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Posts Tagged ‘hope’

First Seed

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , on August 17, 2010| 2 Comments »

Starting something new always seems so daunting. But, in reality, it’s God who provides the “first seed,” the initiative to begin. The source of all beginnings is the One at the very beginning, the fountainhead.

II Corinthians 9:10
Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.

Jesus and his cohort used the planting metaphors for good reason: they speak loudly to the basics. I get so caught up on the complexities of life that I lose track of the baseline.

I think I’ve been planting the wrong seeds in the wrong ground at the wrong time of my life. Well, maybe not wrong, but not the best seeds. I’m trying too hard to use someone else’s seeds . . . trying to build on someone else’s foundation . . . trying to become the image of who I think I should be instead of who I am.

The book by Elizabeth Gilbert and now, the subsequent movie, Eat, Pray, Love is finding so much resonance with women because we recognize ourselves in her pre-journey self. We recognize how often we have been sucked up into someone else’s story and lost something along the way.

But I can’t take off a year to let go of all my previous choices. Instead, I must begin each day as a journey. And I must look to God who offers me a new seed each day to plant.

This day can be new. This day holds the potential for anything and everything. This day holds a seed of an idea.

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Love Without Measure

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on August 2, 2010| Leave a Comment »

One thing that Jesus had going that Paul did not: lack of expectations. In these verses, I hear Paul’s own disappointment and frustration. “What more can I do for you?” He’s human. . . just like me.

II Corinthians 6:11-13
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

How many women get frustrated at their children and mates for a lack of appreciation of the sacrifices? Periodically there are rather humorous stories of women going on strike to “wake up” their families. “Look what I’m doing here!!!!” Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Relationships often suffer from these inequalities.

Unfortunately, love has no such guarantees. We can do and love and serve but we cannot limit our doing and loving and serving to the degree of reciprocity. We’ll always be disappointed.

Oh, if I could really get this truth into my heart. If I could stop looking out for evidence of their love for me. It’s not my job to measure. Help me this day to love without fear.

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In the Face of Despair

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on July 10, 2010| 6 Comments »

No, I have not faced despair to the point of facing death. My life is blessed. What are my struggles compared to walking streets where a car bomb could go off at any moment or looking into the eyes of my starving children each day or living in a tent city or carrying water for miles in plastic water jugs?

II Corinthians 1:8b-9
We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

I understand the theory of trusting God in the face of despair. I understand that God is present for the poorest of the poor, for the loneliest of the lonely, the widows and orphans, the lost. But I have only witnessed these lives from afar. Even when I went to Africa, I was in a cocoon of safety.

In Namibia, I spent one afternoon at the Mafuta village where our church-sponsored children’s home was providing a lunch to the local school children. And I was touched by their need, their struggle. And yet, these were better off than many. They were being fed while many others elsewhere are not.

Would I have the courage to trust in God in the face of true despair? Would I be able to hold fast to my faith?

It is the reason I am still in awe of Mother Teresa when she served in Calcutta. She faced the despair of others every day. But she was able to sustain herself in Christ. Only her faith in God allowed her to rise each day and touch the dead and dying. To be the hands of love. She could not bring hope, even. Just tenderness and love in the face of despair.

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With Opportunity Comes Opposition

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Truly, whenever a door opens, it does seem that obstacles come flying across and even through the opening. Too often, when this happens to me, I find myself closing the door, fearful of potential attack and worse, for me, failure. A clear view of the way through does not necessarily mean it’s the right door.

I Corinthians 16:8-10
But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.

There’s a Bible story about this situation [Numbers 13-21-30]: Moses sent a group of men to spy out the land of Canaan. When they got there, they found a beautiful land, “flowing with milk and honey.” But along with the verdant land, there were fortified cities and even giants. It all seemed too daunting to the scouts except for Caleb, who believed the opportunity was from God and therefore, worth the cost.

Opposition in the face of opportunity may also mean there is a sacrifice to attaining the goal. Our culture has adopted the “quick fix” way of doing things. If it doesn’t come easily, it’s not worth doing.

I have seen students leave college within one semester because it was so much more difficult they they expected. There was an initial goal but the demands were greater than their desire to overcome the challenges.

I remember when I was first getting into the theater business in Chicago back in the seventies. There weren’t as many professional and semi-professional theaters back then as there are now. As a result, most actors would venture into the modeling or acting in commercials or trade shows (in addition to waiting tables, of course). This process includes presenting oneself to an agency with a head shots and resumes and a hope that they might like you well enough to send you on an audition. The audition: that’s the opportunity.

But every audition would have hundreds of other starving, good-looking, perfect-for-the-part actors and actresses. If a “newbie” didn’t get a job from one or two of those auditions, the agency lost interest. They wanted instant success and verification that the “product” (actor) was a viable commodity.

How do you fight that kind of opposition? Intellectually, I always knew the answer: practice and perseverance. But emotionally, I couldn’t handle the disappointments, the losses, the failures. I didn’t look or sound like the “All-American” girl. Instead of leveraging who I was, I kept trying to be someone I wasn’t. I actually gave in to the opposition.

Opposition builds strength and like fire, separates the dross from the pure gold. It’s a good thing.

