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Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

Love Never Fails

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Power in the basics. There is such a simplicity to the message: love God, love others. One builds on the other. One is enhanced by the other. And along the way, the love itself creates a momentum for the ages. Love is like energy: it never disappears.

I Corinthians 13:8a, 13
Love never fails. . . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I know about energy intellectually, but it’s not something I think about every day. Energy is bouncing around us all the time. Energy is transformed from one state to another, always moving, morphing, or actively waiting. And so is love.

This is how love never fails. Love is resilient and creative. Love is strong and gentle. Love is comfortable in the world of paradox.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe. And instead of harnessing it, we have cheapened it with images of Valentine hearts, cupids, and “Precious Moments” figurines. We have allowed love to become sex. We have watered down the strength of love.

But it is still there. Love is still available, because love never fails. Love is not just the words. Love is a space where energy can flow back and forth. I can’t really love pizza, it’s an inanimate object.

God is love [I John 4:8]. God is light [I John 1:5]. God is energy. God cannot be destroyed. To love others is to “god” others.

If we want to introduce God to others, then we’d better start at the ground level with love. And if we’re not sure what that means, then we need to learn I Corinthians 13 by heart, ground it in the heart, move it through the heart: kindness, generosity, patience, humility, caring, calm, soothing, forgiving, unassuming, and contented.

Love is a practice.

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What Love is Not

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I Corinthians 13:4b-6
. . . It [love] does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

If love is not these things, perhaps it’s a good idea for me to consider the antonyms. I can’t really “do” or “practice” a “NOT.” So I looked them up.

The opposite of the verb envy is to be confident or contented, to be generous and giving. Do I reflect love in this way? Is my love toward others unwavering and confident. Am I content with the love I have as well as the love I can give. Interesting though, these are actually “states of being.” I cannot practice contentment and confidence, not really. I can turn a corner and choose. And generosity comes from within. Generous giving comes from confidence and contentment. So, perhaps, “not envying” what others have is indeed the first step toward contentment.

The opposite of boasting is to be modest, quiet, and deprecating (playing down what one has). It’s not that I don’t have the “stuff” or the relationships or the love or the ability, it’s that I don’t brag about what I have. This brings to mind the “ugly American” who travels with a chip on his/her shoulder, expecting service up to certain standards. It’s an “I deserve” attitude. All of those cliches like “keeping up with the Joneses” are counter to the basics of not boasting. Our of pride in the accomplishments of our children, we often provide litany after litany of their successes, their grades, their jobs, their scores.

The opposite of rudeness is kindness, politeness, and respect. This I can practice, if I choose to do so. The more kindness I show, the more politeness, the more respect, the less rude I will seem. Politeness has gone out of favor. Our children do not recognize politeness as necessarily important. But do we realize that love requires this of us? If I love my children, I should also be kind, polite and respect them for who they are in each stage of life. It is my job to model that.

The opposite of self-seeking is similar to the opposite of envy — it’s giving, benevolent, and caring; moral and ethical. This is the essence of mindfulness of “other.” These are the traits of the humble. Really, it reminds of stepping out of costume, the selfish costume, and showing the tender center within. It’s casting off the habit of selfishness.

The opposite of anger is joy, pleasantness, calm and being soothing. I cannot practice joy, it’s a result, but I can be pleasant instead of not, I can look for my inner calm and bring it to the surface, I can be soothing to the one who is hurting. I cannot be angry if I am doing any of these other things. There is no longer room for anger.

The opposite of “not keeping a record of wrongs” must be forgetfulness, choosing to “not recall” or dismiss the offense. And of course, forgiveness. They go hand in hand.

The last antonym for “not delighting in evil” is provided for us and is a surprise: rejoicing in truth. I would have thought it would be delighting in “good,” but instead, Paul chooses truth as the powerhouse to overcome evil. I can indeed practice truth and with it, I will be able to walk away from evil and lies.

The opposite of pride is humility. And each one of these opposites is embraced in this one word. Oh Lord, I am so far. Give me courage to embrace and exercise those aspects of love that will help me evolve truth in humility.

