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Posts Tagged ‘trust’

Make Room

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2010| Leave a Comment »

In the end, there is only one person who can “make room” and that’s the individual herself. If someone else does it for you, it’s usually a violation of space. It’s no different with the heart.

II Corinthians 7:2a, 3
Make room for us in your hearts. . . . I do not say this to condemn you; I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you.

I’ll never forget the time I moved down to Atlanta from Indianapolis. Mike and I were engaged and although we had hoped to find a temporary living arrangement for me, it turned out I had to move into his house. While packing up, I could tell there was a lot of stuff. I tried to warn him. He would have to “make room” for me and my belongings. It was a small three-bedroom house but I insisted he clean out one of the bedrooms for me.

But, like most men, he couldn’t foresee the amount of boxes I would bring or the chaos that would come from merging two adult households. Did he make room? He did not. So, the very next day, while he was at work, I cleaned out one of the rooms and put all of it in the TV room. I created space for myself.

Needless to say, he was not a happy camper. I thought he would be thrilled. I did all that work. I organized and moved and emptied almost all of the boxes from the living room and dining room and integrated my kitchen stuff into his (he only had 2 knives, 2 forks, and 2 spoons anyway). But I was “creating” room for me instead of allowing him to “make room.”

Friendships are the same way. There comes a point when we have to “make room” for another person in the heart. Sometimes, we have to open the doors and sweep out some of the old stuff to make room. We may have to get rid of things we’ve been holding onto for a long time.

When it comes to the things of God, it’s the same thing. We have to open up. We have to invite. God only takes up as much space in the heart as we allow. Unlike the dark side that creeps and steals and occupies wherever and whenever we’re not minding the space.

Help me today, oh God, to make room for more of You. Help me to make room for others. It’s time to clean house.

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Transformation

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010| Leave a Comment »

With each day that the veil of my heart is down, the more accessible and available I am for transformation and change. Isn’t that why I keep pulling the veil back up? Transformation is not easy. Old things must pass away and the new is unpredictable.

II Corinthians 3:18
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

I have always considered myself as some kind of agent for change. It’s even part of my personal mission statement, “to inspire meaningful change . . . ” But when it’s my own change, my own transformation, I am a little more reluctant. Oh, I can change my hair, my weight, my clothes, and all the other external trappings. I can change my job and change my tasks. I can change the way I work. But in all of those things, I am in charge. I control the change.

The next step in my Journey requires a submission to the work of Holy Spirit. It’s moving into something more unfamiliar. It’s giving permission to the relationship I have with God to manifest differently.

What does it really mean to be a believer, to love God with my whole heart, soul and mind? What does it really mean to love others, to love my neighbor as myself, to love unconditionally, to the love the unlovely (an not just on a mission trip, but every day).

My theme song for many years has been, “Refiner’s Fire.” But the dross is so familiar, so comfortable, and yet so meaningless in the bigger picture.

I’m still afraid.

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Lifting the Veil

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010| Leave a Comment »

A veil can work two ways. It can protect what is within from outside eyes, but it can also hinder seeing clearly. Which veil do I still wear?

II Corinthians 3:15-16
Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.

I can attest that I experienced a literal dropping of a mental veil when I read the New Testament through for the first time back in 1979 and as a result, acknowledged that Christ was real and had accomplished that mysterious feat of covering my sins with His blood sacrifice and reestablishing a way between me and God. One day the whole thing was gobbledy-gook and the next day, I saw truth in the words. The dropping of that veil was an enlightenment.

But I wonder now, if I haven’t raised a different kind of veil. Much like the Middle Eastern hijab or burqah, am I still hiding behind a veil of the heart? Am I concealing myself from people around me? When I consider the glory within and how I have shuttered it, isn’t that just another description of the veil?

For glory to pass through, the veil must be down. For love to pass back and forth, the veil must be down. This is about transparency and authenticity. This is about trust.

Over the years, I have struggled again and again with disappointment. It’s been a powerful clip-on for the veils in my life. To keep out disappointment, I push away dreams and hopes. To keep out fallible people, I raise standards. To shield myself from the judgment of others, I send out my own arrows of judgment (the best defense being a strong offense).

It is not the way.

Give me courage this day to drop the veil and to reveal myself and with me, the glory that is Christ Jesus. I believe Jesus was comfortable in every setting and with every kind of person because he was open, he was veil-less, he was accessible.

This is my passion for today.

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With Opportunity Comes Opposition

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Truly, whenever a door opens, it does seem that obstacles come flying across and even through the opening. Too often, when this happens to me, I find myself closing the door, fearful of potential attack and worse, for me, failure. A clear view of the way through does not necessarily mean it’s the right door.

I Corinthians 16:8-10
But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.

There’s a Bible story about this situation [Numbers 13-21-30]: Moses sent a group of men to spy out the land of Canaan. When they got there, they found a beautiful land, “flowing with milk and honey.” But along with the verdant land, there were fortified cities and even giants. It all seemed too daunting to the scouts except for Caleb, who believed the opportunity was from God and therefore, worth the cost.

Opposition in the face of opportunity may also mean there is a sacrifice to attaining the goal. Our culture has adopted the “quick fix” way of doing things. If it doesn’t come easily, it’s not worth doing.

I have seen students leave college within one semester because it was so much more difficult they they expected. There was an initial goal but the demands were greater than their desire to overcome the challenges.

I remember when I was first getting into the theater business in Chicago back in the seventies. There weren’t as many professional and semi-professional theaters back then as there are now. As a result, most actors would venture into the modeling or acting in commercials or trade shows (in addition to waiting tables, of course). This process includes presenting oneself to an agency with a head shots and resumes and a hope that they might like you well enough to send you on an audition. The audition: that’s the opportunity.