God help me accept opposition and to stand firm in its face, to learn what I must learn and then to forge ahead.

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What’s wrong with this picture?

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010| 1 Comment »

Paul is a little testy with the Corinthians in Chapter 4. He compares his lifestyle with theirs. It would be like comparing Mother Teresa’s lifestyle with mine. Indeed, what is wrong with this picture?

I Corinthians 4:8a, 9a
Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! . . . For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena.

I was uncomfortable reading Paul today. After all, he’s writing to me just as much as he’s writing to the Corinthians. Compared to the poor of the world, I am living a king’s life. Compared to the relative wealth in any third world country, I am still living like royalty. In Africa, the villager measures wealth by land and cattle and food to eat. In America, we measure wealth by extraneous “toys” like electronics, paper money, investments, cars, and multiple bathrooms in a house.

This is still my stumbling block. It always has been and until my life changes, it will continue to be a plank in my eye [Luke 6:42].

I am afraid to be poor again.

How many times have a I sat in a Bible study or small group and talked about our wealth? We nod our heads and agree it’s problematic, but then we all return to our three and four bedroom houses with two and a half baths and two cars sitting in the driveway. Minimum.

Or, to make ourselves feel better, we drag out the Biblical examples of the wealthy who were close to Jesus: Joseph of Arimathea (who gave up his tomb for Jesus) or Zacchaeus, the tax collector, who climbed a tree to see Jesus and entertained him that night (oh, wait, he gave a way huge portions of his accumulated wealth that day).

Honestly, there’s no getting around it. Our wealth is a type of sin. We can tithe 10%, 15%, or even 20% and still we are carefully holding and caring and multiplying the remainder.

Oh, we say it’s only the “love of money” that is sin [I Timothy 6:10]. So, I don’t “love” money? I just love what money can buy. I love it’s power so much I spend more than I earn and put myself in debt.

Paul says to imitate him. I can’t do it. There’s a reality check. No. I have to find my own balance between culture, commitment, and Christ. This is not the first century.

I have no real solution. But I do know that it’s here where the voice of God must enter my soul and bring revelation. It is here where grace must make her appearance. It is here where mercy must do battle with condemnation. It is here where potential change must be embraced within the loving arms of a Redeemer.

Just as Jesus accepted the prostitutes and beggars, he accepts me. And just as he transformed them, he can transform me. I don’t know what that will look like. I cannot know the true outcome of this picture. I can only trust the Artist.

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One Judge

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2010| Leave a Comment »

There really isn’t much point in beating myself up for every mistake or worrying about the “judgments” of others when I screw up. There is only one judge that matters.

I Corinthians 4:3-4
I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me

The whole “judging” thing is my true Achilles heel. It’s a habit. It’s a trap. It’s a sin.

And to make matters worse, I turn the same eye inward. I am hard on myself too. No one escapes that voice.

But the answer is so simple. There is only one true Judge and that one knows the whole story. That One knows the reasons. That One knows the best help along the way. That One will intercede for me. That One is both judge and defender.

If I could really let go of judging others and myself, I believe I could love more freely. Love and “judging” cannot live together. Love accepts the now and holds hope in the heart for tomorrow.

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All Things are Mine

Posted in Time Up to Pentecost, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 22, 2010| Leave a Comment »

We each have what is needed to become what God intends. Our destiny is fueled by our giftings, environment, genealogy, and circumstances. Do I like that idea? Not much. I keep trying to run away from my past, my trials, and my circumstances.

I Corinthians 3:21-23
So let no one exult proudly concerning men [boasting of having this or that man as a leader], for all things are yours, Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas (Peter), or the universe or life or death, or the immediate and [a] threatening present or the [subsequent and uncertain] future–all are yours, And you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s. [Amplified]

For years, I kept searching for the right church, the right leader/teacher, the right community, the right books. I’d hear about incredible anointings upon this church or that church, this leader or that leader and ask God why I didn’t have access to these experiences. I’d read about miracles and outpourings, but always from afar. And with the advent of lightspeed communications, I could hear and see all of these things happening elsewhere.

It’s like daydreaming about winning the lottery. Oh, if only I had a million bucks, then I could really do something good. Why, Lord, I’d even tithe 10% of that million. There’s generosity. And I’ll send another 10% overseas to the missions our church supports in Africa. And then I’ll pay off my debts. I know you want me to do that, it’s scriptural. And then I’ll sock some away for my kids’ education. But once I get past these obligations, I can rub my hands together and really have some spending fun.

When will I get it?

Look in the mirror. This is what I have: my health (for today), my age, my family, my knowledge, my work, my friends, my church, my neighborhood, my pets, my “stuff,” my faith. . . ah, my Redeemer, who really owns all of these things. Remember, I surrendered myself to God. That included the whole package, what it was then and what it became through the years and ultimately, what it will be.

This day, I have everything I need to serve God. It’s up to me to accept all the challenges and circumstances and to live, really live this day fully and to apply all I know to it. I am not a president or a preacher. I am not world renown. I am not a celebrity. I am me and I am called to live this day completely in the name of the One God. That’s all. That’s enough.

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