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Posts Tagged ‘journey’

Lamp of the Word

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Photo by Steve Fraser

Photo by Steve Fraser

Throughout history, the Word has had the power to “light the way:” scripture, inspired by God in both the Old Testament and the New. Words handed down to us through story, heroes and villains, miracles and inheritance. The Word, then, a written and verbal account of the presence of God among humankind, given to enlighten our own actions and choices, to give examples and a path toward righteousness; a template for living and a warning in the face of evil. We acknowledge: Your word [God] is a lamp before my feet and a light for my journey. I have sworn, and I fully mean it: I will keep your righteous rules. [Psalm 119:105, CEB]

God gives and we must respond, or at the very least, I am compelled to answer. This psalm, the longest single chapter in the Bible, whose author is officially unknown but most assume that either David, Ezra, or Daniel wrote it. The overall message? The Word of God is all-sufficient.

Can I swear to that and mean  it? Can I keep the laws of God? Not all, for sure; and maybe not even the ten. But if I could just fasten my heart on to the two most compelling “Words” from God, two key laws, two commandments that hold within them, the entire Law of God:

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  [Matthew 22:37-39]

These two would light my journey indeed, each and every day, if I allowed them to do so, if I surrendered to their Truth and embraced them wholeheartedly, they would shine the brightest.

But I cannot. I don’t. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man [woman] of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips . . . ” [Isaiah 6:5a, NIV]

And for this reason, I cry out to my Jesus, that One who always knew and knows that I cannot follow that path on my own, no matter how much I want to do so today, tomorrow I will go astray. This I know, this I have seen in myself. Only One can cover me, can make the path wide enough for my weaving heart. Oh Jesu, my Savior, the propitiation for my weak resolve.

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My Heart on Pilgrimage

Posted in Ordinary Time, Praying the Psalms, tagged , , , , , , on September 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

It is a journey. It has always been a journey. And not just any journey, but a pilgrimage, a long odyssey toward a sacred place.

Paper cut design by Sue Codee

Paper cut design by Sue Codee

Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage,
As they pass through the Valley of Baka [valley of tears],
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion [dwelling place]. [Psalm 84:5-7, NIV 1984]

In YouVersion notes, the valley of Baka is explained this way: “It was nearly impossible to travel this valley without facing extreme hardship and suffering. That is why the Valley of Baca was named because it literally means “Valley of Tears”. Those who traveled this valley did not find relief until they reached their final destination.”

This is the way of the journey we have agreed to take as followers and believers. We can try to avoid this valley, but dangers abound whether we go through the Valley or around it. For this reason, we are encouraged to go slowly, from strength to strength (and not our own, but God’s) so that tears can be transformed into pools of living water.

My own heart complains of the way still. I know why: I keep trying to travel in my own strength. Like a three year old, I keep demanding to do it myself. Me, me, me. But that’s not the plan at all. And until I surrender and trust God to take care of me in this valley, I will slow my own progress forward.

This truth remains, again and again, I say: it is the paradox of our faith. Die to live; let go to hold; love to repay evil; give to receive.

This is the pilgrimage of the heart.

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Foot Touching

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Print by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld's (1794-1872)

Print by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld’s (1794-1872)

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. . . . “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”  Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”  [John 13:3-5, 8]

Jesus wanted to make a lasting impression. It’s not like he hadn’t talked about service and humility and lifting up others above oneself. But like so many of the parables and stories, he decided to create a picture, not just with words, but with actions. And yet, only John shares this story. Was it so humiliating? Did they fear the story would belie their claims of Jesus as the Messiah? After all, would the Messiah wash the feet of a mere fisherman? But for John, this was a critical illustration that could not be ignored.

And yet, the symbolic sharing of bread and wine at the meal is excluded by John. Clearly, for him, the foot washing was the most significant. And before that, the anointing of Jesus’s feet by Mary is told in detail. This too is bypassed by the other storytellers, except Luke, who doesn’t even identify the woman.

The significance of leadership and the self-abasement of feet is somehow important.

