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Posts Tagged ‘sin’

30th Anniversary

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 25, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Thirty years ago, I finished reading the New Testament all the way through for the first time. I had a decision to make. Was it the truth or a lie? I kneeled beside my bed and confessed to this Jesus that the words felt… they resonated like truth. That decision changed my life forever.

Hebrews 5:14
But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

In some ways, I feel as though I am still on “spiritual milk” and have not matured as I should. After all, it’s been a long time. I have professed followership of Jesus for many, many years. And yet, I still struggle with many of the basics: love, trust, faith, hope…

Perhaps that is the maturity… I recognize I am still struggling. When I was younger in the Lord I can remember attending spiritual retreats where confession was a signature event where we pounded our written sins onto a cross. For many, it was extremely cathartic. But for me, in those early years, I’d struggle with the writing. What should I put on that little piece of paper? What great sin had I committed that still needed to be confessed. Hadn’t I confessed them all by now?

That makes me laugh. These days, I confess my sins daily. They accumulate quickly. I place even the smallest sin at the foot of the cross before that sin can grow, like yeast, to a besetting mountain of emotional pain or denial; before it can darken or harden my heart any more than it already has. And, unfortunately, I confess, some days, it’s the same sin… judging, pride, resentment, self-pity, anger… to name a few familiars.

I understand now, more than ever before, what it means to pray the Jesus prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.”

My sins are legion, which reminds me of the demoniac [Luke 18:30] who was possessed of many demons. In the same way that many demons can be “swept away,” they can also come back to look for purchase in a newly cleaned “soul.” Sins also reappear [Matthew 12:43-45] to plague the spirit.

This is my message to any believer, young or old: confess often, accept grace and forgiveness daily, and give to others what Christ gives to you.

This is not just the beginning of the church year, it is also the beginning of my own new year in Christ. Continue to teach me, guide me, and renew me. Amen.

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Outward Signs vs the Crowd

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , on December 16, 2009| Leave a Comment »

The Jerusalem “elders” asked Paul to go through a purification rite to show “everyone” that he was still following the laws of Moses. But it didn’t work. Paul couldn’t change the crowd’s view of him. Am I just one more of the crowd?

Acts 21:27
When the seven days were nearly over, some Jews from the province of Asia saw Paul at the temple. They stirred up the whole crowd and seized him,…

It didn’t work in Paul’s time and it doesn’t work much better in our time. This power of the crowd is described several times in scriptures and generally, the outcome is always bad. The crowd that responded to Paul’s presence in the temple dragged him out of the temple, locked the doors, and started beating him to death [vs 27-32]. His “outward sign” was futile.

It only takes one or two folks to stir things up. Just look at the crazy email messages that are sent to hundreds and hundreds of people. The “shocking” and more outrageous ones are the most viral and travel the fastest. Some of these messages live on for years and years. This is a virtual version of crowd. Or how about gossip? It’s another example of crowd behavior. In my daughter’s high school, she has suffered tremendously from gossip about her character that has yet to abate, even after a full year. It is next to impossible to fight character bashing by crowd.

Crowd will not be swayed by outward signs once people have jumped on the bashing bandwagon. The ride is too easy. The encouragement to continue too tempting. The camaraderie too inviting.

I would love to say I have never done this! Unfortunately, I have climbed aboard several crowd bandwagons and done my own good share of complaining, jeering, gossiping, and backbiting. I am thoroughly ashamed and ask God to forgive me.

When Jesus faced the “character-bashers,” he was either silent or he asked pointed questions to reveal their heart motives.

I hear the Spirit ask me, “Do the words you speak carry light and life?” and “Do you know the heart of the one you judge?” and “Why are you repeating what you have heard?”

It’s time. It’s time to step away from the crowd.

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Cup of Grace

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Each day has an abundance of bad choices, wrong steps, hurt feelings, and ill temper. If my sins were collected in bottles, I’d have a case of them in no time at all. This is why I am so grateful for a faith that offers an abundance of grace (unmerited favor, spiritual blessing, and mercy [Amplified]).

