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Posts Tagged ‘presence’

Thirst is Specific

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

waterCome, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost. [Isaiah 55:1]

It’s really rare that I experience true thirst, perhaps on those rare occasions when I work out or I am outside on a very hot day, but really, water is usually at arm’s length. I live in a society where water is so plentiful (for now), that I can choose other things to quench my thirst, like tea or soda or beer. It’s not like I have to have water.

But if I lived in a parched land, in a desert, I would have a different attitude toward water, I’m sure of it. If I really experienced a drought in my body that only water could refill, I would not be so cavalier about this drink, this fluid that is actually the bulk of my physical being (90%).

That is the kind of desire that would change my faith walk with God. That kind of need and craving for the things of God, for the Presence of the Holy Spirit, for the quenching power that only God can give. If I wanted God the way a truly thirsty person wants water, then I would have fullness. I would recognize God more clearly; I would hear God’s voice; I would “feel” God.

Truly, I believe it.

Instead, I continue in this rather off-hand existence with God. It’s simply not intentional in my surrender.

Don’t misunderstand me. I get thirsty for God. And I drink and I am, for that time, aware of God’s Presence and amazed by the wonder. But then, I grow complacent and dilute the drink. Funny, right? The idea of diluting “water” with other things? But it is so.

Lord, I want to drink of you this day.

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The Poor in Me

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2013| Leave a Comment »

prayerr“Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial.You will always have the poor among you,but you will not always have me.” [John 12:7-8]

Priorities. Sometimes, that can be a the problem while serving others in the name of Christ. We lose track of the reason we are giving up our time and energy. I can speak to this, because, “I are one.” That is, I am working, volunteering, going and going and going, but not stopping long enough to give balance to my day by spending time in silence with God.

It’s the still time, the set aside time, the Christ time, that gives meaning and strength to all the other time. I know this. I believe. And yet, I will sleep an extra 4 snoozes on the alarm, I will throw yogurt in my purse as I rush out the door, I will call people while I’m driving, I will make appointments without checking my calendar, I will say yes and yes and yes to people who ask for my time, I will write at all hours of the night, I will make three trips to the grocery store on the same day, I will pay the late fee on my bills, I will visit friends who are sick, and on and on and on I go. But, I will still fail to stop long enough to center down, to breathe, to pray, to meditate, to connect with the Holy Spirit, to utter gratitude in the silence.

Jesus had a very small window in the flesh. Jesus was more than humanity could tolerate. And yet, despite the urgency of need in the world, he found time for solitude. He made time for prayer and listening. He could not do what he had to do without it.

How long is our own time here in the flesh? I cannot even know what the next hour will bring or the next car ride. I have now. I have a choice in the moment.

Will I pour out my ointment to the Christ or dash about?

Christ is with me always now, but in what capacity? Am I conscious of the Presence? Breathe.

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Ash Wednesday 2013

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2013| 2 Comments »

Painting by J.Johansen

“Mourning” by J.Johansen

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord,
“Return to Me with all your heart,
And with fasting, weeping and mourning;
And rend your heart and not your garments.”
Now return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and compassionate,
Slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness
And relenting of evil. [NASB Joel 2:12-13]

Yesterday, I returned from a weekend trip to visit a dying friend and I was humbled at her genuine faith and acceptance of God’s journey for her. She embraces each day. She is present in the moment. She is in the Spirit, having returned with all her heart. She is surrendered to God.

Tonight, at church, Pastor Jess reminded us that surrender means we are “all in.” I believe these forty days will be a true journey of repentance by relenting my willfulness and submitting myself to the Wonder.

I want to give “truth in my inward being” [Ps 51] to others. I want to be known and to know. I want to learn about my “secret heart.” And, I want a clean heart. I confess I have not been focused on these things in the past. But it’s time. Now is the acceptable time [II Corinthians 6:2b].

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Binding Oaths

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 30, 2012| 1 Comment »

Photo of Beersheba by Leon Mauldin

Photo of Beersheba by Leon Mauldin

The making of oaths and treaties in ancient times was far more serious than it is today. When anyone swore an oath and broke it, the penalty was severe, even death. I cannot help but wonder how different our world would be if promises and vows had more significance. Not unlike Bonhoeffer’s “cheap grace,” we now have vows made with fingers crossed behind our backs.

Genesis 21:30-31
He replied, “Accept these seven lambs from my hand as a witness that I dug this well.” So that place was called Beersheba,because the two men swore an oath there.

Lack of trust is at pandemic proportions, the real core to our inability to make a vow or promise and keep it. We have all been betrayed so many times, we do not believe the word of others. Either we need lots of evidence or the cost for breaking trust must be so high that everyone is put in a fear position to uphold the agreement (hence, the Cold War).

Of course, those fear-based promises usually have loopholes and everyone is busy trying to find them.

Marriages have become the thing of mistrust and loopholes as well. I find it amusing, the angst over same-sex unions, while cheating, divorce, and secret lusts rage in society. How often are the ones who rail against the sins of others, forget their own?

A covenant is a binding oath, a promise that cannot be broken. An agreement with God, the acceptance of Christ as the Messiah, is on that level.

I forget this sometimes. I dishonor the agreement. I don’t hold up my end of the bargain, the treaty, the contract. In a secular world, if I broke a contract the number of times I have broken covenant with the Christ, I would be sued or forced to pay large sums of money or put in jail. But my contract, thanks be to God, is with Grace. And I get more chances to make it right.

