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Posts Tagged ‘slander’

This one is right up there with “be holy!” Peter does not mince words. At least in a couple of other translations, rid yourself of such and such is written as “lay aside” or “be done with,” but in any case, this one is on me.


I Peter 2:1-2a
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk . . .

Like any plan to change, it’s important to understand the malady. Drunks can’t stop drinking until they know it’s a problem and so forth. I have to look with honesty, are these corrupting attributes part of my life?

Malice is pretty harsh stuff: a spiteful, intentional desire to do someone harm. The gentrified version of this would be deliberate “payback.” Another version of malice might be keeping a simple list of wrongdoings and justifying some other action because of that list. He owes me, as it were. So, I don’t hate anyone and I’m not by nature one who seeks to do harm, but I have kept a few lists hidden in my heart.

Holy Spirit, I give you permission to clean out those lists: reboot my system.

Deceit is a little less malicious but more roundabout in its application. It’s a lie, even a white lie, told on purpose to misrepresent a situation. It can be an exaggeration or a minimization. In any case, it’s a type of hiding. I justify this behavior by saying the truth will just cause more trouble. My kids have pretty much given me the same lame excuse. This needs to stop.

Holy Spirit, I give you permission to open the vault of my subterfuges. Just, please, don’t let ’em out all at once.

Hypocrisy is a form of acting. I really don’t want to admit publicly that I’m a hypocrite, who does? But I am a good actress and that ability crosses over into daily life, I know it does, without even thinking about it. I want people to like me. But I have made this mistake in relationships too often, trying to be someone I am not because I don’t want to rock the boat.

Holy Spirit, keep me authentic through transparency of heart.

Envy is rooted in American culture and we need some intense weeding here. It came to us under the guise of the American Dream but instead has fueled advertising into making us all want what we do not have. Discontentment with what is has become the norm as though it’s the foundation to ambition. I’ve gotten sucked in more than once: it’s the basic reason for my debt.

Holy Spirit, teach me to be content without sacrificing excellence.

Slander is my worst enemy and my best friend. It’s just a stronger word for gossip. It’s those times I put down someone else to make myself feel better. It’s those times I complain about someone else to gather a personal posse to be on my side. It’s those things I’ve said about other people that would be devastating if they were standing behind me. Oh yeah.

Holy Spirit, hold my tongue, keep me mindful of my words.

Peter says the solution to all of this is craving [thirsting, desiring eagerly] the pure “milk of the Holy Spirit.” This picture is the child at a women’s breast, where only the one can satisfy, with no intermediaries.

Do I crave the presence and intervention of the Holy Spirit? Do I crave the Christ, appropriating daily what was given to me by the sacrifice of the God-Man? Do I eat fruit instead of ice cream?

I am still free to choose.

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Photo by Mike Dykstra

How often do we need to remind someone? In my house, we must remind teenagers every day (and more than once a day) to clean the cat box, empty the trash, and put the dishes in the dishwasher. And how many more times if we added, “choose what is good today.”

Titus 3:1-2
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.
[NIV 2011]

I haven’t been able to verify this piece of information, but I did read somewhere that parents, in order to teach a small child or toddler to say “please” and “thank you,” must be remind the child at least 10,000 times before he or she will remember. That’s daunting. In a year, that’s 27 times a day. And if one has more than child . . . you do the math.

Apparently, it’s not much better with adults who must learn the basics of walking out the faith, the very faith they have chosen to follow and even profess. They must be reminded to choose “good,” to obey authorities, to be considerate and to be gentle towards everyone.

If we must be reminded, the implication is clear: we’re not doing it. I’m not doing it either. Why?

As Samuel Johnson is quoted as saying: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Is it really just forgetting to do it? That’s what my kids say, “I forgot.” My husband is particularly irked by his ignored requests, taking that behavior as a choice and therefore lack of respect.

Maybe it’s just our human tendency to take the easier way, the wide road. After all, choosing to “do good” might take me out of my way or inconvenience me. Being obedient might entail putting that person’s request above my own plans. Or, it could be a type of laziness.

But what about the other elements of this teaching from Paul to Titus? What excuse would there be for not keeping the peace or conducting oneself gently? Is it easier to be argumentative and domineering? Perhaps it’s a safety issue again, a control issue. Somewhere along the line, the idea of being gentle feels too much like being a door mat and keeping the peace may mean giving way to my ideas or my decisions.

Or, maybe I just need to be reminded.

Where do the reminders come from? Sermons? Reading? Small group meetings? Blogs? Music? Yes to all of these and more. We immerse ourselves in these mediums to help us remember.

Other faith traditions do the same thing, keeping feasts and festivals and rituals to help the people remember the why’s of faith.

Today is Good Friday, 2011. It is a day for us to remember the Christ who died, crucified, and the mystery that would be revealed. And as we do, we might also remember the rest of the story, the part that leads us to choose a better way each day.

Thanks be to God.

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Am I so sure that what I am saying about someone is true? When does gossip escalate to becoming slander? What is the motive for speaking badly of someone?

Romans 3:8a
Why not say—as we are being slanderously reported as saying and as some claim that we say—”Let us do evil that good may result”?

Motive! It gets me every time. I know the answer and I shrink at the thought of it. So often, I know, I speak badly of someone just to elevate myself. “Oh, listen to what ‘so and so’ did or said” and of course, the underlying implication is that I would never be so stupid or cruel or thoughtless. And yet, there I am being stupid, cruel, and thoughtless all the same.

I have a tendency already to talk and think at the same time. It’s like I have to hear myself before the thought is thoroughly formed. Generally, when I put my foot in my mouth, I just keep talking, back peddling as it were, and eventually, I manage to talk myself out of a corner. But too often, the words are said, the damage is done, and I have cast aspersions.

Over time, “gossip” has been symbolized by two women babbling in the back yard over a fence. It’s “koffee klatch” stuff, harmless. But really, isn’t it a form of slander?

Gossip and slander are sisters to pride. Why else would we imagine that it would be all right to say such things?

A man [or woman] who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man [or woman] of understanding holds his [her] tongue. [Proverbs 11:12]

Stop my tongue, this day, O Lord. Help me choose silence over chatter.

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