “social justice.”

And there are plenty of scriptures that decry the world in some form or another: John 15:19; John 17:14-16; I John 2:15; Romans 12:2; I Peter 2:11-12; Galatians 3:22.

But perhaps, there’s another way to look at it that might clarify some things. Maybe it’s less important to figure out what the world is doing to us . . . to me . . . and more important to figure out what, in me, is being polluted. Certainly, there are things that I do to my physical body that are not good for me: diet, alcohol, lassitude and inactivity, sleeplessness, disease, etc. But is this my biggest concern or should it be the pollution of my soul? When I invited the Christ spirit to indwell me, then I was (and am) calling forth all that is good to reside within. I am uniting myself with God through Christ. That’s a light, a jewel, a radiance.

What pollutes my spirit? Evil and unproductive thoughts, judgments of others, NOT love, fear, and disdain. It is only the strength of my inner life that can repel the outer influences. Pollution is most dangerous when it seeps into the bone and marrow of a thing, when it permeates the insides. This is where my vigilance needs to be above all. Of course, there will always be controversy on the path that leads to my soul. I know that.

All the same. I’m tired of trying to discern who’s ‘world’ is worst. When I put on all the trappings of being a good Christian, when I followed all the rules, and when I kept myself away from the “appearance of evil,” I don’t believe I was any better off than I am today.

Instead, I want my spirit, my life with the Holy Spirit, to be so robust, that none of those things matter. It is in this way, that I can be neither “in the world” nor “of the world.” And so, I will return to the straightforward words of Jesus himself, “First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” [Matthew 23:26b]

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A Living Sacrifice

Posted in Eastertide, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »

hinds_feetA good part of me is struggling with the word “sacrifice.” Just a quick look at the thesaurus and there’s no wonder I’m hedging, words like lose, endure, renounce, forfeit, and part with. They all resound loss. In our currently turbulent world, can I afford to lose anything more? Can I afford not to?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. [Romans 12:1-2]

It feels like an oxymoron [self-contradictory]. How can I be a “living” sacrifice; won’t I be gone and spent? It’s the most blatant paradox in all of scripture and it’s repeated over and over again: to live is to die; to die is to live. [What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. I Corinthians 15:36]. We see it in nature all the time: the earth replenishing itself.

Too often, I can only see this life, this skin, this body. I try not to be afraid to die. I understand the promises of life after death, I espouse alternate realities and a rich spirit life in which the Presence of Christ is much bigger than this three-dimensional me. But I hold still fast to what I have. Perhaps it is rooted in our family’s poverty when I was young, but how long can I allow that wanting self to rule my life of plenty?

Many years ago, I read Hannah Hurnard’s “Hind’s Feet on High Places,” the allegorical story of Much Afraid whose Chief Shepherd encouraged to take a journey up the mountain with two companions, Sorrow and Suffering. She did not like these companions at first, at all. They seem to be taking her the wrong way, down and not up. But she is convinced to trust the Shepherd, and so she goes, marking that decision with an altar (a benchmark).

And so I am reminded that a living sacrifice is not a one-time, lay it down kind of thing. It’s a another journey. A living sacrifice is ongoing, daily, with understanding, becoming and transforming, letting go of one part, growing another. It is a renewal through pruning. It is communal and by agreement. I must choose.

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Revealed, Renewed, Received

Posted in Eastertide, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2013| Leave a Comment »

PiercedHandOn that resurrection day and for 40 days thereafter, Jesus appeared to his disciples and to others. I call this the “Second Forty,” and will be doing another systematic walk through these days. But today, this Easter day, I share three experiences I had mirrored a day the followers had:

 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” [John 20:19-22]

The doors were locked and the followers were hiding from authorities still, and yet, Jesus revealed himself to them. He was no longer limited by time and space. He appeared. (He was the first one to really experience the Star Trek-like transporter.) And his first words were a blessing for peace. He showed him some tell-tale signs, like the nail prints, but I always wonder if there were other prints: did his back show the scars from the lashes of the whip, did his head show the gashes from the thorns?

And so, with his appearance, they believed again; their faith was reborn in that moment and their fears abated. For some, it was a confirmation (for they never gave up — particularly the women) while for others, they did an about face (they had started to doubt, like Thomas). How long could they have sustained themselves without his appearance? We’ll never know. Like Peter had to carry his public denials of Christ, they would carry their secret ones in the heart.

And then, just like that, they were given their commission: Go! And with that commission came the companion: the Holy Spirit – given through the breath of the Christ. Jesus breathed out and we are asked to breathe in.

