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Posts Tagged ‘God’

surrenderIt’s an unpleasant word: bondage. It brings up all kinds of lascivious images of chains and whips and leather. It’s the new interpretation of the word; it’s the culture in which we live. But in this case, it’s about slavery and compulsion and captivity. It is the antithesis to freedom.

During the time before you knew God, you were slaves to powers that are not gods at all. But now, when you are just beginning to know the one True God—actually, He is showing how completely He knows you—how can you turn back to weak and worthless idols made by men, icons of these spiritual powers? Haven’t you endured enough bondage to these breathless idols? [Galatians 4:8-9; The Voice translation]

And the phrase that I keep hearing is “haven’t you endured enough bondage . . . ” How much more do I need to experience before I finally set free from my old self, my old habits, my old way?

I have read that a body, once overweight, believes that higher weight is the norm. As a result, despite conscientious diet and exercise, the body will continue to betray and crave. It wants the old me back again: indulgent and insatiable.

Haven’t you endured enough? Haven’t I endured enough? I have.

I want everything that God has for me.

When I was just a baby believer, trying to figure out what it even meant to follow Christ and how it would change me . . . or, did I even want to change? No, not back then. Truthfully? I wanted everything to stay the same, just add in the Jesus bit. I thought I could treat Jesus like a spice, just sprinkle it on top. That is not how it works. Not really. And especially not if I say the words and surrender.

And I did. I waved the white flag back then and again and again and again. Each time, each year, a new surrender, a new discovery.

That’s been the journey; two steps forward, one step back. But I feel as though I am coming to a new place, a fork in my road, a new terrain. It’s like the last push before reaching the top of the mountain.

Ready.

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Art by Brad Moody

Art by Brad Moody

Honestly, it never occurred to me that walking on water might be normal behavior. Think about it. The way the story goes, Jesus finished praying and then headed out by the most direct route (across the water) to meet up with his friends. It’s not like he stood at the shore and said to himself, “wait til they see this!” It was simply a means to an end. It could have been a true turning point for the disciples. Instead, it was one more picture lesson in faith.

O you of little faith. Why did you doubt and dance back and forth between following Me and heeding fear? [Matthew 14:31b, The Voice translation]

Most Christians, when they get a hold of the possibility that miracles are still possible today, focus on healing. After all, Jesus did a lot of healing and when faced with the pain and suffering of those around us, we want to help, we want to save them, we want to keep our loved ones with us. Heal them Father, we cry out. Have mercy.

When danger is before us, we cry out. When death is near, we shout. When fear feeds on our hearts, we beg for relief.

But no one, at least no one in my circle of friends, asks to walk on water. What’s the point? Walking on water won’t change the world around me, it won’t heal or alleviate suffering, it won’t bring the dead back to life, it won’t change anything. Except for myself.

That’s right. Walking on water is a personal transformation. It’s an assurance of faith within. It’s a breakthrough in surrender, full and complete. All in.

If I walk on water, then all is possible. It’s not the cliche of being perfect at all. It’s something totally different: it’s trust and fearlessness in the face of the natural laws of nature. It is outside 3-D experience. It is Spirit leading flesh, in charge. What it really means is to live in mutuality with the Holy Spirit. “At that time, you will know that I am in the Father, you are in Me, and I am in you.” [John 14:20

Walking on water is the antithesis of fear. Perfect love casts out fear [I John 4:18] and sets the stage for that journey.

Miracles and water walking are a natural outgrowth of a focused faith: love God, love others. This is our part of the bargain–the covenant. Simple. Impossible? Possible.

 

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welcomeOf course, back in my day (the dark ages, I guess), people rarely moved in together without getting married. Or, if they did, it was on the sly or somehow covered up. Now, this “moving in” business is quite the norm, but I have to wonder, how does that transaction go? How do you decide to make the plunge?

The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. [I John 3:24, NIV]

It’s not the same as marriage, not really. I mean, generally speaking, there is not formal document or witnesses to the decision.