I never realized how much I under-appreciated my feet until I started having pain in the big toe of my left foot. Sometimes, it was so miserable, I couldn’t walk but a few steps. Every shoe had to pass the pain test before I would leave the bedroom. I tried everything from heat to cold to massage and acupuncture. I started wearing sandals everywhere (and not flipflops because the band would cut directly across the pain spot). Pretty soon, the pain started waking me up at night. Finally, I gave in and went to the doctor. The podiatrist was a little stumped because nothing really showed up in my x-rays or cat scan. In the end, he went ahead and did a bunionectomy even though my baby bunion was not the real problem. I think he just wanted to get in there and look around. It took almost three months to recover full use of my foot again . . . and of course, within a few months, the pain was back, not as acute, but still, there.

The podiatrist was not happy to see me again and said there was nothing more he could do. He gave me a referral to a physical therapist. I delayed that appointment for weeks out of embarrassment. I mean, really, a physical therapist for my toe??? And yet, I finally had no choice. Almost a year after my surgery, I gave in and went to the therapist. He was a really nice guy and I even told him my tale of embarrassment. The prescription was primarily deep massage.

The healing came through touch.

We don’t touch each other very much in our culture. Oh, we may hug and air kiss and we might shake hands or pat someone’s back. But a genuine touch, a focused touch, a touch with intent; now that makes a difference.

I have had massages off and on throughout the years, but only once did I have a massage by a believer who prayed over me throughout the experience. It was literally, life changing.

When Jesus washed the feet of the disciples, I don’t think he poured water out of a measuring cup or use handy wipes. He prepared them for the journey ahead. He healed them from the bottom up. He made them part of himself through touch: intimate and necessary.

I have written and will perform a monologue tomorrow evening at our Good Friday service and at one point, she says, “And if they [sinners and the the sick] were lucky, he would touch them: just so, just so.”

Touch me Lord. Wash my feet. Heal me. Prepare me for the days to come. The journey I have yet to walk.

 

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A Thinking God

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 6, 2013| Leave a Comment »

grieving angel“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
    declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” [Isaiah 55:8-9]

Here’s the difference. When you and I “think,” it’s just an opinion or point of view or perhaps a bit of problem solving. When God thinks, things come into being or mountains move. The answer to the question, “what is God thinking” is incomprehensible to humans. Maybe, “what are You making?” would be better. I get some solace from my faith in a blueprint. Some.

We’ve gotten too casual with God. Perhaps it’s part of the new informal culture where jeans are always acceptable and language has become various letters of the alphabet. YKWIM? We want the “thumbs up” Jesus. We don’t want to be afraid of God so we make God cozy and grandfatherly.

And although a relationship with God can be warm and intimate and full of mercy, there is a point when God basically says, “because I said so.” And this moment needs to be accepted with the same surrender as “cootchy, cootchy, coo.” A creator has the ability and the right to destroy or alter or remake the object. “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?”[Romans 9:20]

Lately, some terribly difficult circumstances have dropped into the lives of my colleagues and friends: several people have been diagnosed with cancer or had serious surgeries, a couple of people have been on dialysis for over a year, and now a 3 1/2 year old child died just three days after being diagnosed with T-Cell leukemia.The child’s death has been the most difficult of all.

It’s hard to avoid the gripe, “what is God thinking?” Is there a satisfactory answer in my world? Not really.

I understand intellectually. Each journey is different. And although I have come to a peace about my friend Mary dying from pancreatic cancer and how I admire her as she embraces this new path in her life odyssey, the bottom drops out of my confidence, when it’s a child. The grief is heavy, the weight of a family’s loss is palpable.

It’s not the first time I’ve witnessed the agony. Some years ago, I went to a viewing of a baby who had died of SIDS. The mother was so distraught that she pulled the lifeless, embalmed child from the coffin and carried her around the room of the funeral chapel. She was inconsolable. And there was nothing to say.

Every step of faith in the face of pain and trauma and sorrow, is an excursion into the mind of Christ, a dance with the Holy Spirit, a siege at the entrance of the “holy of holies.” But the answer is always the same, “God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, God’s ways are not my ways.”

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Creation Story & Me

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 30, 2012| 3 Comments »

Based on Genesis 1:1-31

Here’s what I’m thinking: there is a pattern to the creation story that can be replicated in my own spiritual renewal journey. The one I started yesterday. Again. Of course, each day is a new journey and each valley makes for a different trek up the next mountain. I know that. But for the sake of reflection, here’s what I picked up from the 7 day model.

