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Posts Tagged ‘love’

He’s Really Coming Back?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on September 22, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 1:11
Men of Galilee,” they [men in white] said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.”

When I was in high school I had to take a city bus to school, which was about 2.5 miles from my home. Each morning I would walk about 5 blocks to the bus stop and wait for a bus. I remember a mission church there at the corner that had a marquis (which in mind was the weirdest thing ever) and on it, in bold letters, was written: “Jesus is Coming Soon!”

I wasn’t much of a Christian back then. I attended a Latvian church with my family, but it was all ritual and hypocrites as far as I was concerned. But one thing I was pretty sure of, Jesus had already come and these folks were sorely deluded.

I never got this “coming back” message. There just wasn’t that much emphasis on the idea and certainly, people weren’t living their lives as though they really believed Jesus would return. Of course, it didn’t help that my mother was getting caught up in all kinds weirdness back then and started reading all the Erich Von Daniken books (she was pretty sure Jesus was an alien and would come back in a starship).

It’s been over 2,000 years… is he really coming back? But that is the promise. According to scripture, his coming back is at the end of this age. Well meaning people have been predicting his return ever since he left. In modern times, it was during the second World War (Hitler being the anti-Christ), then later, the turn of the century (Y2K), or now things are really heating up with the 2012 phenomenon. Is one date any more reliable than another?

But the actual coming, no matter how dramatic or not, is a little late in the process. Once he does return, whether today, tomorrow or in the next turn of the century, the real issue will be what we have done with the time. [Matthew 25]

People don’t really feel an urgency of life until they (or their loved ones) are truly facing illness and death. Then, it’s clear: time is precious, life is to be lived, and people are to be loved fully.

We adults accuse teenagers of having their heads in the sand about the future, but are we much better? We don’t really believe it will happen to us. We don’t really believe that turning point could happen today.

What would I do differently today if I believed it was my last day? Carpe Diem.

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Power in the Waiting

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 1:4-5
On one occasion, while he [Jesus] was eating with them, he gave them this command: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”

Waiting is not the easiest thing to do. In fact, I think it’s one of the hardest. In this case, I doubt the disciples had any clue what it would mean to be “baptized with the Holy Spirit.” But they understood waiting and they understood this command to wait would test their trust and their faith. I always wonder if they all waited or did some fall away?

People usually use a period of waiting to fantasize about the end results (and generally, the result they themselves want). They begin imagining what the end of waiting will be like without living fully within the waiting period itself. I have come to believe that waiting is an active time. Waiting is a time of introspection and evaluation. Waiting itself is productive within.

Looking back over my life, I can see how many mistakes could have been avoided just by exercising a little waiting. But I have always been in a such a hurry for the next experience. As I grow older, I have been getting a little better at waiting, just because I have been forced to practice. And slowly, I see its merits and enter this time more willingly.

There is a popular phrase used by many Christians: “I am waiting on God…” Sometimes, it feels like they are in an outer office waiting for an appointment with a busy God who’ll fit them in when possible. They are passing the time, reading magazines, watching TV, or listening to their ipods. There is no relationship with the One on the other side of the door. While others simply use the phrase as a way to avoid making any decision at all. If one waits long enough, a decision is usually made for you. This method is rather passive aggressive in my book.

Waiting on God has no value in my mind unless it comes with contemplative study, prayer and worship.

This is true for the individual as well as a group. But I have very little experience with group waiting. I’m still working on the first hurdle. But that’s coming. Group waiting is even more difficult because the everyone needs to let go of their personal agendas and allow the best result for the group as a whole emerge: more patience, love, sacrifice, and trust.

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Tasks for the Wealthy

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , on September 19, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 19:38-39
And after this, Joseph of Arimathea–a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews–asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus. And Pilate granted him permission. So he came and took away His body. And Nicodemus also, who first had come to Jesus by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, [weighing] about a hundred pounds.

In the end, it was the rich guys with the connections who removed Jesus from the cross, wrapped him in burial cloth, and laid him in a new tomb. This could not have been done by the poor disciples who followed Jesus daily. You see, there were disciples among the rich… they just didn’t quite “get” what they should do or how to follow.

I know the feeling of helplessness when colleagues or friends become seriously ill (or even their family members). I want to “do” something, but I’m never quite sure what I should or can do that will make a difference. So often, just being there is enough for the ill or grieving. But surely, there is something else? Some years ago a friend of ours died after a short but horrific battle with lung cancer. All of the typical things were done for the family like food and visitation and sympathy. But another friend was amazing. She offered to come in once a week to organize all of the medical bills. What a precious gift of time and knowledge.

This is what Joseph and Nicodemus did. They had failed Jesus in so many ways, but when something concrete and quite within their realm of expense and ability, they acted. And what they did made a huge difference.

Compared to the rest of the world, Americans are predominately Josephs and Nicodemus’s. We are straining to go through the “eye of the needle.” [Matthew 19:24] But there are times when we can take what we have and what we know and move the kingdom closer. Giving of our bounty, sharing our knowledge, and donating our time does have value. And until we have the courage to shed our accouterments to serve and live among the poor, we have other tasks laid before us.

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A Folded Cloth

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 20:6-7
Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen.

I have always been intrigued by the folded cloth that was set aside separately from the rest. John is the only writer who adds this small detail. When I was still performing and touring my own show (Pente, a show that depicted the 5 women in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1), I included this tidbit in Mary’s monologue at the end of the show.

