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Posts Tagged ‘trust’

Thoughts of my Heart

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 9:22
“…Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.” [Peter to Simon, the Sorcerer]

What is going on in the deepest places? I usually think of thoughts as emanating from the mind, but here is a phrase that sends me to an underground level: the thoughts of my heart.

These are the truly secret places, the closed places that are only exposed in times of trial or transparency. These are places that I have kept away from others. These are thoughts I might be ashamed to expose.

Psalm 44:21 says God knows the secrets of the heart. So, why do I bother trying to hide?

Keep me authentic today, Lord. Keep my heart open and let me not fear the opinions of others.

I know there have been times when I have tried to allow my secret self to show, but I am a fairly keen observer of people and when I see someone’s body language recoil from my small truths, I wrap my heart back up again. It takes courage to leave the heart open. It takes courage to reveal the thoughts of the heart.

I think the first revealing must start in private time with God. Unveil there since God already knows, after all. It’s safe. It’s a practice test. It’s a place of healing; here the thoughts can be tenderly trimmed like a small Bonzai; here will be some pain, but the end is far more beautiful. With that exposure can come my own acceptance of who I am… what I really think… what I believe. And then, only then, the courage will come to show my “self” to you and you and you.

What do you see or hear from the thoughts of my heart?

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Even Simon the Sorcerer

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 8:9-10a, 13a
Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great … Simon himself believed and was baptized [by Philip].

I believe there is power and magic outside the faithful in God, otherwise, why would it be included in scripture so casually? Simon did not just practice “magic tricks” but true sorcery. And yet, this very man, Simon, who already had a great following and could manipulate his environment with personal power, recognized truth in Philip’s message. He recognized power greater than his own.

I think Simon also recognized intent.

The apostles, now leaders in espousing the story of the Christ, the long-awaited Messiah, had one goal: tell … and show… the power of Jesus. They lived Jesus through their love and actions.

Actions that manifest from trust are easy to do. And confidence in those actions comes from security in the knowledge of the source of power. (…Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” Luke 8:46)

Simon had one up on me. Simon knew that miracles could happen every day. Simon knew the world around him was malleable. Simon knew people could be healed, situations transformed, and power tapped. Simon knew all of these things … he knew without doubt.

But still, after 30 years of faith, my doubt corrodes my courage.

It all goes back to intent. Why are we counted among the faithful to labor on His behalf?

Back then, everyone knew there was to be a savior … a messiah. The apostles’ primary message addressed it: the Messiah has come. The kingdom of God has touched the human race through this savior. We can be different.

But does our culture wait for a savior? No. If anything, we are waiting for a judge.

The message of Christ is not just about “eternal salvation.” It’s about change… changing ourselves… changing our world. Touching, healing, loving, speaking, and believing in the power of the Messiah, in the kingdom of God within and without.

“I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” [John 14:12]

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Asking God to Forgive

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 7:59-60a
While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

Interesting that Stephen does not say, “I forgive them,” but asked, as Jesus did, that the Lord God forgive them. There is a fine line difference and it’s worth noting, I think.

I’m guessing Stephen never held anything against them in the first place. From the get-go, he was able to keep their “issues” separate from his own. But to pray to God and ask Him to forgive one’s adversaries is proof of a higher concern: that their actions would not block them from eternal things.

Hmm. I’m a long way from this place, this higher level of forgiveness. I’m still struggling with the one on one type. Maybe I should try this God forgiveness first. Would looking at the difficult relationships in my life through the eternal eyes of God give me new personal perspective? Perhaps the little irritations would be less irritating. Perhaps the memories would be less vivid. Perhaps the patterns would finally break.

Have I secretly hoped that God would take on my banner of revenge? Romans 12:19 does say that God will avenge. Have I been playing a game of extending personal forgiveness while hoping all the while that my magnanimity would heap burning coals on the heads of my “enemies?”

Oh, secret heart, look what peeling away some layers has revealed. Forgive me… and yes, forgive them… the list is long, but you know them all… my friends, my colleagues, my staff, my neighbors, my family, my customers, my classmates, my church, my students, my politicians, my leaders, my relatives, my strangers… who am I to say that my feelings, my pain, my fears, and my disappointments must be avenged? Who am I to say?

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Things of God Remain

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 9, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 5:38-39
“Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men [the apostles] alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.” [Gamaliel speaking]

There are really two messages here. One is for the believers, to trust that projects and plans, if truly within the will and anointing of our God, will remain. They will survive and even thrive. But if not, then it’s important to let go. There are plenty of good things to do. There are plenty of ideas. Move on.

Years ago, I had developed two shows that I toured to churches and para-church organizations. They were a labor of love but somehow, not of the right time. In that era, churches were not set up well for theatrical performances. Both of my pieces had to be adapted constantly in order to make them work in a traditional sanctuary setting. Just the idea of having theater lights was foreign to most church goers or to ask that everything be stripped from the altar area. Those who saw the shows, were moved by them, but it was an uphill battle to find churches willing to open their doors. In today’s more modern settings, my shows would have fit in perfectly. It was simply not the right fit and in the end, I retired them.

When I let go, it was hard. I felt I had failed and totally missed God. But, now, in hindsight, I think they achieved what they were meant to achieve. I learned so much from that process and my immersion in the scriptures during the research and preparation time has served me continually.