Some people move in bit by bit. You know, he (or she) drinks a little too much and really shouldn’t drive home or it gets to be so late, that it’s more convenient to simply spend the night. And then some of the personal toiletries begin to appear and a couple of pairs of clean underwear and voila! A space in the closet, a favorite coffee cup, and an empty drawer. Won’t be long now.

Some people have a nice dinner and talk it over. They might even create plus/minus columns (in their heads) and talk through all the practical reasons to do it (cheaper in the long run, more convenient – or less – to work, better than phone call or skype, etc.)

Some people decide and then change up the place all together. Some people split their time between two places and have personal stuff at both. Some people move in and move out and then move in again. Lots of variety is possible when it’s temporary.

But the mutual arrangement with the Spirit is a little different. There is an invitation to move in, but the Spirit only abides in the areas we allow. If we want to close off the closets or the storage areas, if we want to keep one room for ourselves, if we want to put up “danger, keep out” signs on any part of our inner life, we can. Spirit is the ultimate roommate and partner.

If we ask.

There are only two rules: believe in the Christ, the son of God; and, love one another (other humans). No other clean up is expected. It’s not necessary to hide anything or wash the floors even. Spirit will come in and help with everything. If we allow it. If we want change, really. If we keep up our end: love God, love others.

Intimacy is not with the human form God (Jesus). Intimacy is with Spirit.

Whose voice will I listen to today?

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Art by Daniel Gerhartz

Art by Daniel Gerhartz

Intimacy is a charged word. Just having it as the title of this blog will get me hundreds of spam comments and false hits. It has been usurped by the sex trade. And yet, it’s the essence of a true relationship, an authentic kinship, a life-changing connection. The Voice translation says it best:

But if someone responds to and obeys His word, then God’s love has truly taken root and filled him. This is how we know we are in an intimate relationship with Him . . . [I John 2:5]

Now let me add my own tweaks to this verse: But IF I respond to and obey His word [the Christ], then God’s love has truly taken root and filled me. This is how I know I am in an intimate relationship with God.

Intimacy implies detailed knowledge of one another. It’s a given that the Spirit (living within me) has detailed knowledge of me. In fact, I’m pretty sure Spirit Christ knows me better than I know myself. But is it reciprocal? Do I know God? Of course not. I can only know what I am open to know. I can only know what is revealed through God’s actions and the Christ who walked the Earth to show us what God looks like in the flesh.

Here is God: follow me. That was Jesus’s message from the beginning, to each disciple: follow. Live the paradox. Love your enemies, go the second mile, love others as you love yourself, be devoted to God. Enter intimacy.

I am not a good friend. Not really.

I protect my heart from most people. Trust is slow. Betrayal feared.

But love requires an open heart, as does intimacy. One cannot come without the other and vice versa. Otherwise, they are both conditional.

My unconscious messages: I will love you if you don’t hurt me. I will expose my true self to you if you prove you are trustworthy. I would rather you not know me.

To have intimacy with God, I must practice with Human, for that is all we really have to work with. Except for pets. They’re easy. They already have the unconditional love part down pat. I am grateful for those small learnings over the years, at the least.

Come Lord Jesus. Teach this girl again. Open my heart. Give me courage to believe that my open heart will be protected in the shadow of your wings.

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unfairHow many times have I heard my children complain about a decision of mine not being fair? No matter that last year or month or week, a similar decision probably benefited the complainer, but it’s all about the moment and it’s all about them. It’s unfair today. I can even remember counting Christmas presents when they were little to be sure the numbers came out even (I created my own monster). To what end? But am I any different when it comes to the things of God?

The older brother got really angry and refused to come inside, so his father came out and pleaded with him to join the celebration. But he argued back, “Listen, all these years I’ve worked hard for you. I’ve never disobeyed one of your orders. But how many times have you even given me a little goat to roast for a party with my friends? Not once! This is not fair!  [Luke 15:28-29, The Voice translation]

I am questioning God’s judgment all the time. Whenever I look around and compare myself and my situation to those around me, I am judging God’s direction. When I get frustrated with my children, my marriage, my body,  my aging, and more, I am actually saying my life could be better if only. . . !