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Accept What Is

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Opposites. Either I judge others quickly, forgetting I am equally fallen; or, I wash over reality because I want everything to be smooth sailing. (Don’t rock the boat.) Both ways are problematic and reflect denial.

Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Paul writes that we must accept one another but the acceptance must be based on truth. It’s not about accepting someone as we “wish” he or she might be (eventually) but accepting what is really there. That’s not particularly easy if the person is difficult.

I confess, I withhold a lot of my acceptance of others based on their behaviors. I accept them “up to a point,” but not really. And yet, Christ accepted me right where I was 30 years ago: alcoholic, drug-dependent, crass, slovenly, and immoral. Jesus did not wait until I got my act together or became approachable. I was book smart but Bible naive. I didn’t know I needed a savior. I didn’t believe I needed anyone.

The stories of Jesus show his ability to accept others over and over again. It’s one of the reasons the Pharisees and “teachers of the law” chastised him: eating and drinking with sinners. Jesus allowed himself to touch, listen, and understand others who were immersed in sin but was confident in the Spirit of the Father within to keep him centered and whole. Jesus knew Himself.

Historically, I have been a bit of a chameleon and unconscious mimic. When I lived in the South for a few years, I developed a pretty strong southern accent, just by sheer exposure. When my kids bring home slang from school, I find myself incorporating it into my daily language without effort. I am too much like a sponge.

One of my favorite illustrations of this phenomenon was years ago when I had my first real “day job” in an advertising agency accounting pool back in Chicago. Thirty women sat in rows of desks with calculators and piles of paper. Initially, I was the oddball, the hippie in my colorful clothes and wire-rimmed glasses who mocked those girls for talking every day about their dinners the night before and what they watched on television. A year later, I had become one with them. I was talking recipes, husbands, television soaps, and vacations. I had acclimated and conformed to the daily norm. It was a type of acceptance, but not the one that Jesus proposes.

It’s not about fitting in. It’s about being strong in heart.

Accepting others comes from within. Accepting others, based on truth, requires an honest assessment of oneself first, then others. Accepting others is a kindness, a type of love. Accepting others is inclusive. Accepting others gives permission for that person to simply “be.” Accepting others allows for differences.

Today, I know, I will be challenged to accept others. Keep me centered in order to be fully present in the reality of others. Keep my heart open and yet fully infused with the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Thanks be to God.

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Rescue

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2010| 3 Comments »

Rescue implies that a person is in a dangerous situation. At the point of discovery, there are no accusations or recriminations against the person in need. We don’t scream down the mind shaft, “what were you thinking?” … or at least, we shouldn’t.

Acts 26:17
“…I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them. …” [Paul retelling what he heard Jesus say to him on the road to Damascus.]

Our family is in the process of looking for a new dog. Historically, we have always waited for a dog to drop into our lives or we search out a “rescue.” These are the animals who have been abandoned, abused, or neglected. They are in need of love and a family. They need encouragement and protection. They need a place of safety. Sometimes, it takes a lot of time and patience to incorporate a rescued pet into a family.

Human beings are even more complicated to rescue. The people who end up in bad circumstances because of their own choices may be a little easier (if they can admit to the part they played in getting there). But, many are in denial. In either case, these people still need to be rescued “out” of theirs situations before anything else can happen. Again, using the mind shaft image, it’s not worth explaining or lecturing to the person at the bottom about playing too close to the edge.

Sometimes, I think we try “rescue” tactics with people who don’t believe they are in trouble. This does not work. You cannot dangle rescue paraphernalia in front of folks who don’t feel like they are in danger. That would be like handing someone a life preserver in the desert. It doesn’t make sense.

If we are in the rescue business, then we need to understand that particular person’s mind shaft, desert, or ocean experience. And if we aren’t equipped to do that, then we need to find someone who can.

There are things, however, that can be given to anyone in any situation. They are grace gifts: love, kindness, mercy, forgiveness, and acceptance. These have little cost. Giving them is a choice.

But rescue is action. Rescue takes extra energy. Rescue takes lots of time. Rescue may require more than one worker. Rescue can be difficult. Rescue may not be convenient for the rescuer(s).

