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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

Afraid of Healing

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , on May 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Mark 5:15
When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid.

I’ve been contemplating what it would mean to me to see someone transformed before my eyes. Why do we fear miracles?

In some ways, I think it’s similar to growing up in a dysfunctional family (who hasn’t?) and recreating those patterns in our adult life. It’s what we know. It’s our little norm. Healing, then, is not part of the norm.

I think about my daughter’s recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia. She has had pain in her body as long as she can remember. She never knew that people didn’t hurt to get out of bed or pick up clothes off the floor. Would she recognize her body without the pain and with full range of motion? She can’t even imagine it or vision it.

And, I think about the people who surround those who want to change. I remember some years ago when I joined Weight Watchers and the group leader warned us about our friends: the very ones who might sabotage our efforts. “Oh, you can have just one cookie, can’t you?” “Oh come on, it’s my birthday!” and so on. I understand that alcoholics run into similar sabotage if the loved ones are not on board with the program. Enablers don’t like change.

Lord, don’t let me sabotage anyone who is trying to change! Don’t let me fear transformation… in myself or in others. (Mark 9:24b “…I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”)

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Have You Forsaken Me?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , on April 8, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Matthew 27:46
About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

We don’t know how God will save. Despite Jesus being God in the flesh, he was also limited by this flesh and did not really know how the end (or the beginning) would manifest. All around him were mockers. All around him were soldiers “just doing their jobs.” And even, around him, were a few faithful, believing in him still… somehow. But what would happen next? He had already suffered so much: the betrayal, the false hearings before the Sanhedrin and Herod, the flogging, the long walk to his the Golgotha, the nails, the erecting of the cross with his body impaled upon it.

How much more could he bear? How would his salvation come? Would he know death? And still, the pain of the flesh overcame everything. And there was the most human experience of all: fear and doubt.

Had Jesus known these anytime before? I can’t think of one. Even in the face of Lazarus’ death, he sorrowed, but he knew. But here, I think he felt the intensity of our human fragility.

We don’t know how God will save. For Jesus, he went to the end of human life to find the beginning of new life. And this is so for many of our loved ones. But there are also dramatic reversals, healings, mercy, transformations, love, and renewal. Everything is possible now because Jesus pressed into the reality of his fear and doubt and still surrendered to the wisdom of God: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

Today I will remember surrender.

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Will You Recognize God?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , on March 25, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 19:44b
“…They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

“If it was a snake, it would have bit me.” That’s an old Southern saying about missing something in plain sight. Will I miss God today? So often, when we talk about being in awe of God (“fearing God”), we remember an amazing nature scene or something cataclysmic that shows God’s power or, perhaps it’s something man-made, but of such beauty, that we are sure it is inspired by God. But, what about the ordinary? What about the rocks in the road that would have cried out when Jesus entered Jerusalem that fateful week of his sacrifice. They recognized God in Christ.

Jerusalem was a city of sophistication. There was culture, knowledge, money, power, and much, much more. And yet, the people did not recognize God coming. They had stopped looking. They accepted the normal flow of things and people and commerce, but didn’t really see.

Open my eyes today, Lord, that I might see You. Open my ears… Open my heart. Let me see You in the ordinary.

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Why Do You Doubt?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , on March 24, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

As much as God has done for me… why do I doubt? I think I know. It’s because I think/believe/fear the good things will stop. Some of it comes from my constant battle with condemnation: “you don’t deserve this,” etc. Some of it comes from old scripts, “you don’t appreciate what you have” (that’s my mother talking, in case you’re wondering). And some of it is my trust issues, “if I don’t protect/control this situation, it’s going to go downhill.”

God’s prophets, throughout the scripture, keep telling us to “remember!” We are to remember all the wonderful things God has done for us. And in this, our faith will be stirred. Our hope will be rekindled. Our trust will be buoyed. Our mind will be renewed.

Today, I will remember, keep my eyes on the Lord, and walk on the waters of fears.

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