The second message of this story about Gamaliel and the Sanhedrin is critical for everyone. An anointed person or group cannot be stopped by “human” pressures or verbal attacks. An authentic faith and presence of God in a life is a bulwark and will prevail. Faith of this magnitude sustained people like Mother Teresa among India’s poor, Elie Wiesel in the concentration camps, Hudson Taylor in China, David Livingstone in Africa, and Martin Luther King, Jr. and Billy Graham in the U.S., to name a few.

But this is also true for well-meaning Christians who try to silence the voices of others in the name of “protecting” the faith. The Sanhedrin also felt they were protecting Israel from heresy.

Currently, there is a movement rising up called Emergent Worship and post-modern thought … some are flaying against these trends. Most of the people who are involved with these movements are under the age of 45… they are of a generation that needs and wants to ask questions, to have their faith be an intrinsic part of their culture and their lives. Personally, I think it’s a good thing. This same kind of ground swell happened when the charismatics and Pentecostals started up 20 and 30 years ago in the face of great consternation. And yet, those movements have been integrated into many churches and church traditions.

My message is simple: be wise and remember Gamaliel’s advice: “…if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

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Jealousy: A Drag on Momentum

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 5:17
Then the high priest and all his associates, who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy.

There’s nothing like momentum or success to bring out jealousy. If only I could say I know this by observation and persecution. Instead, I know jealousy personally–shameful, but true.

Jealousy starts out with envy. It starts out rather innocently perhaps, “oh look what they bought, have, can do” and “gee, I wish I could afford that, get that or do what they can do.” There is a longing that settles in, depending on the amount of energy given to it. And out of the longing, an obsession with others’ gains, and eventually, resentment finds a foothold and builds exponentially.

It’s bad enough that envy and jealousy are fed on a personal level: house, car, job, friends, wealth, clothes, youth, body, athletic abilities, artistic abilities, mastery, etc. But it becomes really sordid when it’s on an organization level, or worse, on a national or international level.

There are church pastors and church goers who become envious of other churches, either their attendance, their notoriety, their leadership, or even their music. There is something dreadfully wrong with this picture.

Isn’t that just the foot being envious of the hand… of course the hand can do more… it was designed that way. But where is the commitment to what the foot can do?

And so, the foot keeps dragging on the hand: “not so fast,” “that’s not how we’ve done it in the past,” “we can’t do it that way,” “we’ve never seen that before,” “who gave you the authority to do all that ‘hand’ stuff?” Sometimes, the “foot” worries that all that attention to the “hand” will suck up all the resources.

But is that how God works? Nope.

The more we give, the more we receive. We cannot outgive God… that goes for money, energy, ideas, activity, healing, blessings and even, success.

Today I ask forgiveness for my jealous and envious heart. Today, I am going to be the best foot I can be. Today, I will speak blessings to the momentum of others. Today, I stop holding others back. Today, I set the captive free. Today I become a a true cheerleader for others.

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Lying to the Holy Spirit

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 5:3a
Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit…”

Whoa! Ananias is not the only one who is doing this. Oh forgiving God, be merciful to me.

These are the dangerous internal lies, the lies to myself. These are the lies that no one may ever know I have said or thought. These are the traps within that prevent me from having an unfettered relationship with God.

Give or don’t give, but don’t pretend to give.

In my mind, Ananias and Sapphira held back some of the money and laid the rest at the Apostles’ feet for several reasons: to appear totally committed to the gathered believers, to copy Barnabas, and to protect their personal interests. In the end, it was a lack of trust.

Forgive me for holding back a tithe for fear of not having enough to pay bills… forgive me saying I will help someone and then not show up… forgive me for saying I will pray for someone and then not do it… forgive me for justifying my mistakes and passing the blame to others in my mind… forgive me for lying to the Holy Spirit.

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord … [Psalm 130:3-6a]

Thanks be to God.

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One in Heart and Mind

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2009| 1 Comment »

Act 4:32
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

This line makes a lot of people uncomfortable. They go to a lot of trouble to explain it away (that was then, this is now). Others go off and start communes and do their best to live in community. In some cases, these communities are successful, but most are not. There has been a resurgence of interest in communal living through the growth of the emergent movement and the next generation of believers.

In any event, it is clear that in New Testament time, that time after Jesus’ resurrection, living and sharing and being of one heart and mind was the norm. This is what people wanted to do. I don’t believe it was mandated, it just happened. It evolved from that moment in their lives. The message of the time was simple: Jesus Christ, the son of God, died on the cross and was raised up. They expected him to return soon as well.

But, in the same way that Jesus was not the Messiah everyone expected, he didn’t return within anyone’s timeline either. At this point in the story, there were upwards to 5,000 believers. What did that look like? How did they really operate in one heart and mind? How did they really live “in community?”

Being in one heart and mind is not easy. There must be trust, sacrifice, compromise, flexibility, cooperation, and love. There must be a rallying point… something everyone can agree upon.

I think it’s our first priority in any relationship: find the parallel. Look for the sphere of agreement, the commonality before addressing any of the differences. With every relationship, there will always be at least one congruence. Let’s start there.

Shakespeare’s Shylock said it most ably:

I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die?

Perhaps the person is saying: I am a Muslim. I am an African. I am poor. I am gay. I am physically challenged. I am old. I am alone.

Today, I seek oneness in heart and mind.

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