Jesus told Paul that he would rescue him from difficult circumstances … but Jesus also said he would place Paul among the very people that would drag him into more difficult circumstances.

Once rescued, it’s important to rescue others. But, we must be wise and tolerant and loving along the way. We must be ready to answer the call of “help.” Before then… we just keep giving the grace gifts.

Give me courage to ask for rescue when I need it. Give me courage to respond to the call for rescue from others.

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Act of Kindness

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on October 2, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Acts 4:9a
“…we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed,…” [Peter]

I love this! Peter and John had just brokered a complete healing of a guy who was crippled from birth through faith and the name of Jesus. And how does he reference this miracle: an act of kindness!

It’s a moment of empathy and a desire to make things better. An act of kindness begins within one’s own heart and mind. But we have to “see” the need before we can act, kindly or otherwise.

Many years ago (back in 1993), the pop culture phenomenon spread faster than a virus: random acts of kindness. The simplicity of it made it easy to remember and even accomplish. People everywhere were stepping up to both small and large expressions of kindness. Everyone seemed to know, inherently, what kindness might look like.

The best part of it is the personal nature of those random acts. An act is particularly kind if it comes from a person’s heart. My daughter can ruin an act of kindness in one quick stroke. How? When she demands one of me: “Bring me a surprise from Chicago when you go,” or “Buy me this or that for my birthday,” or “Give me a surprise party.” An act of kindness cannot be demanded (or even suggested for that matter). It becomes something else. When I ask my kids to clean their rooms and they do it (on occasion), that’s not kindness, that’s just cooperation or obedience.

The healing of the crippled man by Peter and John was their first big act of kindness post-resurrection. Jesus didn’t tell them what to do, when to do it, or where. This act came from within. They just knew it was the right moment.

I think it’s time to resurrect conscious acts of kindness, meet a need, broker a healing, show love.

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Friends or Servants

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , on August 19, 2009| Leave a Comment »

John 15:15
“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

So which is it? Friend or servant?

Jesus is talking to his disciples, summarily on the same night that he just washed their feet. This section of the book of John is part of a very long record of Jesus’s final teachings to the disciples.

He pronounces them friends because he has shared everything he received from the Father. There is only one proviso: obey his commands. And two verses later, he brings it down to the same singular command: Love each other.

Friends love each other. Servants do not… necessarily. A friend of Jesus follows in the way. A friend of Jesus bears the fruit. A friend of Jesus can ask for whatever … because he/she is in the way of Jesus. The foundation is there before the asking. The love is there before the asking. So many folks wonder why they don’t get their prayers answered… well, answered the way they want them answered. My guess, the problem is that the relationship is not a friend relationship, it’s a servant one.

I want to be a friend to Jesus and others. Make it so Lord Jesus.

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On Brotherly Affection 1

Posted in Fifty days with Jesus, tagged , , , , , on November 17, 2008| Leave a Comment »

Pastor Craig taught that the Greek word used in II Peter 1:7 for brotherly affection or brotherly kindness is “philadelphia,” which describes a type of “love” that exists between good friends and family. He then went on to say how important this familial relationship is in a church to support our walk in Christ and how critical an element it is to add to the many qualities we have studied so far in II Peter 1.

So why am I so sad? This should be an easy one. But no, I must confess, I don’t always feel it. There have been times in my Christian walk where I have felt very connected to the body of believers with whom I worship. Back in my early days when Mike and I attended our church in Atlanta… those people held place in my heart for years and years despite time and distance when we moved to Maryland. And there have been seasons where individuals within this church have been significant, perhaps moreso when we were dynamically involved in a cell or small group. And then, there was Emmaus and Tres Dias and Cursillo. I would have to say I experienced “philadelphia” in that setting the most and when those relationships carried into the church, there was love.

But what about today? Where has the love gone? It is true that we are no longer active in Emmaus. Is that the only way to nurture brotherly affection? What was it about Emmaus that brought out these feelings and commitment to one another? What other ways are there to nurture philadelphia in a church? It’s more than just a decision… there must be focus.

Help me Lord to discover the root of my discontent. I have a suspicion I’ll pursue tomorrow.

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