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Posts Tagged ‘acceptance’

Accept What Is

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Opposites. Either I judge others quickly, forgetting I am equally fallen; or, I wash over reality because I want everything to be smooth sailing. (Don’t rock the boat.) Both ways are problematic and reflect denial.

Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Paul writes that we must accept one another but the acceptance must be based on truth. It’s not about accepting someone as we “wish” he or she might be (eventually) but accepting what is really there. That’s not particularly easy if the person is difficult.

I confess, I withhold a lot of my acceptance of others based on their behaviors. I accept them “up to a point,” but not really. And yet, Christ accepted me right where I was 30 years ago: alcoholic, drug-dependent, crass, slovenly, and immoral. Jesus did not wait until I got my act together or became approachable. I was book smart but Bible naive. I didn’t know I needed a savior. I didn’t believe I needed anyone.

The stories of Jesus show his ability to accept others over and over again. It’s one of the reasons the Pharisees and “teachers of the law” chastised him: eating and drinking with sinners. Jesus allowed himself to touch, listen, and understand others who were immersed in sin but was confident in the Spirit of the Father within to keep him centered and whole. Jesus knew Himself.

Historically, I have been a bit of a chameleon and unconscious mimic. When I lived in the South for a few years, I developed a pretty strong southern accent, just by sheer exposure. When my kids bring home slang from school, I find myself incorporating it into my daily language without effort. I am too much like a sponge.

One of my favorite illustrations of this phenomenon was years ago when I had my first real “day job” in an advertising agency accounting pool back in Chicago. Thirty women sat in rows of desks with calculators and piles of paper. Initially, I was the oddball, the hippie in my colorful clothes and wire-rimmed glasses who mocked those girls for talking every day about their dinners the night before and what they watched on television. A year later, I had become one with them. I was talking recipes, husbands, television soaps, and vacations. I had acclimated and conformed to the daily norm. It was a type of acceptance, but not the one that Jesus proposes.

It’s not about fitting in. It’s about being strong in heart.

Accepting others comes from within. Accepting others, based on truth, requires an honest assessment of oneself first, then others. Accepting others is a kindness, a type of love. Accepting others is inclusive. Accepting others gives permission for that person to simply “be.” Accepting others allows for differences.

Today, I know, I will be challenged to accept others. Keep me centered in order to be fully present in the reality of others. Keep my heart open and yet fully infused with the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Thanks be to God.

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I Can Only Live My Story

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2010| 4 Comments »

Just live my story, that’s all I am asked to do. If I could keep it clear in my head that it’s my own journey that is mine to share, to correct, to adapt, to transform, and unfortunately, to also withhold, warp, or destroy, then I wouldn’t be so judgmental of others.

Romans 14:10, 12
Why do you criticize and pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you look down upon or despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God. . . . And so each of us shall give an account of himself [give an answer in reference to judgment] to God. [Amplified]

God has the end of all the stories in hand. I cannot know what is in the heart of another person or their struggles or their understanding in this moment. Each person’s way carries its own challenges. Truly, who am I to say whether this one or that one is doing the best with what has been given to bear. We are all trying to figure it out. We are all trying to make the best of it.

These passages from Romans are actually an invitation to freedom. It is not for me to carry another’s journey. I can walk beside. I can live fully in my own understanding of a life in Christ and it is in that living that others might experience contact with love, hope, joy, etc. But it is not for me to drag the unwilling along my way. Nor is it for me to condemn their way (for the path could change in a moment).

To help another is simply to be present with that “sacred other.” To help another is to give access to my heart and soul. It is only my authentic self that can give life. It is only the Christ within who can touch a life.

Oh Lord God, may my account in that last day be a testimony of discovery: more of Christ and less of me.

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Windows of Opportunity

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2010| 2 Comments »

The passage I read today from Romans is not a particular favorite. Talk of cutting off and God’s sternness and unbelief is always difficult. As I contemplated these unpleasant attributes of God, I considered the importance of timing.

