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Posts Tagged ‘way of Jesus’

Crucified in Weakness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 6, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Did the ones who stood vigil at the cross really believe Jesus would die? I don’t think so. They expected a reprieve or a last minute miracle. After all, this was the man who stilled a storm, gave sight to the blind and raised a dead man. Was this his final display of strength in weakness?

II Corinthians 13:4
For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him to serve you.

It’s all there in the crucifixion story: die to live, weaken to strengthen, submit to rule, forgive to trust, suffer to heal, and so forth. These opposites trail after me. When am I going to get it?

Last night I had a dream about a very large black dog that charged toward me and instead of running away or standing stock still, I squatted down, held out my arms to hug him and nuzzle him. I seriously doubt this technique would work in real life. But in the dream, the dog responded and simply rubbed my face and neck the same way my big Snooki dog (a black lab mix) does. It’s a start.

Weakness can be a choice for the good of the moment.

For me, this means saying, “You’re right,” more often or “I take full responsibility for that mistake,” or “I was wrong.” It means listening even when I disagree. It means giving opportunities to others that I would like to have. It can mean serving without recognition or diligence without admiration. It can mean accepting surprises and unintended consequences with grace. It can mean a certain lack of control.

My big joke about myself has always been that I prefer “planned spontaneity.” When an old friend who was a 5th grade science teacher told me she would run experiments in class without knowing the outcome, I paled. How often have I told people, “I’ll do it!” not because I wanted to help but because I didn’t trust anyone else to “do it right.”

That’s a shame to me now. It’s time to respond differently. It’s time to let go of my controlling nature. It’s time to stop previewing the future, planning every step, and manipulating outcomes.

I’m not so sure that even Jesus knew how things would play out. But his trust in God was rooted deeply and in the end, even in fear and doubt, he died with hope. Was he surprised when he found himself back in the world? We’ll never know. But he certainly walked about in new understanding.

This is what can happen to us as well. Once we let go of “our way,” we are able to discover another way that is God-breathed.

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Warnings!

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2010| 1 Comment »

I know God is trying to get my attention: sometimes through people telling me of roadblocks ahead while other times through circumstances. But, like a bull in a china shop, I tend to charge right in. On occasion, the china escapes unscathed. But too often, there’s a great sound of shattering glass.

II Corinthians 12:20
For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.

My independent streak started at a young age. My father died when I was only nine and I was a latch key kid for several years. My mother was a difficult woman who suffered from bipolar disorder (we only figured that out much later). She was unpredictable and ultimately, for me, unsafe. I told her as little as I could and I made many of my own decisions. These choices included getting married at eighteen (I was already a Junior in college), because I was sure I was ready to be out on my own, divorcing 5 years later, moving to New York City to be come “rich and famous.” These early years set up lots of walls.

It’s hard to hear or see warnings when a person is so doggone “capable.”

Somehow, I have allowed myself to believe that warnings are a negative thing. They are restrictions. They are penalties. But today, I have a new view.

God’s warnings are actually lighthouses. The beams of light give instruction and information: be careful, danger is nearby, be alert, watch! Everything is fine, just be on guard for challenges. Avoid unnecessary consequences. Change course if necessary. There is always another way to get there. I love you. I care about you.

As a parent, I have tried to be a lighthouse for my children. And don’t I do this out of my love for them? Would God do any less?

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Not the Stuff–the Heart

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 1, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I used to make the mistake of thinking that networking was about figuring out what someone else could do for me. Now I understand, true networking is about the heart. Networking is just meeting people, listening to people, and caring about people. Jesus was the best “networker” ever!

II Corinthians 12:14a
Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. . . .

In years past, I have participated in a lot of mapped out “evangelism” programs that focused on getting the “client” (poor sap who answered the door in neighborhood canvassing), to YES. It was like a business transaction. It was my job to lay out the situation (sin) and what I had to offer to solve that problem. Accept Jesus and those problems will be covered by the blood and you get an all expenses paid trip to heaven at the end of the whole shebang.

It never occurred to me (back in the day) that “Evangelism Explosion” or the presentation of the “Four Spiritual Laws” or handing out bibles at the mall or tucking tracts into crevices at public places was a long way from relationship.

It takes time to reach the heart. It takes time to earn trust.

People who are in need of help do not require coercion or convincing. This is one reason people, who are poor, hungry, sick, and terrorized, respond easily to the outstretched hand of a loving God.

But our American culture is filled with “stuff.” We have bent ourselves to the lure and trappings of comfort and possessions. We are like two year olds: No! I can do it myself. I don’t need your help. Me. My. Mine. My way. More, more, more.

Who needs God when we have all the stuff? As long as someone thinks it’s about the stuff, he/she will not need to hear me.

I can only speak out of the heart for that is what makes me uniquely “me.” And in that time, I want to know that person. And if, in that exchange of selves, we discover a place of authenticity where I can offer the story of what I have experienced in Christ and how that relationship meets me daily at the point of true need, then that is a glory moment.

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Forgetful Followers

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 31, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Hard to believe: but we do forget the good things and miracles. Paul laments about the Corinthians, Moses about the Israelites, and Lord knows what head shaking is going on in heaven about me. Haven’t there been miracles and signs & wonders in my life too?