But would it really? They say people tend to re-create their negative circumstances even when given a fresh start. Women divorce to get a better husband and find the next one equally unbearable. Running away from what is does nothing but delay the learning.

I am who I am. I have many gifts and I have many flaws. I am a follower of One God. And I have said over and over again that I trust that God to protect me and guide me. That journey will never look like anyone else’s journey.

Fairness is relative. When my children accuse me of being unfair, I want to scream! Everything I do for them and with them, is for their good, for love, for a future. Circumstances will never appear particularly fair. One day, they will learn that lesson too.

God forgive me for my own childish tantrums.

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Photo by IrmBrown

Photo by IrmBrown

God is Spirit and Light and Energy and Good and more. So, how are we to imitate that kind of existence? No one can see God, nor really, feel God or smell God or taste God and despite all the talk, we don’t really hear God either, not literally. Just like we cannot see Light, we see its reflection; so we experience God.

So imitate God. Follow Him like adored children,and live in love as the Anointed One loved you—so much that He gave Himself as a fragrant sacrifice, pleasing God. [Ephesians 5:1-2, The Voice translation]

Over the centuries of the revelation of the One God, there came a moment in time when Christ [Messiah] appeared,  transmuted as a human for our sakes. Besides the need to reconcile human beings to the original covenant, this block of time was an opportunity to have many three-dimensional adventures. But, like everything else in “time,” this was a brief interlude. Now, all we have are Story and Spirit with which to interact, to learn what it means to mirror God and reflect God to the world around us.

The Bible, a compendium of poetry, history, letters, reflections, worship, and imagery, is that Story.  Scriptures talk about the 3-D stuff, the behaviors and thoughts that can help us experience what it means to walk in God, permeated by the Holy Spirit.

To “live in love” is the bottom line of imitating God. And anything else, is a betrayal. It is Judas we become if we know God within, but behave differently.

How can I change? How can I be this reflection successfully? I want to but I grow weary and unsure of myself. I hesitate. I don’t go “all in.” I am not alone, I know. And so, Paul reiterates the call to imitate God and Christ, by imitating him [I Corinthians 11:1]. Paul is not available to me either, but there are other Godly ones among us, even today. When I need a 3-D connection, then I look to that person today whose likeness mimics a soul on fire, a spirit in union with Jesus, a heart beating for God.

 

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busy busy busyMy mind has been churning all morning as I contemplate the reading for today (Luke 18:10-14). Although I understand the overt message of the illustration between the Pharisee and the Tax Collector praying in the Temple, I also find myself resisting an all out dip into “worm” theology. Part of my problem is that I have slid into “self-condemnation” over the years and it can be quite debilitating. Where is the balance between self worth or self-esteem and humility?

Now imagine these two men walking back down the road to their homes. Listen, it’s the tax collector who walks home clean before God, and not the Pharisee, because whoever lifts himself up will be put down and whoever takes a humble place will be lifted up. [Luke 18:14, The Voice]

It’s a matter of perspective. It’s a matter of source: where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. [Psalm 121:1]

If I can reach the point where my inner self is truly united and led by Spirit, then this quandary would be moot. I am the “human doing” in my family and in my community. I am always on the go and there are projects to be tackled everywhere. Although I have survived my period of perfectionism, I can still be quite manic about a job well done. I am interested in everything. On Saturday, I attended our library’s volunteer celebration to thank the many who come to our library to give of their time and energy. On the way there, one of my volunteers talked about her basket guild and I thought, wouldn’t that be great? I could learn how to weave baskets. At the event, the speaker was a Master Gardener and I thought, wouldn’t that be great? I could have a vegetable garden in my back yard or a container garden on my deck. On our way home, another volunteer talked about cooking. Wouldn’t that be great? I could learn about gourmet cooking. I could write a book. I could paint my bathroom. I could re-organize my closet. I could put my dog into obedience school. I could take a photograph every day of the sunrise on the water. I could. . . I could . . . pant, pant, pant.

Look what I’m doing Lord! Look at me being busy!!!

But what would God have me do?

If God is in the doing, then it’s all about God anyway. And not about me.

Take a breath.

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