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Posts Tagged ‘love’

O, My Uncircumcised Heart

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 7:51
You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit!

It’s such a temptation to use a public forum like this to pontificate about the condition of the church or the condition of all the “others” who are not in God’s will or plan. But today I realize again how important it is for me to show my own heart. Oh sorrow, it is buried again beneath the layers of self-deception.

The heart is tricky because it regrows layers even after it’s been circumcised. These regrown layers may start out very thin and almost indiscernible at first, but eventually, layer upon layer forms and the heart is back to where it was before the Holy Spirit touched it. As the layers accumulate, the hardness begins to set in and although the mind and body can go through the motions of worship and service, the heart is no longer involved.

Some of the symptoms: a cavalier attitude toward corporate worship, missing times with God, a quick temper, a judgmental cattiness, overwhelming tiredness, forgetfulness, looking for change for the sake of change, putting others under the microscope, dropping responsibilities, indulging the body, resisting the Holy Spirit, just to name a few.

I don’t think I’m at the totally hardened stage yet … obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing today.

Psalm 51:17 says, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” It’s really quite simple, acknowledge what is happening and be chastened by the truth of it. It goes right along with repent. It goes right along with choice.

God does not come in with a sledge hammer or a fancy butcher knife to do heart work. Instead, like a child who runs to a parent and shows the injury, God brings comfort and then gently removes the harmful effects. God cleans the layers of dirt and grime and if necessary, the scab that his holding in infection. God uses truth with love.

I don’t like being vulnerable. I don’t like placing myself in places where I might get hurt. I hide my fears with layers of humor and bravado and chameleon-esque behaviors. In this way, I can keep people out of the tender places, I can control the connections. I know how to hide.

Oh, “refiner’s fire,” come and burn away the dross. Give me courage to be transparent and authentic. Give me courage to accept my tender places.

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Jealousy: A Drag on Momentum

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 5:17
Then the high priest and all his associates, who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy.

There’s nothing like momentum or success to bring out jealousy. If only I could say I know this by observation and persecution. Instead, I know jealousy personally–shameful, but true.

Jealousy starts out with envy. It starts out rather innocently perhaps, “oh look what they bought, have, can do” and “gee, I wish I could afford that, get that or do what they can do.” There is a longing that settles in, depending on the amount of energy given to it. And out of the longing, an obsession with others’ gains, and eventually, resentment finds a foothold and builds exponentially.

It’s bad enough that envy and jealousy are fed on a personal level: house, car, job, friends, wealth, clothes, youth, body, athletic abilities, artistic abilities, mastery, etc. But it becomes really sordid when it’s on an organization level, or worse, on a national or international level.

There are church pastors and church goers who become envious of other churches, either their attendance, their notoriety, their leadership, or even their music. There is something dreadfully wrong with this picture.

Isn’t that just the foot being envious of the hand… of course the hand can do more… it was designed that way. But where is the commitment to what the foot can do?

And so, the foot keeps dragging on the hand: “not so fast,” “that’s not how we’ve done it in the past,” “we can’t do it that way,” “we’ve never seen that before,” “who gave you the authority to do all that ‘hand’ stuff?” Sometimes, the “foot” worries that all that attention to the “hand” will suck up all the resources.

But is that how God works? Nope.

The more we give, the more we receive. We cannot outgive God… that goes for money, energy, ideas, activity, healing, blessings and even, success.

Today I ask forgiveness for my jealous and envious heart. Today, I am going to be the best foot I can be. Today, I will speak blessings to the momentum of others. Today, I stop holding others back. Today, I set the captive free. Today I become a a true cheerleader for others.

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One in Heart and Mind

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2009| 1 Comment »

Act 4:32
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

This line makes a lot of people uncomfortable. They go to a lot of trouble to explain it away (that was then, this is now). Others go off and start communes and do their best to live in community. In some cases, these communities are successful, but most are not. There has been a resurgence of interest in communal living through the growth of the emergent movement and the next generation of believers.

In any event, it is clear that in New Testament time, that time after Jesus’ resurrection, living and sharing and being of one heart and mind was the norm. This is what people wanted to do. I don’t believe it was mandated, it just happened. It evolved from that moment in their lives. The message of the time was simple: Jesus Christ, the son of God, died on the cross and was raised up. They expected him to return soon as well.

But, in the same way that Jesus was not the Messiah everyone expected, he didn’t return within anyone’s timeline either. At this point in the story, there were upwards to 5,000 believers. What did that look like? How did they really operate in one heart and mind? How did they really live “in community?”

Being in one heart and mind is not easy. There must be trust, sacrifice, compromise, flexibility, cooperation, and love. There must be a rallying point… something everyone can agree upon.

I think it’s our first priority in any relationship: find the parallel. Look for the sphere of agreement, the commonality before addressing any of the differences. With every relationship, there will always be at least one congruence. Let’s start there.

Shakespeare’s Shylock said it most ably:

I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die?

Perhaps the person is saying: I am a Muslim. I am an African. I am poor. I am gay. I am physically challenged. I am old. I am alone.

Today, I seek oneness in heart and mind.

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Courage to Speak

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2009| 1 Comment »

Acts 4:13
When they [Sanhedrin] saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

There are many types of courage and there are many ways to gain courage. Just because one has courage does not mean one does not have fear or uncertainties. Courage is moving through uncertainty, moving on despite the fear. Courage is believing that something else is more important than self-preservation.

Courage comes easier with practice. This is one reason group wilderness experiences, ropes courses, and other challenge building exercises have become so popular. They build an individual’s tolerance for fear and a history of success in the face of fear.

