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life deathJesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” [Luke 13:2-3]

I had to go back and read this verse in context. What was Jesus really saying here? And then I understood. He is reminding the people, again (and again) that the death of the body is one death, but the death of the spirit is far more serious. If the personal spirit is in relationship with the Holy Spirit, if the life force within is right with God, when the body dies, there is more.

Apparently, based on this scripture, death is not a reflection of one’s goodness or evil: death comes when it comes for other reasons. And “like a thief in the night,” [I Thess 5:2] we cannot know the time of death anymore than we can know the  time of Christ’s return. Most of us can’t even fathom an early death. Not really. Who expects a child to die in three days time? Who expects a sister to die in the lobby of a hotel in Europe? Who expects a husband to die in a car accident?

When I was in school, I remember how much I hated pop quizzes. You know why? Because I was a last minute studier. I’d pull all-nighters the day before a big test or when an assignment was due. But a pop quiz? That would show the truth of it. I wasn’t on top of my work. I wasn’t doing a little every day. I was a procrastinator.

But this technique doesn’t work so well in the things of God, in the things of the Spirit, in the things of becoming more Human (that is the real intent for human). That journey is outlined for us all in the scriptures and writings of the ones who have gone before us. What are we waiting for? Granted, if I follow the paradoxes (love your enemy, give and it will be given to you, etc.), and the surrendered lifestyle, I am promised that my life here and now will be better for it. But more importantly, it is the life within that really counts.

How many ways does Jesus (or really, any of the saints and Spirit-led) have to tell us that there is more to “life” than what we see, hear, feel, and touch?

Do you want more? Are you thirsting for more of that promise? I am.

drink waterFor I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers and sisters, that our ancestors were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ.
[I Corinthians 10:1-4]

The theme for this week’s Lenten journey is “Thirst for God.” The Israelites suffered many hardships in the desert, but many of those difficulties they brought onto themselves through griping and complaint which was birthed from distrust. Early on, they were thirsty and cried out to Moses, forgetting the wonder of the parting waters and the Passover night and the plagues which bypassed them in Egypt. They focused on one thing: immediate need for water. And God provided water, despite their complaints, through the striking of a rock by the staff of Moses.

The rock is a symbol for the Christ. And the water, like the water mentioned here, is like the water in John 7:37, a water that quenches the deepest thirst. Water is used again with the woman at the well [John 4] whom Jesus invited to drink of living water and from which a person would no longer thirst again.

Where is my water? Where do I drink?

If anything, I feel more like the Samaritan woman, asking for that living water. Why don’t I feel like I can drink? I am trying to satisfy my inner thirst with the smallest amounts, like dew, floating on the surface. I am not drinking deeply.

My friends, Kathleen and Benedict Schwartz, started and run an orphanage called the Villages of Hope, AKCLI, in Zambia. Mike and I visited there early on in the process and one of their desperate needs was water. The drilling of wells was expensive and frustrating. Just across the road was a resort and golf course with plenty of water while their paltry fields were shriveling. They needed more than a trickle, they needed a gusher. And so they kept drilling, well after well after well until they hit the jackpot.

I don’t want to be satisfied with thimble-fulls of water anymore either. I have grown complacent with my little sips. It’s time to tap into the true groundwater, the lake underneath, the flowing waters of God’s love and renewal.

A Thinking God

grieving angel“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
    declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” [Isaiah 55:8-9]

Here’s the difference. When you and I “think,” it’s just an opinion or point of view or perhaps a bit of problem solving. When God thinks, things come into being or mountains move. The answer to the question, “what is God thinking” is incomprehensible to humans. Maybe, “what are You making?” would be better. I get some solace from my faith in a blueprint. Some.

We’ve gotten too casual with God. Perhaps it’s part of the new informal culture where jeans are always acceptable and language has become various letters of the alphabet. YKWIM? We want the “thumbs up” Jesus. We don’t want to be afraid of God so we make God cozy and grandfatherly.

And although a relationship with God can be warm and intimate and full of mercy, there is a point when God basically says, “because I said so.” And this moment needs to be accepted with the same surrender as “cootchy, cootchy, coo.” A creator has the ability and the right to destroy or alter or remake the object. “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?”[Romans 9:20]

Lately, some terribly difficult circumstances have dropped into the lives of my colleagues and friends: several people have been diagnosed with cancer or had serious surgeries, a couple of people have been on dialysis for over a year, and now a 3 1/2 year old child died just three days after being diagnosed with T-Cell leukemia.The child’s death has been the most difficult of all.

