Meditations from Zion

The hard part in these verses, the first of seven admonitions to the churches in Asia under John’s authority, is the complimentary tone, the praise for all of their hard work, and in particular, their endurance and perseverance. And yet, it is for nothing without love.

Revelation 2:3-4
I know you are enduring patiently and are bearing up for My name’s sake, and you have not fainted or become exhausted or grown weary. But I have this [one charge to make] against you: that you have left (abandoned) the love that you had at first [you have deserted Me, your first love]. [Amplified]

This is the classic Mary/Martha conundrum [Luke 10:38-42] where Martha, the overly busy one is chastised by Jesus whereas Mary is praised, not for her “good works” but her devotion, her love.

I think about my early weeks as a believer. They were indeed like the proverbial honeymoon. I wanted to be in the Presence as much as possible. I prayed effortlessly for hours. I devoured the scriptures, cover to cover, several times over. I wanted to know God. I wanted to catch up. I had missed so much.

As a child, I was raised in the Latvian Lutheran church, and that, in itself, is not bad, but growing up in America where my heritage became more and more of an add-on instead of a way of life, I kicked against the church just as I kicked against Latvian school and speaking Latvian in the home. I did not really listen. I did not learn. And as a result, by the time I reached adulthood, I knew the Bible as a group of stories and parables. It held no life.

Many years later, in the noise and speed of New York City, miles from my hometown in Indiana, living the life I had imagined a young actress should lead, the last person I expected to encounter was the Christ.

My encounter was personal, just the Word, the Presence and me, Christmas Eve, 1979. At first, uncomfortable with my new found love, I mumbled my decision to follow this Savior. I didn’t really want anyone to know. But things do change and people saw my change and the old haunts, the old ways, no longer had appeal. In some cases, it was a test . . . not for me, but for this God I had chosen to follow. And that one was faithful, eventually removing me from each and every terror, drug habit, drinking habit, and erotica.

My first love first loved me.

But thirty years is a long time and like an old married couple, I have become somewhat cavalier in my relationship. Still busy, still faithful, but without the wonder. I am a good volunteer. I say “yes” to almost every task. I fill my calendar.

Irmgarde,” the Lord might say, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. And Mary is an example of what it means to choose what is better.