Acts 20:24b
“…if only I [Paul] may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

The people of Paul’s time were equally downtrodden with the burdens of their day. For the Jews, it was the codified law that had become a heavy weight around their necks. There was no way to follow and meet the standards of that law. For the non-Jews who believed in Yahweh (and thereby, one God), there was this overwhelming sense of being on the “outside” of the whole truth, stepchildren of the faithful. And for those who had walked away from God, there was no hope of redemption at all.

This was the message of grace that Paul offered to everyone he met: accept Jesus as the Messiah and find freedom in his rabbi’s yoke.

Some fear this emphasis on grace and have coined the appropriation of God’s Grace when applied everything and everyone as “cheap grace” particularly when a person calls on grace to cover ongoing and willful sins or bad behaviors. But, if grace belongs to God, then it is God who ultimately sorts out the application of His love to a person’s circumstances or human troubles.

My job, like Paul’s, is to tell the story of God’s Grace in my life. I cannot know how grace will feel or look in the life of another. But I do know, on the day that Grace covered me, I was made new. Where there had been no hope, there was hope. Where there had been disillusionment and fear, there was confidence and peace. Where there had been deep sorrows, there was a possibility for joy.

And so it goes each day, I pour out my bottle of sins and grievances into the hands of Christ and He has me drink instead from the cup of his mercy.

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Power of Grace

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 15:11
“No! We [Peter speaking of Jewish disciples] believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they [the gentiles] are.”

Grace, grace and more grace. It is grace that does all the work. Grace = Jesus.

No human being can operate faithfully and fully within the laws of God alone. It is simply impossible. We are fallible, imperfect, careless, and prone to err. Perhaps we intend the best, but we bring far less to the table of life. We are handicapped in one way or the other. We hurt each other. We fail each other.

My daughter has told me how I am the only one she can trust, that I have been steadfast, that I am her hero. And I tell her… get ready, because I will fail you eventually, whether perceived error or truly just blowing it. I keep trying to bend her trust toward the only One who is totally reliable. It’s not me, I know.

God has poured so much grace upon me already. I am thankful for family, shelter, work, food on the table, transportation, freedom, and health.

Who are the gentiles of today? Isn’t it possible that God will pour out his grace on those unlike us… whose lives are different than our own? Who are we to decide what someone else’s faith walk will be like?

There was much damage done by many well-intentioned missionaries who entered cultures unlike their own and did everything they could to recreate those cultures. Look what the well meaning “whites” did to the Native Americans here in the United States… not just condemning their faith, but stripping Native Americans of their dress, their music, their land, and their history. Or, what of the Africans who were brought to this country? They too were forced into a new life, often under the trappings of “saving their souls” because they were categorized as barbarian or primitive.

Grace is more powerful than anyone’s culture. Grace knows how to integrate into any culture and reach the heart. It is the power of grace that transforms the human spirit. Lives are not changed at my insistence that they worship the way I do or read the text the way I do or pray the way I do.

The Jews who had accepted Christ had to a make a huge shift in thinking in order to embrace the gentiles. Can we do any less to those of other cultures, sexual orientation, or race? Let us trust Grace.

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Giving Up Circumcision

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on November 16, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 15:5
Then some of the believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees stood up and said, “The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to obey the law of Moses.”

Circumcision was one of the most important signs or acts that a Jewish man did. It went way back and it was sacrosanct. And yet, here was Jesus turning something else inside out. I mean, at this point in all the conversions, there were even Pharisees who had become believers. The Pharisees were taught to obey the law to its “nth” degree. And yet, here was Paul, who had also been a Pharisee, saying that gentile believers did not need to be circumcised just because Jewish believers were circumcised. That’s huge!

The question that comes to my mind is how many customs and traditions have Christians developed over the years that are just like circumcision? For some it’s baptism of a certain type, for others it’s speaking in tongues (or other manifestations), for others it’s going to church, for others it’s communion specifics, for others it’s designations of priest or pastor to sanctify various things, for others it’s certain social issues, for others it’s sexual orientation, for others it’s certain types of prayers… you get my point.

