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Posts Tagged ‘love’

Loving Choices

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , on March 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Today I am being asked to choose, consciously, to adapt my behavior for the sake of another. And that, not for just any “other,” but for a “sister/brother,” someone who shares my faith walk, who is in koinonia (community) with me. Hmmmm.

Romans 14:14b-15a
. . . But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat [by what you are doing], you are no longer acting in love. . . .

This challenges me because I have been working on authenticity so much lately. Historically, I have not believed I could “be my true self” around some my church friends. I perceive myself as slightly different from them, a little off-beat. I know I enjoy activities that some would consider inappropriate in their eyes (certain books & movies for instance). I have political points of view that may very well be quite different from their own.

I have resented this “duality” and I have wanted to “come out” (and no, I’m not saying I’m gay), to my church family. I just want to be real… authentic and transparent.

So, what do these passages from Romans tell me to consider?

Here’s what I think it has to be about for me: it’s a difference in attitude. The “hiding” of my true self before was based on assumptions. And yet, I don’t really know if what I do, think, or read is a stumbling block for someone else. I have rarely opened myself up to that degree. And so, I still think I need to continue this path of onion peeling. However, if my choices cause someone else distress, then I can consciously choose not to participate in these activities or conversations for the sake of the other.

Again, the difference is in the conscious choice for the sake of the other.

I need to think about this more. But for today, I just want to be more mindful of the reasons behind my behaviors, the roots. Assumptions are dangerous for everyone involved. But loving choices can be healing.

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I Can Only Live My Story

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2010| 4 Comments »

Just live my story, that’s all I am asked to do. If I could keep it clear in my head that it’s my own journey that is mine to share, to correct, to adapt, to transform, and unfortunately, to also withhold, warp, or destroy, then I wouldn’t be so judgmental of others.

Romans 14:10, 12
Why do you criticize and pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you look down upon or despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God. . . . And so each of us shall give an account of himself [give an answer in reference to judgment] to God. [Amplified]

God has the end of all the stories in hand. I cannot know what is in the heart of another person or their struggles or their understanding in this moment. Each person’s way carries its own challenges. Truly, who am I to say whether this one or that one is doing the best with what has been given to bear. We are all trying to figure it out. We are all trying to make the best of it.

These passages from Romans are actually an invitation to freedom. It is not for me to carry another’s journey. I can walk beside. I can live fully in my own understanding of a life in Christ and it is in that living that others might experience contact with love, hope, joy, etc. But it is not for me to drag the unwilling along my way. Nor is it for me to condemn their way (for the path could change in a moment).

To help another is simply to be present with that “sacred other.” To help another is to give access to my heart and soul. It is only my authentic self that can give life. It is only the Christ within who can touch a life.

Oh Lord God, may my account in that last day be a testimony of discovery: more of Christ and less of me.

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Disputable Matters

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2010| 1 Comment »

I’ve been watching the controversy unfold over health care reform in our country and the division, not only marches through party lines now, but even people of faith are finding themselves on opposite sides of “the aisle.” We must learn to disagree without “harsh judgments” of the other person.

Romans 14:1
Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.

There will always be “disputable matters” in our culture. We must take care, I think, to avoid condemnation of those with whom we disagree. We can participate in the political process by contacting and engaging our elected “authorities,” and we can work toward electing those we prefer, but we should not be harsh and critical with one another. There is no point.

Usually what happens is that we follow a particular pundit, someone we grow to trust, and as we listen to his/her take on a controversial subject we go along, “yes,” we think, “that sounds right.” And off we go repeating what we heard and even standing rigid on the ideas of another. But guess what? People are doing that on both sides of the equation.

I remember when my children were younger and we would pray with them before a sports game that God would give them victory. But then, one day, Kip asked me, “Does the other team pray too?” And there you have it. Yes, they do. They are also praying for victory. Who will win? God ultimately sorts these things out.

There are no Republicans or Democrats or Communists or Tea Parties in heaven. God is the great equalizer.