Of course, what requires courage for one person is not the same for another. I enjoy speaking in front of a group unlike many of my friends and colleagues. I can probably say that much of that “courage” comes from my theater background. But, there is also a confidence that comes with a group setting because I rarely have a sense of disapproval from a group. However, put me in a one on one situation where I can read a person’s body language, their expressions, and can observe their dismay or disagreement, I freeze up. It takes great courage for me to say something to an individual that I suspect will cause disagreement or anger or disappointment.

Basically, I want people to like me. Don’t we all? And so often, I have chosen silence in the name of keeping the peace or maintaining a friendly connection. But, in the end, this is giving people a false impression. It’s a lie.

It is my hope that I may grow in courage to be more transparent and authentic… to speak my heart, to speak from love, but honestly… to speak of my faith and why I follow the Christ. That’s all. One does not have to be “schooled” in theology to talk about the power of change and faith.

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Act of Kindness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on October 2, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 4:9a
“…we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed,…” [Peter]

I love this! Peter and John had just brokered a complete healing of a guy who was crippled from birth through faith and the name of Jesus. And how does he reference this miracle: an act of kindness!

It’s a moment of empathy and a desire to make things better. An act of kindness begins within one’s own heart and mind. But we have to “see” the need before we can act, kindly or otherwise.

Many years ago (back in 1993), the pop culture phenomenon spread faster than a virus: random acts of kindness. The simplicity of it made it easy to remember and even accomplish. People everywhere were stepping up to both small and large expressions of kindness. Everyone seemed to know, inherently, what kindness might look like.

The best part of it is the personal nature of those random acts. An act is particularly kind if it comes from a person’s heart. My daughter can ruin an act of kindness in one quick stroke. How? When she demands one of me: “Bring me a surprise from Chicago when you go,” or “Buy me this or that for my birthday,” or “Give me a surprise party.” An act of kindness cannot be demanded (or even suggested for that matter). It becomes something else. When I ask my kids to clean their rooms and they do it (on occasion), that’s not kindness, that’s just cooperation or obedience.

The healing of the crippled man by Peter and John was their first big act of kindness post-resurrection. Jesus didn’t tell them what to do, when to do it, or where. This act came from within. They just knew it was the right moment.

I think it’s time to resurrect conscious acts of kindness, meet a need, broker a healing, show love.

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Really Looking

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 3:3-4
When he [the crippled beggar] saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!”

Eye contact. It’s a lost art. But really, it’s one of the most important connections.

When I was in acting school and took stage combat, it was the first thing we learned. One cannot engage in combat without looking, really looking, in the eyes of the opponent. In stage combat, it’s a team effort. The one striking and the one being struck must see each other and agree on the moment.

Last night, at a rehearsal, my stage partner was supposed to give me a kiss. He missed my lips and it landed on my chin… basically because I didn’t look at him, nor he at me. We were not in sync.

I think the great healing that Peter did at the Gate Beautiful outside the temple courts was similar. The cripple was in a begging habit, calling out, asking for help, but without looking at the actual people going in or coming out. He was throwing out his need like buckshot and hoping his plea would somehow land on the heart of someone.

But healings are specific. Peter demanded the man really look at him. I believe the healing happened in that moment. The “get up and walk part” was after the fact. When they really looked at each other, the crippled man’s authentic need was passed to Peter and in exchange, Peter released the power of the Holy Spirit.

Healing love, concern, hope, trust, assurance, and confidence are among the many things that are passed through the eyes. Not that there isn’t power in other connections (like touch), but the eyes are a unique window to the soul.

Today, open my eyes to see Jesus. Today, open my eyes to see need. Today, open my eyes to give of the Spirit.

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Pick Your Last Days

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 2:14, 16b-17
Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say…. this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel [2:28-29]: ‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams….”

When, exactly, are the Last Days? Good luck with that. Theologians and other Christian writers have written volumes about this phenomenon while the Pentecostals and Charismatics have been waving the Last Days banner since the turn of the 19th century. People have been talking about the Last Days for a long time. Is it possible that we’re still in the Last Days? Have the last 2000 years been the Last Days?

In his post-Holy Spirit filling in Acts 2, Peter certainly implied that the Last Days were beginning that day. He saw the outpouring of power and the speaking in tongues (other languages) that day as a sure sign of Joel’s prophecy being fulfilled.

Here are the choices I see: either we are still in the Last Days… or the Last Days haven’t really started yet… or we’re on the other side of the Last Days. Pick your camp!

I think the disciples and newly committed Christ followers in Peter’s time, believed the Last Days were right then and that it was indeed … a matter of days or weeks, at best, before Christ would return and the world would end as they knew it. They lived and died as martyrs because of their commitment to this idea. They lived fully and without compromise.

But, in the same way that Nineveh was spared when Jonah finally did what he was supposed to do, e.g. warn Nineveh’s residents of coming destruction if they didn’t change… so has the world has been spared… for now. We are still here.

But are we paying attention to the Joels and Jonahs of our own age? Are we reading the signs of warning? Are we taking seriously that we may be on borrowed time?

There are still men and women today prophesying… seeing visions… and dreaming dreams. Their words speak of spiritual deserts, economic chaos, environmental collapse, human suffering at the hands of evil, starvation and traumatic illness.

Not everyone can be a prophet or a watchman on the wall, but we can be listeners. We can change our own small world. We can love our neighbor and love our environment. We can pray for change. We can pray for healing.

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