There is no real way to know who folded this cloth. I can’t quite imagine that Jesus, resurrected, pulled off the linen burial clothes and then took the time to fold his head cloth. But my imagination does go to the possibility that Mary, his mother, visited the tomb even earlier than the other women or disciples. I can imagine that she discovered the missing body and in her love for her son, folded his head cloth, perhaps after taking in the aroma of him one last time. I have no proof: it’s strictly an image I have carried for a long time.

For me, the folded cloth is an acceptance of Jesus’s transformation, his resurrection. Mary had pondered long all of the prophecies and experiences. And now, she could see that all had happened as Jesus said it would. She finally knew, without a doubt, that Jesus was indeed the Messiah, who had died and risen as he had promised he would.

For me, she left the folded cloth, the former life, and stepped into her own new life. Today, I fold away the mistakes of my yesterdays and begin again. Each day is a new opportunity…. a new beginning. Thanks be to God.

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Intimidating

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 9:28a; 34a
Then they [the chief priests] hurled insults at him [the formerly blind man] and said, “You are this fellow’s disciple!” … Then they hurled insults at him and said, “You are this fellow’s disciple!…”

I confess, I love to be around people who are really smart. I am intrigued by their knowledge and enjoy learning something new each and every day. It’s one of the reasons I read so much.

But the way in which someone hurls his/her knowledge around can be intimidating. In fact, there are folks who use knowledge as a sledge hammer. Little do they know that knowledge flung about like that becomes diffused, unfocused and useless. People stop listening.

In one of the books I’m reading, “Why We Make Mistakes” by Joseph Hallinan, the author maintains that as people (particularly men) collect information, the more confident they become to the point of actually becoming over confident. And in that over confidence, they begin to make mistakes.

The chief priests were over confident. They thought they knew the whole story. They could not integrate anything new. They could not integrate the miracle. They began making unfounded accusations. They were grasping at straws.

There is usually a moment when I go from appreciation of a person’s knowledge and intelligence to total intimidation. I think that moment happens when I hear or see or sense the other person is espousing his/her views with such certainty that there is no room for other possibilities. It’s a lack of humility.

Lord, don’t let me become this kind of person. Keep my heart and mind open to the miraculous. Keep my mind and heart open to the evolution of your spirit in our world. Keep me humble.

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Cost of Betrayal

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 19:11b
“…Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.” [Jesus speaking to Pilate]

Although Jesus knew that one of his followers would betray him, the suffering was still heavy to bear. Imagine, in this scene, Jesus tells Pilate that Judas, who betrayed him, has committed a greater sin than Pilate who would be condemning Jesus to death. I believe the chief priests, who brought Jesus to Pilate, were also betrayers. They twisted the truth to achieve their own goals. As leaders of the faith, they betrayed the people.

I have experienced betrayal and I can testify to the depth of such pain. To give someone trust, to open the heart and expose it willingly to someone, and then have it crushed through betrayal is a misery like no other.

Love is a contract. Relationship is a contract. Friendship is a contract. It may not be a written one, like a marriage vow or certificate, and yet, as the onion layers of our hearts are removed in order to love more deeply, we are placing more and more trust in that contract. Contracts of this kind are strengthened by our transparency and destroyed by lies and deception.

And yet, love requires that we accept the possibility of betrayal. This is the greatest challenge of all. Once injured by betrayal, the tendency is to protect the heart from another incursion. But love is anemic without trust and vulnerability. It is not love at all.

Jesus loved Judas despite the eventual betrayal. Jesus loved all the disciples, knowing they would fail him and flee. Jesus loved Peter who denied him three times in a single night.

Our only safety in loving others is Christ. He is the healer of betrayed hearts. Without his presence within the heart, we will develop a heart of stone. It all starts innocently enough, a protective shield from the disappointments and betrayals we have experienced over the years, but eventually, if left to our own devices, the protective layer begins to soak through and our hearts are hardened. This is the highest cost of betrayal.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart…” [Psalm 51:17a] The heart of stone must be broken in order for healing to begin. [Ezekiel 36:26]

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Accused of Lying

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 19:7
“We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.”

The gospel of John is all about identity. Is Jesus who he said he was or not? This is the ultimate question.

The priests who brought Jesus before Pilate were very clear about his claims. They accused him of intentionally misleading people. They accused him of breaking the law, the law given to them from God through Moses and the prophets. They called him a liar.

There are really very few choices when confronting the identity of Jesus: either he is who he says he is, he’s stark raving mad, or he’s lying.

In today’s world, we don’t have anything similar. If a regular “Joe” was to claim he was God or just claim he was the President, all would assume he was crazy as a bedbug. Even if we determined the person was a consummate liar, his mental stability would be suspect. We don’t ever entertain the idea that he might be the “real deal.”

The priests were no different. There was simply no way that Jesus (of Nazareth) could be telling the truth, it had to be trick. From their perspective, the guy was a sinister, manipulative, liar who had duped the people by healing them, eating with them, feeding them, and teaching them about the kingdom of God being available to them… right from where they were. He was way outside their comfort zone. That couldn’t be God.

And isn’t that what many way today?

When I became a follower of Christ, I made it quite clear that I didn’t want to be a “Christian.” I had no good memories or experiences with the people who claimed to be his disciples. But I did see and believe in the One. And this is where my journey began, with my eyes on Christ alone. I trusted the rest would fall into place along the way. There were tons of things I couldn’t understand or agree with in scripture, but I could not call this Jesus a liar.

When I prayed that first prayer, there was no one leading the way. I simply asked Jesus if I could follow him and become more like him. I confessed. I believed he was who he said he was. That’s all. Because I knew, if that was true, then there was more truth to be uncovered. This is the way of Jesus… from truth to truth, from understanding to understanding.

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