It’s hard to avoid the gripe, “what is God thinking?” Is there a satisfactory answer in my world? Not really.

I understand intellectually. Each journey is different. And although I have come to a peace about my friend Mary dying from pancreatic cancer and how I admire her as she embraces this new path in her life odyssey, the bottom drops out of my confidence, when it’s a child. The grief is heavy, the weight of a family’s loss is palpable.

It’s not the first time I’ve witnessed the agony. Some years ago, I went to a viewing of a baby who had died of SIDS. The mother was so distraught that she pulled the lifeless, embalmed child from the coffin and carried her around the room of the funeral chapel. She was inconsolable. And there was nothing to say.

Every step of faith in the face of pain and trauma and sorrow, is an excursion into the mind of Christ, a dance with the Holy Spirit, a siege at the entrance of the “holy of holies.” But the answer is always the same, “God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, God’s ways are not my ways.”

Seekers Wanted

Looking for GodSeek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will freely pardon. [Isaiah 55:6-7]

It’s not that God is missing, you know, or that God is moving closer and farther away. It’s the seeker who is either ready or not to discover God in Spirit, working and moving, speaking and transforming our lives. And when we, as seekers, do have a personal experience with God, that is the best moment to ask those tough questions, to not let go, like the woman with the issue of blood [Matthew 9:20-22] or Jacob, as he wrestled the angel [Genesis 22:24-30]. Both of these people knew their time had come, their opportunity, to hold tight, to touch and encounter God.

When someone who does not know God has that initial epiphany, it’s as though God appears out of nowhere, and suddenly, their new found belief, brings God close, brings in the reality of Christ Jesus, and the Presence of the Holy Spirit. It’s an “aha!” moment. In those first flushed days, it is the easiest time to ask forgiveness, to surrender the sins and bad choices, to confess.

But later on, we become more closed and closeted, despite being faithful followers of God. It’s like running into someone you know . . . I mean, you know you know the person, you go to church together or you were at meetings together, and yet, no matter how hard you try, you can’t remember the person’s name. Do you confess that you don’t remember or fake it? That would be me, at least. I am too embarrassed to confess. And so I have been with my God, too embarrassed to review that same error in judgment, that same mistake, that same blasphemy. It’s not like God doesn’t know. But I am the one who cannot bear it. So, I open up the secret room and toss yet another “truth about me” inside and shut the door.

Jesus even taught that we are to forgive one another, not just seven times, but seventy times seven times [Matthew 18:22], symbolically meaning that forgiveness has no limits. Would God do less?

I say I am a seeker of the Christ and the fullness of the Spirit within, and yet, I withhold my truths and sins. When I do this, I am not seeking at all, but hiding, like Adam and Eve in the garden [Genesis 3:8]. God sought them. God is doing the same with me.

It’s so simple: when I seek, I find.

waterCome, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost. [Isaiah 55:1]

It’s really rare that I experience true thirst, perhaps on those rare occasions when I work out or I am outside on a very hot day, but really, water is usually at arm’s length. I live in a society where water is so plentiful (for now), that I can choose other things to quench my thirst, like tea or soda or beer. It’s not like I have to have water.

But if I lived in a parched land, in a desert, I would have a different attitude toward water, I’m sure of it. If I really experienced a drought in my body that only water could refill, I would not be so cavalier about this drink, this fluid that is actually the bulk of my physical being (90%).

That is the kind of desire that would change my faith walk with God. That kind of need and craving for the things of God, for the Presence of the Holy Spirit, for the quenching power that only God can give. If I wanted God the way a truly thirsty person wants water, then I would have fullness. I would recognize God more clearly; I would hear God’s voice; I would “feel” God.

Truly, I believe it.

Instead, I continue in this rather off-hand existence with God. It’s simply not intentional in my surrender.

Don’t misunderstand me. I get thirsty for God. And I drink and I am, for that time, aware of God’s Presence and amazed by the wonder. But then, I grow complacent and dilute the drink. Funny, right? The idea of diluting “water” with other things? But it is so.

Lord, I want to drink of you this day.

miraclesA man in the crowd called out, “Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child ” . . . Even while the boy was coming [toward Jesus], the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the impure spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his father. And they were all amazed at the greatness of God. [Luke 9:38; 42-43]

Oh, I know. It’s uncomfortable to talk about demons, the devil, miracles, and all that stuff outside our normal understanding of how stuff works. Some people can’t even stand the word “evil” as though excluding it from one’s vocabulary will make it non-existent.