Day One: Light, or discovery. See Renewal and Light post. It’s when a person realizes that something has to change.

Day Two: Separation (like light & darkness, water & sky). It’s really a way to get some order out of chaos. This will be my next challenge and it would be lovely if it would only take a day, but I’m thinking I’ll be at this stage for awhile. Everything got away from me and it’s time to do some sorting: save, toss, or give away. Those are the choices.

Day Three: Growth. Once there’s a little order, then there’s breathing space for growth (vegetation started on this day) and I can see how important it will be to build on what I discover.

Day Four: Time and Milestones. When God placed the sun and the moon and the stars, in my mind, these became a type of measurement. Time was established and the rhythms of life. And so it is in a time of renewal. As there is growth, then there need to be milestones and landmarks along the way. That’s the way I’ll be able to remember. It’s important to mark the time.

Day Five: Multiplication. This is interesting to me that the multiplication part actually starts before the big Kahuna was created (human beings). So, that means, that while I am growing and marking my development, I will also be multiplying “self.” That is, the self that I am becoming, the learnings, the developments, the comprehension, and maybe, if I can sustain this journey, the wisdom.

Day Six: Human (in God’s image). That’s huge. True humanity is true holiness and godliness. I’d love to think I could “arrive” at human one day, but instead, I know, there are only glimpses on this side of heaven (as it were). But there are moments and in those moments, there is love and kindness and generosity and thoughtfulness and patience and transparency and selflessness and yes, even sacrifice. That is Human to which God wants us to aspire.

Day Seven: Rest. Selah (pause and calmly think about that).

And then start all over again. Thanks God for taking me along this way again. Thanks for giving me a “Way” to you. You laid it out even before you sent the Christ.

Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

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Entrusted with the Faith

Posted in Advent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on December 11, 2011| Leave a Comment »

A fantasy story line comes to mind: certain characters are entrusted with a secret stone or message or magic phrase and they are called to face numerous odds to protect it, embrace it, and nurture it. With each successful engagement, the power enlarges but so does the evil that opposes it. Each time, engagement becomes more difficult. The opposition is weighty.

Jude 1:3b
. . . I felt compelled to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God’s holy people.

It’s fanciful I know, but I think, as believers, we sometimes lose the wonder of what we have in the Christ: that Holy Spirit, that Truth, that potential for joy and peace within. The experience of eternity is within. It is the spirit, after all, that lives on after the body fades. Part of the message we hold determines the quality of our eternity. We also lose track of the power of the opposition, as well as its inventiveness and ability to dissemble.

Does anyone else wonder why the message was sent in that particular era dominated by the Roman empire? What was it about the plight of the Jewish nation (one of many) that compelled God to send the whole Story. The people cried Hosanna! (save us) and God sent the most unlikely Savior, not a general leading a great army to destroy the Romans but a baby born to a couple of poor folks.

No instant messaging was available, no news feed, no reporters on the scene. In fact, what witnesses there were, few had much credibility: shepherds (one of the most disreputable “professions” of the day) were supposedly informed by a sky full of angels? Right. And what were they smoking? Or, what about those foreign guys: mystics and astronomers that weren’t even of the faith? They probably had an ulterior motive. I mean, the people closest to the event (like the innkeeper, let’s say), don’t seem to have much place in the story or what about all those other people who were stuck in Bethlehem for the census? No, I think it was a pretty hushed affair, just another baby and just another mouth to feed.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. [Luke 2:19]

Mary was the first one who was entrusted with a truth, a power, a hint of what was to come. She did not stand on a street corner and declare the message. She didn’t start a blog or expect special treatment. She didn’t go to the governor and display her treasure. She waited. Her role was not truly expanded until after the death and resurrection of Christ.

I am entrusted with faith. I accepted the quest, the mission. But I am not so sure I have been wholly conscious of my role. Or perhaps, that full expression of my understanding as been successfully undermined by the adversaries.

I think my next foray should be covered with a backup. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” [Matthew 18:20] I need to find those partners, like the trio from Harry Potter or the Three Musketeers or even, the three disciples who knew Jesus the best.

It’s a journey all right and it’s a journey that is best taken together.

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