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Neighbor Love

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2010| Leave a Comment »

The simplicity and power of loving my neighbor as I love myself is staggering. But I don’t do it. I’m not just talking about the people who live next door of course. I mean that more challenging neighbor, the one typified in the parable of the good Samaritan [Luke 10:25-37], possibly even an enemy.

Romans 13:9b-10
You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. Love does no wrong to one’s neighbor [it never hurts anybody]. Therefore love meets all the requirements and is the fulfilling of the Law. [Amplified]

I know, people roll their eyes when I start talking about the force of love. It all sounds so “cheesy” and “new-agey” or maybe it’s those memories of “flower power” and “free love” from the 60’s. But I keep running into this command as I study the scriptures and I think the repetition is worth noting.

Scot McKnight has it right when he espouses what he has coined the Jesus Creed, that basic tenet captured by Jesus when he was asked by the Pharisees, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” [Matthew 22:35-39]

Is my trouble in my inability to love myself? I know a lot of teaching has turned in on itself and somehow, the emphasis has shifted to loving self. Pretty funny, really. There are folks who can’t seem to get away from it “being all about them.” As though this practice of loving self would teach us to love another. I don’t think so.

Or is the problem in my definitions of love? Certainly Webster’s Dictionary doesn’t help much as there is so much emphasis on romantic and sexual love and that’s not the love that is meant for my neighbor (unless it’s “Housewives of Orange County” or whatever is the new “Peyton Place”).

Truthfully, I know enough about the love of scriptures to practice it if I really wanted to do it. Agape love is the term used here and it’s more sacrificial in nature. Agape love means I must step outside my comfort zone. And in the end, that’s the main reason I don’t practice it regularly. I don’t like being outside my comfort zone.

God forgive me.

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Bless the Persecutors?

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2010| 2 Comments »

I wouldn’t normally say I am persecuted on a regular basis: you know, things like domination, fanaticism, and intimidation. But, what if it’s as simple as someone who is “cruel in their attitude toward me” [Amplified]. In either case, I’m supposed to bless them. What does that look like?

Romans 12:14-16a
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. . . .

When I teach a Bible study, I am constantly asking the participants, “What does that look like?” I ask because most people who come to these studies have a pretty good handle on the scriptures, but they have lost the specificity of how the words apply (manifest) in their daily lives. It’s one thing to read about “blessing the persecutors” and another to figure out how to do that on a regular day.

For one thing (and for the sake of transparency), I’m still contending with the implications of the word, “bless.” Usually, I can get past these verses by including the “haters” (as my kids call them) in prayer: “Bless so and so, like the woman who gave me a dirty look, or the man who yelled at me over the phone, or the boss who challenged my ability, or the teen who blatantly lied to me. Oh yeah, bless them Lord. (The hidden message: You bless them God because I sure can’t/won’t.)

But I think that’s a dodge of the truth behind the words. To bless someone goes beyond a pat on the head or a passing verbal gratuity. Blessings begin in the mind and then need to manifest into some kind of action. To bless is a verb. Just a little look at a dictionary or thesaurus is quite revealing. Everything is included from “sanctify” to “protect from evil” or “confer well being upon someone.” So, yes, there is a speaking component to blessing someone. And when we are speaking this blessing, it is a request that God confer well-being, prosperity, health, and holiness (wholeness). Every time we say “Bless” it’s a prayer.

I believe there is a second component. The command for me to bless others is not just about me “praying” a blessing over someone but to do what I can to give that person the ability to receive those blessings. If I want to bless someone truly, then I am helping that person receive what God has to offer. I am participating in the process with God. I may be called to be the hands and feet of the blessing.

To only say, “Bless them” is an empty prayer if I am not offering my own commitment to that person’s transformation or change in circumstances.

