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Posts Tagged ‘sacred other’

How I Look at Others

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 30, 2010| Leave a Comment »

What criteria do I use when I look at other people? I’m sure it’s still that “worldly view.” I’m assessing weight, demeanor, stride, clothing, work, and even neighborhood. Am I looking for the “new creation?” I don’t think so.

II Corinthians 5:16a, 17
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. . . Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

For years, this “new creation” verse has been used to give hope to the believer that he/she has been changed by faith in Christ. We are no longer bound to our old ways, we are transformed. That is true.

But here’s what I never understood before. As the observer, I am supposed to look with new eyes on others. I am charged to look for their new creation. I am to let go of my old way, my “worldly way” of scrutinizing people around me, and affirm their metamorphosis.

So often as people work on themselves, work to change old habits, it’s often the friends and acquaintances around them who sabotage their efforts. Someone goes on a diet and we bring in donuts for the break room. Someone stops drinking alcohol and we offer “just one.” Even in our households, a family member looks to begin a new routine of prayer or walking or study, but there are constant interruptions, the process discounted as authentic or necessary.

Have I sabotaged those around me trying to change? Have I kept looking for grey when they started wearing red?

God forgive me. I am so focused on my own issues, I forget to endorse the efforts of others. I say I am an agent for change but I am insensitive to the small adjustments, the baby steps that others are taking first.

Heighten my mindfulness this day.

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I Believe–I Write

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 24, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I know I can be a bull in a china shop with my voice. Sometimes I don’t think things through before I say them. In fact, I’m known for speaking just to hear what I’m thinking! It’s not always well-formed. It’s one of the reasons I blog. . .

II Corinthians 4:13
Yet we have the same spirit of faith as he had who wrote, I have believed, and therefore have I spoken [Psalm 116:10]. We too believe, and therefore we speak, . . . [Amplified]

Writing slows me down (a little) and it gives me a chance to contemplate more thoroughly the verses for the day. It gives me a chance to look for truths in the Word for me. Writing helps me articulate my faith more clearly and ask deeper questions of myself and others.

My faith has grown in many directions, not just wider and longer but deeper. And with that growth has come challenges and changes.

I find myself embracing the simplicity of the message: Love God, Love others. There is much more wiggle room than there used to be. There are gray areas after all. There is acceptance of the mystery and the paradox. There is a willingness to say, “I don’t know.” There is more tolerance for other lifestyles and mistakes. There is greater hope in the ultimate power of God.

Our world is very complex. It’s not the same world of the disciples. It’s much more expansive. We are aware of the tiniest changes across continents and space. We can know and communicate with thousands and millions of people in an instant. We hear of good and evil proliferating around the earth and beyond. Sin and disease abound. Fear builds exponentially. Death is proud.

And yet, it’s still the same message that will stand the test of time: Love God, Love others.

This is what I believe. This is what I am doing here.

My writing comes out of my faith. God is sovereign. Christ is real. And what I am living and learning along the way may help someone else discover the kingdom within.

After all these years, my personal mission still resonates for me: To inspire meaningful change, to build faith in God and to connect people with resources that make a difference in their lives.

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A Most Excellent Way

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on June 12, 2010| 2 Comments »

It’s the “hippy” chapter: love, love, love. And yet, with all this talk of love being the most excellent way, greater than anything else, greater than faith or knowledge, it’s still missing in most of our lives.

I Corinthians 12:31b, 13:2b
And now I will show you the most excellent way . . . if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

A friend gave me Mother Teresa’s book, “In My Own Words,” which has a heavy emphasis on the love theme. Mother Teresa got it. She lived it. She taught it. And most people admired her for it but couldn’t live like her; they were amazed by her selflessness and her ability to reach out to the poorest of the poor, to actually love the unlovable. But isn’t that what Christ asks from each of us?

What would it take to become a person of love. . . to be known primarily for love?

I am still a product of my culture and my generation. We started the “me” generation and we’ve passed it to our kids. We don’t love because that exercise requires greater concern for the “other” than for self. That’s really the only hindrance.

I’d like to make this more complicated than it is and come up with all kinds of valid justifications for not loving, but there aren’t any, not really.

I get in the way. I am my own stumbling block.

My proposal for myself today: Just ask, “Is this loving? Am I speaking out of love? Am I responding to the “sacred center” of the other? Can I be generous in love?”

I want to be more conscious today. I want to be mindful. My habits, those automatic reactions, are not loving. To change, I must wake up. Look. Really look and sense. Ah! It’s prayer.

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No Seceding From the Body

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , on June 7, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Some people move from one church to another. Other people stay in the same church all of their lives. Sometimes people leave in a huff because the piano is moved from one side of the sanctuary to another. Sometimes, it’s just time for change. But aren’t we still in the same Body?

I Corinthians 12:14-15
For the body does not consist of one limb or organ but of many. If the foot should say, Because I am not the hand, I do not belong to the body, would it be therefore not [a part] of the body? [Amplified]

I have experienced splits in churches where one half of the congregation follows one leader and the other half follows another leader. I have seen denominational leaders “invite” the parishioners to leave a church because of worship practices and disagreements. I have seen ministers brought down, music directors and youth leaders cast out for mistakes. I have seen gossiping, backbiting, and lies told in the name of “being right.”

And yet, aren’t we all needed in the Body of Christ? Isn’t a good portion of this type of in-fighting happen when the “eyes” of the Body are trying to get the feet to act like them?

