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Posts Tagged ‘mindfulness’

The Rest of This Day

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2011| 3 Comments »

It’s a hard reminder that our lives are not our own, no matter how much we believe they are. Oh sure, there are responsibilities and choices that only I can make for myself, and yet, in the end, it is God and all that is infinite that chooses to give or take away, to end or begin.


James 4: 13-14
Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a city and spend a year there and carry on our business and make money. Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air]. [Amplified]

Conceptually, it should be a joy: after all, isn’t God sovereign? Doesn’t God promise to do what is good for me, even better than the birds of the air [Matthew 6:26]? But I don’t walk each day in this confidence. I am still wary of the next moment. I still want to “control” it: after all, what is familiar, even painful seems better than the unknown.

But the future is the great unknown. We can create probabilities, but we cannot create absolutes.

And so, I ask, what will I experience for the rest of this day? Can I keep my hands open? Can I say “yes” to this day before it unfolds? Can I trust god with my time, my experiences, my journey?

When/what is the next moment anyway? Is it now? no now, no this other now. I can watch the clock or I can turn that invisible countdown outward.

When my elderly mother lived with us, up until her 91st year, she would get so frustrated because she felt so unproductive in those last years. In fact, one of her biggest concerns, “What should I do for the rest of my life?” She never considered the number of those days, just the fullness of them. She wanted to see her minutes and hours as valuable to others, useful.

Can I be more mindful of my day time? Can I hear the stray comment, the smallest encounter, the big mistakes as well as the great successes as opportunities to embrace the “rest of my day” in God, through Christ and the Holy Spirit?

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Doing what is Good

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2011| 3 Comments »

Book by Sheena Iyengar

Here is the duality of living and walking the faith: first there is the inner journey, bringing the life within into the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit; then, secondly, the outer journey, walking out the behaviors of the Way and choosing to “do good.”

Titus 2:6-7a
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. . . .

I wish this dual walk was more linear. You know, get the inner life in order and only then, venture out into the world. But it’s not like that. We must live in both worlds at the same time and apply what is learned within along the way. I suppose the ideal is reaching a point when the inner and outer lives are meshed into one and they operate seamlessly. Good is no longer a choice but a state of being. God is good.

Instead, I must remain conscious and aware; I must choose to be good.

The other day, I went to the optician to order new glasses after several years of wearing the same frames. To be honest, the idea of changing my appearance so drastically was a little daunting. I even thought about bringing a friend or one of my teenagers to help me pick out the frames. But then, I knew, if I did that, I would muddy the waters of my decision-making. Fortunately, I had the best optician. He helped me pick a small group of frames, six or so. Then, I sat down and he presented me with two. Between those two, I had to choose one. And so forth, from one pair of choices to the next. It was hard but doable.

And then it occurred to me this morning that “doing good” is very similar. I can’t make a global choice to do good, but as my day unveils, I can handle choosing between two possibilities.

Our culture overwhelms us with the cereal aisle of choices and it’s difficult to know which way and which one. Many in the current generation of teens and twenty-somethings are frozen by the panorama of options. They live in a country where anything is possible, or at least, this is what they have been taught. But they haven’t been taught how to choose along the way.

I am no better. Historically, I have been a “Jill of all trades” and the master of none.

Today, I will bring the array down to a manageable level. And as I look at those choices today, I will ask myself, which one is good.

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Always and Continually

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Never say never but don’t hesitate to say “always” and “continually?” Doesn’t seem quite fair but there it is. In this section of Thessalonians, Paul gives a long list of instructions, straightforward and direct but how do I follow them? Can’t. So what is my appropriate response?

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I guess it’s important to know the ideal and the perfect, but it also makes the difference between me and that goal so expansive, so blatantly unreachable that I’m a deer in the headlights.

This is where the Christ stands in the gap.

And yet, just because there is One willing to pray when I stop or rejoice when I give up does not mean I don’t have a responsibility to pursue the “always.” In fact, it’s the opposite. I have to want it. I have to want the manifestation of perfect through the ongoing presence of the Holy Spirit. How else do I become mindful, or conscious, or intentional about transforming?

Is anything perfect? Is nature perfect? Is the sunset or the waning moon or the waves that crash on a beach day in and day out perfect?

“For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” [Romans 8:20b-21]

We’re in this together. You, me, earth and all the rest.

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Why Do I Go Back?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 24, 2010| 1 Comment »

I do it all the time. I start a diet, lose weight, and then go back to my old eating habits. I order my space and vow to keep it that way, and before I know it, it’s trashed. I judge someone, ask for forgiveness, and judge again. Am I so weak? I am.

Galatians 4:9
But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?

What is the draw of the old way? I guess if I were an alcoholic or drug addict, I would be drinking and shooting up again. It’s destructive behavior and yet it’s familiar. It’s crazy-making [Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.] It’s the path of least resistance.

I am the Israelites in the desert who complained about the new way and wanted to go back to Egypt and slavery: they thought that would be better than their current struggle in the present time [Exodus 16:1-3].