But every audition would have hundreds of other starving, good-looking, perfect-for-the-part actors and actresses. If a “newbie” didn’t get a job from one or two of those auditions, the agency lost interest. They wanted instant success and verification that the “product” (actor) was a viable commodity.

How do you fight that kind of opposition? Intellectually, I always knew the answer: practice and perseverance. But emotionally, I couldn’t handle the disappointments, the losses, the failures. I didn’t look or sound like the “All-American” girl. Instead of leveraging who I was, I kept trying to be someone I wasn’t. I actually gave in to the opposition.

Opposition builds strength and like fire, separates the dross from the pure gold. It’s a good thing.

God help me accept opposition and to stand firm in its face, to learn what I must learn and then to forge ahead.

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Self-Inflicted Injuries

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2010| 2 Comments »

Every time I hurt someone within the Body of Christ, even inadvertently, I am actually hurting myself. If I gossip against someone, I am dishonoring myself. If I ignore someone intentionally, I am cutting myself off. I am committing a slow suicide by poison.

I Corinthians 12:21, 26
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” . . . If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

I used to think of these verses as sharing in the sufferings of the saints. In other words, as others experience pain or sorrow, I share in that pain and thereby help the one who is hurting. But today, I see that I am part of the problem. And, more than likely, this truth applies to more than just the body of believers.

Psychologists say that the very things we complain about in others or “see” in the behaviors of others, these are our own bad habits as well. If we observe selfishness in others, we are probably acting selfishly ourselves. When we blanch at someone’s rudeness, chances are we are equally rude.

So, what do I do more than anything else? Judge others. And sure enough, I am also being judged. [Matthew 7:1] When am I going to get this?

I have never understood people, particularly teens, who cut themselves. They say it’s to “feel something” because they have become so numbed by emotional pain and depression. Am I hurting others with my judgments and “tongue” for the same reason? Do I think I will feel better by continuing in this habit?

Don’t I want love as much as the next person? Of course. Then, it’s time to radically change my weapons. It’s time to heal, to love, to mediate, to listen, to accept, to trust. It’s time to really love unconditionally the unlovely, the seemingly dishonorable, the broken.

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Holy Adaptation

Posted in Feast Days and Holy Days, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 23, 2010| 2 Comments »

Since I struggle with chameleon tendencies, I have been uncomfortable with Paul’s assertion to “become all things to all men” to win them to the faith. But then I realized: non-judgmentalism comes with adaptation. And that’s the crux of it all.

I Corinthians 9:22b
I have [in short] become all things to all men, that I might by all means (at all costs and in any and every way) save some [by winning them to faith in Jesus Christ] [Amplified]

Paul consciously chose to adapt to the people around him; he was not pretending to be someone else to be liked. He chose to “be” with people fully. Jesus did the same thing. He spoke to be understood. He genuinely listened. He was present in the moment.

Adapting does not necessarily mean imitating. It’s not necessary to speak crassly to be around people who do. Nor does it mean I must smoke, use drugs, or drink because they do. But, it does mean I can’t condemn them for their way of speech or habits. It is accepting them where they are right now that makes the whole difference.

I am personally sensitive to cursory attention. When I am out of my own comfort zone, around wealthier people or people with greater authority or power, I am aware of my non-status in some of their eyes and demeanor. And I yet, I think I do the same thing to others who don’t measure up to my own internally set standards. God forbid.

People don’t want my pity, my sympathy, or my indulgence. All of these come with an assumption that I have it better than they do, either by luck or perseverance. And yet, does that make me better?

It goes back to the “sacred other.” It goes back to the heart of humanity. Instead of identifying differences, I want to be seeking for similarities.

As babies, we were all seeking the same thing: safety. And that safety was demonstrated to us by a primary caregiver. If we didn’t get that then, we are still looking for it as children, teens, or adults.

Am I a place of safety for others? Can I become one? Isn’t this part of my mission as a believer? To manifest acceptance and safety: “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” [Psalm 32:7] “My [Jesus’s] prayer is not that you [God] take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” [John 17:15]

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This Current Crisis

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Other translations of this phrase are “this present distress” or “this present trouble.” The entire discussion on not marrying or marrying is about that moment in time. Paul believed the time was short. But we’re still here. And what is the application for us?

I Corinthians 7:26, 29a, 30b
Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. . . .What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. . . . For this world in its present form is passing away.

The commentaries are numerous on these passages and the emphasis is almost entirely on the attachments to worldly comforts and the responsibilities of a mate and/or children (I presume). And certainly, much can be said for being unattached to any of these things. But alas, I am neither. I am a wife, a mother, and culturally, I confess, I’m tethered to the conveniences of my world.

But for me, it’s the phrase about timing that intrigues me the most. Paul was pretty sure that Christ would return within his generation, if not within his lifetime. This, in itself, does reflect on the human-ness of Paul. He was wrong on this point, and in a big way. For him, the times were bad. Later, they got worse for that part of the world when the Romans besieged Jerusalem and destroyed it. That was certainly the end of the “their world in its present form.”

And what about our own crisis? What about our culture’s troubles? What would help? Only one thing, single or married, could make a difference. The practice of the presence of Christ. Nothing else. It is this presence within that has the power to change our responses to the world. It is the Christ spirit that is perceived as light. It is the love of God that transforms situations. When that is present, then the attachment to the world becomes less by default. Marriages remain whole. Singles remain trusting.

We cannot take on the outer trappings of Paul’s recommendations and expect change. For me, it must begin within.

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