Romans 11:23
And if they [Israelites] do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again.

Each of us has windows of opportunity to experience or meet God. I can certainly look back and see some of those windows that opened and closed. They were crossroads I didn’t recognize at the time because I took the other way. As a child, I can remember going to Vacation Bible School and although I enjoyed the activities and “something to do” in the summer, I didn’t meet God there. And later in high school, one of my closest friends was a PK (preacher’s kid) and I adored her family but it never occurred to me to embrace their God. In college, I was in a sorority where many of the girls were active in Campus Crusade, but I didn’t even consider attending a meeting. There must have been more of these “close calls from Christ” in my young adult years, but I don’t remember them.

God reached out to me and for that season of time, I could have looked through and believed. Who would I have become? No telling.

I am grateful there were many windows.

If there were many windows for me, then there are many windows for others. Christians get so hung up thinking about someone who hasn’t “accepted Christ” and “oh, they will be lost forever.” But there is always another opportunity. There is always another moment in time. We just can’t see it now.

My mother was against all things religious for years and years. By the time she reached her nineties and was living with us, I assumed she would never experience God in any kind of real way. Then, as dementia set in, the likelihood seemed even more remote. But one night, while I was sitting by her bed, chatting quietly until she fell asleep, she said, “Oh, look, it’s Jesus,” and then, “Oh, he’s reaching out to me with an invitation (this was all in Latvian, so the word was specific to a card or written invitation),” and then, after some moments she said, “I think I’ll take it. Yes, I’m going to take it.” And then after some silence, she opened her eyes and told me how beautiful it all was. I was mesmerized. I thought she might die in that moment and just go on to be with the Christ. It was an amazing experience to watch her face, her countenance and to hear the quality of her voice. It was a different woman, totally coherent, and totally enraptured. She died a few weeks later.

My mother had missed ninety years of open windows, but there was still another window ready to open again.

God can be stern and even close windows for a season, but in the end, there is still that grace and mercy and kindness. God will reach in. Today or tomorrow. It doesn’t matter to God who exists outside of human time. Holy, holy, holy.

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Inheritance by Grace

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Am I finally getting it? Every promise of God is possible because of grace. If my inheritance depended on my ability to obey the law, all would be lost. There is no sinless life and I am no different.

Romans 4:16a
Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham’s offspring . . .

Why does it all feel so difficult then? Why can’t I enjoy the full freedom that grace affords? Certainly I’m doing better in this aspect, but I still battle with the traditional culture of “shoulds” and “should haves” and “shouldn’t haves.” You know, you “shouldn’t” read that kind of book, you “should have” gone to church today, you “shouldn’t have” wine with dinner. But the court room cannot be in my own head or my perceptions of what “others” think. There is only one Judge that matters.

My historic difficulties have been wrapped around trying too hard: trying to be a “concept” Christian. I have tried to live the “idea” of being a Christian by doing “this” but not “that,” by embracing the unspoken rules of Christian behavior, by wearing a “believer’s” mask.

My focus this year must be on confession. Freedom and grace come through acts of confession. Authenticity of the heart begins with a transparent relationship with God. I long for true fellowship with other people of faith (koinonia), but I cannot expect to achieve this if I shutter myself from God, much less my family, friends, acquaintances, and fellow believers.

True obedience to the “law” comes from the heart and the heart is only prepared to obey when it is clear and whole. This holiness (wholeness) comes forth through the gate of confession.

Can I extend my understanding of grace to other people? Can I shed my tendency to judge others by pouring out the same oil of grace upon them that God is pouring out on me? Do I have the courage to invite them to remove their masks with the promise that I will not turn away? And what about the people who have grown tired of wearing a mask, who no longer have the energy to put one on anymore, who appear to be content in their darkness, can I be the light of grace for them?

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Egyptian Terrorist

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2009| Leave a Comment »

The Roman commander may have saved Paul from the savage crowd but he still mistook him for an Egyptian terrorist! How could that be? Is it possible the commander saw what he wanted to see and not what was actually there?

