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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

Stop and Turn Away

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 2:37b-38
“Brothers, what shall we do?” [the crowd] Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit…”

Repent. It’s become such an inaccessible word over the years. It’s like a joke. How many times have we seen caricatures of “preachers” holding up a bible and shaking it over the crowd: “Repent you sinners!” Who can even hear the real message anymore?

And yet, it’s exactly “repent” that is the core to change. Repent is not just a religious term, it’s a personal experience. It’s a choice. Change… for good or evil… cannot happen without choice.

Personally, I find myself bemoaning over the same sins every day: gossip and judging others (to name two of the most popular). Both are extraordinarily nasty sins and I am ashamed to confess them. But the point here is that shedding these sins is not just about confession and the receiving of forgiveness… there is a point where I must “stop” and do something else instead.

Once, in counseling session some years ago, I was crying over these and other “besetting” sins (as though they have a mind and life of their own) and how I struggled with them. In the end, the revelation was simple: “I didn’t want it badly enough” … I didn’t want to change enough. I didn’t want to stop enough. The benefits of continuing were still outweighing the unknown of stopping. Who would I be if I stop this behavior? Who would I be if I change?

So often, people (including me) are more comfortable with our current state because it’s a “known.” But to change or “repent” means we are moving into an unknown territory. We are pioneering into a future we cannot predict. Fear, doubt, insecurities, anxiety also jump into the fray.

I am a bit of a hypocrite. I say I like change, but really, I mean change around me… I can adapt to that kind of change. But, I’m different when it comes to my own behaviors. Those changes are much easier to avoid.

So, today, one challenge: stop and turn away from gossip. If what I say cannot be said with the person standing there beside me, it shouldn’t be said. End of story.

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Crowd Think

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on September 10, 2009| 1 Comment »

John 18:12a; 15a
From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jews kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar…” …they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”

Once you get a crowd started, it’s pretty hard to change its direction. Once it gets hold of a picture or a phrase, it’s next to impossible to replace with another. The phrase or picture becomes some kind of mantra and repetition breeds crowd think.

Even if Pilate had released Jesus (which he thought he could control [see vs 10]), the crowd would have carried out their judgment in one way or another. Jesus became, for the crowd, a scapegoat.

This kind of crowd think is still happening today. There are influential people who can get a crowd going with just a few buzz words or volatile images. This week, there was a huge brouhaha over the education speech President Obama offered to all schools around the country as a live feed. The reaction to this proposal was fueled by words like “brainwashing” and “socialism.” Once those words were out there, the crowd (particularly the virtual one) could not be turned.

Crowds can be manipulated for good or for evil. It just depends who gets hold of them first. In previous generations, this work was done in person: a charismatic leader would speak and arouse a crowd’s sentiments. Today, this kindling of emotions is done on the Internet and by email. It’s a stampede of messages.

Once a crowd is on the “march,” it’s only violence or time that can break through the din. This kind of crowd cannot hear logic or respond to pleading. Either the pushback is of equal intensity (think of demonstrations) or the intensity peters out because it cannot sustain itself over time.

I imagine there were a lot of people who regretted their participation in the crowd think that called for the crucifixion of Jesus. We should also take care that we aren’t getting caught up in crowd think.

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Exposing Gentleness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Philippians 4:5a
“Let your gentleness be evident to all….” [Paul]

Exposing gentleness has always sounded dangerous to me. That’s why most people perceive me as having a “strong,” maybe even tough exterior. It’s a type of shield for my heart. I’m sure, even my dearest friends, wouldn’t choose “gentle” to describe me. But it is there.

I only expose my gentle self when I judge the circumstances are safe. For instance, I’m sure my pets would call me gentle most of the time, particularly one on one. Or is it that they gentle me? In any event, I respond to their unconditional love. But the heart cannot count on unconditional love from others. The gentle heart must give it.

One key to exposing the gentle heart is not responding like for like. I get sucked in emotionally to the flames of others when I want to be cool water.

Another key is trusting God to protect my heart. I think the revelation for me today is that a heart protected by God is like a “tempurpedic mattress” – it returns to its shape naturally. It’s not that the heart won’t be pushed or compressed, but it will bounce back.

In truth, the gentle heart is resilient and very strong. The gentle heart accepts people right were they are. The gentle heart places no expectations on others. The gentle heart is patient. The gentle heart is brave.

Oh, gentle heart, be brave today.