On a personal level, if someone is treating me badly, cruelly, or even betraying me and accusing me wrongly, while God is telling me to bless that person, then what? Romans 12:20 says “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.” My job is to do what is best for the person, no matter how they treat me. To actively bless someone is really just another word for loving them. I do my piece of it and the rest is up to God. If that person does not receive the blessings (mine or God’s) then the “burning coals” may indeed be brought into picture. But that’s not my job. My job is to bless/love.

Help me today, Lord, to “bless” and thereby extend love to everyone I meet today, but in particular, the persecutors. Oh, that feels overwhelming to say.

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Windows of Opportunity

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2010| 2 Comments »

The passage I read today from Romans is not a particular favorite. Talk of cutting off and God’s sternness and unbelief is always difficult. As I contemplated these unpleasant attributes of God, I considered the importance of timing.

Romans 11:23
And if they [Israelites] do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again.

Each of us has windows of opportunity to experience or meet God. I can certainly look back and see some of those windows that opened and closed. They were crossroads I didn’t recognize at the time because I took the other way. As a child, I can remember going to Vacation Bible School and although I enjoyed the activities and “something to do” in the summer, I didn’t meet God there. And later in high school, one of my closest friends was a PK (preacher’s kid) and I adored her family but it never occurred to me to embrace their God. In college, I was in a sorority where many of the girls were active in Campus Crusade, but I didn’t even consider attending a meeting. There must have been more of these “close calls from Christ” in my young adult years, but I don’t remember them.

God reached out to me and for that season of time, I could have looked through and believed. Who would I have become? No telling.

I am grateful there were many windows.

If there were many windows for me, then there are many windows for others. Christians get so hung up thinking about someone who hasn’t “accepted Christ” and “oh, they will be lost forever.” But there is always another opportunity. There is always another moment in time. We just can’t see it now.

My mother was against all things religious for years and years. By the time she reached her nineties and was living with us, I assumed she would never experience God in any kind of real way. Then, as dementia set in, the likelihood seemed even more remote. But one night, while I was sitting by her bed, chatting quietly until she fell asleep, she said, “Oh, look, it’s Jesus,” and then, “Oh, he’s reaching out to me with an invitation (this was all in Latvian, so the word was specific to a card or written invitation),” and then, after some moments she said, “I think I’ll take it. Yes, I’m going to take it.” And then after some silence, she opened her eyes and told me how beautiful it all was. I was mesmerized. I thought she might die in that moment and just go on to be with the Christ. It was an amazing experience to watch her face, her countenance and to hear the quality of her voice. It was a different woman, totally coherent, and totally enraptured. She died a few weeks later.

My mother had missed ninety years of open windows, but there was still another window ready to open again.

God can be stern and even close windows for a season, but in the end, there is still that grace and mercy and kindness. God will reach in. Today or tomorrow. It doesn’t matter to God who exists outside of human time. Holy, holy, holy.

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Freedom to Believe

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 2, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It’s ironic, when Paul the Apostle declared Christ as the Way, it was a testament of freedom to anyone who chose to believe, whether Jew or Gentile, slave or foreigner. Anyone could enter this new relationship with God. But today, the Christ message is treated as limiting, exclusive, or prescribed.

Romans 10:4
Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness [right relationship with God] for everyone who believes.

Several chapters of Romans are dedicated to the logic Paul lays out for the Jews of that time, the reasons and proof texts to support the reasons a Messiah came. He wants to convince them that the way was now open to God for anyone to believe. The season of the heart had come. “For with the heart a person believes (adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Christ) and so is justified (declared righteous, acceptable to God), . . . ” [Amplified, Romans 10:10a].

Many are guilty of limiting the Christ message, perhaps Christians most of all. We have codified the process and made rules of engagement. We have created denominations that have additional requirements such as specific types of baptism, communion practices, sins by degree, and methods of confession.

Today, we would need another Paul to set the Christians from their own chains of law.

The Christ message is one of freedom. That freedom invites us to participate in an intimate relationship with God that has never been possible before. For Christians, we must return to the simplicity of belief and confession. For non-believers, we must focus on the open door of Christ. All are welcome.

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