Today, when I woke, I had such a lightness of being, and a Presence: the nearness of Christ Jesus. And with that revelation of the Jesus resurrection, came a renewal within, one I have needed for some weeks. And so, I breathed in and filled up again.

And so, I was one with the followers of the Messiah who had been locked up in that room, afraid to take the next step. And Christ came to me with peace and confirmation and hope. Alleluia.


You Won’t Relent by the Jesus Culture.

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Despite My Fear

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2013| Leave a Comment »

angelic protectionFor he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent. [Psalm 91:11-13]

When I was planning a Lenten devotion series for my church along with my daily responses to the selected scriptures, I accidentally switched the weeks. As a result, the theme of “My God, My Protector” ended up now instead of week two. Funny, I don’t know how it has worked out for anyone else, but this is the week I have needed confirmation of God’s loving protection more than ever.

I am feeling so tenuous and unsure of myself. Every task feels gargantuan and I am unable to get anything done on time, with hours and days racing by with no benchmarks. I guess some of these feelings might be as a result of my previous commitment to the peeling away of outer self and exposing of inner self. In theory alone, it’s a dangerous possibility; but this chaotic reality is unexpected. And why? For this very reason: I am not familiar with this person, this tremor, this confusing cacophony of feelings and thoughts.

So often, I am the bull in a china shop, I plunge into tasks with no subtlety whatsoever and simply trust my knowledge and instincts. But these days, I am on tiptoe, softly treading, unsure of my steps, unsure of the surroundings, unsure of my choices. Everything looks and feels peculiar.

Another devotional book I have been following this season is A Day in Your Presence: A 40-day journey in the company of Francis of Assisi compiled by David Hazard. It’s an old book and a series from the early 90’s, but the entries are very short and hit directly to the matter at hand. Then, in the midst of this study, the new Pope takes on the name of Saint Francis. Why did his choice strike such a chord? I don’t really know; it’s not like I’m Catholic, and yet, the synchronicity of it gave me pause. Something is happening: like a secret revolution.

God is speaking to his people about the Way again. And it’s not big and dramatic and full of signs and wonders. It’s a quiet revolution of the heart. But in that kind of change, it’s important to surrender to the protection of the Holy Spirit. It’s important to trust God in the midst of change. I ask now that God send those angelic messengers to hold me close and prick my spirit to submit to the Presence within.

Amen. Selah (pause and calmly think of that). Amen.

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A Distant Home

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 16, 2013| Leave a Comment »

distanthome‘I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ [Luke 5:18-19]

Before the “prodigal” son could return home, he had to see himself and his situation. This is that epiphany moment when everything that has been fuzzy is clear, when the justifications no longer work, when the excuses are exposed as lame, when truth wins. And in that moment, there is a choice, to continue along the same path or turn around.

It’s hard to turn around because that journey may mean going over the same ground traveled once before: in essence, a review of those older choices. The road appears even longer on the way back. Did I really do that? Did I really say that? Did I really come this far?

And that is the question, isn’t it? Did I really?

It’s too easy to lose sight of what is happening on that “road to perdition.” What might have appalled the first time becomes common place. The shock wears off and soon, circumstances become the norm.

Like the story of the frog who drowns in the pot of water, slowly heating up.

Of course, not every return is from the pit of hell (although sometimes, it’s clearer, what needs to happen next). Some returns are closer at hand. Sometimes, it’s just a prayer life that has gotten bland and superficial, where more time is spent at a meal prayer than at the feet of Christ. Sometimes, it’s a type of laziness, a depression that is not clinical, but woos all the same: to lie there in the curve of the sheets or the indent of the couch, to cuddle into the hollow of the chair.

Home in Christ is not passive by nature. When it is, something is amiss. Why have I allowed it to become so wishy-washy? Why has my faith become so tame, so compliant? So lacking in joy and transformative power? It’s not bad or evil, my situation. I mean, I’m not wallowing in pig slime or sin. I’m boring today.

I’m a boring believer. Sluggish. It’s my own miniature of the “dark night of the soul.” I don’t believe God or the Presence is missing. Of course. It is I who have gone somewhat AWOL. Perhaps it was the busy few days, the travel, the change in schedule that has plunged me into this lassitude. Or, it’s the pesky virus that hangs on to my head and sinuses, who drives me to sleep. In any case, I feel prodigal and dissipated by it.

So, what to do?

Call it for what it is. That’s first. Then I can turn around. Maybe tomorrow.

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