Feeds:
Posts
Comments

My First Love

January 2, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

Painting by He Qi Chin

The hard part in these verses, the first of seven admonitions to the churches in Asia under John’s authority, is the complimentary tone, the praise for all of their hard work, and in particular, their endurance and perseverance. And yet, it is for nothing without love.

Revelation 2:3-4
I know you are enduring patiently and are bearing up for My name’s sake, and you have not fainted or become exhausted or grown weary. But I have this [one charge to make] against you: that you have left (abandoned) the love that you had at first [you have deserted Me, your first love]. [Amplified]

This is the classic Mary/Martha conundrum [Luke 10:38-42] where Martha, the overly busy one is chastised by Jesus whereas Mary is praised, not for her “good works” but her devotion, her love.

I think about my early weeks as a believer. They were indeed like the proverbial honeymoon. I wanted to be in the Presence as much as possible. I prayed effortlessly for hours. I devoured the scriptures, cover to cover, several times over. I wanted to know God. I wanted to catch up. I had missed so much.

As a child, I was raised in the Latvian Lutheran church, and that, in itself, is not bad, but growing up in America where my heritage became more and more of an add-on instead of a way of life, I kicked against the church just as I kicked against Latvian school and speaking Latvian in the home. I did not really listen. I did not learn. And as a result, by the time I reached adulthood, I knew the Bible as a group of stories and parables. It held no life.

Many years later, in the noise and speed of New York City, miles from my hometown in Indiana, living the life I had imagined a young actress should lead, the last person I expected to encounter was the Christ.

My encounter was personal, just the Word, the Presence and me, Christmas Eve, 1979. At first, uncomfortable with my new found love, I mumbled my decision to follow this Savior. I didn’t really want anyone to know. But things do change and people saw my change and the old haunts, the old ways, no longer had appeal. In some cases, it was a test . . . not for me, but for this God I had chosen to follow. And that one was faithful, eventually removing me from each and every terror, drug habit, drinking habit, and erotica.

My first love first loved me.

But thirty years is a long time and like an old married couple, I have become somewhat cavalier in my relationship. Still busy, still faithful, but without the wonder. I am a good volunteer. I say “yes” to almost every task. I fill my calendar.

Irmgarde,” the Lord might say, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. And Mary is an example of what it means to choose what is better.

Posted in Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Do Not Be Afraid

January 1, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

photograph by Angelica Cotos

Whether it’s angels, prophets, or the “son of man” speaking to a human, at least seventy times in scripture, they each instruct people not to fear. A clue: their appearances and proximity must be downright terrifying, and I infer, equally hard for the human to describe or process. What is happening to me?


Revelation 1:17-18
When I [John] saw him [“someone like a son of man”], I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.

God is so different from us and even Jesus, who walked as human among us for those short 30 +/- years, altered after his resurrection. Oh, I know, most paintings or prints of his resurrected self show him looking pretty normal, but I’m thinking that normality was only during his 40 days on earth before he finally ascended [see Acts 1:3]. After that, I think he went on to a different manifestation, perhaps more like his transfiguration on the high mountain with Peter, John & James [Matt 17:1-13 & Mark 9:2-13]. Here is a whisper of the brilliance and light, power and energy, the “otherness” of the Christ.

Years ago, I used to joke with my husband that I wouldn’t go on a mission trip to some remote or dangerous place unless Jesus sat on my bed and told me to go. It was a silly way to insist that mission work was not for me. Eventually, I did travel to Africa and I’m grateful Jesus didn’t have to go to one of those extremes to get my “buy-in.”

Transfigured appearances of the Christ are significant. Anyone who has had a supernatural experience should know. And I’m guessing the phenomenon would be no less terrifying to us today. I would have strong doubts of any story was told otherwise. God light encompasses and penetrates the soul.

When John heard a voice and turned to look at its source (verses 12-16), he describes what he saw as best he could: 7 lampstands, “someone like a son of man” (which I interpret to mean that he looked human-like but not completely) who appeared to be dressed in white with blazing eyes, glowing feet and a voice that sounded like rushing waters (very loud, in case you haven’t stood by a mountain stream lately). John lost all composure and collapsed to the ground. Would I do any better?

And yet, this bright one, touched John and spoke, “Do not be afraid.” Everything John saw and felt gave him fear. It was all outside his experience; it made the mountaintop transfiguration seem like nothing.