Acts 21:38
“Aren’t you the Egyptian who started a revolt and led four thousand terrorists out into the desert some time ago?” [Commander arresting Paul]

Expectations are powerful and can lead us astray easily.

There was little to no evidence for the commander to suspect Paul to be a terrorist. I doubt Paul looked like an Egyptian, nor was he fighting off the crowd, nor did he have followers who were armed and dangerous. The only evidence was the crowd’s reaction to Paul. The commander may have assumed the situation was political. He could not imagine the riot was about differences in religious views. Or, that it was about who could be “in” and who was “out?” Or, who could be a follower and who could not? Or, who should be circumcised and who should not?

To the traditional Jews, it was bad enough that Paul was preaching/teaching about this Jesus as the Messiah, but now word had spread that Paul had embraced the gentiles and was opening the faith to them. He had crossed a line they could tolerate.

One of my favorite musicals is Fiddler on the Roof. Tevye, the father, is faced with constant change as his daughters come of age to marry. The first one challenges the tradition that marriages are arranged and she marries out of love. Tevya begrudgingly complies. His second daughter falls in love with a zealot who is ultimately arrested and sent to Siberia. She decides to follow her love and Tevye, again, allows her to go, but with deep misgivings. But, when the the youngest daughter falls in love with a gentile, it is a line that Tevye cannot and will not cross. She is cast out and “dead to him.” In the end, the Russian pogrom disrupts their entire village. As Tevye’s family members are dispersed and may never see each other again, Tevye relents and speaks a small “God be with you” to his beloved daughter and her gentile husband.

Tevye had expectations. We all do… for our lives and for our children. Sometimes we expect the best and sometimes we expect the worst. Instead, I believe we must be willing to lay aside our expectations. Everyone’s journey is different. We can hope for the best, but we must accept the truth of what is happening in the present as well.

Another set of expectations rise up when we meet people who are different from ourselves. They may be from another country, speak a different language, or just live in a different neighborhood. Their skin may be of a different color. They may practice a different set of religious values or family structure. If we lay down our expectations, we may be surprised by what we discover: a beating heart, a yearning soul, a bright mind.

Keep my heart open today Lord. Help me to seek the heart of others and to see past our differences. Check my spirit when I start thinking that someone might be an “Egyptian terrorist” based on superficial circumstances or appearances.

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Truth is a Counselor

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , on August 10, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 14:16
“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth…”

Why do we seek counsel? Isn’t it usually to determine some truth in a matter?

There are lots of opinions about truth and it gets particularly dicey when we add adjectives to the word. For instance: absolute truth, subjective truth, universal truth, relative truth, or objective truth (just to name the big ones). I have even seen truth parlayed with just an article or a preposition, like “the” truth, or “a” truth, or “some” truth.

If you want to read more about truth, just check out Wikipedia for an extensive list of “theories” about truth, written by an equally long list of philosophers.

I don’t think I can compete with any of these definitions or understandings. I am neither a theologian nor a philosopher. I just like the idea that truth is a counselor. When I am confused or conflicted, I am being promised here that truth will be help me sort things out. And according to Jesus, Truth lives with me and within me.

Truth asks the hard questions. Truth guides my thoughts. Truth is my mirror. Truth listens. Truth is playful. Truth is orderly. Truth accepts where I am today but hopes for a better tomorrow. Truth knows the worst of me and never turns away. Truth is in the revelation business and the “Aha!” moment: like now.

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Endless Future

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 31, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 1:48-49
[Mary said] “… for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.”

From now on… those are deep words for anyone who is trying to figure out today. From now on, I will look at the rest of my differently. From now on, I will invite tomorrow into my life. From now on, I will expect God, who is holy, to continue to do great things for me. From now on…

We cannot walk our own future. We can make plans and we can anticipate problems and we can lay a strong foundation, but in the end, the future is a God thing and anything can happen.

The greatest preparation we can make for the future is to accept what the future brings and “work it.” There is richness in the now if we accept it as a gift from our future.

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