If God pours out the Holy Spirit on someone who does not match our rules and customs, what then? Is it any different from giving up circumcision?

Jesus turned the Jewish world upside down… but I think Jesus is still turning worlds upside down.

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Seeking Redemption

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 10:43
“…All the prophets testify about him [the Messiah] that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” [Peter speaking to the gentile family of Cornelius]

My daughter is in English 12 and apparently, most of these classes are reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (a wonderful book in my estimation) and I was looking forward to discussing it with her. What was striking to me was her lack of mercy… in the sense that she and her class spent a lot of time discussing the lead character’s flaw/mistake and how he spent the rest of the book “seeking redemption.” In her mind, there was no true redemption possible: his boyhood friend was dead and gone. That was his burden to bear.

Two things came to mind as we were talking. First and foremost, of course, as a believer, is that this is the whole point of the Messiah, Christ Jesus, the great redeemer. No sin is too great that it can’t be covered by the blood and promise of the Christ.

But secondly was the realization that very few teenagers have experienced something in their lives, so horrible, so wrenching that they would need to search with all their hearts for the peace of forgiveness and redemption. They cannot imagine making such a huge mistake that someone would die or be permanently injured or lost. There is no room for true mercy and grace.

I am also reminded of an old friend whose husband broke their marriage covenant and had an affair. She, too, was unable to extend forgiveness or grace. And all I could think was that someday it would be she, herself, who might face her own unthinkable sin or crime. Then she would be the one who needed redemption.

In fact, we are all capable of great sin. We are fooling ourselves to think that we couldn’t act selfishly in the face of difficult circumstances.

Naturally, people may also act nobly. I am not saying that we, as humans, always choose the evil way. There are many who have lost their own lives or lived sacrificially. But I think they are able to do this because they have faced the truth of themselves.

For many years, I have never felt comfortable praying the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” I just couldn’t identify with this concept of calling myself a sinner… what had I really done so bad.

But now, the longer I am a follower of Jesus, I see the truth within. I am no better than any other. My sin is no less than another person’s sin. Even Paul bemoaned this state in Romans 7:19, “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”

Oh yes, I am in need of a redeemer. I am in need of forgiveness and mercy and grace every day. My sin is too great for me to carry alone.

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Stop and Turn Away

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 2:37b-38
“Brothers, what shall we do?” [the crowd] Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit…”

Repent. It’s become such an inaccessible word over the years. It’s like a joke. How many times have we seen caricatures of “preachers” holding up a bible and shaking it over the crowd: “Repent you sinners!” Who can even hear the real message anymore?

And yet, it’s exactly “repent” that is the core to change. Repent is not just a religious term, it’s a personal experience. It’s a choice. Change… for good or evil… cannot happen without choice.

Personally, I find myself bemoaning over the same sins every day: gossip and judging others (to name two of the most popular). Both are extraordinarily nasty sins and I am ashamed to confess them. But the point here is that shedding these sins is not just about confession and the receiving of forgiveness… there is a point where I must “stop” and do something else instead.

Once, in counseling session some years ago, I was crying over these and other “besetting” sins (as though they have a mind and life of their own) and how I struggled with them. In the end, the revelation was simple: “I didn’t want it badly enough” … I didn’t want to change enough. I didn’t want to stop enough. The benefits of continuing were still outweighing the unknown of stopping. Who would I be if I stop this behavior? Who would I be if I change?

So often, people (including me) are more comfortable with our current state because it’s a “known.” But to change or “repent” means we are moving into an unknown territory. We are pioneering into a future we cannot predict. Fear, doubt, insecurities, anxiety also jump into the fray.

I am a bit of a hypocrite. I say I like change, but really, I mean change around me… I can adapt to that kind of change. But, I’m different when it comes to my own behaviors. Those changes are much easier to avoid.

So, today, one challenge: stop and turn away from gossip. If what I say cannot be said with the person standing there beside me, it shouldn’t be said. End of story.

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