II Corinthians 12:11
Now I have been [speaking like] a fool! But you forced me to it, for I ought to have been [saved the necessity and] commended by you. For I have not fallen short one bit or proved myself at all inferior to those superlative [false] apostles [of yours], even if I am nothing (a nobody). [Amplified]

For awhile, after something wonderful has happened, we talk about it and share the story and give praises to God who touched our 3-D world with a word and changed everything in an instant. For a very brief season, we are amazed and astounded. Wow! God did that? God healed me. God saved me from being hurt in a car accident. God brought my children back. God provided food, clothing, shelter, and a job, etc.

But we humans, and I know how human I am . . . we tend ask, “what have you done for me lately?”

I stand convicted of this.

As I read through Paul’s dealings with the Corinthian church, I can hear his deep frustration and hurt.

He’s like a mother who is astounded at her beloved child for whom she did everything, and yet, here is the kid in the Detention Center or pregnant or in the hospital for a drug overdose or laid out in a morgue. How could they forget our love? Why didn’t it matter?

Paul gave and gave of himself but still, it was not enough to sustain the faith over the distance. Jesus gave and gave too. And yet, people didn’t get the message at the root of their beings either.

The parable of the sower [Matthew 13:1-23] is about us too. More of us are the rocky path, the shallow soil and the thorn patch than good rich soil. We hear the truth, we see the truth, but we don’t remember.

Forgive me Lord. Keep me mindful today. Keep me mindful of your works and your word. Keep me mindful of you.

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Open Way of Weakness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on August 30, 2010| Leave a Comment »

What is my weakness? Is it my besetting sins or lack of will power? Is my weakness in my aging body that can no longer do what it used to do? Is it my fears? Is it my lack of resolve? Does it matter?

II Corinthians 12:9a, 12b
But he [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”. . . when I [Paul] am weak, then I am strong.

Another enigma to chew on today. What is weakness and what is strength? Why is weakness held up to be a good thing? Isn’t it weakness that opens a door to people hurting me, either physically or emotionally? Won’t people take advantage of me if I am weak? Won’t I be chastened for not carrying my share of the burden?

Who proclaims weakness as a good thing? That’s crazy!

Or is it? How many times have my “strengths” gotten me in more difficult circumstances? How many times has my confidence become pride? How often have I tripped while running too fast, like a little kid at the pool?

St. Paul was a natural in the “strength” department. At least, that’s how he started out. He had money, power, education, and ambition. He was a “Pharisee of Pharisees.” He was undoubtedly being groomed for great things.

When he was called into the ministry of Christ, these attributes of his had to be shed in order for him to experience more fully the power and strength of Jesus–a different kind of strength. Not Paul’s way but the way of Jesus, the way of paradox, the unexpected path, the narrow road.

We are not called to be like Paul. We are called to be like Jesus. And what does that mean for each person . . . for me?

The appearance of strength is not strength; nor is the appearance of confidence, the real thing. Underneath all of the bluster is weakness. It’s not like I have to “become” weak to be strong in Christ. I already am. I just have to be willing to reveal it.

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Humility in the Miracles

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 28, 2010| Leave a Comment »

People who are regularly used of God in miraculous ways do not need to talk about it. It’s the one-shot Sally’s who go on and on about the marvel. I’ve been guilty of this myself–not good.

II Corinthians 12:5-6
I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.

It’s not that the miracle didn’t happen. It did. And certainly, to be on the receiving end of a miracle is worth shouting about.

But I’m talking about the messenger, the hands that were laid on the sick, the prayer that was said for wholeness, or the advocate who placed the petition at the foot of the cross. This is the one who must learn and walk in humility and silence. It’s a most difficult road.

I am sure Paul was used in a vast array of miracle-working ways. Some of these incidents are shared in scripture, but I’m guessing many are not. Clearly, he was anointed by God and sent by Christ. He knew and understood the temptation to boast of such things. He saw the results of this boasting in others. It became a separation between the purity of the Spirit moving through the healer and human pride.

We are all called, as vessels of the supernatural, to bring light, healing, and wholeness to those around us. This was the plan all along. Christ within.

“Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” [John 14:11-12]

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Strength in Weakness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »

For those who read my meditations regularly, you know I am intrigued by the sweep of paradox in scripture. Strength in weakness is one of the most difficult concepts to put my head around since the display of strength is my security blanket.

II Corinthians 11:30-31
If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying.

Back in the day, I worked with a small group of friends to build an avant garde dance theatre company in New York City. These types of projects are always a bit “hand to mouth” and poorly funded. It can be very stressful. I was in charge of the finances (using mostly my personal funds) and the administration of the company in addition to working full time and going to school. After a year of this, I was at the breaking point. At one of our meetings, I confessed, I was falling apart inside and I couldn’t continue to be the rock anymore. They would not allow it. “You have to be strong. We depend on you to be strong.”

And then I knew we had, all of us, put our confidence in the wrong thing: my strength and confidence That kind of strength is an illusion.

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. [Psalm 18:32]
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. [Psalm 46:1]

But God cannot arm me with strength or “be” my strength as long as I continue in the “world’s strongest woman competition.” I have to believe in the promise. I have to be willing to reveal my weakness and only then will God’s strength be visible. My strength is a mere veil to the real thing.

Some of the tools:

  • Be willing to say, “I don’t know.”
  • Choose silence.
  • Acknowledge the successes of others.
  • Accept mistakes.
  • Forgo the praise of others.
  • Relinquish control.
  • Embrace the feelings.
  • Open the heart.
  • Submit to outside circumstances.
  • Build trust.
  • Pray.
  • Respond to the Holy Spirit.

It is one thing to talk about paradox but it’s another to actually live it. This takes a great leap of faith. It’s time to jump.

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