John also described a two-edged sword coming out of the Christ’s mouth. There is nothing appealing to me about an image like that. I have seen artists depict this sword and it gives me the creeps. As I ponder the idea of a two-edged sword that cuts through anything and everything, back and forth, one swath at a time, I imagine, instead, John experiencing the truth of his life uncovered and revealed. Whatever the self-deceptions had been were exposed. The sword, the breath, the light, cuts away the dross.

And perhaps, then, the fear is not just from the presence of a holy God but from the impact that holiness has on us. The bonus is that Christ embraces us all the same.

The mystery of the sacrifice, once and for all, allows us into the Presence. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit recognizes God and vice versa.

Do not be afraid of the two-edged sword and its revelations. Do not be afraid of the Light that illuminates us both within and without. Do not be afraid of Spirit that transfigures us. Selah.

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Alpha and the Omega

December 30, 2011 by Irmgarde Brown

How do we lose the bottom line? God is God and that’s the point. God is sovereign. God is above all, within all, beneath all. Acknowledge God and life can be trusted. Engage God and a life can be transformed.

Revelation 1:8
“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”

Start here. I start here today. Today is my Alpha. . .

Posted in Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Time Was Near–Not

December 29, 2011 by Irmgarde Brown

I am beginning the Book of Revelation with some fear and trembling. I’ve read it before and I know of its mysteries as I am aware of the promised blessings for reading it. I pray for fresh eyes. Let me start then with this: the time was near? Not really. Is it near today? It can be, if we so choose.

Revelation 1:3
Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

Of course, there is always the issue of what is time to God? Near in time to God is a type of nonsense since there is no time as we know it in God’s realm. This is all a human interpretation of the message. John sensed urgency and for him, that meant the “time” would come posthaste, soon, and in short order. But that didn’t happen.

Some writers interpret this “nearness of time” as the start of the prophesied events. they say the milestone events were merely drawn out over the millennium and while the end may not be near-near, the beginning of the end was near enough to mention then.

But again, I cast aside anything dealing with time. I think humans spend too much energy on interpreting the time and the times. For this reason, we have a plethora of prophecies and kooks in abundance. And yet, human has managed to live through the “end of time” several years over, from the rise of Hitler in the 1930’s to October 21st (or 28th), 2011 (the predicted dates of Harold Camping and Family Radio). To make things even more interesting, we now have the secular world in on the “end of time” party as we enter into 2012, the year that the Mayan calendar ends.

I am not saying there is no Judgment Day … I’m sure there is, but I am saying that we are incapable of predicting the time. Our world is always in a state of flux, either through the unpredictability of nature or the power of prayer. The way is morphing. Our relationships with God are changing. Our “times” are transforming, lengthening and shortening as God wills.

This is the only element of God that is truly near: the Holy Spirit. The nearness, the very indwelling, of God through the Spirit is the most significant nearness factor. And this nearness depends on human to embrace the truth of Presence.

When Jesus walked the earth, he spoke of the “nearness” of the Kingdom of Heaven as within us [Luke 17:20-21]. This is where the true revelation is now and will be, no matter what events happen or don’t happen. The salvation of humankind is within.

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Who Keeps Me From Falling?

December 27, 2011 by Irmgarde Brown

If the Christ is keeping me from falling, then the implication is clear: my tendency is to fall. Probably, I am more off balance than on, leaning at an edge. Without the centering power of the Christ, I will cascade, slowly or quickly, depending on my grip, into the pit, the valley, the quicksand.

Jude 1:24
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—

I have just journeyed the Christmas season with little anchoring. I allowed the busy-ness of the holidays to pull me away from my center. Even church events became distractions instead of magnets, as well as shopping, wrapping, and food preparation – awesome Martha [Luke 10:40] activities – but little centering time. I discovered I can sing about the baby Jesus, I can listen to hymns, I can go to church and pray corporately, but it does not keep me from falling out of the Presence.

Like the woman with the issue of blood [Luke 8:43-48], I must be intentional in centering down with the Holy Spirit; I must reach out and grab onto to the cloak, the covering, the access points I have been given. Oh sure, God is gracious and merciful, and I am not condemned, but I have missed a blessing by not inhabiting the presence of Christ within.

Jude commends us to “pray IN in the Holy Spirit.” Some believe this phrase means to pray in tongues or other form of “spiritual” language. And I don’t discount these as possibilities, but I am more interested in the intent of praying WITH the Holy Spirit within. It is a joint effort, this type of praying, it is praying without boundaries, it is praying in unison, it is praying out of a relationship. It is divine. It is powerful. It is holy.