Is it forgetfulness or is it mindlessness? Or both? When God brings change into my life, I am so happy and full of energy. I am clear headed and I see the big picture. I am focused. I am motivated. But once I reach a certain plateau in the process, it’s like hitting a wall. There is no movement forward. I lose track of those initial feelings and strength. Oh, I might try to climb the wall for a bit, I might even try to walk around it. But my drive to persevere is sucked away and I am left with my old self for company.

I say mindlessness because it feels like the opposite of mindfulness. It takes mindfulness to stay aware of the Christ Spirit within and without. It takes effort. It is a special type of wakefulness.

When I was in acting school I learned how to walk a tightrope in our circus class. The clue to tightrope walking is maintaining a focus on the end of the rope, the junction point. As soon as I would take my eyes off that point, I would lose my balance. As I tried to do more complicated maneuvers, it became harder and harder to maintain that focus. My little life is not much different.

Put me back on the tightrope today, with Christ ahead, my focal point.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me. (St. Patrick)

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Am I Failing the Test?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I don’t like taking tests. Does anyone? I tend to freeze up, get anxious over details, or answer too quickly. But I’m a good student and usually I’m smart enough to “pass the test” as a whole but what about all those wrong answers? Is the spiritual test pass/fail?

II Corinthians 13:5
Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it. [The Message]

I’m confident I’ve got all the big stuff down. After all, I’ve been a believer for a long time! Jesus is indeed the Christ, died for the sins of the world and rose from the dead. I am comfortable with both the Nicene Creed and the Apostles’ Creed.

But there are those daily transgressions, those small judgments, those secret lies, those exaggerations, and worse of all, those unnecessary comments (that’s a nice way of saying “gossip”).

I really believe the problem is lack of mindfulness and awareness to Presence. I have been practicing the Divine Hours for the last year, but lately, I find I’m leapfrogging through the day and only doing morning and evening. I’m letting my day and my energy get sucked up by busy-ness. It’s not good for any self-test or self-examination. It means I am not consciously looking for Christ in others. I’m not recognizing Christ in my circumstances. I’m walking blind and deaf.

Oh, it’s like winning the war on a technicality even though I’m losing all the battles.

Here’s where I could use some help, some sisters or brothers, to just poke me a little and say, “Remember” or “Look” or “Listen.”

Quicken my spirit Lord.

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How I Look at Others

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 30, 2010| Leave a Comment »

What criteria do I use when I look at other people? I’m sure it’s still that “worldly view.” I’m assessing weight, demeanor, stride, clothing, work, and even neighborhood. Am I looking for the “new creation?” I don’t think so.

II Corinthians 5:16a, 17
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. . . Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

For years, this “new creation” verse has been used to give hope to the believer that he/she has been changed by faith in Christ. We are no longer bound to our old ways, we are transformed. That is true.

But here’s what I never understood before. As the observer, I am supposed to look with new eyes on others. I am charged to look for their new creation. I am to let go of my old way, my “worldly way” of scrutinizing people around me, and affirm their metamorphosis.

So often as people work on themselves, work to change old habits, it’s often the friends and acquaintances around them who sabotage their efforts. Someone goes on a diet and we bring in donuts for the break room. Someone stops drinking alcohol and we offer “just one.” Even in our households, a family member looks to begin a new routine of prayer or walking or study, but there are constant interruptions, the process discounted as authentic or necessary.

Have I sabotaged those around me trying to change? Have I kept looking for grey when they started wearing red?

God forgive me. I am so focused on my own issues, I forget to endorse the efforts of others. I say I am an agent for change but I am insensitive to the small adjustments, the baby steps that others are taking first.

Heighten my mindfulness this day.

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A Most Excellent Way

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on June 12, 2010| 2 Comments »

It’s the “hippy” chapter: love, love, love. And yet, with all this talk of love being the most excellent way, greater than anything else, greater than faith or knowledge, it’s still missing in most of our lives.

I Corinthians 12:31b, 13:2b
And now I will show you the most excellent way . . . if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

A friend gave me Mother Teresa’s book, “In My Own Words,” which has a heavy emphasis on the love theme. Mother Teresa got it. She lived it. She taught it. And most people admired her for it but couldn’t live like her; they were amazed by her selflessness and her ability to reach out to the poorest of the poor, to actually love the unlovable. But isn’t that what Christ asks from each of us?

What would it take to become a person of love. . . to be known primarily for love?

I am still a product of my culture and my generation. We started the “me” generation and we’ve passed it to our kids. We don’t love because that exercise requires greater concern for the “other” than for self. That’s really the only hindrance.

I’d like to make this more complicated than it is and come up with all kinds of valid justifications for not loving, but there aren’t any, not really.

I get in the way. I am my own stumbling block.

My proposal for myself today: Just ask, “Is this loving? Am I speaking out of love? Am I responding to the “sacred center” of the other? Can I be generous in love?”

I want to be more conscious today. I want to be mindful. My habits, those automatic reactions, are not loving. To change, I must wake up. Look. Really look and sense. Ah! It’s prayer.

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