I give “lip service” to my trust in God, but I’m afraid I don’t build my foundation on it. I am swayed and battered by the storms of life and I lose sight of trust I promised to have in God. I know intellectually that God is faithful and trustworthy, but still I stumble.

Sensitize me to Your Presence today Lord and give me courage to speak trust in the face of all circumstances. Help me build a Beersheba today, to remember my promise.

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Seek God’s Face

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , on March 10, 2012| 2 Comments »

What is God’s face? Most people interpret this phrase to mean God’s presence. But, in general, God’s presence is not hidden. God is with us always. The question is whether we recognize God’s presence and even more, that part of God that could be called the face, the communicative part.

Psalm 27:8
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

The face has the key parts for communication: eyes to see, nose to sense and smell, mouth to speak and taste, and ears to hear. To seek God’s face is to seek connection.

How often, as a parent, do we demand our children look at us as we’re speaking? We want to be sure we have eye contact. We want to see them see us. We want to confirm that we are being heard.

The metaphor of God’s face is the same thing. God wants to be sure we are paying attention.

Some years ago, I was driving across 695, the beltway around Baltimore, late in the evening. The traffic was at a standstill, probably due to an accident further ahead. I hate traffic jams, the slow stop and start tweaks every nerve. As we slowly crept toward an exit, the car ahead of me put on his turn signal. In my desire to escape, I got it into my head that this car was getting off the road to take a shortcut and get back on the beltway on the other side of the accident. Stupid, right? So, I followed this complete stranger off the beltway and followed him. Of course, anyone can predict the outcome. Within ten minutes, he pulled into his driveway and I was stuck in a part of the city I did not know.

I left the road I knew. The beltway had not moved. I was the one who was not seeking the way back to 695, at night, with no map and no GPS. I was lost because I chose to take the exit. I didn’t like the circumstances I was in at the time.

Eventually, I found a rather unsavory gas station and was directed back to the beltway. Of course, I ended up returning to the highway at the exact same point I left it. My little excursion inside the beltway was a good lesson.

I know God’s presence. I have experienced the comfort and the power. But sometimes, I get caught up in my own way, my own timetable, my own interpretation of what should be happening. I want a shortcut.

To seek God’s face requires my full attention, my time, and my commitment. It’s not a mystery.

In Brian McLaren’s book, Naked Spirituality: a Life with God in Twelve Simple Words, the first word is Here and the prayer that accompanies that word is “I am here, God is here, I am here with God.” This is the beginning of acknowledging and breathing in God’s Presence.

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Turning My Head to Look

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2012| 2 Comments »

Ceramic tile by Katherina Short

Imagine being in that early flush of honeymoon love and waking in the morning. The first thing I do is turn to look at my beloved. A wonder. If he has risen beforehand, I might call out the name or simply rise to seek him out. I know he is there. So it can be with God.

I Chronicles 16:10-11
Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

To seek God does not need to be a quest, it’s just turning my head to look, to really look. It’s like being at a party and for a moment, losing sight of my date. I look for that familiar head of hair or the clothes I know he wore. There he is. All is well. I don’t need to rush over and clutch at his sleeve. We are in the same room. We are together.

Sometimes seeking God is simply a reawakened awareness of God’s proximity to me.

As children grow into toddlers, the first thing they want to do is stretch the boundaries of their independence. One of two things happen, the child ventures away but keeps checking back to make sure Mom or Dad can be seen, can be reached in need. Often, the toddler will make a number of trip back and forth, out into the bigger space and back to Mom. Yep, he knows the way and he fees secure. The next foray may be further and maybe out the door. But, if the toddler goes too far, the parent senses his absence and will follow.

I want to capture this truth today. Not just now as I’m writing, I want to pull myself away from what I’m doing and intentionally look for God–in the eyes of a friend, the walk of a stranger, the wet nose of my dog, in a handshake, in a flight of birds, in the wind or warmth of the sun.

Look! Look!

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Greater Than My Heart

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Anyone want comfort or rest? Then it is right here: God is greater than our hearts–my heart. God’s spirit occupies more of me than myself, if I so allow. Where many of today’s protest encampments are full of angst and anger, this occupation is mutually agreed upon and full of promise.

I John 3:19-20
This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

But, as I tell my children, over and over again, “Ya gotta want it.” We all know, whether we are in our twenties or in our sixties, life is difficult. There are brick walls that rise up along the way and, in our own strength, we can either choose to climb over, break through, or walk away. Within the presence of God however, these life choices can be different. Why? Because living in the Presence, is walking out an enormous set of paradoxes, one after the other. The brick walls can shift before our very eyes, the pathways re-orient, the solutions morph, the night become day, the sorrow become joy.

In the presence of a Holy God, anything can happen. In the presence of a Holy God, I transform and I can stop the old games, the old scripts, the old desires. I can because I want, I desire to participate in this interior life.

OK, a lot of this is still theory. I mean, I am so sure that this is what can happen within, but I have not quite gotten the hang of it yet. I have not quite surrendered to that Holy Spirit. There are glimpses though, and that’s why I know it’s real. But then, like Peter walking on the water, I become fearful: it’s not the norm, it’s a different “matrix.”

This is where some of the “new age” folks are closer to the truth that the Christ-followers. We keep putting God in a box, as they say, or confine God to our limited understanding. We keep putting a white-haired, long-bearded man on the “throne of heaven” and teach our kids that God is like this – some white-robed Santa or friendly Zeus.

It is my own heart that limits the wonder of God in my life, that constrains the grace of Christ, that distrusts the benevolence of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, forgive me. I want to walk on water in your Presence.

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