And from here, the soul is centered, the spirit is centered, and as a result, the body is centered, joined to the Spirit of Wholeness [holiness].

At this time of year, many begin looking to the New Year, with resolutions and goal setting. I have but one: to remain in the Presence of Holy Spirit who keeps me from falling.

Posted in Christmas Through Epiphany | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Way of Cain

December 16, 2011 by Irmgarde Brown

Painting by Titian, 16 Cent.

I’m pretty sure everything started out fairly normal for the brothers, Cain and Abel. Raised by the same parents, they got the same instruction, the same opportunities, the same attention; much like most siblings of today. So, what went wrong? And why is it a warning for me?

Jude 1:10-11a
Yet these people slander whatever they do not understand, and the very things they do understand by instinct—as irrational animals do—will destroy them. Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain . . .

Things must have started going downhill long before the big moment in Genesis 4:3-5, when both boys brought an offering to God, Cain (the eldest) from his farm produce and Abel from his herds. The produce offering was rejected while the animal offering was accepted. Cain thought his offering was fine, the way to go. Maybe it didn’t occur to him to find out what would be better, or that something “could” be better. Maybe Abel just lucked out when he brought a blood sacrifice. We’ll never know.

But what we do know is that the Cain/Abel dynamic was already in place and Cain, instead of changing up to another offering or trying another way, resented his brother’s good fortune. I doubt he took any time at all to analyze his situation or consider some alternatives. He “went with his gut” and confronted his brother. Sometimes, I think people assume that Abel was Mr. Goody-2-Shoes and had the inside track on offering styles of the day. But, what if Abel was doing a little victory dance in the end zone? I’m just sayin.’

But here’s the point. I must be more cautionary in my actions, more circumspect. I may “think” I know what is going on, but then again, I may not. How easy it is to over-react. The “Way of Cain” is thoughtless, emotional, and brash. Cain’s way burns bridges and changes lives forever. Even if there is forgiveness for Cain, the damage is done.

Posted in Advent | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Entrusted with the Faith

December 11, 2011 by Irmgarde Brown

A fantasy story line comes to mind: certain characters are entrusted with a secret stone or message or magic phrase and they are called to face numerous odds to protect it, embrace it, and nurture it. With each successful engagement, the power enlarges but so does the evil that opposes it. Each time, engagement becomes more difficult. The opposition is weighty.

Jude 1:3b
. . . I felt compelled to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God’s holy people.

It’s fanciful I know, but I think, as believers, we sometimes lose the wonder of what we have in the Christ: that Holy Spirit, that Truth, that potential for joy and peace within. The experience of eternity is within. It is the spirit, after all, that lives on after the body fades. Part of the message we hold determines the quality of our eternity. We also lose track of the power of the opposition, as well as its inventiveness and ability to dissemble.

Does anyone else wonder why the message was sent in that particular era dominated by the Roman empire? What was it about the plight of the Jewish nation (one of many) that compelled God to send the whole Story. The people cried Hosanna! (save us) and God sent the most unlikely Savior, not a general leading a great army to destroy the Romans but a baby born to a couple of poor folks.

No instant messaging was available, no news feed, no reporters on the scene. In fact, what witnesses there were, few had much credibility: shepherds (one of the most disreputable “professions” of the day) were supposedly informed by a sky full of angels? Right. And what were they smoking? Or, what about those foreign guys: mystics and astronomers that weren’t even of the faith? They probably had an ulterior motive. I mean, the people closest to the event (like the innkeeper, let’s say), don’t seem to have much place in the story or what about all those other people who were stuck in Bethlehem for the census? No, I think it was a pretty hushed affair, just another baby and just another mouth to feed.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. [Luke 2:19]

Mary was the first one who was entrusted with a truth, a power, a hint of what was to come. She did not stand on a street corner and declare the message. She didn’t start a blog or expect special treatment. She didn’t go to the governor and display her treasure. She waited. Her role was not truly expanded until after the death and resurrection of Christ.

I am entrusted with faith. I accepted the quest, the mission. But I am not so sure I have been wholly conscious of my role. Or perhaps, that full expression of my understanding as been successfully undermined by the adversaries.

I think my next foray should be covered with a backup. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” [Matthew 18:20] I need to find those partners, like the trio from Harry Potter or the Three Musketeers or even, the three disciples who knew Jesus the best.

It’s a journey all right and it’s a journey that is best taken together.

Posted in Advent | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »