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Posts Tagged ‘seeking’

Cycles of Sensitivity

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , on March 26, 2012| 2 Comments »

Fabric on Wood by Shellie

God is not a moving target. I may feel like it sometimes, but in my heart, I know, it’s not a God-problem, it’s a “me” problem. I am the one fluctuating between sensitivity to God’s presence and isolationism. Solution: grab hold when my pendulum swings in close.

Isaiah 55:6
Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.

None of us can expect to be on a mountaintop for long; it’s not realistic. No matter how wondrous the climb or ecstatic the view, the air is thin, food and water must be found and consumed, shelter a necessity: life goes on. I can’t expect my times in pure God awareness to be sustained either. This is undoubtedly one of the reasons why ascetics, monks, or hermits disconnect themselves intentionally from the material world, it’s the only way to preserve that connection over a longer period. But even they must address their physical needs eventually. It’s part of being human.

That means, when I do have those moments of closeness to the Holy Spirit, when I do sense God nearby, I must cherish that time. I must be alert: awake! To chart those waters, I must look and listen (with inner eyes and ears). And remember!

This is why I journal, why I blog, to help me remember that moment, that revelation or epiphany. Otherwise, those understandings disappear into the ether of my subconscious. There, but not there, not easily accessible.

Mark the time. Mark the day. Catch the petals in the wind.

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Perfect Truth

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , on March 24, 2012| Leave a Comment »

We live in a society of relativism. And this relativism gives permission for a wide range of beliefs and behaviors. On the other hand, there are groups of people who believe they have Truth and find nothing ironic in those truths colliding, creating wars, prejudice, and hate. Where is Truth in that?

Isaiah 45:19
I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob’s descendants, ‘Seek me in vain.’ I, the LORD, speak the truth; I declare what is right.

God’s truth is constantly being manipulated by Human. The Bible, in all of its truth, has been written by human beings, interpreted, and applied conveniently. And really, so have all of the sacred texts, from Qur’an to the Bhagavad Gita. We can all claim divine inspiration, God speaking through the hands that wrote the words down, but, in the end, truth may still elude us.

“God is Spirit and his worshipers must worship God in spirit and in truth.” [John 4:24]

All faiths, in the end, must do the same for this Spirit.

To seek God is to seek Truth and it’s bigger than a single belief, a single banner, a single slogan. It is broad and it is narrow. Truth is the ultimate paradox, encompassing all and nothing. Truth exists with or without me because God is.

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” [I Corinthians 13:12]

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Truth and Consequences

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2012| 2 Comments »

Adages, quotes, sayings, proverbs abound: “You get what you pay for;” “You made your bed now lie in it;” or simply, “Face the music.” On and on, we are reminded about the consequences of our actions. And still history repeats itself again and again. At least, mine does.

Proverbs 11:27
Whoever seeks good finds favor, but evil comes to one who searches for it.

I’m not saying that I go around looking for trouble necessarily, and yet, I have played very close to the fire and somehow managed to be surprised when I got burned. Of course, we all do it to some degree or another.

Just last night, my son was wisecracking about the messes he gets himself into when he drinks too much. Now, one would think the obvious solution would smack him up along side his head but that is not the case. Was I any different? At his age, I wrapped by head around a toilet more times than I’d like to admit and I nursed horrible hangovers and regretted many things I blurted out to perfect strangers. Duh!

There is a balance point between knowledge, experience, and self-control. Once discovered, like finding the focus point on a balance beam or high wire, it becomes a small wisdom.

I know about consequences. I have experience with consequences. And yet, until I make the better choice before consequences kick in, knowledge & experience have little effect. It’s truly a matter of practice before wisdom becomes a part of character, a part of the soul.

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Help Me See

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 13, 2012| 1 Comment »

I’m not paying enough attention. I know there are upright people around me; there are folks who are choosing each day to turn away from the selfish choice and seek peace. Have I become so jaded that I only see the mistakes, the falling short of a person?

Psalm 37:37
Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
a future awaits those who seek peace.

I place the bar very high for myself and as a result, I tend to give too much credence to the dark voice within who points out my failings, my trips, my secret heart. As a result, I appear to do the same to others. Sorry ya’ll.

It’s time to look with different and gentler eyes. It’s time to mark and consider the good moment, the brave choice, the intentional moments of others. It’s time to look for them and to celebrate them.

At work, I can praise my staff for a job well done, but I don’t offer much encouragement to regular people around me, from my kids who struggle each day to navigate their world to my husband who has become too familiar, a presence who has lost his uniqueness, but has become a habit instead. Like being on auto-pilot, I am not looking for the evidence of good choices, conscious choices, dauntlessness.

Who do I admire? Not for their successes in the world, but for their courage to walk the narrow way of faith, to hold fast to the paradoxes of Christ, to live humbly, to seek peace by turning away from self camouflage, to practice transparency and authenticity. I want to celebrate them.

Keep me mindful today that I might see.

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Why Bother With Peace?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2012| 1 Comment »

Meandering Passage: Light Ahead

After all, peace is fleeting, fragile and easily broken. Peace is readily distracted. Peace is coy, difficult to find and keep. And worst of all, peace is relative to our perceptions and experience. Peace is not simply the absence of violence. Peace is intentional.

Psalm 34:12, 14
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, . . . Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Before I can even consider the pursuit of peace, I must first turn from evil and do good. In other words, peace is impossible in the midst of evil-doing: lying, cheating, gossiping, coveting, envying, gluttony, resenting and hating, just to name a few. And then there are the more obvious crimes of evil among peoples and nations: murder, adultery, stealing, bribery, destruction, uncontrolled ambition.

How badly do I want peace? Am I willing to turn away from bad habits in the name of peace? Or, is it just a kind of talk, a warm fuzzy type of wishful thinking. Is it like hoping to win the lottery. Am I waiting for some outside force to give me the desire to change? If I just had this or that, then I could change. If my husband was better, different, stronger, more loving and attentive, more anything, then I can change? If my children were more obedient, considerate, thoughtful, reliable, or successful in school, then I can change? If I had a better job and a housekeeper, a cook and a complete wardrobe, then I can change?

Then I can exercise every day and stop eating emotionally, then I can stop hiding my “white lies,” then I can stop judging and gossiping, then I can stop envying my contemporaries for their apparent successes. Then…. then…. then?

Here’s the most likely solution. It’s not all or nothing. It’s not turning away from the evils and mistakes all at once. It’s in baby steps. And for each turning, there is a puzzle piece to the mystery of peace. Each time, I choose to walk away from the gravitational pull of sin (error, offense, pride), the path to peace is lit up just a little more.

Do I love life? Real life. Expansive, balanced, thrumming life? Or, have I settled for less?

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Seek God’s Face

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , on March 10, 2012| 2 Comments »

What is God’s face? Most people interpret this phrase to mean God’s presence. But, in general, God’s presence is not hidden. God is with us always. The question is whether we recognize God’s presence and even more, that part of God that could be called the face, the communicative part.

Psalm 27:8
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

The face has the key parts for communication: eyes to see, nose to sense and smell, mouth to speak and taste, and ears to hear. To seek God’s face is to seek connection.

How often, as a parent, do we demand our children look at us as we’re speaking? We want to be sure we have eye contact. We want to see them see us. We want to confirm that we are being heard.

The metaphor of God’s face is the same thing. God wants to be sure we are paying attention.

Some years ago, I was driving across 695, the beltway around Baltimore, late in the evening. The traffic was at a standstill, probably due to an accident further ahead. I hate traffic jams, the slow stop and start tweaks every nerve. As we slowly crept toward an exit, the car ahead of me put on his turn signal. In my desire to escape, I got it into my head that this car was getting off the road to take a shortcut and get back on the beltway on the other side of the accident. Stupid, right? So, I followed this complete stranger off the beltway and followed him. Of course, anyone can predict the outcome. Within ten minutes, he pulled into his driveway and I was stuck in a part of the city I did not know.

I left the road I knew. The beltway had not moved. I was the one who was not seeking the way back to 695, at night, with no map and no GPS. I was lost because I chose to take the exit. I didn’t like the circumstances I was in at the time.

Eventually, I found a rather unsavory gas station and was directed back to the beltway. Of course, I ended up returning to the highway at the exact same point I left it. My little excursion inside the beltway was a good lesson.

I know God’s presence. I have experienced the comfort and the power. But sometimes, I get caught up in my own way, my own timetable, my own interpretation of what should be happening. I want a shortcut.

To seek God’s face requires my full attention, my time, and my commitment. It’s not a mystery.

In Brian McLaren’s book, Naked Spirituality: a Life with God in Twelve Simple Words, the first word is Here and the prayer that accompanies that word is “I am here, God is here, I am here with God.” This is the beginning of acknowledging and breathing in God’s Presence.

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House of the Lord

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Photo by Paula Tatarunis

I had always assumed the “House of the Lord” meant the church or temple, a place for corporate worship. I interpreted this scripture (well worn by many of the faithful) to mean, show up every Sunday. Eyes opened today: it means the family place of God, to live or exist within the family, bound by the blood.

Psalm 27:4
One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

I’ve never been that comfortable when church leaders refer to their constituents (or members) as family. I’m sure I’ve been tainted by a less than ideal family history. As immigrants, we had no relatives nearby. In fact, most were locked behind the iron curtain and Berlin wall until 1991. Family was a small corps of people, only three (since my father died when I was nine). I was always envious of those large family gatherings that people would have each holiday and I was delighted when our small family was embraced into a larger one, even briefly.

But the church family thing never really resonated. I suppose I couldn’t be myself in those gatherings. It was still too much like a public venue. I had to put on my “church face.”

Now, there is a different family to consider. This “family of God” is not the Church alone; it is not only the people who meet Sundays and weekdays, who have placed themselves under the banner of a particular denomination or church name (although they are included). No, I believe this family is within where the Spirit resides.

The “shelter of his sacred tent” [vs 5], is within.

This is the world of prayer, meditation, and contemplation. This is the place of creativity and imagination, music and color, beauty and light. This is the world outside of time.

And when two or more are gathered here [Matthew 18:20], God is in the midst of them: in the house of the Lord.

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