And yet, I contend, if we have accepted any part of the Christ story, we must be willing to consider the reality of the other parts. In other words, there are ways that our lives can and are impacted outside of a three-dimensional world. There is a spirit world and within it, forces move in a way that we may not understand, but that does not mean they don’t exist.

In recent weeks, I was instructed by a doctor to read a book about the importance of the mind in regards to pain in my body. It’s not that the pain isn’t real, it’s that the pain is camouflage of other things going on and the mind, can indeed, intercept it. But I must be aware of this possibility before anything can happen differently. And I’m thinking miracles fall within this category, we have to have knowledge and acceptance of the possibility. This is the groundwork for healing. This is the groundwork for transformation.

It’s not important to know the “how,” but simply to surrender to the power of God to do.

What is even more interesting is that Christ empowers believers to do the same for others. Whoa! Prior to Jesus meeting up with the father and the demon-possessed boy, a few of the disciples had been given a crack at it. Nada. There was still a disconnect. This story is actually told in three of the gospels (Mark 9:37-45 and Matthew 17:14-23) and Jesus explains that both faith and prayer are the cornerstones of miracles. Not faith in ourselves, but faith in the God who has the power to do (or not do).

Of course, there is another truth I’m seeing in this passage. I know that miracles are wonderful, particularly for the suffering human. But I don’t believe that miracles happen for the sake of the person. They have to be within God’s purposes, God’s scope, God’s plan. That may sound harsh, but let’s be honest, if it were otherwise, ALL would be healed. We are not all healed. Sometimes the human journey is full of heartache, illness, poverty, and sorrow. I don’t understand that any more than the next person.

So, what is my role? Do I ask for the miracle or not? Do I ask for the demon to be cast out or not? Do I ask for the healing or not?

One mistake in this asking process is to add the little insurance statement at the end, “if it be your will.” Well, that covers all the bases then, doesn’t it? I have a little back door when the healing doesn’t happen: must not have been God’s will. Yada, yada, yada. It doesn’t, however, do much for the faith angle though, does it?

So here’s the bottom line for me: “Don’t ask if I don’t believe it IS God’s will.” And if I don’t know, then don’t pray, because honestly, that’s perverse. That’s so maybe. It’s a disservice to my God who can heal and cast out demons in a moment. Silence is better. Prayer is better in private then, asking God for clarity and faith, courage and heart, vision and transparency. These then, would set the stage for God to work through me (or you).

 mouth in motionMeanwhile, Peter and those with him were slumped over in sleep. When they came to, rubbing their eyes, they saw Jesus in his glory and the two men standing with him. When Moses and Elijah had left, Peter said to Jesus, “Master, this is a great moment! Let’s build three memorials: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” He blurted this out without thinking. [Luke 9:32-33, The Message]

Oh that Peter, a man after my own heart . . . er, verbal mistakes. It’s all about the enthusiasm, I know. Believe me, I know. If I get excited about an idea, I can’t wait to blurt it out. And of course, I speak with such authority! No wonder people are put off. But how do I explain it? I get a picture in my head and without analyzing what that picture might mean or the ramifications of actually implementing this picture, I share it.

Of course, I know right away when I’ve blown it. Either the people around me have a glazed look in their eyes or they look down at the table at a meeting. Bad idea, I get it. Bad idea.

If only this would be enough and I would stop. But once my mouth is in motion, I keep at it, trying to figure it out as I go, trying to massage the idea as it comes barreling forth, trying to fix what I said or add enough details that might salvage the moment. Instead, I manage to dig a deeper hole. Been there done that . . . a million times.

But Jesus was not engaged with his human friends at that point, he was transfigured (perhaps that body was more like the one people saw after his resurrection, who knows). And in that state of transfiguration, Jesus was not of this world, but transcending dimensions (something no less miraculous than feeding 5,000 and raising the dead). The source was the same: God. And really, who knows who those other two “figures” were or if their presence was relevant to what Peter and John saw. We’ll never know for sure.

And why did Jesus bring Peter and John along at all? It’s not like Jesus hadn’t gone off alone many, many times before that. He wanted them to witness the transfiguration. Why?

This weekend, I’ll be teaching at the Sunday evening Launch service on silence. Just another paradox in God’s economy. 🙂