Once a person enters the Body of Christ through an expression of faith and testimony, then that person is part of the Body . . . period. Our job is not to “mold” the body parts to become like us. Our job is to work together and to celebrate individual giftings, to find “place” for each person.

This all goes back to the recognition of the “sacred other.” If we look for the heart, then all are the same.

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Anything Goes

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2010| Leave a Comment »

This is a freedom I don’t practice as much as I should. It’s so easy to get caught up in tracking all the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” in our lives. What is it we fear so much? Why have we lost our confidence in grace?

I Corinthians 10:23-24
Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well. [The Message Bible]

My daughter was working with some dear counselor friends of mine the other day and in the course of their time together, she said she was planning to get a tattoo. Now, I am not a fan of tattoos at all. Five or six years ago, I told my three teens, “If any one of you goes out and gets a tattoo, I will cut it out with a spoon.” Yah, I’d say I had a bit of an attitude. But, over the years, it’s become evident that cultural acceptability of this practice is going to outweigh my threats and I can either fight it and watch them sneak into a tattoo parlor some weekend in Ocean City or I can speak lovingly, reasonably and simply abd ask them to plan it: plan it well, and to be sure it’s what they want. So far, no one has added one yet.

But that’s not really my point. Those friends ended up pulling out scriptures and telling her that getting a tattoo is a sin (I assume this is based on Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves…” and other similar Old Testament passages). But, aren’t we missing the phrase, “for the dead” in this passage. The cuttings and tattoos referenced here are cultural and clearly ritualistic. Most kids and young people are not participating in a satanic ritual any more than they are by going from house to house on Halloween saying, “trick or treat.”

This reminds me of other “do nots” that have been conveyed to me in the name of sin, such as practicing yoga or visualization. Can these things be abused? Of course, but then, so can practices in the name of Christ, such as “miracles” of gold dust floating off the hands of a “healer.”

What is essential here then? Motive and intent. Christ brought freedom and that freedom “completed” the law [Romans 8:1-2].

Needless to say, we must remember, if participating in an activity gives pain and anxiety to those around us, it’s probably best not to do it, for their sakes and out of our love for them, the other (the sacred other). We can’t always know that, though, and we can’t go through our lives second guessing these things. But when we do know, when a child chooses NOT to act in a particular way out of respect and love for parents, that is a good thing. And I’m sure there are other examples of these choices.

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Holy Adaptation

Posted in Feast Days and Holy Days, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 23, 2010| 2 Comments »

Since I struggle with chameleon tendencies, I have been uncomfortable with Paul’s assertion to “become all things to all men” to win them to the faith. But then I realized: non-judgmentalism comes with adaptation. And that’s the crux of it all.

I Corinthians 9:22b
I have [in short] become all things to all men, that I might by all means (at all costs and in any and every way) save some [by winning them to faith in Jesus Christ] [Amplified]

Paul consciously chose to adapt to the people around him; he was not pretending to be someone else to be liked. He chose to “be” with people fully. Jesus did the same thing. He spoke to be understood. He genuinely listened. He was present in the moment.

Adapting does not necessarily mean imitating. It’s not necessary to speak crassly to be around people who do. Nor does it mean I must smoke, use drugs, or drink because they do. But, it does mean I can’t condemn them for their way of speech or habits. It is accepting them where they are right now that makes the whole difference.

I am personally sensitive to cursory attention. When I am out of my own comfort zone, around wealthier people or people with greater authority or power, I am aware of my non-status in some of their eyes and demeanor. And I yet, I think I do the same thing to others who don’t measure up to my own internally set standards. God forbid.

People don’t want my pity, my sympathy, or my indulgence. All of these come with an assumption that I have it better than they do, either by luck or perseverance. And yet, does that make me better?

It goes back to the “sacred other.” It goes back to the heart of humanity. Instead of identifying differences, I want to be seeking for similarities.

As babies, we were all seeking the same thing: safety. And that safety was demonstrated to us by a primary caregiver. If we didn’t get that then, we are still looking for it as children, teens, or adults.

Am I a place of safety for others? Can I become one? Isn’t this part of my mission as a believer? To manifest acceptance and safety: “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” [Psalm 32:7] “My [Jesus’s] prayer is not that you [God] take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” [John 17:15]

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I love: I abstain

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I’m not doing too well with this idea of abstaining from something . . . anything . . . just because it’s a problem for someone else. And yet, if I hold true to the concept of the “sacred other,” can I choose to do anything else?

I Corinthians 8:13
Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

Sometimes, these choices are a cakewalk. Obviously, if I have friends who struggle with alcoholism, I would not guzzle around them. That’s insensitive. But then, the cost to me for not drinking in their presence is minimal. But what about other things? What about movies or books that cause my conservative friends to stumble? What about eating meat around my vegetarian/vegan friends? What about wearing dresses instead of pants around traditional Mennonites or Amish?

There are such fine lines between being true to oneself, being a chameleon for the sake of fitting in, and choosing to abstain out of concern for the other.

I believe my previous “unconsciousness” in these choices were the ultimate problem. I might abstain but I did not do it out of love, but with resentment and even negative judgments.

It’s a type of reluctant obedience that is no better than just going ahead and doing it.

And yet, Jesus stretched a lot of observers to places they did not want to go. He ate without ritual washing, he allowed sinners to touch him, he healed and touched contagious disease. He broke Jewish laws with knowledge but also with kindness.

It all comes back to love and motive. Abstaining for the sake of another should be conscious and intentional. And probably, that act should be accompanied by conversation.

Keep me mindful today Lord.

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