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Woe to the Rich — That’s Us

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 6:24
“But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort…”

I am so uncomfortable with this teaching of Jesus. Face it: I am rich and this is not good news.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am really just like everyone else I know on the most part–middle class. But in comparison with the rest of the world, we’re rolling in dough. When I take the time to really absorb the truth of this phrase, I am ashamed and a tad worried.

When the economy “tanked,” my husband and I have been confronted with the outrageous cost of our lifestyle. We are, in U.S. terms, broke. We owe more on credit cards than we should. We spend more than we make. We indulge our wants and assume our needs will be met. We take a lot for granted.

We have passed along this “comfort” lifestyle to our children who continue to have expectations of what is normal: a packed refrigerator, vacations, name-brand clothes, and plenty of heat when it’s cold and air conditioning when it’s hot. They assume the “economy” problems are for all those other people.

Basically, we’ve been skipping over this scripture for years and that may prove to be a mistake sooner than later.

In the same way that the environment cannot be turned around on a dime, our own lifestyle will not change overnight either. We must make a conscious decision to change. We must do so in agreement. And if we don’t do this willingly and soon, we may have to do so in crisis.

Forgive us. Re-align our priorities before they are re-aligned for us. Give us courage to change the way we live. Let us not be like the “rich young ruler.” [Matthew 19:16-26]

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Starting a Fire

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on August 1, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Luke 12:49
“I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!…”

It takes energy to start a fire. That is, unless you have another fire to pass along.

But if you’re starting from scratch: you have to have a few essentials like kindling or some other fire-friendly fuel, a spark (from expended energy), and oxygen to keep it going. Those who saw the movie, Castaway, will remember how important and difficult it was for the hero to start a fire. He knew the basics in how to do it, but implementing his knowledge was harder than he had imagined.

The easiest method, of course, is to have a small fire already going and you simply touch that fire to the new “environment” until it catches. Jesus tells us that He is this starter fire. We just need to prepare the kindling and provide the oxygen. Unfortunately, most of us want to control the flame. Burn here, Lord, but not there. And please, don’t burn up all my “stuff.” And, oh, please don’t let the fire hurt me. In fact, why don’t we just set aside a special area for your fire, Jesus? In that way, you can just burn and burn and it won’t hurt anything or anybody. It will be orderly and controlled. It will be on my terms.

One of my favorite worship songs is “Refiner’s Fire,” because I know the fire is essential to my faith and growth, like a forest that must occasionally experience a burn for new life to spring up. But I fear the fire at the same time. I fear that all my personal wants and desires being consumed by His Fire. I fear the loss of control. I fear that His refining fire will not leave all that is pure and holy and strong, but instead, only ashes will remain.

O Lord, have mercy on me. Forgive my fears. Start the real fire… not the fireplace version.

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From Fear to Silence

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , on July 8, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 9:22
His parents said this [about the miracle] because they were afraid of the Jews, for already the Jews had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Christ would be put out of the synagogue.

I have a problem with silence in general. I don’t mean keeping the silence, at least, that’s not my norm. Nope, I am a great talker. I am a typical “extrovert” and “A-type” personality. I fill space and time with talk. I talk to think. I talk fast. And as I’m talking, I’m watching the reaction. If what I have said seems to have offended in some way, I just keep talking until the other person’s body language settles down. I can usually talk myself in and out of trouble.

And yet, there are times I keep silent. If I fear my place in the scheme of things might be at risk, I do hold back. I think this is a poor reason to be quiet. It’s not so much choosing silence as it is choosing not to speak. There’s a difference.

If we are silent for fear of reprisals, that’s not the right motive. If we are silent because we have self-edited and decided our opinion will not have value, this is not the right motive. If we are silent because we don’t want people to know who we are or what we really think, this is not the right motive.

The best silence is the one for listening. The next best silence is the one we choose to avoid sin: gossip, hurtful remarks, and angry outbursts. But being silent out of fear is a bad habit.

Today, I want to look at the silences and examine their source.

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Walking on Water

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , on June 9, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 6:19
When they [the disciples] had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified.

Here are a few questions about this passage:

  1. Why did the disciples leave without Jesus? Did he tell them to leave?
  2. Why did Jesus walk to them on the water? Was it just more convenient or was he showing them a truth?
  3. Did they think He had abandoned them?
  4. Whose idea was it?
  5. Why were they afraid?

So far, in all six of the early chapters in the book of John, Jesus was telling the crowds AND the disciples who he was. He was establishing his authority.

He is still doing the same thing with us, but we don’t recognize Him. I am listening to a light fantasy book for young people and one of the characters says that “humans” can’t see through the mist. They see what they want to see.

Look, Jesus is walking on the water today!

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